Twenty-Nine
Ava
We have the funeral that weekend. I had no idea how many people Mom knew, or knew her. It is all a blur, and to be honest I didn't want to remember it anyway.
Peter is there the whole time, standing beside me, holding my hand, trying to take my pain. It's too much for both of us.
Dad isn't doing well, but Aj has sort of moved in with us to help with everything. It seems like there are a lot of things to be done when someone dies. Paperwork, bills, things to be changed, and lawyers and wills.
I find the box Mom told me about in her closet. There is a note on top with my name on it. I take it to my room, but I can't open it. Maybe someday I will be able to, but I'm not ready yet. I still can't believe that she's gone. The house is too quiet. It doesn't feel like home without her.
I keep forgetting, thinking that she's just at work, or out with the girls, and hasn't come home yet. I feel like I'm constantly waiting for her to come back. But she doesn't.
Tex and Viktor are over a lot, and Dad doesn't really seem to care that I have both Peter and Viktor over. Jamie is there a lot, too, always trying to cheer me up. I ask him if he's heard from Brooke, but he hasn't.
The night after the funeral, I have the burning dream again, and I wake up screaming.
“Shh, I'm here.”
“You have to change me, Peter. You have to.”
“Okay. We will have to make arrangements.”
So we do. We spend the rest of the night thinking logistics. I think back to what Mom said. I do want to spend my eternity with Peter. I'm going to become immortal and then we're going to find a way to take care of Di, with or without Helena. And then Peter and I are going to share our eternity together. If there's anyone who can make sure that it happens, it's my mother.
I plan to spend the following weekend with Tex. I know she'll work as my alibi. As soon as I recover, I'll go home and Peter will help me adjust. I do worry that I will want to kill my father, but I have been dealing with that for a while, and I haven't done it yet. I will cross that bridge when I get there.
Peter
It will be done. She will be mine. I will take her soul. I think about what it will be like, to carry something that precious. I don't want to be responsible for something that precious, but she has asked, and I promised.
Rasha and Kamir leave Ava a note, saying how sorry they are for her loss. She tosses it in the trash, but I retrieve it and save it. She might not want it now, but she will.
We don’t hear from Helena for two days, and Ava starts to worry.
“What if she changed her mind?” Her eyes are permanently red and puffy from crying. We're in her bed, lying as close as two people can be.
“We have to believe that she won't.”
She turns her face up for a kiss. “I love you,” she says. “Thank you for not being responsible and saying that I shouldn't want to make a decision like being immortal at a time like this.”
“I adore you,” I say.
She sits up, looking at my face. “What is it?”
“I am not sure.” Something has come over me, much like when Ava's feelings overcome me. Except, this isn't hers. It's something big and bright, and it hurts and it feels wonderful and astonishing and new and old and...
Ava
He pauses for a moment and I seize him, expecting him turn to ash in my bed.
“I. Love. You.” He says it slowly and deliberately. I throw myself at him, knowing that this is the end. He's gone.
Moments pass. Then minutes. I count my breaths, but he's still solid.
“Ava,” he says, unlatching my hands from around his neck. If he was human, I would have choked the life out of him. “I love you,” he says again. He smiles at me and I push my hands on his chest.
“Why aren't you dead?”
“I don't know.” His calm tone makes me want to yell.
“How did you know it wouldn't kill you?”
“I didn't.”
“Then why did you do it, you moron?!”
“Because I felt it.” I thought I'd gotten rid of my tears, but I still had some.
“You can't do things like that to me, ever again. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I just lost my mother and he takes crazy risks.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He says it over and over, putting different emphasis on each word. I'm so angry with him, but after he starts smiling and laughing while saying it, I turn to mush. He loves me. I don't know if it means the bind was void all along, or Helena got to Di, or we'd somehow broken it ourselves.
He loves me.