chapter Sixteen
THE TAO OF SAXON
WYATT had seen a lot in his lifetime. What he never would have expected to see was Stella rolling around on the floor of a bar in the throes of a full-blown girl fight.
He stopped in the doorway of the bar, so astonished that he couldn’t even react. “What . . .”
Peter the bartender was coming out from behind the bar, cursing. “God, I hate this shit. I hate drunks. I hate women. I hate my job.”
This was so unlike Stella, that Wyatt still stood there, wondering if Stella had a doppelganger. She tossed the woman off of her with a fair amount of restraint for a vampire, but with way more anger and intensity than he would expect from Stella. Stella was calm. Stella took care of everyone else. Stella did not fight with anyone. Except maybe with him. But that was only in the last few days.
Stella was half up off the floor when the woman launched herself at Stella again with a growl. There was a lot of hair flying, screaming, and fistfuls of T-shirt as they slammed back onto the ground.
Peter pulled the blonde off Stella, who hissed and kicked like a cat.
Wyatt finally got his head out of his ass and moved forward to help Stella up. Only she kicked out at him. “Get away from me, you lying sack of shit!”
Uh. Now what? Wyatt stared down at her, speechless. Where was the woman who had kissed him so tenderly on the street an hour ago?
“What are you doing?” he asked her. “I told you to stay at Famous Door. I was worried about you.”
“Worried you were going to get caught in your lies.” Stella sprang up off the floor, swiping her hair off her face, and adjusting her purse. After patting her pocket to reassure herself something was there, she glared at him. “How could you?”
“If I knew what I supposedly did, maybe I could answer that a little better.”
Her reply was a snort of disgust. Wyatt didn’t know if she would have expanded on that or not because the other woman suddenly darted around him and took a swipe at Stella.
“She’s loose! Grab her!” Peter said. “I’m calling the cops. I’m not paid to deal with women fighting over a dude.”
They were fighting over a dude? Wyatt caught the blonde as she hurtled past him and lifted her up so that her feet dangled uselessly.
“Put me down!”
“Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?” Wyatt said, exasperated. Fortunately, his vampire strength allowed him to hold the woman with ease, but she was still getting a kick in on his shins every other second and he was not enjoying it. He turned her to the side a little so he could see Stella better.
“She was wearing Johnny’s necklace. She says you gave it to her.”
Wyatt stared at her blankly. She looked spitting mad. He had no idea what she was talking about. “I never had Johnny’s necklace. I left it on the counter of his apartment.”
“That’s what you said. But why did she have it then?” Stella pulled the necklace out of her front pocket and held it up in front of him.
It was definitely Johnny’s necklace. There couldn’t be two of them. What the hell?
“I had it because Wyatt gave it to me!” This was from the dangling woman.
Wyatt dropped her to the ground so he could take a good look at her face. He knew her vaguely. “Karen?”
“Yes, Karen, you asshole. Don’t even stand here and try to tell me you don’t remember last night.”
Actually, he did not remember last night at all. A sick, horrible feeling started to twist in his gut. He wouldn’t have. He couldn’t have. Not even drunk or drugged or whatever the hell he had been last night. He wouldn’t have cheated on Stella. Because in his mind that’s what it would have been, even if they didn’t have any real understanding of what was going on between them. He wanted to be with Stella. He wouldn’t have been with Karen.
He was almost 100 percent sure of it. Ninety-nine, at the very least.
Oh, God.
“Maybe we should go discuss this somewhere else.”
“Yes, please, do.” Peter rolled his eyes.
“No. There is nothing to discuss. You suck and I want you to die.” Stella turned to Peter. “What’s my tab?” she said with great dignity.
“Don’t worry about it,” Peter told her.
But she still dug in her purse and threw a ten down on the bar. Then shifting her shoulder so she wouldn’t touch Wyatt or Karen, she stomped past with her chin up, tugging the bottom of her T-shirt down.
“Stella . . .” Wyatt pleaded, but she ignored him.
“The necklace,” Karen sputtered.
“Let it go,” Wyatt said in a low voice. “It really does belong to her.”
The words gave Stella pause, but Saxon appeared in the doorway. She went to him, took his hand like he was her eight-year-old son, and said, “Come on, let’s go.”
Saxon frowned, but he went with her.
Wyatt was left to face his mistakes, whatever those might be. “Sorry about that,” he told Karen. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Sure.” She sat down on a stool and smoothed her hair. “The skinny bitch is stronger than she looks.”
Karen had no idea how strong Stella could be. Wyatt was grateful she was enough in control of herself to not hurt Karen, but other than that, he wasn’t grateful for much. “She’s grieving, you know. It’s only been a couple of days since she lost Johnny.”
“I get that. But if that necklace wasn’t yours to give away, why did you?”
Hell if he knew. Wyatt sighed, putting his feet on the rungs of the stool he was sitting on. “The thing is, Karen, I got loaded at Johnny’s wake last night. I don’t remember much after we left the boat. So I can’t really say as to why I would do that.”
“You don’t remember last night? Seriously? Well, that’s a little insulting.”
The sick sensation in his gut started to crawl up his throat. “Did we, uh, do anything that I should know about?”
Karen blinked at him. “Like what?”
She was going to make him spell it out. “Did we have sex?”
Now she looked aghast. “What kind of a slut do you take me for? Good Lord, we just hung out and had a couple of drinks. You at least need to buy me dinner if you want in my pants.”
Relief coursed through him. He hadn’t thought he would, but then again, he had never blacked out before either. “I wasn’t saying, I mean definitely I would buy you dinner, not that I would ever hit on you. I mean . . .” Wyatt clamped his mouth shut and regrouped his thoughts. “I’m glad to hear I wasn’t a total jackass, unlike right now.”
“You don’t remember anything, huh? I didn’t think you were that drunk, but then again, what do I know? Some people hide it well and I haven’t spent a lot of time with you.”
Now that the air was cleared on that potential disaster, his thoughts were wandering back to the matter at hand—Stella was pissed at him. Rightly so. Why had he had Johnny’s necklace? It hadn’t been in his apartment, he was sure of it. “In what context did I give you that necklace? And by the way, I’m sorry for dragging you into anything with Stella. It’s totally my fault and I can’t explain what I thought I was doing since I don’t even remember it.” That was definitely frustrating.
“It wasn’t that big of a deal. You were wearing it and I complimented it. Said it was cool. And then you asked me if I wanted it.”
That was just stupid. Wyatt shook his head. “Again, I’m sorry. I had no right to give that necklace away. Seems my head was really up my ass last night.”
Now he needed to go and explain to Stella. Beg for forgiveness.
Wyatt sighed.
“It’s okay. Happens to the best of us.” Karen lit her cigarette and took a hefty drag. “Can’t say I won’t hold that against Stella for a while though, grieving or not. She went batshit crazy on me.”
“Speaking of Stella, I really should go check up on her. Apologize. Make sure she’s okay.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Karen waved. “Good luck. You’re going to need it.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Wyatt stood up and paid for Karen’s drink. He left Peter a large tip to compensate for the disturbance. “Have a good night, Karen.”
“Always do.”
Wyatt went off in search of absolution.
And flowers. Women liked flowers.
But he had a feeling it was going to take a hell of a lot more than a crappy bunch of hot pink carnations from Rouses Market to fix this mess.
So he got daisies, too.
* * *
“LYING, JERKFACE, SHITHEAD, asshole, cocksucking loser,” Stella ranted as she tromped down Conti, dragging Saxon behind her. “I cannot believe he gave that person my brother’s necklace. I wonder if it was before or after he fucked her.” The thought of which made her want to pick up a car and hurl it all the way to the river.
It was safe to say she had never been this furious in her entire life. Or hurt, damn it.
Even when the Chicago banker had thrown her over for the heiress it hadn’t felt like this—a searing stabbing sensation in her heart. A punch to the gut. A kick to the knees. A blow to the lungs, driving all breath out of her and replacing it with shock and agony.
“I mean, we had sex two nights ago, then tonight. How could he have sex with her last night, in between when we had sex? That makes her the meat of his sexual sandwich. I was just the bun, the dry, unpalatable bun. No one really wants the bread. It just holds everything else all together.” Stella paused at the corner, not really sure where she was going. She was just going.
“You’re hurting my hand.”
“I am not,” she snapped at Saxon. She stared at the keyboardist, her chest heaving, tears in her eyes. “Why would he do that?”
Saxon shook his head. “Maybe he’s building a mystery.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Wyatt had sex with Karen.”
“Who’s Karen?”
“The woman in there. She works at Famous Door. He had sex with her.”
“Why would he do that? Anybody can see that he’s crazy about you.”
That was a little balm to her ego. “Well, obviously not that crazy about me if he could have sex with someone else in between having sex with me.” The tears were going for real this time. Stella’s voice started to crack. “I forced him to have sex with me, didn’t I? I was a pity fuck because I threw myself at him and my brother had just died so he felt sorry for me.”
A couple of girls walking by stared at her and whispered behind their hands. Great. She’d become one of those people who dissolve into drama on the street.
“Come here. Let’s go somewhere and sit down. Somewhere with waffles.” Saxon turned around and retraced their steps.
Stella dug her heels in. “No! We can’t go back that way. Wyatt will see me.”
“Okay, we’ll go around the block. But we’re going to Déjà Vu and we’re going to have waffles with blood syrup. The waitress there makes it for me all the time.”
That sounded like vomit on a plate to her, but Stella allowed herself to be led. It was better than crying in front of every man, woman, and vagrant on the street. “What is blood syrup?”
“It’s just blood. The waitress there is a vampire. She tells people it’s boysenberry so the mortals don’t freak.”
“Oh.” Stella shuffled along behind Saxon, feeling like complete and utter shit. “I want to go home. I want to cry in my pillow.”
“The last thing you need is to be alone, and I want waffles. I know you old folks don’t understand why I dig eating food still, but it’s comforting. Like eating makes me feel that nothing changes, man. You know what I mean?”
She nodded. She did. Vampires hung on to odd remnants of their mortal lives. Stella had hung on to her brother. Now he was gone. She was alone. Just like she had told Wyatt.
Saxon walked in long, loping steps. He reminded her of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Though he didn’t wear bell bottoms. Her short legs struggled to keep up with his lanky strides. “Slow down, I’m petite.”
“You’re a runt,” he told her good-naturedly.
“Thanks.” Was this helping her? Was this him cheering her up, or making her want to stab herself repeatedly? “I think I’m going to get a cab and go home.” Her anger seemed to have deflated and in its place, she felt exhausted. Weepy. Bruised.
“No. I forbid it.”
Stella was so stunned, she paused outside the diner. “You forbid it? Is that something you picked up from your dom?”
“Hey, don’t bring her into this. That’s of a delicate and private nature, you know.”
She didn’t know anything. “Are you really like a genius who just has us all fooled or are you actually this random?”
“I’m guessing the second one.” He pulled open the door and hit his shoe with it.
Yeah, she was, too. “Why can’t I go home?” she whined. And why was she staying? It wasn’t like he could really stop her. But for some reason, she went in with him.
Maybe she didn’t really want to face the emptiness of her apartment just yet. Maybe she didn’t want to feel the loneliness that was bound to wash over her like a tsunami. Eternity was a long time, people. She didn’t want to go through it solo. Let it start tomorrow night. Tonight she was going to sit across the table from Saxon and pretend the last forty-eight hours hadn’t happened.
Saxon placed his order with the dark-haired vampire waitress. She offered Stella a glass of juice with a wink when she declined the waffles. “Sure, thanks.”
The seat was sticky. The floor was sticky. The air was sticky. Saxon’s thumbs drummed on the tabletop.
“So you and Wyatt finally did the dirty, huh?”
“Yes. Yes, we did.” Stella pictured riding him, the way he had penetrated her deep and thoroughly. This wasn’t helping her forget the last few days. “But never again, because apparently he just felt sorry for me and he much prefers Karen.”
Saxon’s hand came out. He held up his left hand. “Okay, like this is the information you have. And like this is where you’re going with it.” He jerked his arm way to the right. “There’s all this space in between, man. You got to fill in the gaps before you send him packing.”
She got what he was trying to say, but her battered ego and shattered heart protested. If she went digging for answers, she might hear even more things she didn’t want to. “Here is the one indisputable fact we have. He gave Karen my brother’s necklace. After lying to me and telling me he didn’t have it. That is seriously not cool.”
“Weird shit went down last night. Who knows? Maybe he didn’t know he had it. Maybe he didn’t have it.”
“Now you’re just reaching.” Stella played with a pack of sugar that was on the table, flicking it back and forth. “Why was he with Karen?”
“Look, I don’t mean to be like rude or whatever, but you said you had sex with Wyatt. So did you tell him you care about him? Did you guys say you were like in a relationship or whatever?”
A flush creeped up her neck. “No, not exactly.” She had mostly run away.
“Cuz he’s been digging on you for a long time and it’s like a vulnerable thing for a dude to go there with his fantasy chick. If he didn’t say anything about you dating or whatever it’s probably because he was waiting for you to say something.”
“Well . . .” She bit her lip, squirming in the plastic booth. “He did suggest that maybe we could date. And that he loved me.”
Saxon shot her his hang-loose sign. “Cool. What did you say?”
“I think I just ran away. Then the next night I yelled at him and told him there was no ‘us.’” A strange pit had lodged itself in her throat. “It’s my fault, isn’t it? I sent him into the arms of another woman.”
“Maybe,” Saxon agreed. “But don’t leap to the clouds just yet.”
“What?” She assumed he meant conclusions.
Saxon continued without pause. “And that doesn’t mean you can’t work it out.”
“But the necklace . . .” she protested weakly, starting to realize that Saxon was actually making sense.
Making a pfft sound with his lips, Saxon shook his head. “We were all drunk as skunks last night. Wyatt put on a corset. I rode a bull. We probably would have given away a baby if we’d had one. You can’t put any stock in what happened last night.”
She was starting to doubt herself. But one thing she didn’t doubt. “Being drunk does not make cheating okay.”
“But you told him you weren’t in a relationship, so that is not cheating. And come on, what does every man do when the woman he loves tells him to buzz off? He gets drunk and fucks somebody else. It’s a fact.”
“That’s a grim fact.” The scary thing was, she knew he was right. It didn’t make it any less wrong or any less difficult to swallow, but Saxon had a point. She had screwed up first by not telling Wyatt her own feelings. She hadn’t even asked him for time, for them to take it slow. She’d just freaked out.
“So’s murder.”
“What?” Stella frowned.
“Murder is a grim fact.”
“What does murder have to do with sex?”
“Sex, lies, and murder.”
He’d lost her, but fortunately she was spared from having to respond by the waitress setting down Wyatt’s waffle and her glass of blood. She was thirsty. That hangover had a wicked hold on her. She sipped while Saxon chewed, as she mulled over everything that had happened. She sifted through the facts and speculation, worrying her bottom lip. There seemed to be very little they knew 100 percent other than what Saxon had said—he’d ridden a bull and Wyatt had worn a corset. There was one other fact that just occurred to her though.
“How are you going to pay for this?” she asked him. “You told me you were broke.”
Saxon gave her a sheepish grin. “I was kinda hoping you’d treat me. You know, for being your shoulder to cry on.”
That so did not surprise her. “What if I don’t have any money on me? How could you be so sure?”
He shrugged. “Because you’re you. You’re organized. There is no way you’re out for the night without cash and a credit card in your wallet.”
Saxon knew her well. She liked to be prepared. “Fine, I’ll pay. And thanks for the advice.” Frankly, he had talked her out of violence. She could buy him a waffle for that.
“No problem. You going to find Wyatt and talk to him? ’Cause that’s like the mature thing to do, you know.”
Saxon throwing maturity in her face was quite a cruel irony, but she couldn’t argue with him. “Yes, I’m going to talk to him. Now stop chewing with your mouth full and get your elbows off the table.”
“Yes, Mom.”
That felt better. More normal. She sipped her drink and tried to think of what to say to Wyatt.
“Bite me” might be a good place to start.