CHAPTER 26
After my woodland excursion, I spent the rest of the day with Nanny MacMillan, preparing ointments, hanging herbs to
dry, and stocking up on bandages. Every now and then we looked in on Fingal and his wound, but the old laird was well
enough to not take the old nanny’s scolding and lecturing anymore.
Right now, he was slamming shut the door to his chambers and bolting it from the inside. He had threatened to have Nanny
put in chains if she kept insisting on allowing him only chicken broth and oatmeal. And that was when Nanny MacMillan
fled his room, skirts billowing behind her, causing Fingal to jump from his bed and brace himself against the old lady’
s return. And so, the door was closed. When he turned around, he noticed me and gave me a conspiratorial wink.
“Lassie, I almost forgot about you. That woman clearly needs a man who can tan her hide from time to time. Honestly, I
think she saves all her screams and shouts for me.”
I kept my eyes firmly on the ground because the mighty clan chief stood before me wearing nothing but a shirt. Luckily
his shirttails were long enough to hide all of the important parts.
“I’m sorry to disagree, milord, but I spent almost the entire day with her, and I can assure you from personal
experience that she’s letting everybody else have it exactly the same way.”
“Really? Well, I always assumed it must be a sign of affection if she’s giving me a good talking to.”
I chuckled.
“I don’t think so, milord. She’s been scolding me all day today—and she doesn’t even know me,” I said, trying to
disprove his affection theory.
“Or”—he raised his index finger high up in the air—“I’m right. After all, it’s not really that hard to be fond of
you.”
Was he trying to tell me that he liked me?
He grinned when he saw my baffled expression.
“Samantha, dear. Don’t look at me like that. I know our families don’t exactly get along, but there are bad people
everywhere.” He put on his plaid and rummaged for his belt. I grabbed it from the back of his chair and handed it to
him, waiting for him to continue.
“So are good people.”
He locked eyes with me.
“Did you know the arrow probably came from a mercenary? A soldier for hire? Who do you think pays for men to
destabilize our borders? Our enemies? Or perhaps the English who are afraid of another Jacobite uprising? I’m telling
you like it is: I’m tired of fighting. This feud between the Stuarts and the Camerons has been a thorn in my side for a
long time. An alliance among our three families would be to the benefit of everyone, don’t you think?”
My knees went soft, and my mind went into overdrive. Was this possible? Was it possible that history was being written
right here and now? Payton had never breathed much about the time before Vanora’s curse, but I knew that the terrible
massacre on the clan of my Cameron ancestors had something to do with an old blood feud between them and the Stuarts.
I needed air, and so I stepped over to the window and opened it. I took a deep breath, palms sweaty. This was so screwed
up! I cursed my own lack of insight. Why had Payton never talked about what happened before Vanora spoke her curse?
He probably felt guilty, blamed himself, and didn’t want to hurt me by telling me that he had killed in his previous
life. That he had murdered my ancestors. And now? Now it was too late. I couldn’t ask him. I didn’t know what to do,
what I could do to save him and all those he loved. Was it even possible to save them all? How had everything started?
Like this? With Fingal wanting peace?
“Lassie, are you not well?” he asked, and walked over to me. “You look pale. Here, take a sip.” He pressed his cup
against my lips, and I obeyed. I was slowly getting used to the taste and the warming, soothing effect of whiskey. Age
limits didn’t seem to matter much in the eighteenth century. Fingal tied the white hair on the back of his neck
together and pinned the brooch to his plaid before facing me again.
“I will attain this peace—and you are going to help me,” he explained matter-of-factly, holding his hand out to me.
“Me? What…How can I possibly help you?”
He led me to the door and released me into the hallway, where Payton was already waiting for me.
“Well, Samantha, I’m going to tell you very soon. But first I need to discuss a matter with Blair,” he explained,
saying good-bye.
Payton grabbed my hand as the door closed behind us.
“What does he need to discuss with Blair?” he asked, pulling me after him.
“What are we doing? Where are we going?”
He wasn’t taking me back to my room, that much I could tell.
“You’ll see. So, what does he need to discuss with Blair?”
“No idea. He thinks I can help him ensure peace between the clans. Besides, you were right. The arrows really—”
“Came from mercenaries, I know. Sean found out from a maidservant in Kilerac who is very fond of him. She told him that
a group of men were drinking and celebrating in her father’s village inn, and they drunkenly bragged about getting paid
for stealing. She could have sworn that their arrows were outfitted with metal tips.”
A narrow, winding staircase lay before us, and Payton grabbed me firmer by the hand so that I wouldn’t trip and fall on
the uneven steps. A hatch led up to the flat roof of the castle keep, and the roof itself was surrounded by high
battlements. It was the highest point in the castle, and the view was breathtaking.
“I was hoping I could show you the sunset,” Payton admitted with regret in his voice because the sun had already
disappeared behind the horizon.
It was stunning all the same. The clear night sky with its millions of stars was glorious above our heads.
“It’s fantastic,” I assured him. Suddenly feeling awkward in his company, I realized how much we had in common but
how little we really knew about each other. I looked up at the stars. We had found each other once before and fallen in
love against all odds.
I stepped closer to the parapet, feeling his body near me even though I had my back to him. This was exactly how it had
always been. Something, someone was weaving the fabric of destiny, folding my thread and Payton’s into a pattern.
“This is my favorite spot in the castle. It’s where I can think and be alone. Not many people come up here.”
I turned around self-consciously.
“Is this why you brought me here? To be…alone with me?”
Payton gave a sheepish grin as if I’d just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
“That, too,” he admitted and came closer. “But what I really wanted was to give you a gift. Problem is, I don’t
really own much a girl would enjoy. Which is why I wanted to share my favorite spot with you. As I said…I was hoping…
the sun…you know?”
I got up on tiptoes and kissed him. “It’s a wonderful gift. Thank you.”
He kissed my nose and turned me around so he could wrap his arms around me from behind.
“We might be undisturbed up here, but we’re not invisible. I don’t want to start a war just because I’m kissing the
most beautiful girl in all of Scotland.”
“Dougal said I had nothing that could please a real man,” I corrected him.
He kissed the back of my neck and whispered into my ear. “Dougal is stupid. And blind on top of it.”
His hands ran across my stomach as he pulled me closer. I could feel his heart beat faster when his tongue traced the
outline of my ear.
When I gasped for breath, he let out a throaty laugh that melted my insides. Then he pointed at the horizon.
“Over there, that bright spot, that’s Castle Galthair. And that shimmering line, that’s a small river indicating the
border between the land of the Stuarts and the McLeans.”
“And that?” I pointed far to the north, where I noticed the dark outline of a stronghold against the starlit sky.
“Don’t you recognize it? That’s Castle Coulin—Cameron territory. Your people.”
Of course he’d expect me to recognize the castle of the Camerons—I was one of them, after all.
“Payton, I have to tell you something. I can’t stop what is about to happen from happening, but I still have to warn
you.” I looked at him imploringly. I had to somehow get him to believe me. “There’s going to be an awful, awful
battle. A battle that will cost many lives. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, or if I’m still going to be here.
”
“A battle? What do you mean?”
“I can’t tell you, Payton. I’m afraid of what might happen.…”
“Afraid? Of what?”
“My world…I…the future…I might jeopardize everything, and I can’t risk it. I don’t belong here, but if my world
stops to exist in the future because…,” I said, starting to stammer again, “well, if I intervene and stop things from
happening…then how can I ever get back? How can I ever save you?”
“Calm down, Sam. I don’t understand what you’re telling me, but I do trust you.”
Payton was trying to comfort me, but he only increased my feelings of shame and guilt. I knew what was about to happen
to him and his family, and yet I was doing nothing to stop it. He shouldn’t trust me! I was such a coward and liar! But
although I knew, I just could not act against my conviction. I turned around.
“Promise me something,” I said, hoping to lessen those awful feelings of guilt and help him accept his fate. “Promise
me that you’ll take care of yourself, that you won’t blame yourself for things that cannot be changed. I can tell you
this much: You will achieve forgiveness in the future when you least expect it, and you will get your chance to make
amends. Promise me that you won’t lose hope.” I ran my fingers over his cheek and the fresh scar on his chin. “It
will change you, it will take away your smile, it will make your soul freeze…but it won’t break you, Payton. I will
save you. Don’t ever forget that.”
I touched his lips and kissed him very gently. His kiss tasted salty. “I love the man you will become, Payton, but I
wish I had the courage and strength to spare you this fate.” I sobbed against his chest, and he stroked my back as my
tears flowed freely onto his shirt.
“Sam. I’m not afraid of my fate. It has led you to me, and—whatever it may have in store for me—I accept it
willingly as the price to pay for your love.”
“I just hope you won’t wake up one day and think that the price was too high,” I whispered.
The warmth of his body soothed my aching soul, and his scent stirred in me an urgent desire to be close, to be intimate.
“Let’s go inside. It’s getting cold, and you’re shivering,” Payton determined, and pointed at the hatch. He let me
go first and helped me on the way down. Then he escorted me back to the section of the castle where all the bedchambers
were. We turned a corner, and Payton peered around before opening a door and quickly pulling me into the dark room with
him.
“Your chambers,” I said without hesitation. I didn’t need to ask because I recognized the room even in the pale
moonlight, with its green tapestries barely contrasting against the backdrop of the bare stone walls. I had already
spent a night in here. In a different century, sure, but with the same man by my side.
“Yes…but how…?”
“A wild guess,” I replied, because I felt that any further explanation would be too hard to take in. “Why did you
bring me here?” My heart beat faster, and I couldn’t help but glance over at the ebony-colored bed, the heavy brown
bed curtains, the wide, straw-filled mattress…
Payton looked past me, seemingly nervous.
“I’ve spent all day thinking about you.”
He looked at me, no longer trying to hide the fire in his eyes. “I’ve been trying to picture what it would be like…”
He walked over to the table and lit a candle. Then another, and another. I held my breath. Slowly he walked toward me,
coming closer, closer. I retreated until I felt the door against my back. His hands took mine and lifted them above my
head. He held them prisoner while caressing my ears with his lips.
“What it would be like to do this.” He leaned down and gently kissed me. “Or maybe this.” He ran his hands down my
arms, then along my neck and down to the top of my breasts, which were vaguely discernable under my low neckline. Then
he wrapped an arm around my waist and loosened the thin leather belt that held my dress.
I came undone, unable to pull away from his tender, seductive moves. But then again, I didn’t want to. I wanted his
hands against my skin, to experience his presence with all of my senses and fall into the safety of his love.
“Is this what you had in mind?”
I caressed his chest and unpinned the brooch holding his plaid together. I looked up at him, happy, smiling—an
invitation for another kiss. I didn’t need to ask twice, and while he was very gentle, I felt his hunger, his rising
desire.
“Sam?” he asked against my lips, eyes tightly pressed together. “Are you sure?”
Every flexed muscle told of his self-control as he awaited my reply.
“I love you, Payton. Please, don’t stop now.” I let my hands slide under his shirt, enjoying the pleasurable goose
bumps.
“Mo luaidh, you’re driving me crazy,” he whispered hoarsely, then lifted me up into his arms and carried me to the
bed.
When he carelessly threw his shirt to the floor, I very briefly wondered who was driving whom crazy.
Later that night we held each other in a tight embrace, and Payton played with my hair. He wrapped a strand of it around
his finger while looking at me with so much love.
“I never thought it could be that wonderful with such a skinny woman,” he said, caressing the back of my neck.
“What?” I sat up and pulled the cover to my chin.
“Nothing, my sweet Sam. You are beautiful.”
He pulled the cover off me and gently forced me back onto the mattress. Then he rolled himself on top of me. “I feel so
strong when I’m with you. You’re so delicate, so fragile. You make me want to protect you—and feed you.”
He kissed me, and I couldn’t help a smile. Yep, size zero was just a modern fad. In the eighteenth century, more really
was more.
“Victoria Beckham would be appalled to hear you say that.” I giggled, playfully biting his lip.
“Victoria who? Should I get us something to eat?” he asked, and was about to get up.
“No, please stay. Don’t leave me tonight.”
He looked me in the eye and stretched out beside me.
“As you wish, mo luaidh.”
He caressed my shoulder, continued down to my collarbone, and kept going down. My skin burned wherever he touched me,
and a pleasant tingling sensation started spreading in my belly.
“Sam? How much time do we have?”
I was barely able to follow, because his fingers were now tickling my belly button.
“Too little, Payton—far too little time to do and say everything I want to do and say.”
“But we’ve got this night, aye?”
I nodded, even though my world was melting away under Payton’s touch.
“Right,” I stammered, and wrapped my legs around him.
“Then we should make the most of it.”