chapter Twenty-Three
Tomasia (Florence, 1452)
ow that Andreas had returned, Tomi wondered how she could have doubted him. She should have trusted herself, but she had not, and now she would pay the price. But the reason for her misgivings could not be dismissed: it lay in the memory of what Andreas - Michael - had done so long ago. The last time they had encountered the Dark Prince. Though she had tried in her heart to understand, she had never accepted his choice. She had never forgiven him for what he had done during the Crisis in Rome.
What happened in Rome should never have been allowed. She had tried to accept, had tried to understand, but now Tomi had to admit that after the crisis passed, it was too late. Ever since then, she had mistrusted Michael's capacity to lead them....She had wondered if he still understood the reason for their sacrifice. The reason for their existence was to seek redemption for their people, to bring hope to the banished, to bring light to those who had been cursed into darkness.
They had come so close to victory in Rome. Michael had been so close to ending it.
Now they had both been punished. As the centuries passed, Tomi's doubt had only grown; and in that doubt, Lucifer had found a way between them, to unmake what could not be unmade.
Their great love for each other.
It was only a matter of time before Andreas would find out what she had done. Lucifer's child. This was a new spirit, a new entity. This was no ordinary pregnancy for their kind. This was a new soul. She could sense its fear, its wonder, and uncertainty. Somehow, Lucifer had stolen the gift of procreation from the Red Bloods and used it to create a child with her.
Their child. Born of love. Gio - Lucifer - she had loved him. Whatever she had done, she had loved him, and she loved this child.
She would do everything to protect her - and it was a daughter, she knew that for certain. She would do everything to protect her from Andreas.
What would happen once he discovered the truth?
Tomi thought of Simonetta - gutted, murdered, an innocent babe slaughtered in her belly. Nephilim. Demon children. But they were still children. Worthy of forgiveness, worthy of redemption. The babe had done nothing to deserve such a vile and violent end.
Andreas would never do the same to her, she knew.
But the baby...
With Andreas back, they returned to their mission, hunting the remaining Silver Bloods in their midst. Tomi tried not to think about the fact that one day she would give birth to the same thing they were killing.
It felt so natural, working with Andreas. Of course he was Michael; of course there was no one else he could have been. But over time she saw him looking at her strangely. He knew that something was wrong, that something had changed between them.
"You are troubled, my love. What is the matter?" he would ask. "We have triumphed over our enemy. There is nothing to fear."
But as kind as Andreas was, Tomi could not bring herself to tell him the truth. That she had been deceived, that she had doubted, and so she was the one who had betrayed him this time. Instead, she wore dresses that fit tightly at her breasts but bloomed and draped, skimming over her torso, so he could not see the growing bulge of her stomach.
Before long, though, she would not be able to hide it.
At night, she dreamed of Gio. She dreamed of their night together, and she felt the shame in her soul from how she'd responded to his touch. In her dreams, she could see Lucifer in him. Some nights she dreamed that she realized it in time; that she was able to get away; that she realized Andreas was her true mate. Then she would wake up, remember the truth, and the guilt and the shame would fill her again. Some nights she dreamed that she could see Lucifer in him and she did not care: she lay with him anyway.
That was more shameful still.
They were hunting a Silver Blood along the byzantine streets of the city center when Tomi realized she had gotten too big to run. The Silver Blood began to move faster and faster, and Andreas rushed to catch up with him. But Tomi could hardly move. The child was kicking in her belly, and the dress she was wearing to hide her growing waistline was heavy and dragged her down.
She could see Andreas ahead of her, trying to decide whether to catch the Silver Blood or slow down to attend to her. "Go!" she shouted. "Do not wait for me!"
She hoped the pause had not slowed him down too much; she would hate for a Silver Blood to escape because of what she had done. But she could no longer run; she could no longer stand. She sat down on the side of the road and waited for Andreas to return, trying to think of what she would say to him.
It was nearly an hour before he returned, bruised and bloodied.
"Are you all right?" she asked. If anything she had done led to his being hurt...
"I'm fine," he said. "It is my opponent you should worry about."
Tomasia smiled with relief, but her face fell when she remembered what she had to do.
"I should ask the same of you, though," he said. "I have noticed, of late, that you seem to be a bit unwell. Distracted, perhaps. I did not want to push you to tell me something you did not wish to share, but I must ask now."
"There is something I need to tell you," Tomasia admitted. "Though I am fearful about how you will receive the news."
Andreas knelt next to her in the road and took her hand in his. "There is nothing you can say that I am unwilling to hear. Nothing can change how I feel about you. Our bond is stronger than that."
Their bond...
"While you were away," she began, "I became convinced that I had been wrong that you were my mate, that you were my Michael. I should never have doubted; I should never have believed that Lucifer could ever reside in you, but I am ashamed to admit I did. I believed it because everyone else did, and because everything I saw led me to believe it. And Gio..."
"No one could have known about Gio," Andreas said grimly.
"It was more than that, though. Gio convinced me that we were meant to be together, that he was my Michael, and not you. And I already doubted myself so much that I felt that he must be right....We became bondmates."
Andreas stood. "You...you bonded with Gio?"
"Yes. I bonded with him. And..."
"Stand up!" Andreas commanded.
"Please, Andreas - "
"I said, stand up!"
She did as he asked. She stood up straight and tall, and did not stoop forward so the folds of her dress would better hide her burgeoning stomach. It was time for Andreas to know everything.
He saw right away.
"My God," he said. "He has got you with child? How can this be?"
"I do not know," she admitted. "But I do know one thing: I cannot let you destroy it."