“Good choice.”
Cole held the dull red door open, and I walked inside. He wasn’t joking; it was crappy. The patchy magnolia paint had started peeling off the walls, and the white blinds were turning a light yellow. Four rows of dated metal tables and chairs stretched from one side of the room to the other. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to sit down.
“Want a hot chocolate?” Cole asked, leading me to a table in the corner. Most tables were empty. Only a few people were dotted around, sipping tea and coffee from chipped mugs.
“Is that a good idea?” I asked him. I had no problem with going somewhere cheap and cheerful, but I at least wanted to drink from a clean cup.
“I’ve been here before, and it’s not done me any harm.”
I arched my eyebrow sceptically. Cole shook his head and pointed to the chair.
“Sit and behave.”
I did as he said and watched him walk to the counter to order. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was that we were friends again. Being back was hard but Cole made it so much easier.
He returned to the table and sat opposite me. His face turned serious, and I knew the messing around and teasing had stopped for now.
“So… how are you really feeling about it all?”
I shrugged. “I’m honestly not sure. Everything’s a little hazy. One minute I really want to do it in person and the next I just want to run away. I’ve gone back and forth so much I feel dizzy.”
“You don’t have to, you know? I’m sure they’ll let you do it by video or whatever here.”
“They probably would.” I nodded. “But then I wouldn’t have faced them.”
“You want to?” he asked. His eyebrows raised in shock.
“Yes. I don’t expect anyone to understand, but I want to look them in the eye and show them they haven’t won. I want to watch as they’re taken away to prison, hopefully for the rest of their lives. I think then I’ll be able to move on properly.”
Cole didn’t say anything. He stared at me, making me feel uncomfortable.
“What?”
“You’re amazing, Oakley.”
“See that’s what you should say to the ladies,” I joked, hoping it would lighten the mood.
Cole grinned. “Yeah but I would have gotten a slap for calling them the wrong name.”
I laughed for a second; until his serious expression returned.
“I’m serious though. I don’t know how you do it.”
“I don’t have any other choice,” I answered honestly. “I want my life back. They took so much away from me, my childhood, my innocence, even my voice. There’s no way I’m letting them have my future too.”
Our drinks slammed down on the table. I jumped in surprise, having not even seen the waitress approach. She nodded and walked off.
“Thanks,” Cole mumbled under his breath sarcastically, before adding, “Do you think you’ll be okay seeing them again?”
“Not really. The thought of seeing them, seeing Frank’s empty, beady eyes especially, makes me sick.”
Cole balled his hands into fists, his knuckles turned white and his jaw tensed. Maybe saying this to him wasn’t a good idea?
“Do you want to talk about something else?” I asked, staring down at my steaming mug of hot chocolate. Making him feel ill was the last think I wanted.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his arm reach across the table and then it covered mine. I looked up and smiled.
“We can talk about this whenever you want,” he replied.
I knew he was telling the truth. He would let me talk, and he would listen, but I could tell he didn’t really want to. I couldn’t blame him. If it was the other way around I wouldn’t want to hear it either.
“I’ll always be here for you.”
Always couldn’t happen though. We didn’t have an always – once the trial was over with, I’d be back in Australia and we’d have a world between us again. Smiling at him, I squeezed his hand.
“Thank you. They’re going to be there too. Mum and Jasper are going to watch me give evidence.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“No. They don’t know everything, not all the details. I don’t want them to know all of that.”
The statements I had given the police revealed absolutely every last disgusting detail. It was torture reliving those eight years of hell, and I was not looking forward to doing it all over again, especially in front of my family.
Cole sucked air in through his teeth, the hand that wasn’t wound around mine clenched back into a fist. He looked like he was going to explode.
“Right. I didn’t think about that. Do you… Do you want to talk about that with me?”
He looked absolutely terrified that I would say yes.
I shook my head. “No.” There was no way I was going to talk about it with him. Even him knowing it happened was too much. “I just wish it was over already.”
“So do I.”
I also didn’t want it to be over. Leaving Cole and returning to Australia left me with a heavy heart. Hurting him all over again was the last thing in the world I wanted.