Chapter Thirty-one
Dougal carried a tray of soup to Leah's dorm room on the Japanese island. She was sitting on her bed, her knees clasped to her chest, her eyes red and swollen from crying.
She didn't say a word as he approached. Refused to even look at him. At least she'd stopped screaming. The pain in her screams had torn at his heart. Even Rajiv's and Jia's rage had dissipated as Leah's screams of anguish had continued on and on.
With the battle over, some of the Vamps had teleported the were-tigers and their fallen leader back to Tiger Town. The rest of the Vamps and shifters had returned to the renovated school.
Briathos had stopped by, informing them that he would continue to monitor their situation. Darafer had been safely dispatched to hell, but if twelve of his disciples formed a ring and called for him, he might manage to escape. Briathos assured them, though, that Darafer's arrogance had most likely given him a false sense of invincibility, causing him to neglect training his followers on how to retrieve him from hell. Dougal could only hope that was true, and that they'd seen the last of the demon who had traumatized Leah.
"I brought you some soup." Dougal placed the tray on the bedside table and perched on the edge of the bed. "And some lemonade. Ye like lemonade, aye?" He handed her the glass.
She didn't look at him or take the glass.
"Leah, ye must stay strong so ye can recover."
No response.
With a sigh, he set the glass down. "Ye still have important work to do here. Abby says the serums are working and the mutated soldiers are changing back. With Darafer gone, he canna interfere. We can bring in lots of soldiers, and ye can save them."
She frowned, then asked with a voice hoarse from screaming, "How is Rajiv? And Jia?"
"They're . . . all right. They're staying strong. We all have to be strong."
A tear rolled down her cheek.
"Something a bit surprising happened," Dougal continued, trying to pique her interest. "It turns out the Grand Tiger left a will declaring Rajiv as his heir. It has all of Tiger Town worked up that the Grand Tiger bypassed his sons to choose Rajiv."
Leah blinked. "I think Rajiv would make a great leader."
"Me, too." Dougal smiled. "But I hear Tiger Town is divided on the issue. Some are saying Rajiv should be their leader because they need to follow the Grand Tiger's wishes, and Rajiv brought in allies to battle Master Han, and he killed Lord Qing. But others are saying he's too young and inexperienced, and they're angry that he brought in foreigners who caused - " He stopped when he realized where he was headed.
"Caused what?" Leah grimaced. "Caused the death of their leader? Why word it so nicely when I murdered him?"
"Leah - "
"It's true!" More tears ran down her face. "I killed him! And I would have killed you if he hadn't stepped in the way."
"I wouldna have let you kill me."
"You don't understand. I wanted to kill you!" She angrily wiped away tears. "How can you stand to look at me?"
"Ye were no' yerself. Darafer bit you, Leah. He forced evil on you. Ye had no choice - "
"Oh, the devil made me do it." She scoffed. "Where have I heard that excuse before? I'm no better than any other murderer out there."
"That is no' true! Connor called Marielle to tell her what happened, and she said ye mustna blame yerself, that no one can resist the demon bite. Pure evil was unleashed into yer bloodstream. Even the toughest of angels, the God Warriors, succumb to it. If they canna resist it, how did ye ever have a chance?"
She shook her head. "That doesn't take away the result. I killed Rajiv's grandfather. That beautiful old man is dead because I killed him! How can I live with that? Whenever I look in a mirror, all I see is a murderer!" She turned away and closed her eyes. "Leave me alone. Please."
The next evening when Dougal awoke, he rushed upstairs to see Leah. She was curled on her bed, sleeping, her hand clasping the jade dragon necklace. A tray of untouched food sat on the bedside table.
He trudged into the cafeteria to warm up a bottle of breakfast blood.
Abby was sitting with her husband and waved him over. "I'm worried about Leah," she said as he sat down. "She hasn't eaten a thing all day. And she doesn't get out of bed except to go to the restroom."
Gregori patted his wife's hand. "It's natural for her to be depressed. Maybe in time - "
"If she doesn't eat or drink, she won't have much time," Abby insisted, then turned to Dougal. "If you can't get her to eat, I'm putting an IV in her."
Dougal nodded. "I understand." He understood that he'd failed her. If he had protected her, she wouldn't be suffering now. "I looked in on her, and she was sleeping."
"Good." Abby sighed. "For hours she was having nightmares, and she kept waking up screaming."
"Maybe we should bring Olivia here," Gregori suggested. "Or Marielle. Someone who can help her get through this."
Abby's eyes glistened with tears. "I'm afraid she'll never get through it."
A few hours later, when Leah had wakened, Dougal brought her a tray of food and begged her to eat.
When she ignored him, he grew angry. "How can ye give up like this? I love you, Leah. We can have centuries together, but ye must be strong."
"I was going to kill you."
"That wasna you! Leah, I know how hard it is to live with regret and shame, but ye can do it. I've been doing it for almost three hundred years. Did I ever tell you how I escaped slavery?"
"No. What happened?" She looked at him, and he took her interest as a positive sign.
"I had my tin whistle with me, and I played it every night to comfort myself and the other slaves. What I dinna realize was that the master's daughter was outside my hut every night listening. Then one night, I heard crying, and I looked out the window and saw her. I thought she was a servant girl, so I talked to her. She came every night, and we talked."
"She was your first and only love," Leah whispered.
"My first. After a few years, she figured out a way to save me. When we were running to the harbor, I told her I was afraid my brand would label me as a runaway slave and get us both into trouble. It was her idea for me to get the tattoo to cover the brand. The next morning, she paid a ship to take me on as it was leaving port. I wanted to stay with her forever, but she knew her father would never accept me. I promised to make a fortune and return for her as a man worthy of her. I told her I would find her again. No matter what. I would find her again if it took a thousand years. I spent a few years pirating and amassed some wealth, but when I went back for her, she'd been sent away, forced to marry against her will."
"So you lost her?"
Dougal shook his head. "She was being sent to her new husband on a boat going up the Yangtze River. I followed after her, and I had almost caught up with her. I could see her boat, but then a storm blew in, and her boat capsized. I dove in to save her, but I was too late." He looked away with tears in his eyes. "I failed her. She saved me from slavery, and I failed her."
Leah frowned. "The storm killed her. Not you."
"If I had never left her, she would have lived. Or if I had returned just a day earlier, she would have lived."
"It's not the same," Leah insisted. "You didn't kill her. I did kill."
"It is the same. Darafer's evil possessed you and forced you. It was beyond yer control, just like a storm. Ye canna blame yerself."
She turned away. "Darafer told me about her, that she was your one and only love."
"I love you, Leah."
She scowled at him. "You said it yourself, that you'd waited three hundred years, that you wouldn't lose me again. I'm just a replacement. A cheap copy of the girl you loved three hundred years ago."
"Nay! Leah, ye're different. If some part of Li Lei's soul has found a way to come back to me, then it isna something ye're aware of. It doesna make you who ye are. Ye've accomplished things that Li Lei could never imagine. There's no one like you."
Her eyes narrowed. "Why would you think she's in me?"
"Her father was a merchant. The family name was Ka, which means merchant. Her name was Ka Li Lei. And ye're Galileah."
She flinched. "It's just a strange coincidence. I can't be her."
"It doesna matter to me. Ye're still Leah, and I love you as ye are. Ye're strong and brave and the most brilliant woman I've ever met. How could I no' love you?"
Her face crumpled. "But you fell for me because of her. You were waiting three hundred years for a replacement."
Dammit. He shouldn't have told her about Li Lei. He had thought sharing his story of regret and shame would comfort her and let her know she wasn't alone, but it had only made things worse.
Tears filled his eyes. "I waited three hundred years for a chance to love again, and it is you I love, Leah. How can I prove to you that I love you? Ye are the one I want for the rest of my life."
She turned away, a tear running down her face. "How can you want me? I'm a killer. I tried to kill you."
"Leah, please. Doona give up on yerself."
"Leave me alone. Please."
When she continued to ignore him, Dougal strode from the room, ready to hit something. He charged outside and saw Briathos standing on the bluff, looking at the sea.
"Why were you so slow?" Dougal demanded. "If you had dispatched Darafer to hell just a few seconds earlier, then his hold on Leah would have been broken, and she wouldna have killed!"
Briathos regarded him sadly, then turned to look at the sea once more.
"Do ye know how much she's suffering?" Dougal asked. The cold wind whipped at his face, making his eyes tear up. "She wants to die! Do ye even care?"
"Of course I care." Briathos sighed. "You may question what if for hours, but a truth remains that cannot be avoided." He faced Dougal. "When a child of God is consumed with evil, there is always a price to pay."
"She dinna ask for evil!"
"She was consumed nonetheless. The price must be paid." He wavered, then disappeared.
Dougal stood there, watching the waves crash on the shore. A price must be paid.
His eyes stung with tears. She was suffering so much. He couldn't bear to watch it. And now she even doubted that he loved her. How could he prove he loved her? How could he ease her suffering?
He could pay the price for her.
The idea flickered in his mind, and with desperation, he latched on to it and let it grow. It was in his power to take the pain away from her.
He strode into the school and headed for the lab. Laszlo and Gu Mina were seated together at his worktable, and Abby and Gregori were at her table.
Abby sat up. "Did you get her to eat?"
"Nay."
Abby exchanged a look with her husband. "What can we do? I'm afraid she's suicidal."
"Doona fash. I have a plan." Dougal took a deep breath. "I will erase all her memories of China. 'Twill be like she was never there. She will remember only the good progress ye're making here. But ye all must play along. Pretend she was never in China."
Gregori frowned. "That seems a bit extreme."
Abby touched his arm. "We have to do something."
"It is the only way." Dougal's heart squeezed in his chest. She wouldn't remember their night of lovemaking in Tiger Town. She wouldn't know that she'd agreed to marry him. How could he erase bits and pieces of their relationship? The holes left behind would make her suspicious.
The solution hit him like a battle-axe, and he stumbled back. The only way to protect her was to make a clean sweep. No memories of China, and no memories of him. She wouldn't suffer from the humiliation of feeling like a replacement. She would simply complete her job here, then return home to Houston, happy and proud that she'd accomplished something good.
She would be free from pain. He would take all her suffering away and heap it on himself. He would pay the price.
"I'll erase myself," he whispered.
Abby gasped.
Laszlo frowned. "Surely that is going too far."
Dougal shook his head. "It is the only way I can protect her."
He trudged down the hall and entered her dorm. She was still in bed, refusing to look at him.
He sat on the edge of her bed, his heart breaking. He would have to lose her in order to save her.
His eyes burned with tears. "I will find you again. No matter what. If it takes another three hundred years. Or a thousand years. I will find you."
She looked at him. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Aye." He placed his hand on her forehead, slipped into her mind, and began erasing.