The second Brian set me down on a sofa in the security office, Juliette threw her arms around me in a fierce hug. “Are you okay?”
“No.” My tears returned with her hug. “I want to go home. How are we ever supposed to get out of here?”
A man who introduced himself as the building’s head of security stepped in front of us. “Did you drive here?”
Juliette nodded. “We left our car with the valet.”
“We’ll have them drive your car around to the back entrance where the delivery trucks unload. It’s not far from here and that whole area is blocked off to the public. You should be able to leave unnoticed, but we’ll send a police cruiser with you just to be safe.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. If we could leave today without being followed, then it might not be too late to retain some semblance of privacy. Nobody knew who I was. Even Brian didn’t know my last name or where I lived.
Rob handed our valet ticket to the man and he read the number into a handheld radio. After a quick reply, he smiled at us again. “It’ll be here in about ten minutes.”
I sank back into the sofa as far as the cushions would give, exhausted now that the adrenaline had left my system. My nerves were so frazzled I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover.
Brian sat down next to me and pulled my hand into his. He said nothing, but he leaned over and kissed my cheek. A few minutes later his assistant Scott arrived. “Everything at the Dragon’s Roost is taken care of,” he informed Brian as he set down my gloves, book, and walking staff that I’d left behind in the restaurant. “The manager was pretty mortified that you guys were disrupted like that and refused to let you pay for your meal. He sends his sincerest apologies.”
Brian nodded. He looked as tired as I felt when he pulled himself to a stand and handed Scott a set of keys. “One last favor, and then I demand you take a few days off. Would you mind getting Precious home safe?”
I loved the astonishment that washed over Scott’s face. I imagine I’d look much the same way if Brian ever asked me that.
“Precious?” Vivian asked, confused.
She glanced at me to see if I knew what he meant, and I smiled my first smile in what felt like hours. “His Ferrari. He named her Precious.” I sighed when no one got it. “As in ‘my precious’… Gollum… The One Ring…?”
Still nothing. I threw my head back and groaned. “How can I be friends with so many people who don’t understand that reference?”
Brian laughed.
“He’s a huge Lord of the Rings nerd,” I explained to my Tolkien-challenged friends.
“Fan,” Brian corrected, his grin dissolving into a pout. “Not nerd. And like you can talk, Miss I-saw-the-movie-twelve-times-in-the-theater.”
Everyone chuckled and Brian winked at me before turning his attention back to Scott. “Would you switch cars with me? Drive Precious home and hang out for a bit until I can bring your car back? There’s a bonus in it for you.”
“Sure.”
“Of course, get one scratch on her and you’re totally fired.”
Scott gulped as he stared down at the keys in his palm. “Right. No problem.”
Brian laughed and punched Scott’s shoulder lightly. “I’m messing with you, man. You know I’d never be able to function without you. Just take care of my baby. I won’t be too long. I only want to drive Ella home and make sure she’s all right, but the paparazzi are too familiar with my car.”
When I realized what he said, my heart lurched and my playful mood vanished. “I’d rather you didn’t,” I croaked in a shaky voice.
Everyone in the room froze, and then both Vivian and Juliette came to my side while Brian frowned at me, confused. I gulped, hoping I’d be able to do what needed to be done without hurting him too much. “I’m sorry, Brian.” The statement was heavy and everyone in the room understood its full meaning.
“Are you sure about this?” Juliette whispered.
It wasn’t what I wanted, but I was sure it was what needed to happen. What would people say when reporters splashed pictures of my hideous scars all over the media for the entire world to see? What would happen when they discovered my identity? My pain and suffering, my accident, losing my mother, and my suicide attempt would all be showcased to the whole world as nothing more than gossip and cheap entertainment. I didn’t think I could live with that.
“I’m sure.” I took a few breaths and then forced myself to meet Brian’s gaze. He deserved that much at least. “I could have dealt with almost anything, but this…” I shook my head. “You were right when you said I couldn’t handle your world. I can’t. I’m sorry, Brian. I’m not the right girl for you.”
Brian’s eyes flew wide open. He crossed the room to me in two long strides, and both Juliette and Vivian scrambled up so he could sit down beside me. He took my hand again and pleaded “Don’t do this” with all the passion that made him famous.
His emotion twisted my insides. I understood exactly why he’d become an actor. His eyes said so much more than words ever could. Right now they were telling me how confused, hurt, and even scared he was. I couldn’t stand it. Somewhere underneath the Brian Oliver exterior was my best friend—the single most important person in my life. I never wanted to cause him worry, and I especially never wanted to hurt him.
The dam behind my eyes threatened to break again. “Two weeks ago it was you begging for what we had to be enough,” I said. “Now I have to ask the same.”
Brian shook his head furiously. “You think there’s any way we can go back after today? We can’t, Ella. We belong together, and you know it.”
He wasn’t making this easy, but I squared my shoulders, determined. “It wouldn’t be that simple.”
Brian raked his hand through his hair so violently I feared it would leave a bald spot in its wake. “I know fame is a lot to deal with—I know it’s asking a lot of you—but I swear I would make it worth it for you.”
I believed he would try, but I knew he wouldn’t really have control of the situation. He complained all the time about not having any control over his life. I knew for a fact that who he dated mattered—hence the reason he’d been with Kaylee Summers.
Dating a girl like me would completely ruin his image. It already had. I’d just destroyed everything he was trying to accomplish with his fake relationship when I’d “cheated” with him in public. People were not going to forgive me for that. His world would never approve of me. I was a nobody. I was worse than a nobody. I was crippled and deformed, scarred and ugly.
We really were Cinder and Ella. I was the commoner, and he a prince. Even if he loved me, eventually he would make the choice expected of him—the noble choice, as he so often told me. He would choose Ratana. Maybe it wouldn’t be Kaylee Summers, but it would be someone famous. Someone beautiful. Someone worthy of him.
“I can’t do it. People tear apart even the most beautiful Hollywood starlets for having a less-than-perfect nose, or an extra ounce of fat. Even if you can overlook my flaws, the rest of the world never will. I can’t handle the things they’ll say about me. I’m not like you. I’m too self-conscious. Too vain. Too weak.”
“Ellamara, you are not weak. It might not be easy, but we’ll deal with it together. Give us a chance. Please.”
I closed my eyes again and fought against more tears. What I needed to say would be the hardest words I’d ever speak, but they had to be said. “You are still my best friend. You know I love you more than anything. I will always be there for Cinder, but I can’t be a part of Brian Oliver’s life. I’m sorry.”
I gulped back my emotions and looked to my other friends. “Vivian?”
Vivian knew what I wanted. She brought me my walking staff and helped me stand up. Brian stopped me before I got to the door. “I know you’re a little freaked out about the fame thing, but—”
“I’m not a little freaked out, Brian.” My last shred of control finally broke and I screamed at him. “I’m terrified! I’m on probation with my therapist right now. I’m one anxiety attack away from being locked up in a mental hospital. One bully attack away from being kicked out of school, and I’m already a full year behind from spending eight months in the hospital.”
“Eight months?” Brian whispered in horrified surprise.
I stopped yelling and the hopelessness I felt seeped into my voice. “Yes. And I still have years of recovery ahead of me. I have my thirty-seventh surgery scheduled for January. I’m still grieving over the loss of my mother, still struggling to accept everything that’s happened to me. I’m barely surviving. I don’t think I can handle the kind of pressure you’re asking me to take on.”
When Brian replied, his voice was small. It was the first time I’d ever heard him sound insecure. “It’s not always like that. What happened today was unfortunate, but—”
“Unfortunate?” I choked on a sob that caught me by surprise. “Today was so much more than unfortunate. Only my family and Vivian have ever seen my scars like that, and no one besides my doctors has ever touched them. Do you know how huge of an emotional step that was for me? Do you have any idea how vulnerable I was with you today? You shattered every emotional defense I had. You broke me wide open so that I was more exposed than I’ve ever been.”
“I didn’t mean to…” Brian scrambled for words. “I was just so overwhelmed by everything. I didn’t realize—” He paused a minute to steady his voice. “Ella, I am so sorry.”
I felt awful for making him feel guilty. “Please don’t apologize, Brian. Tonight you made me feel beautiful, special, and loved when I didn’t think I’d ever feel like that again. I’m grateful to you for that.
“I’m only upset because right when I felt the first real ray of hope since my accident, those camera guys came and stole it away. The first thing they asked was why you were with me, and what was wrong with me. That moment between us was one of the most beautiful and special moments of my entire life.”
Brian stepped up and wrapped his arms around me. “Mine too, Ella.”
I finally broke down into a bawling mess. “But that moment is about to be broadcast to the whole world for people to mock and judge and gossip about. My pain and suffering is about to become the nation’s entertainment. I can’t handle that, Brian. I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry.”
I broke free from his grip and looked at the security guy. “Is our car ready?”
The man glanced nervously back and forth between Brian and me, and then nodded.
“Ella, wait. Please.”
Brian tried to argue, but I quit listening. I couldn’t bear it. Juliette seemed to understand my need to get away. “Not here, okay?” she said to Brian. “You guys can figure this out, but not now. Let her call you after she’s settled down.”
“But—”
“Let her go,” she said sternly and gestured for the security man to show us to our car.