Chapter 21
He'd bitten her.
Shanna saw him wandering toward the wet bar as if nothing was wrong. Nothing? That was her blood on his face. She stared at the punctures on her left thigh. Thank God, he'd stopped before draining her dry. Otherwise, she'd be in a coma right now, waiting to be transformed.
Oh God. She lowered her head into her hands. What did she expect? Dance with the devil, and you're going to get burned. Surprisingly enough, it didn't bum, didn't even sting. The pain had been short-lived. It was the shock that had terrified her. The shock of seeing his fangs spring out, of feeling them pop through her skin. And then she'd seen his fangs dripping with her own blood. At least she hadn't fainted. Her instinct for survival had kicked in.
He had lost complete control. Normally she would love the notion that she could totally unhinge a man during sex. Who wouldn't want that kind of sexual power? But unhinging Roman meant unleashing a vampire who thought she was breakfast.
Oh God, how could such a relationship work? As much as her heart longed for Roman, the only safe way to deal with him was at a distance. She could accept his protection for the time being, but not his passion.
And that hurt. It hurt a lot more than the damn pricks in her leg. Why did he have to be a vampire? He was such a wonderful man. He would be perfect for her if he weren't dead. She gazed at the ceiling. Why? All I wanted was a normal life, and You give me a vampire? What kind of divine justice is that?
A loud thud was her response. Shanna twisted on the chaise to look behind her. Roman had collapsed on the floor a few feet from the wet bar.
"Roman?" She stood. He lay still, facedown on the carpet.
"Roman?" She approached him slowly.
With a moan, he rolled onto his back. "I.. need.. blood."
Good God, he looked terrible. He must be starving. He couldn't have taken much from her. She spotted the bottle on the counter. Blood. A full bottle. Yeech. She didn't want to do this. She could dress and bring in the guard from outside. She glanced at Roman. His eyes were shut, his skin pale as death. He couldn't wait. She had to take action. Now.
She stood there frozen, her heart hammering in her chest. For a second, she felt as if she were back behind the potted plants, watching Karen die. And she had done nothing. She'd let fear keep her from helping Karen. She couldn't do that again.
She swallowed hard and walked toward the bottle of blood. When she reached the counter, the smell of it brought back wretched memories. Her best friend lying in a puddle of blood. She turned her head, trying not to breathe in the aroma. She had another friend now, and he needed this. She closed her hand around the bottle. It was cold. Should she warm it up so it would taste fresh? Her stomach churned at the thought.
"Shanna."
She glanced toward him. Roman was struggling to sit up. Good God, the man was so weak. So vulnerable. Maybe it wasn't surprising that he'd bitten her when he needed blood so badly. It was more surprising that he'd managed to pull away from her. He'd put himself at risk.
"I'm coming." She knelt beside him. With one arm, she supported his shoulders, and with the other, she lifted the bottle to his mouth. Blood. Bile rose in her throat. Her hand trembled, and a few drops rolled down his chin. A memory flashed of blood oozing from Karen's mouth. "Oh God." Her hand shook.
Roman reached up to steady her hand, but his was shaking, too. He drank long and deep, his throat moving with each gulp.
"Are you helping me do this? Mentally?" He'd used mind control at the dentist office to help her overcome her fear.
He lowered the bottle. "No. I wouldn't have the strength." He raised the bottle back to his mouth.
So she was overcoming her fear on her own. She still felt a little nauseated, watching him guzzle down cold blood, but she hadn't fainted.
"I'm better now. Thank you." He raised the bottle one more time and finished the last of the contents.
"Okay." She straightened. "I guess I'll be going then."
"Wait." He rose slowly to his feet. "Let me.." He took her arm. "I want to take care of you."
"I'm all right." She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She was standing there half-naked with holes in her thigh. Maybe it was shock. It felt more like grief. Like a heavy, black stone, crushing her heart and constantly reminding her that a relationship with a vampire could never work.
"Come." He led her into his bedroom.
She glanced sadly at his king-sized bed. If only he were mortal. By the looks of his bedroom, he was neat and orderly. He drew her into the bathroom. And look, he even kept the toilet seat down. Who could ask for more? If only he were alive.
He turned on the water faucet above the sink. There were no mirrors, just an oil painting of a pretty landscape. Green hills, red flowers, and a brilliant sun. Maybe he missed seeing the sun. It would be hard to live without the sun.
He dampened a washcloth and leaned over to clean her thigh. The warm cloth felt soothing. She had a sudden urge to simply fold up and collapse on the floor.
"I'm so sorry, Shanna. This won't happen again."
No, it wouldn't. Her eyes filled with tears. No more loving, no more passion. She couldn't afford to love a vampire.
"Does it hurt?"
She looked away so he couldn't see the gathering tears.
"I guess it does." He straightened. "It should have never happened. I haven't bitten anyone in eighteen years, not since the introduction of synthetic blood. Well, that's not quite true. There was one emergency transformation. Gregori."
"Radinka told me about it. You didn't want to do it."
"No." Roman dug through a drawer and removed two Band-Aids. "I didn't want to condemn his immortal soul."
Spoken like a true medieval monk. Shanna's heart ached for him. He obviously thought his own soul was damned.
He tore open the wrappers. "A vampire is always the hungriest when he first awakes in the evening. I was just about to eat when you came in. I should have had a bottle before making love." He attached the Band-Aids over her wounds. "From now on, we make sure I eat first."
There was no from now on. "I.. I can't."
"Can't what?"
He looked so worried. And so damned beautiful. Color had seeped back into his skin. His shoulders were broad.
His chest was bare with a mat of black hair that looked so soft and touchable. His golden-brown eyes watched her steadily.
Shanna blinked back the tears. "I can't.. believe you have a toilet." Chicken, she chided herself. But she hated to hurt him. She hated to hurt herself.
He looked surprised. "Oh, well, I use it."
"You use a toilet?"
"Yes. Our bodies only require red blood cells. Stuff like plasma and the added ingredients from Fusion Cuisine are all unnecessary and become waste."
"Oh." That was really more than she needed to know.
He tilted his head. "Are you all right?"
"Sure." She turned and left the bathroom, aware that he was watching her naked rump. So much for a graceful exit. She crossed his office to the pile of clothes on the floor.
She was dressed and sitting on the chaise, tying her shoes, when he came into the office. He removed another bottle from the mini-fridge and popped it into the microwave. He was fully dressed now - black jeans and a gray polo shirt. His face was washed, his hair brushed. He was absolutely beautiful and apparently still hungry.
The microwave dinged and he poured the warmed blood into a glass. "I owe you my thanks." Sipping from the glass, he strode toward the desk. "I shouldn't have allowed myself to get so hungry. You were very kind to help me after.. what I did."
"You mean after biting me?"
"Yes." He looked irritated as he sat behind his desk. "I prefer to look at the positive side of this."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. A few nights ago, you fainted at the mere sight of blood. I had to help you through the dental procedure, or you would have fainted again. But tonight you fed me blood. You're conquering your fear, Shanna. That's something to be proud of."
Well, yes. She was making definite progress.
"And we have proof of what an excellent dentist you are."
"How's that?"
"You implanted my fang, and it's working perfectly."
She snorted. "Right. I have the marks to prove it."
"That was an unfortunate mistake, but it's good to know the tooth is fixed. You did a great job."
"Oh yeah. It would be terrible for you to have only one working fang. Your friends might want to call you Lefty."
He raised his eyebrows. "I suppose you're angry." He took a deep breath. "I suppose I deserve it."
She wasn't angry. She was hurt, sad, and tired. Tired of trying to adjust to every shocking event that had occurred in the last few days. A part of her just wanted to crawl into bed and never come out. How could she even begin to explain how she felt? "I - " She was saved by a sudden rattling of the doorknob.
"Roman?" Gregori knocked on the door. "What's the deal with locking the door? We have an appointment."
"Damn, I forgot," Roman muttered. "Excuse me." He zipped to the door, turned the lock, then zipped back to the desk.
Shanna's mouth fell open. Vampire speed was so disconcerting to watch. Though it certainly came in handy during sex. She blushed. She couldn't afford to think about sex. Not when it was followed by sharp fangs and loss of blood.
"Hey, bro." Gregori strolled into the office with a portfolio under his arm. He was dressed in formal evening wear, complete with a dashing cape. "I have the presentation ready for our solution to the poor problem. Hey, sweetcakes." He nodded in Shanna's direction.
"Hi." She stood. "I should be going."
"I don't mind. In fact, I'd like your opinion." Gregori removed some large cards from his portfolio and propped the bottom edge of the stack on Roman's desk.
Shanna sat as she read the first one. How to encourage poor Vamps to drink synthetic blood.
Roman glanced at Shanna. "It's been difficult to persuade the poor to buy synthetic blood when they can get all they want fresh. And for free."
"You mean they can go straight to the food source - mortals." She frowned at him. "Like me."
He returned her gaze with a look that said, Get over it.
Gregori looked from one to the other. "Am I interrupting something?"
"No." Shanna motioned toward the posters. "Please continue."
With a smile, Gregori started his pitch. "The mission at Romatech Industries is to make the world safer for mortals and vampires alike. I know I speak for all of us at Romatech when I say I would never want to harm a mortal." He turned the first card facedown, so that the second card was revealed.
There were two words. Cheap. Convenient. Shanna could only hope they weren't referring to her.
"I believe these two factors are the solution to our poor problem," Gregori continued. "I've discussed the cheap factor with Laszlo, and he's had a brilliant idea. Since we only need red blood cells in order to survive, Laszlo plans to formulate a mixture of red blood cells and water. It would be much cheaper to produce than the normal synthetic blood or one of your Fusion Cuisine drinks."
Roman nodded. "It's also likely to taste like swill."
"We'll work on the taste. Now, for the convenience factor." Gregori revealed the next poster in his presentation. It showed a building with a drive-through window.
"This is a Vamp restaurant," he explained. "The menu will include Fusion Cuisine favorites like Chocolood and Blood Lite, but it will also have the new, cheaper mixture. The meals will be warmed up and served quickly."
Shanna blinked. "A fast-food restaurant?"
"Exactly!" Gregori nodded at her. "And with our new mixture of red blood cells and water, it'll be very cheap."
"A vampire value meal! What will you call the place? Bat in a Box? Vampire King?" To Shanna's surprise, a giggle escaped.
Gregori chuckled. "You're good at this."
Roman wasn't laughing. He was watching Shanna curiously.
She ignored him and pointed at the drive-through window. "Won't it be dangerous to have a drive-through? I mean, a normal human could get in line, thinking it's a real restaurant, and then see that the menu has nothing but blood. That would sorta blow your big secret, wouldn't it?"
"She has a valid point," Roman said.
"I know what to do." She raised her hands, imagining the restaurant. "You rent an upper floor, like ten floors up, and put the drive-through up there. That way, you couldn't have real people getting in line."
Gregori looked confused. "Ten floors up?"
"Yes! It would be a fly-through window." Shanna burst into laughter.
Gregori exchanged a look with Roman. "But we don't fly."
Roman stood. "I think you have some good ideas, Gregori. Have Laszlo start on the formula for the.. value meal."
Shanna covered her mouth, but more giggles escaped.
Roman gave her a worried look. "And begin research on a suitable rental property."
"You got it, boss." Gregori slid the posters back into his portfolio. "I'm going out clubbing with Simone tonight. For research purposes, of course. I'll be investigating the most popular vampire hangouts to see what works best."
"That's fine. Try to keep Simone out of trouble."
Gregori nodded. "Will do. You know, she's only going out with me because she's trying to make you jealous."
Suddenly Shanna didn't feel so giggly. She glared at Roman.
He had the grace to look embarrassed. "I made it clear to her that I'm not interested."
"Yeah, I know." Gregori started toward the door, then stopped. "Oh, I thought I'd arrange for a market survey tomorrow night at Romatech. Have a focus group of poor Vamps come in and fill out a questionnaire about the new restaurant. I'll spread the news tonight at the Vamp clubs."
"Sounds good." Roman walked toward the door.
Gregori glanced at Shanna. "Hey, you're good at this stuff. Would you like to help with the research study tomorrow night?"
"Me?"
"Yeah. It would be at Romatech, so you'd be safe." Gregori shrugged. "Just an idea. It would give you something to do."
Shanna considered the alternative, which was hanging around Roman's house with the harem. "Yeah. I'd like that. Thank you."
"Sure." Gregori tucked his portfolio under his arm. "Well, I'm off for a night on the town. This cape is cool, huh? Jean-Luc loaned it to me."
She smiled. "You're looking hot, dude."
Gregori strutted toward the door. "I'm too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my fangs. Too sexy." He whirled in a circle, then struck a disco pose with a hand pointing at the ceiling. "Too sexy!" He left with a flourish of his cape.
Shanna grinned. "I think he enjoys being a vampire."
Roman closed the door and returned to his desk. "He's a true modern-day Vamp. He's never had to bite in order to survive."
She snorted. "You mean he's so young, he's completely bottle-fed?"
Roman smiled as he sat behind his desk. "If you ever want to upset him, just tell him disco is dead."
Shanna laughed, but when she looked at Roman, the tragedy of their situation jolted through her and abruptly cut off her laughter. How could their relationship ever work? She would grow old while he stayed young. She doubted she could ever have children with him or the normal life she wanted. And he couldn't make love to her without wanting to bite her. It was impossible.
Roman leaned forward. "Are you all right?"
"Sure," it came out a bit high-pitched and squeaky. Tears clouded her eyes, and she looked away.
"You've been through an awful lot the last few days. Your life has been threatened. Your reality has been.."
"Destroyed?"
He winced. "I was going to say altered. You know about the vampire world now, but the mortal world is much the same as it always was."
It would never be the same. Shanna sniffed, trying to hold back the tears. "All I ever wanted was a normal life. I wanted to set down roots in a community and feel like I belonged there. I wanted a normal, steady job. A normal, steady husband." A tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly brushed it away. "I wanted a big house, with a big yard, and a picket fence, and a big dog. And.." Another tear escaped. "I wanted children."
"Those are good things to want," Roman whispered.
"Yes." She wiped her cheeks and avoided looking at him.
"You don't think we have a future, do you?"
She shook her head. She heard his chair squeak and ventured a quick glance. He was leaning back, staring at the ceiling. He seemed calm on the surface, but she could see the muscles rippling in his jaw as he ground his teeth.
"Maybe I should go now." She stood on shaky legs.
"A normal, steady husband," he muttered. He leaned forward, pinning her with a pair of angry eyes. "You have too much life, too much intelligence in you for a boring husband. You need passion in your life. You need someone who challenges your mind, who makes you scream in bed." He rose to his feet. "You need me."
"Like a hole in my head. Or in my case, a hole in my leg."
"I'm not going to bite you again!"
"You can't help it!" Tears streamed down her face. "It's in your nature."
He sat in his chair, his face pale. "You believe it is my nature to be evil?"
"No!" She wiped her cheeks angrily. "I think you're good and honorable and.. almost perfect. I know normally you would never want to hurt anyone. But when we're making love, there will come a point where you'll lose control. I've seen it. Your eyes glow red, and your teeth - "
"It won't happen again. I'll drink a full bottle before making love to you."
"You can't help it. You.. you have too much passion."
He clenched his fists. "There's a good reason for that."
"You can't guarantee you won't bite me again. It's just.. who you are."
"I give you my word. Here." Using a pencil, he dragged the silver cross and chain across his desk. "Put this on. I won't even be able to embrace you, much less bite you."
With a sigh, Shanna looped the chain around her neck. "I guess I need silver ring toes and a pair of silver garters. Oh, and a silver belly ring and nipple rings."
"Don't you dare pierce your beautiful body."
"Why not? You did."
He flinched.
Jeez. Now she was hurting him. "I'm sorry. I'm not handling this well."
"You're doing fine, but you've been through too much lately. All that giggling with Gregori - I think you're feeling a bit.. shaky right now. You should get some rest."
"Maybe so." Shanna lifted the crucifix to examine it. "How old is this cross?"
"Father Constantine gave it to me when I was ordained."
"It's lovely." She pressed it against her chest and took a deep breath. "Connor told me what happened to the monks. I'm so very sorry. You have to know it wasn't your fault."
He closed his eyes and rubbed his brow. "You said we were different, but we're not. We're so much alike. You feel the same way about your friend who was murdered. We have an emotional connection and a strong psychic one, too. You can't ignore that."
The tears threatened to overflow again. "I'm sorry. I do want you to be happy. After all you've been through, you deserve happiness."
"So do you. I'm not giving up on us, Shanna."
A tear slipped down her cheek. "It would never work. You'll be young and beautiful forever. And I'll grow old and gray."
"I don't care. It doesn't matter."
She sniffed. "Of course it matters."
"Shanna." He stood and rounded the desk. "You will still be you. And I love you."