Linda lowered her head, and I think she was telling me not to elaborate too much. I bit my lip.
“Miss Farrell, why did it take you so long to come forward?”
It must seem odd to people that I hadn’t spoken out earlier, but I knew this was nothing unusual for someone who’d suffered abuse.
“I was scared. Scared for my family and scared for myself.” I ducked my head. “And I wanted him to change. I hoped he would change,” I whispered.
A tear slid down my cheek and I made no attempt to wipe it away. Admitting that was hard. After everything he had done it was hard to admit that I had still wanted him to be my dad.
“And what changed your mind?”
“I realised that it hadn’t stopped. He promised me it had when I was thirteen, and when I was sixteen he said he was taking me away on a fishing trip to make up for what happened. I believed that he wanted to make things right and move on. When Frank – Mr Glosser – turned up, I realised nothing had changed and there was no hope for him. And I couldn’t go through it again.”
Linda turned to the judge. “No further questions, Your Honour.”
As soon as I stepped outside the room, I felt a rush of oxygen fill my lungs. I closed my eyes and concentrated on relaxing my body, which was knotted with tension.
“You did great, Oakley,” Linda said softly. “I think your family are waiting for us outside the door. We’ll go out the back way again.” She squeezed the top of my arm and smiled. “You really did do well. You should be so proud of yourself.”
Proud wasn’t something I usually felt, but I did now. “Thank you. Let’s go meet them.”
I followed Linda out of the room and into the hallway. Mum, Jasper, Ali, Lizzie and my grandparents were waiting for me. Where was Cole? Even his parents and Mia were here. I stopped and tried to force a smile onto my face.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Mum grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. “You were amazing, darling. I’m so proud of you.”
“I don’t feel it,” I replied, clenching my shaking hands around her back. Jasper hugged me next, practically pulling me out of Mum’s arms. I sunk into my brother’s embrace, feeling safe and protected.
“You’re okay now,” he whispered in my ear. I was, almost. There was still one trial to go but for now I had half the weight gone from my shoulders. “Ready to get out of here?”
I pulled away and smiled in thanks. “Definitely.” I looked around and the noticed the one other person I needed to see wasn’t there. “Where’s Cole?”
“He’s outside. He needed some air,” Mum replied.
My heart stopped. He needed air? That meant he was freaking out. I should have told him everything.
“We’ll go see him now.” Mum’s arm remained around my back as we walked to the exit. Linda went out of the front so the press would think I would be following, and hopefully that would give us enough time to get out.
Jasper walked stiffly. His whole posture was tense and his jaw clenched. I knew he was struggling with what he’d heard in there. Later I would need to sit down and talk to him, apologise for the way he had found everything out, if he would even let me. Jasper was too strong for his own good. All he worried about was me and Mum. I desperately wanted him to open up to me.
Ali pushed the door open, and everyone instinctively moved closer to me, in case there was any press lurking at the exit. That was when I saw him. Cole leant against the brick wall. A deep frown dominated his face. He looked so tortured it made my heart sink.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pushed past everyone that was in between us. He looked up and pushed himself away from the wall, practically running towards me. Within seconds of us catching sight of each other, I was in his arms, being lifted up.
“Cole,” I whispered, clinging onto him.
He gripped me as if he thought he was the only thing keeping me from shattering. I finally cracked, and sobbed into his neck.
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he mumbled into my hair.
“For what?”
“For letting that happen to you. I should have known. I should have stopped it.”
I pulled back from him a few inches, enough to look directly into his eyes.
“Don’t. None of it was your fault. Cole, you were just a child yourself. Please don’t ever blame yourself.”
His eyes filled with tears, and in that moment I wanted to run back inside and tell them I had made it all up. I wanted to take it all back. I would have done anything to never see him look that painfully sad ever again. “He took pictures of you.”
I nodded slowly. “Yes, but it’s going to be okay now.”
“Okay?” he repeated.
“It has to be. I won’t be the victim any more, Cole. There are millions of people in worse situations than I was. I got out, and I survived it. I’m the one that has a future, even if they get out everyone will know what they did.”