A Forever Love
Pamela Palmer
Chapter One
“CATCH IT, CATCH it, catch it, yes!”
Elizabeth Bryant jumped from her seat as the Washington Redskins scored on a beautiful touchdown pass in the last ten seconds of the game to win. “Hail to the Redskins!” she sang at the top of her lungs, joining her friends. At the Skins’ win, high fives exploded around the small apartment living room, followed by several victory kisses between her girlfriends and their husbands and fiancés.
Elizabeth’s date, Tim, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close, laying one on her. She stiffened before she could catch herself, then forced herself to relax and kiss him back. It wasn’t the first time they’d kissed—she’d been dating him for about a month, but the tender he-man assault was just too much like something Lukas would have done. She didn’t appreciate the attempt or the reminder. She’d belonged in Lukas’s arms. She didn’t belong in Tim’s. And the thought made her chest ache.
Pulling away, she made a quick excuse and headed for the kitchen. Damn you, Lukas Olsson. Why can’t I forget you? And she needed to forget him. Two years ago, he’d left her, suddenly, without so much as a good-bye. She should be completely over him by now. She ought to hate him.
The trouble was, deep inside, the flicker of hope that he’d someday return refused to die. Because Lukas Olsson had been full of secrets. When she’d asked what he did for a living, he’d only ever given her vague answers—the kind of answers top secret types always offered in this town. CIA. NSA. Not only was Washington, D.C., overrun by politicians; it was crawling with spies.
In the eight months she and Lukas had dated, she’d only ever seen him late at night. And while, logically, she knew that that probably meant he’d had another girlfriend, or even a wife, hidden away somewhere, and that he’d left her at the risk of getting caught, she couldn’t let go of the hope that he’d been sent on some last-minute top secret assignment that demanded communication silence, a mission that was taking longer than he’d expected. And that someday he’d waltz back into her life, sweep her into his arms, and kiss her senseless.
But with each passing month, it became harder to hold on to that hope. The likelihood that their relationship had never meant as much to him as it had to her became greater and greater. In all probability, Lukas had taken the coward’s way out and disappeared rather than facing her with that truth.
Logic said that he was gone and wasn’t coming back, and the sooner she accepted that and forgot about him, the happier she’d be. But the heart was a hopelessly illogical organ.
As she entered the kitchen, Steph caught up with her, her eyes at once sympathetic and a little frustrated.
“I thought you liked this one,” she whispered.
Elizabeth shrugged. “Tim’s a great guy.”
“But he’s not Lukas.” Steph’s warm fingers closed around her forearm. “Sweetheart, no one is ever going to be Lukas.”
Elizabeth’s lips twisted ruefully. “Trust me, I know that.” There would only ever be one Lukas Olsson. With the blond hair and blue eyes of his Nordic ancestors and the build of a linebacker . . . or Viking marauder . . . Lukas had been gorgeous in a powerful, masculine, wholly uncivilized way. And that smile of his . . . oh, that smile could whip an entire roomful of women into a frenzy of delight or jealousy, depending on who was on the receiving end.
Elizabeth sighed. “There’s no spark with Tim, and I can’t keep pretending there is.” And, Heaven help her, there’d been sparks with Lukas. Fireworks bright enough to light up the night sky.
She’d thought he adored her. He’d acted as if he adored her, as if he’d been every bit as much in love with her as she’d been with him, even if they’d never actually said the words. They’d dated, made love, and spent every night together for almost eight months.
Damn him. She knew he’d cared for her, at least a little bit. No man was that good an actor for that long. But he obviously hadn’t cared enough.
Releasing a hard sigh, she grabbed a Corona and the bottle opener.
Steph watched her open her beer, her expression soft. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but there’s more to life than sparks, sweetie. Tim’s nice, he’s good-looking, and he’s a lawyer. And let’s face it, a lawyer’s salary would go a long way toward balancing your teacher’s pay.”
Elizabeth snorted. There was that.
But as Tim walked her back to her apartment an hour later, Elizabeth knew she couldn’t see him again. They’d dated a month, and she’d put off having sex with him as long as she could. She’d already learned from experience that there was nothing lonelier in the world than sharing that ultimate intimacy with the wrong man when she knew there was a right one.
Even if, in all probability, the right one was gone from her life for good.
When Tim tried to take her hand, she feigned ignorance, and a chill she didn’t feel, and crossed her arms instead. At the base of the stairs to her apartment building, she turned to him.
Wry disappointment twisted his expression. “This isn’t working, is it?”
“I’m sorry. I like you, Tim, but . . .”
He nodded. And sighed. “I know.”
Giving in to impulse, she kissed his cheek. “You’re going to be a great catch for the right woman. I’m sorry she can’t be me.”
An hour later, ready for bed, Elizabeth eyed the drawer of her bedside table. Don’t touch it, she urged herself. Leave it alone and go to sleep. But the temptation was just too great, and she lifted out the framed picture that Steph had snapped the weekend before Lukas disappeared. With a beer in one hand, he’d pulled Elizabeth against him in that way that screamed mine. She’d looked up, laughing. And the expression on his face as he’d grinned down at her had been so full of adoration. Of love.
How could he have left her without a single word?
“Damn you, Lukas Olsson.” As she stared at his beloved face, her heart squeezed, tears burning her eyes. “Why do I still miss you so much?” She’d found that most wonderful and elusive of treasures—a forever love. Then lost it, lost him, in a haze of mystery, questions, and uncertainty.
Despite that, if she had it to do over, she wouldn’t change a thing. Knowing Lukas, loving him, even for that short time, was worth all the doubts and misery and loneliness that had followed. A loneliness, she feared, that might well last a lifetime.