My eyes close, and I drift into the strain. My mother’s face appears, then my father’s. They walk with me at the edge of a great sea, swinging me between them. Above us, the night sky gleams like polished glass, its wealth of stars reflected in the oddly still surface of the water. My toes skim the fine sand below my feet, and I feel as though I’m flying.
I understand now. Aquilla is singing me into death. She’s a Mask, after all. And it’s a sweet death. If I’d known it was this kind, I’d never have been so afraid.
The intensity of the song swells, though Aquilla keeps her voice low, as if she doesn’t want to be heard. A flash of pure fire burns into me from crown to heel, snatching me from the peace of the seashore. I open my eyes wide, gasping. Death is here, I think. This is the final pain before the end.
Aquilla strokes my hair, and warmth flows from her fingers into my body, like spiced cider on a freezing morning. My eyes grow heavy, and I close them again as the fire recedes.
I return to the beach, and this time Lis races ahead of me, her hair a blue-black banner glowing in the night. I stare at her willow-fine limbs and dark blue eyes, and I’ve never seen anything so gorgeously alive. You don’t know how I’ve missed you, Lis. She looks back at me, and her mouth moves—one word, sung over and over. I can’t make it out.
Realization comes slowly. I’m seeing Lis. But it’s Aquilla who’s singing, Aquilla who is commanding me, with just one word repeated in an infinitely complex melody.
Live live live live live live live.
My parents fade—no! Mother! Father! Lis! I want to go back to them, see them, touch them. I want to walk the night shores, hear their voices, marvel at their closeness. I reach for them, but they’re gone, and there’s only me and Aquilla and the stifling walls of my quarters. And that’s when I understand that Aquilla isn’t singing me to a sweet death.
She’s bringing me back to life.
XXXVI: Elias
The next morning at breakfast, I sit apart and speak to no one. A chill, dark fog has rolled in off the dunes, settling heavily over the city.
It matches the blackness of my mood nicely.
I’ve forgotten about the Third Trial, about the Augurs, about Helene. All I can think of is Laia. The memory of her bruised face, her broken body. I try to devise some way to help her. Bribing the head physician? No, he doesn’t have the guts to defy the Commandant. Sneaking a healer in? Who would risk the Commandant’s wrath to save a slave’s life, even for a fat purse?
Does she still live? Maybe her injuries weren’t as bad as I thought. Maybe Cook can heal her.
Maybe cats can fly, Elias.
I’m mashing my food to a pulp when Helene walks into the crowded mess hall. I’m startled at the sloppiness of her hair and the pink shadows beneath her eyes. She spots me and approaches. I stiffen and shove a spoonful of food into my mouth, refusing to look at her.
“The slave is feeling better.” She lowers her voice so the students around us can’t hear. “I...stopped by there. She got through the night. I...um... well...I...”
Is she going to apologize? After refusing to help an innocent girl who hadn’t done anything wrong except be born a Scholar instead of a Martial?
“Better, is she?” I say. “I’m sure you’re thrilled.” I get up and walk away.
Helene is stone-still behind me, as stunned as if I’ve punched her, and I feel a savage flood of satisfaction. That’s right, Aquilla. I’m not like you. I’m not going to forget her just because she’s a slave.
I send a silent thanks to Cook. If Laia survived, it’s no doubt due to the older woman’s ministrations. Should I visit the girl? What will I say? “Sorry Marcus nearly raped and killed you. Heard you’re feeling better though.”
I can’t visit her. She won’t want to see me anyway. I’m a Mask. If she hates me for that alone, it’s reason enough.
But maybe I can stop by the house. Cook can tell me how Laia’s doing.
I can take something for her, something small. Flowers? I look around the school grounds. Blackcliff doesn’t have flowers. Maybe I’ll give her a dagger.
There are plenty of those around, and skies know she needs one.
“Elias!” Helene has followed me out of the mess hall, but the fog helps me evade her. I duck into a training building, watching from a window until she gives up and goes on her way. See how she likes the silent treatment.
A few minutes later, I find myself heading to the Commandant’s house.
Just a quick visit. Just to see if she’s all right.
“Your mother hears about this, she’ll skin you alive,” Cook says from the kitchen door when I slip into the servants’ corridor. “And the rest of us too, for letting you in here.”
“Is she all right?”
“She’s not dead. Go on, Aspirant. Leave. I’m not joking about the Commandant.”
If a slave spoke like that to Demetrius or Dex, they’d backhand her. But Cook is only doing what she thinks is best for Laia. I do as she asks.
The rest of the day is a blur of failed combat battles, curt conversations, and narrow escapes from Helene. The mist gets so thick I can barely see my hand in front of my face, making training more grueling than usual. When the curfew drums beat, all I want is sleep. I head to the barracks, dead on my feet, when Hel catches up to me.
“How was training?” She appears out of the mist silently as a wraith, and despite myself, I jump.
“Splendid,” I say darkly. Of course, it wasn’t splendid, and Helene knows it. I haven’t fought so poorly in years. What little focus I recovered during last night’s battles with Hel is gone.
An Ember in the Ashes
Sabaa Tahir's books
- Isla and the Happily Ever After
- Mortal Defiance
- Atlantia
- The Tyrant's Daughter
- Fractured (Guards of the Shadowlands, Book Two)
- In the Band by Jean Haus
- More Than This
- Sanctum (Guards of the Shadowlands, Book 1)
- The Glass Magician
- The Paper Magician
- With the Band
- Four Divergent Stories: The Transfer, The Initiate, The Son, and The Traitor (Divergent Series)
- THE HOBBIT OR THERE AND BACK AGAIN
- The Hunger Games: Official Illustrated Movie Companion
- WASTELANDS(Stories of the Apocalypse)
- An Uncertain Choice
- Panic
- The Infinite Sea
- Illustrated Theory of Everythin
- Cinderella_Ninja Warrior
- Sleeping Beauty
- The Winner's Curse
- Ink My Heart (Luminescent Juliet, Book Two)
- Catching Fire
- Mockingjay
- Sea Horses: Gathering Storm
- The Princess Bride
- Cinder & Ella
- The Princess Bride
- THE LORD OF THE RINGS
- I'll Give You the Sun
- The Truth About Alice
- The Young Elites
- The Impossible Knife of Memory
- The Truth About Alice
- Breath of Yesterday (The Curse Series)
- The Curse_Touch of Eternity (The Curse series)
- The Shadows
- Wire Mesh Mothers
- The Hunger Games
- The Giver (illustrated; gift edition)
- The Maze Runner Files (Maze Runner Trilogy)
- The One
- The Belial Stone (The Belial Series)
- All the Rage
- Love Letters to the Dead
- My Life With the Walter Boys
- The Sheikh's Last Seduction
- Gilded Ashes