She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Why are you laughing?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “The bread thing, I think. Also … did you really google your period? You could have asked me about that—I know about periods.”
Cath exhaled. “It’s okay. We googled everything back then.”
“You don’t have to talk to her,” he said softly. “Nobody’s gonna make you.”
“Yeah, but Wren has already—she’s already let down the drawbridge.”
“Wren must have some shit she still needs to figure out.”
Cath clenched her fists and pushed them into her eyes. “I just … don’t like this.… I don’t like thinking about her, I don’t want to see her. I don’t want her in this house, thinking about how it used to be her house, about how we used to be hers, too.… I don’t want her brain touching us.”
Her dad pulled Cath into his arms. “I know.”
“I feel like everything’s upside down.”
He took another deep breath. “Me, too.”
“Did you freak out when she called?”
“I cried for three hours.”
“Oh, Dad…”
“Your grandmother gave her my cell phone number.”
“Have you seen her?”
“No.”
Cath shuddered, and her dad squeezed her tight. “When I think about her coming here,” she said, “it’s like that scene in Fellowship of the Ring when the hobbits are hiding from the Nazg?l.”
“Your mother isn’t evil, Cath.”
“That’s just how I feel.”
He was quiet for a few seconds. “Me, too.”
*
Wren didn’t get back in time for Thanksgiving dinner; she ended up staying the night.
“I feel like if we set the table and pretend everything’s normal,” Cath said to her dad, “it’s just going to be worse.”
“Agreed,” he said.
They ate in the living room, turkey and mashed potatoes, and watched the History Channel. The green bean casserole sat in the kitchen and got cold because Wren was the only person who ever ate it.
Baz. “Have you ever done this before?”
Simon. “Yes. No.”
“Yes or no?”
“Yes. Not like this.”
Baz. “Not with a boy?”
Simon. “Not when I really wanted it.”
—from “Shall We?” posted April 2010 by FanFixx.net author Magicath
FIFTEEN
When Cath saw it was Levi standing outside the door, she was so happy to see his always-friendly face, she just let him in. She didn’t even bother telling him that Reagan wasn’t there.
“Is Reagan here?” he asked as soon as he was in the room. Levi’s face wasn’t friendly. His forehead was furrowed, and his little bow lips were drawn tight.
“No,” Cath said. “She went out hours ago.” She didn’t add: With a giant guy named Chance who plays lots of intramural football and looks like he could play John Henry in the movie version of John Henry.
“Fuck,” Levi said, leaning back against the door. Even angry, he was a leaner.
“What’s wrong?” Cath asked. Was he finally jealous? Didn’t he know about the other guys? Cath always figured he and Reagan had an arrangement.
“She was supposed to study with me,” he said.
“Oh…,” Cath said, not understanding. “Well, you can still study here if you want.”
“No.” Angry. “I need her help. We were supposed to study last night and she put me off, and the test is tomorrow and—” He hurled a book down on Reagan’s bed, then sat at the end of Cath’s, looking away from her but still hiding his face. “She said she’d study with me.”
Cath walked over and picked up the book. “The Outsiders?”
“Yeah.” He looked up. “Have you read it?”
“No. Have you?”
“No.”
“So read it,” she said. “Your test is tomorrow? You have time. It doesn’t look very long.”
Levi shook his head and looked at the floor again. “You don’t understand. I have to pass this test.”
“So read the book. Were you just gonna let Reagan read it for you?”
He shook his head again—not in answer, more like he was shaking his head at the very idea of reading the book.
“I told you,” he said. “I’m not much of a book person.”
Levi always said that. I’m not a book person. Like books were rich desserts or scary movies.
“Yeah, but this is school,” she said. “Would you let Reagan take the test for you?”
“Maybe,” he huffed. “If that was an option.”
Cath dropped the book next to him on her bed and went to her desk. “You may as well watch the movie,” she said distastefully.
“It’s not available.”
Cath made a noise like hunh in her throat.
“You don’t understand,” Levi said. “If I don’t get a C in this class, I get kicked out my program.”
“So read the book.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s exactly that simple,” Cath said. “You have a test tomorrow, your girlfriend isn’t here to do your work—read the book.”
“You don’t understand … anything.”