chapter 14: The Silent City
She howl'd aloud, "I am on fire within.
There comes no murmur of reply.
What is it that will take away my sin,
And save me lest I die?"
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "The Palace of Art"
"Jessamine," Henry said again, for what must have been the fifth or sixth time. "I still can't believe it. Our Jessamine?"
Every time he said it, Tessa noticed, Charlotte's mouth grew a little tighter.
"Yes," she said again. "Jessamine. She has been spying on us and reporting our every move to Nate, who has been passing the information to Mortmain.
Must I say it again?"
Henry blinked at her. "I'm sorry, darling. I have been listening. It is only that -" He sighed. "I knew she was unhappy here. But I did not think Jessamine hated us."
"I don't think she did-or does." This was Jem, who was standing near the fire in the drawing room, one arm upon the mantel. They had not gathered for breakfast as they usual y did; there had been no formal announcement as to why, but Tessa guessed that the idea of going on with breakfast, with Jessamine's place empty, as if nothing had happened, had been too dreadful for Charlotte to bear.
Charlotte had wept for only a short time that night before she had regained her composure; she had waved away Sophie's and Tessa's attempts to help with cold cloths or tea, shaking her head stiffly and saying over and over that she should not all ow herself to break down like this, that now was the time for planning, for strategy. She had marched to Tessa's room, with Sophie and Tessa hurrying at her heels, and pried feverishly at the floorboards until she'd turned up a smal chapbook, like a family Bible, bound in white leather and wrapped in velvet. She had slipped it into her pocket with a determined expression, waving away Tessa's questions, and risen to her feet. The sky outside the windows had already begun to brighten with the wan light of dawn. Looking exhausted, she had told Sophie to instruct Bridget to serve a simple cold breakfast in the drawing room, and to let Cyril know so that the menfolk might be informed. Then she had left.
With Sophie's help Tessa had finally and grateful y fought her way free of Jessamine's dress; she had bathed, and put on her yel ow dress, the one Jessamine had bought her. She thought the color might brighten her mood, but she still felt wan and tired.
She found the same look reflected on Jem's face when she came into the drawing room. His eyes were shadowed, and he looked quickly away from her. It hurt. It also made her think of the night before, with Will, on the balcony.
But that had been different, she told herself. That had been a result of warlock powders, a temporary madness. Nothing like what had happened between her and Jem.
"I don't think she hates us," Jem said again now, correcting his use of the past tense. "She has always been someone so full of wanting. She has always been so desperate."
"It is my fault," Charlotte said softly. "I should not have tried to force being a Shadowhunter upon her when it was something she so clearly despised."
"No. No!" Henry hurried to reassure his wife. "You were never anything but kind to her. You did everything you could. There are some mechanisms that are so-so broken that they cannot be repaired."
"Jessamine is not a watch, Henry," Charlotte said, her tone remote. Tessa wondered if she were still angry with Henry for not seeing Woolsey Scott with her, or if she were simply angry at the world. "Perhaps I should just parcel up the Institute with a bow and give it to Benedict Lightwood. This is the second time that we have had a spy under our roof and not known about it until significant damage was done. Clearly I am incompetent."
"In a way it was really just the one spy," Henry began, but fell silent as Charlotte gave him a look that could have melted glass.
"If Benedict Lightwood is working for Mortmain, he cannot be all owed to have custody of the Institute," said Tessa. "In fact, that bal he threw last night ought to be enough to disqualify him."
"The problem Will be proving it," said Jem. "Benedict Will deny everything, and it Will be his word against yours-and you are a Downworlder-"
"There's Will," said Charlotte, and frowned. "Speaking of, where is Will ?"
"Having a lie-in, no doubt," said Jem, "and as for him being a witness, well, everyone thinks Will is a lunatic as it is-"
"Ah," said a voice from the doorway, "having your annual everyone-thinks- Will -is-a-lunatic meeting, are you?"
"It's biannual," said Jem. "And no, this is not that meeting."
Will 's eyes sought Tessa across the room. "They know about Jessamine?"
he said. He looked tired, but not as tired as Tessa would have thought; he was pale, but there was a suppressed excitement about him that was almost like-happiness. She felt her stomach drop as memories of the previous night-the stars, the balcony, the kissing-swept over her.
When had he gotten home last night? she thought. How had he? And why did he look so-excited? Was he horrified by what had happened on the balcony between them last night, or did he find it amusing? And dear God, had he told Jem? Warlock powders, she told herself desperately. She had not been herself, acting of her own will. Surely Jem would understand that. It would break her heart to hurt him. If he even cared . . .
"Yes, they know all about Jessamine," she said hastily. "She was questioned with the Mortal Sword and taken to the Silent City, and right now we're having a meeting about what to do next, and it's dreadful y important.
Charlotte's very upset."
Charlotte looked at her in puzzlement.
"Well, you are," Tessa said, nearly out of breath from speaking so quickly.
"And you were asking for Will -"
"And here I am," said Will, throwing himself down into a chair near Jem.
One of his arms had been bandaged, his sleeve pulled down partway over it.
The nails of his hand were crusted with dried blood. "Glad to hear Jessamine's in the Silent City. Best place for her. What's the next step?"
"That's the meeting we were trying to have," said Jem.
"Well, who knows she's there?" Will asked practical y.
"Just us," said Charlotte, "and Brother Enoch, but he's agreed not to inform the Clave for another day or so. Until we decide what to do. Which reminds me, I shall have some choice words for you, Will, haring off to Benedict Lightwood's without informing me, and dragging Tessa with you."
"There was no time to lose," said Will. "By the time we'd have roused you and made you agree to the plan, Nathaniel could have been and gone. And you can't say it was a dreadful idea. We've learned a great deal about Nathaniel and Benedict Lightwood-"
"Nathaniel Gray and Benedict Lightwood aren't Mortmain."
Will traced a pattern on the air with his long, elegant fingers. "Mortmain is the spider at the heart of the web," he said. "The more we learn, the more we know how far his reach extends. Before last night we had no clue he had any connection to Lightwood; now we know the man is his puppet. I say we go to the Clave and report Benedict and Jessamine. Let Wayland take care of them. See what Benedict spil s under the Mortal Sword."
Charlotte shook her head. "No, I-I don't think we can do that."
Will tilted his head back. "Why not?"
"Jessamine said it was exactly what Mortmain wanted us to do. And she said it under the influence of the Mortal Sword. She wasn't lying."
"But she could have been wrong," said Will. "Mortmain could have foreseen just this circumstance and have had Nate plant the thought in her head for us to discover."
"D'you think he would have thought ahead like that?" said Henry.
"Assuredly," said Will. "The man's a strategist." He tapped his temple.
"Like me."
"So you think we should go to the Clave?" asked Jem.
"Bloody hell, no," said Will. "What if it is the truth? Then we'l feel like right fools."
Charlotte threw her hands up. "But you said-"
"I know what I said," said Will. "But you have to look at consequences. If we go to the Clave and we're wrong, then we've played into Mortmain's hands.
We still have a few days before the deadline is up. Going to the Clave early gains us nothing. If we investigate, and can proceed on a surer footing . . ."
"And how do you propose to investigate?" Tessa inquired.
Will swiveled his head to look at her. There was nothing in his cool blue eyes to recal the Will of the night before, who had touched her with such tenderness, who had whispered her name like a secret. "The problem with questioning Jessamine is that even when forced to tell the truth, there is a limit to her knowledge. We do, however, have one more connection to the Magister. Someone who is likely to know a great deal more. That is your brother, Nate, through Jessamine. He still trusts her. If she summons him to a meeting, then we Will be able to capture him there."
"Jessamine would never agree to do it," said Charlotte. "Not now-"
Will gave her a dark look. "You are all in a lather, aren't you?" he said. "Of course she wouldn't. We Will be asking Tessa to reprise her starring role as Jessamine, A Traitorous Young Lady of Fashion."
"That sounds dangerous," Jem said in a subdued voice. "For Tessa."
Tessa looked at him quickly, and caught a flash of his silvery eyes. It was the first time he had looked at her since she had left his room that night. Was she imagining the concern in his voice when he spoke of danger to her, or was it simply the concern Jem had for everyone? Not wishing for her horrible demise was mere kindness, not-not what it was she hoped he felt.
Whatever that might be. Let him at least not despise her. . . .
"Tessa is fearless," said Will. "And there Will be little danger to her. We Will send him a note arranging a meeting in a place where we might fal upon him easily and immediately. The Silent Brothers can torture him until he gives up the information that we need."
"Torture?" said Jem. "This is Tessa's brother-"
"Torture him," said Tessa. "If that is what is necessary. I give you my permission."
Charlotte looked up at her, shocked. "You can't mean that."
"You said there was a way to dig through his mind for secrets," Tessa said.
"I asked you not to do that, and you didn't. I thank you for that, but I Will not hold you to that promise. Dig through his mind if you must. There is more to all of this for me than there is for you, you know. For you this is about the Institute and the safety of Shadowhunters. I care about those things too, Charlotte. But Nate-he is working with Mortmain. Mortmain, who wants to trap me and use me, and for what we still do not know. Mortmain, who may know what I am. Nate told Jessamine my father was a demon and my mother was a Shadowhunter-"
Will sat up straight. "That's impossible," he said. "Shadow-hunters and demons-they cannot procreate. They cannot produce living offspring."
"Then maybe it was a lie, like the lie about Mortmain being in Idris," said Tessa. "That doesn't mean Mortmain doesn't know the truth. I must know what I am. If nothing else, I believe it is the key to why he wants me."
There was sadness in Jem's eyes as he looked at her, and then away.
"Very well," he said. "Will, how do you propose we lure him to a meeting? Don't you think he knows Jessamine's handwriting? Isn't it likely they have some secret signal between them?"
"Jessamine must be convinced," said Will. "To help us."
"Please don't suggest we torture her," said Jem irritably. "The Mortal Sword has already been used. She has told us all she can-"
"The Mortal Sword did not give us their meeting places or any codes or pet names they might have used," said Will. "Don't you understand? This is Jessamine's last chance. Her last chance to cooperate. To get leniency from the Clave. To be forgiven. Even if Charlotte keeps the Institute, do you think they Will leave Jessamine's fate in our hands? No, it Will be left to the Consul and the Inquisitor. And they Will not be kind. If she does this for us, it could mean her life."
"I am not sure she cares about her life," said Tessa softly.
"Everyone cares," said Will. "Everyone wants to live."
Jem turned away from him abruptly, and stared into the fire.
"The question is, who can we send to persuade her?" said Charlotte. "I cannot go. She hates and blames me most of all."
"I could go," Henry said, his gentle face troubled. "I could perhaps reason with the poor girl, speak with her of the fol y of young love, how swiftly it fades in the face of life's harsh reality-"
"No." Charlotte's tone was final.
"Well, I highly doubt she wishes to see me," said Will. "It Will have to be Jem. He's impossible to hate. Even that devil cat likes him."
Jem exhaled, still staring into the fire. "I Will go to the Silent City," he said.
"But Tessa should come with me."
Tessa looked up, startled. "Oh, no," she said. "I do not think Jessamine likes me much. She feels I have betrayed her terribly by disguising myself as her, and I cannot say I blame her."
"Yes," said Jem. "But you are Nate's sister. If she loves him as you say she does . . ." His eyes met hers across the room. "You know Nate. You can speak of him with authority. You may be able to make her believe what I cannot."
"Very well," Tessa said. "I Will try."
This seemed to signal the end of breakfast; Charlotte darted off to call for a carriage to come for them from the Silent City; it was how the Brothers liked to do things, she explained. Henry returned to his crypt and his inventions, and Jem, after a murmured word to Tessa, went to gather his hat and coat. Only Will remained, staring into the fire, and Tessa, seeing that he was not moving, waited until the door shut behind Jem and came around to stand between Will and the flames.
He raised his eyes to her slowly. He was still wearing the clothes he had been wearing the night before, though his white shirtfront was stained with blood and there was a long, jagged rent in his frock coat. There was a cut along his cheek, too, under his left eye. "Will," she said.
"Aren't you meant to be leaving with Jem?"
"And I shall," she replied. "But I need a promise from you first."
His eyes moved to the fire; she could see the dancing flames reflected in his pupils. "Then tell me what it is quickly. I have important business to get to.
I plan to sulk all afternoon, fol owed, perhaps, by an evening of Byronic brooding and a nighttime of dissipation."
"Dissipate all you like. I only want your assurance that you Will tell no one what transpired between us last night on the balcony."
"Oh, that was you," said Will, with the air of someone who has just recol ected a surprising detail.
"Spare me," she snapped, stung despite herself. "We were under the influence of warlock powders. It meant nothing. Even I do not blame you for what happened, however tedious you are being about it now. But there is no need for anyone else to know, and if you were a gentleman-"
"But I am not."
"But you are a Shadowhunter," she said venomously. "And there is no future for a Shadowhunter who dal ies with warlocks."
His eyes danced with fire. He said, "You have become boring to tease, Tess."
"Then give me your word you Will tell no one, not even Jem, and I Will go away and cease to bore you."
"You have my word on the Angel," he said. "It was not something I had planned to brag of in the first place. Though why you are so keen that no one here suspect you of a lack of virtue, I do not know."
Jem's face flashed across her inner eye. "No," she said. "You truly don't."
And with that she turned on her heel and stalked from the room, leaving him staring after her in confusion.
Sophie hurried down Piccadil y, her head bent, her eyes on the pavement beneath her feet. She was used to hushed murmurs and the occasional stare when she went out and eyes fell upon her scar; she had perfected a way of walking that hid her face beneath the shadow of her hat. She was not ashamed of the scar, but she hated the pity in the eyes of those who saw it.
She was wearing one of Jessamine's old dresses. It was not out of fashion yet, but Jessamine was one of those girls who dubbed any dress she had worn more than three times "historical" and either cast it off or had it made over. It was a striped watered silk in green and white, and there were waxy white flowers and green leaves on her hat. all together, she thought, she could pass for a girl of good breeding-if she were not out on her own, that was-especial y with her work-roughened hands covered in a pair of white kid gloves.
She saw Gideon before he saw her. He was leaning against a lamppost outside the great pale-green porte cochere of Fortnum & Mason. Her heart skipped a little beat as she looked at him, so handsome in his dark clothes, checking the time on a gold watch affixed to his waistcoat pocket by a thin chain. She paused for a moment, watching the people stream around him, the busy life of London roaring around him, and Gideon as calm as a rock in the middle of a churning river. all Shadowhunters had something of that to them, she thought, that still ness, that dark aura of separateness that set them apart from the current of mundane life.
He looked up then, and saw her, and smiled that smile that changed his whole face. "Miss Col ins," he said, coming forward, and she moved forward to meet him as well, feeling as she did so as if she were stepping into the circle of his separateness. The steady noise of city traffic, pedestrian and otherwise, seemed to dim, and it was just her and Gideon, facing each other on the street.
"Mr. Lightwood," she said.
His face changed, only a little, but she saw it. She saw too that he was holding something in his left hand, a woven picnic basket. She looked at it, and then at him.
"One of Fortnum & Mason's famous hampers," he said with a sideways smile. "Stilton cheese, quails' eggs, rose petal jam-"
"Mr. Lightwood," she said again, interrupting him, to her own amazement.
A servant never interrupted a gentleman. "I have been most distressed- most distressed in my own mind, you understand, as to whether I should come here at all. I finally decided that I should, if only to tell you to your own face that I cannot see you. I thought you deserved that much, though I am not sure of it."
He looked at her, stunned, and in that moment she saw not a Shadowhunter but an ordinary boy, like Thomas or Cyril, clutching a picnic basket and unable to hide the surprise and hurt on his face. "Miss Col ins, if there is something I have done to offend-"
"I cannot see you. That is all," Sophie said, and turned away, meaning to hurry back the way she had come. If she was quick, she could catch the next omnibus back to the City- "Miss Col ins. Please." It was Gideon, at her elbow. He did not touch her, but he was walking alongside her, his expression distraught. "Tel me what I've done."
She shook her head mutely. The look on his face-perhaps it had been a mistake to come. They were passing Hatchards bookshop, and she considered ducking inside; surely he would not fol ow her, not into a place where they'd likely be overheard. But then again, perhaps he would.
"I know what it is," he said abruptly. "Will. He told you, didn't he?"
"The fact that you say that informs me that there was something to tell."
"Miss Col ins, I can explain. Just come with me-this way." He turned, and she found herself following him, warily. They were in front of St. James's Church; he led her around the side and down a narrow street that bridged the gap between Piccadil y and Jermyn Street. It was quieter here, though not deserted; several passing pedestrians gave them curious looks-the scarred girl and the handsome boy with the pale face, careful y setting his hamper down at his feet.
"This is about last night," he said. "The bal at my father's house in Chiswick. I thought I saw Will. I had wondered if he would tell the rest of you."
"You confess it, then? That you were there, at that depraved-that unsuitable-"
"Unsuitable? It was a sight more than unsuitable," said Gideon, with more force than she had ever heard him use. Behind them the bel of the church tol ed the hour; he seemed not to hear it. "Miss Col ins, all I can do is swear to you that until last night I had no idea with what low company, what destructive habits, my father had engaged himself. I have been in Spain this past half-year-"
"And he was not like this before that?" Sophie asked, disbelieving.
"Not quite. It is difficult to explain." His eyes strayed past her, their gray- green stormier than ever. "My father has always been one to flout convention.
To bend the Law, if not to break it. He has always taught us that this is the way that everyone goes along, that all Shadowhunters do it. And we- Gabriel and I-having lost our mother so young, had no better example to fol ow. It was not until I arrived in Madrid that I began to understand the ful extent of my father's . . . incorrectness. Everyone does not flout the Law and bend the rules, and I was treated as if I were some monstrous creature for believing it to be so, until I changed my ways. Research and observation led me to believe I had been given poor principles to fol ow, and that it had been done with deliberation. I could think only of Gabriel and how I might save him from the same realization, or at least from having it delivered so shockingly."
"And your sister-Miss Lightwood?"
Gideon shook his head. "She has been sheltered from it all. My father thinks that women have no business with the darker aspects of Downworld.
No, it is I who he believes must know of his involvements, for I am the heir to the Lightwood estate. It was with an eye to that that my father brought me with him to the event last night, at which, I assume, Will saw me."
"You knew he was there?"
"I was so disgusted by what I saw inside that room that I eventual y fought my way free and went out into the gardens for some fresh air. The stench of demons had made me nauseated. Out there, I saw someone familiar chasing a blue demon across the parkland with an air of determination."
"Mr. Herondale?"
Gideon shrugged. "I had no idea what he was doing there; I knew he could not have been invited, but could not fathom how he had found out about it, or if his pursuit of the demon was unrelated. I wasn't sure until I saw the look on your face when you beheld me, just now . . ."
Sophie's voice rose and sharpened. "But did you tell your father, or Gabriel? Do they know? About Master Will ?"
Gideon shook his head slowly. "I told them nothing. I do not think they expected Will there in any capacity. The Shadowhunters of the Institute are meant to be in pursuit of Mortmain."
"They are," said Sophie slowly, and when his only look was one of incomprehension, she said: "Those clockwork creatures at your father's party -where did you think they came from?"
"I didn't-I assumed they were demon playthings of some sort-"
"They can only have come from Mortmain," said Sophie. "You haven't seen his automatons before, but Mr. Herondale and Miss Gray, they have, and they were sure."
"But why would my father have anything of Mortmain's?"
Sophie shook her head. "It may be that you should not ask me questions you don't want the answer to, Mr. Lightwood."
"Miss Col ins." His hair fell forward over his eyes; he tossed it back with an impatient gesture. "Miss Col ins, I know that whatever you tell me, it Will be the truth. In many ways, of all those I have met in London, I find you the most trustworthy-more so than my own family."
"That seems to me a great misfortune, Mr. Lightwood, for we have known each other only a little time indeed."
"I hope to change that. At least walk to the park with me, Soph-Miss Col ins. tell me this truth of which you speak. If then you still desire no further connection with me, I Will respect your wishes. I ask only for an hour or so of your time." His eyes pleaded with her. "Please?"
Sophie felt, almost against her will, a rush of sympathy for this boy with his sea-storm eyes, who seemed so alone. "Very well," she said. "I Will come to the park with you."
An entire carriage ride alone with Jem, Tessa thought, her stomach clenching as she drew on her gloves and cast a last glance at herself in the pier glass in her bedroom. Just two nights ago the prospect had precipitated in her no new or unusual feelings; she had been worried about Will, and curious about Whitechapel, and Jem had gently distracted her as they'd rol ed along, speaking of Latin and Greek and parabatai.
And now? Now she felt like a net of butterflies was loose in her stomach at the prospect of being shut up in a small, close space alone with him. She glanced at her pale face in the mirror, pinched her cheeks and bit her lips to bring color into them, and reached for her hat on the stand beside the vanity.
Settling it on her brown hair, she caught herself wishing she had golden curls like Jessamine, and thought-Could I? Would it be possible to Change just that one smal part of herself, give herself shimmering hair, or perhaps a slimmer waist or full er lips?
She whirled away from the glass, shaking her head. How had she not thought of that before? And yet the mere idea seemed like a betrayal of her own face. Her hunger to know what she was still burned inside her; if even her own features were no longer the ones she'd been born with, how could she justify this demand, this need to know her own nature? Don't you know there is no Tessa Gray? Mortmain had said to her. If she used her power to turn her eyes sky blue or to darken her lashes, wouldn't she be proving him right?
She shook her head, trying to cast the thoughts off as she hurried from her room and down the steps to the Institute's entryway. Waiting in the courtyard was a black carriage, unmarked by any coat of arms and driven by a pair of matched horses the color of smoke. In the driver's seat sat a Silent Brother; it was not Brother Enoch but another of his brethren that she didn't recognize.
His face was not as scarred as Enoch's, from what she could see beneath the hood.
She started down the steps just as the door opened behind her and Jem came out; it was chil y, and he wore a light gray coat that made his hair and eyes look more silver than ever. He looked up at the equal y gray sky, heavy with black-edged clouds, and said, "We'd better get into the carriage before it starts to rain."
It was a perfectly ordinary thing to say, but Tessa was struck speechless all the same. She fol owed Jem silently to the carriage and all owed him to help her in. As he climbed in after her, and swung the door shut behind them, she noticed he was not carrying his sword-cane.
The carriage started forward with a lurch. Tessa, her hand at the window, gave a cry. "The gates-they're locked! The carriage-"
"Hush." Jem put his hand on her arm. She couldn't help a gasp as the carriage rumbled up to the padlocked iron gates-and passed through them, as if they had been made of no more substance than air. She felt the breath go out of her in a whoosh of surprise. "The Silent Brothers have strange magic," said Jem, and dropped his hand.
At that moment it began to rain, the sky opening up like a punctured hot water bottle. Through the sheets of silver Tessa stared as the carriage rol ed through pedestrians as if they were ghosts, slipped into the narrowest cracks between buildings, rattled through a courtyard and then a warehouse, boxes all about them, and emerged finally on the Embankment, itself slick and wet with rain beside the heaving gray water of the Thames.
"Oh, dear God," Tessa said, and drew the curtain shut. "Tel me we aren't going to rol into the river."
Jem laughed. Even through her shock, it was a welcome sound. "No. The carriages of the Silent City travel only on land, as far as I know, though that travel is peculiar. It's a bit sickening the first time or two, but you get used to it."
"Do you?" She looked at him directly. This was the moment. She had to say it, before their friendship suffered further. Before there could be more awkwardness. "Jem," she said.
"Yes?"
"I-you must know-how very much your friendship means to me," she began, awkwardly. "And-"
A look of pain flashed across his face. "Please don't."
Thrown off her stride, Tessa could only blink. "What do you mean?"
"Every time you say that word, 'friendship,' it goes into me like a knife," he said. "To be friends is a beautiful thing, Tessa, and I do not scorn it, but I have hoped for a long time now that we might be more than friends. And then I had thought after the other night that perhaps my hopes were not in vain. But now-"
"Now I have ruined everything," she whispered. "I am so sorry."
He looked toward the window; she could sense that he was fighting some strong emotion. "You should not have to apologize for not returning my feelings."
"But Jem." She was bewildered, and could think only of taking his pain away, of making him feel less hurt. "I was apologizing for my behavior that other night. It was forward and inexcusable. What you must think of me . . ."
He looked up in surprise. "Tessa, you can't think that, can you? It is I who have behaved inexcusably. I have barely been able to look at you since, thinking how much you must despise me-"
"I could never despise you," she said. "I have never met anyone as kind and good as you are. I thought it was you who were dismayed by me. That you despised me."
Jem looked shocked. "How could I despise you when it was my own distraction that led to what happened between us? If I had not been in such a desperate state, I would have shown more restraint."
He means he would have had enough restraint to stop me, Tessa thought. He does not expect propriety of me. He assumes it would not be in my nature. She stared fixedly at the window again, or the bit of it she could see. The river was visible, black boats bobbing on the tide, the rain mixing with the river.
"Tessa." He scrambled across the carriage so that he was sitting beside her rather than across from her, his anxious, beautiful face close to hers. "I know that mundane girls are taught that it is their responsibility not to tempt men. That men are weak and women must restrain them. I assure you, Shadowhunter mores are different. More equal. It was our equal choice to do -what we did."
She stared at him. He was so kind, she thought. He seemed to read the fears in her heart and move to dispel them before she could speak them aloud.
She thought then of Will. Of what had transpired between them the previous evening. She pushed away the memory of the cold air all around them, the heat between their bodies as they clung together. She had been drugged, as had he. Nothing they had said or done meant anything more than an opium addict's babbling. There was no need to tell anyone; it had meant nothing. Nothing.
"Say something, Tessa." Jem's voice shook. "I fear that you think that I regret that night. I do not." His thumb brushed over her wrist, the bare skin between the cuff of her dress and her glove. "I only regret that it came too soon. I-I would have wanted to-to court you first. To take you driving, with a chaperon."
"A chaperon?" Tessa laughed despite herself.
He went on determinedly. "To tell you of my feelings first, before I showed them. To write poetry for you-"
"You don't even like poetry," Tessa said, her voice catching on a half laugh of relief.
"No. But you make me want to write it. Does that not count for anything?"
Tessa's lips curled into a smile. She leaned forward and looked up into his face, so close to hers that she could make out each individual silvery eyelash on his lids, the faint white scars on his pale throat where once there had been Marks. "That sounds almost practiced, James Carstairs. How many girls have you made swoon with that observation?"
"There is only one girl I care to make swoon," he said. "The question is, does she?"
She smiled at him. "She does."
A moment later-she did not know how it had happened-he was kissing her, his lips soft on hers, his hand rising to cup her cheek and chin, holding her face steady. Tessa heard a light crinkling and realized it was the sound of the silk flowers on her hat being crushed against the side of the carriage as his body pressed hers back. She clutched at his coat lapels, as much to keep him close as to stop herself from fal ing over.
The carriage came to a jerking halt. Jem drew back from her, looking dazed. "By the Angel," he said. "Perhaps we do need a chaperon."
Tessa shook her head. "Jem, I . . ."
Jem still looked stunned. "I think I'd better sit over here," he said, and moved to the seat across from hers. Tessa glanced toward the window.
Through the gap in the curtains she saw that the Houses of Parliament loomed above them, towers framed darkly against the lightening sky. It had stopped raining. She was not sure why the carriage had stopped; indeed, it rumbled into life a moment later, rol ing directly into what seemed a pit of black shadow that had opened up before them. She knew enough not to gasp in surprise this time; there was darkness, and then they rol ed out into the great room of black basalt lit with torches that she remembered from the Council meeting.
The carriage stopped and the door flew open. Several Silent Brothers stood on the other side. Brother Enoch was at their head. Two Brothers flanked him, each holding a burning torch. Their hoods were back. Both were blind, though only one, like Enoch, seemed to have missing eyes; the others had eyes that were shut, with runes scrawled blackly across them. all had their lips stitched shut.
Welcome again to the Silent City, Daughter of Lilith, said Brother Enoch.
For a moment Tessa wanted to reach behind herself for the warm pressure of Jem's hand on hers, let him help her out of the carriage. She thought of Charlotte then. Charlotte, so smal and strong, who leaned on no one.
She emerged from the carriage on her own, the heels of her boots ringing on the basalt floor. "Thank you, Brother Enoch," she said. "We are here to see Jessamine Lovelace. Will you take us to her?"
The prisons of the Silent City were beneath its first level, past the pavilion of the Speaking Stars. A dark staircase led down. The Silent Brothers went first, fol owed by Jem and Tessa, who had not spoken to each other since they'd left the carriage. It was not an awkward silence, though. There was something about the haunting grandeur of the City of Bones, with its great mausoleums and soaring arches, that made her feel as if she were in a museum or a church, where hushed voices were required.
At the bottom of the stairs, a corridor snaked in two directions; the Silent Brothers turned to the left, and led Jem and Tessa nearly to the end of the hall. As they went, they passed row after row of smal chambers, each with a barred, padlocked door. Each contained a bed and washstand, and nothing else. The wal s were stone, and the smel was of water and dampness.
Tessa wondered if they were under the Thames, or somewhere else altogether.
At last the Brothers stopped at a door, the second to the last on the hall, and Brother Enoch touched the padlock. It clicked open, and the chains holding the door shut fell away.
You are welcome to enter, said Enoch, stepping back. We will be waiting for you outside.
Jem put his hand to the door handle and hesitated, looking at Tessa.
"Perhaps you should talk to her for a moment alone. Woman to woman."
Tessa was startled. "Are you sure? You know her better than I do-"
"But you know Nate," said Jem, and his eyes flicked away from her briefly.
Tessa had the feeling there was something he was not tell ing her. It was such an unusual feeling when it came to Jem that she was not sure how to react. "I Will join you in a moment, once you have put her at ease."
Slowly Tessa nodded. Brother Enoch swung the door open, and she walked inside, flinching a little as the heavy door crashed to behind her.
It was a smal room, like the others, stone-bound. There was a washstand and what had probably once been a ceramic jug of water; now it was in pieces on the floor, as if someone had thrown it with great force against the wall. On the narrow bed sat Jessamine in a plain white gown, a rough blanket wrapped around her. Her hair fell around her shoulders in tangled snakes, and her eyes were red.
"Welcome. Nice place to live out of, isn't this?" Jessamine said. Her voice sounded rough, as if her throat were swol en from crying. She looked at Tessa, and her lower lip began to tremble. "Did-did Charlotte send you to bring me back?"
Tessa shook her head. "No."
"But-" Jessamine's eyes began to fill. "She can't leave me here. I can hear them, all night." She shuddered, pul ing the blanket closer around her.
"You can hear what?"
"The dead," she said. "Whispering in their tombs. If I stay down here long enough, I Will join them. I know it."
Tessa sat down on the edge of the bed and careful y touched Jessamine's hair, stroking the snarls lightly. "That won't happen," she said, and Jessamine began to sob. Her shoulders shook. Helplessly Tessa looked around the room, as if something in the miserable cel might give her inspiration.
"Jessamine," she said. "I brought you something."
Jessamine very slowly raised her face. "Is it from Nate?"
"No," Tessa answered gently. "It's something of yours." She reached into her pocket and drew it out, extending her hand toward Jessamine. In her palm lay a tiny baby dol that she had taken from its crib inside Jessamine's dol 's house. "Baby Jessie."
Jessamine made an "oh" sound low in her throat, and plucked the dol from Tessa's grasp. She held it tightly, against her chest. Her eyes spilled over, her tears making tracks in the grime on her face. She really was a most pitiful sight, Tessa thought. If only . . .
"Jessamine," Tessa said again. She felt as if Jessamine were an animal in need of gentling, and that repeating her name in a kind tone might somehow help. "We need your help."
"In betraying Nate," Jessamine snapped. "But I don't know anything. I don't even know why I'm here."
"Yes, you do." It was Jem, coming into the cell. He was flushed and a little out of breath, as if he had been hurrying. He shot Tessa a conspiratorial glance and closed the door behind him. "You know exactly why you're here, Jessie-"
"Because I fell in love!" Jessamine snapped. "You ought to know what that's like. I see how you look at Tessa." She shot Tessa a poisonous look as Tessa's cheeks flamed. "At least Nate is human."
Jem didn't lose his composure. "I haven't betrayed the Institute for Tessa,"
he said. "I haven't lied to and endangered those who have cared for me since I was orphaned."
"If you wouldn't," said Jessamine, "you don't really love her."
"If she asked me to," said Jem, "I would know she did not really love me."
Jessamine sucked in a breath and turned away from him, as if he had slapped her face. "You," she said in a muffled voice. "I always thought you were the nicest one. But you're horrible. You're all horrible. Charlotte tortured me with that Mortal Sword until I told everything. What more could you possibly want from me? You've already forced me to betray the man I love."
At the very corner of Tessa's vision, she saw Jem rol his eyes. There was a certain theatricality to Jessamine's despair, as there was to everything she did, but under it-under the role of wronged woman Jessamine had cast herself in-Tessa felt she was genuinely afraid.
"I know you love Nate," Tessa said. "And I know that I Will not be able to convince you that he does not return your sentiment."
"You're jealous-"
"Jessamine, Nate cannot love you. There is something wrong with him- some piece missing from his heart. God knows my aunt and I tried to ignore it, to tell each other it was boyish high-jinks and thoughtlessness. But he murdered our aunt-did he tell you that?-murdered the woman who brought him up, and laughed to me about it later. He has no empathy, no capacity for gratitude. If you shield him now, it Will win you nothing in his eyes."
"Nor is it likely you Will ever see him again," said Jem. "If you do not help us, the Clave Will never let you go. It Will be you and the dead down here for eternity, if you are not punished with a curse."
"Nate said you would try to frighten me," said Jessamine in a sliver of a voice.
"Nate also said the Clave and Charlotte would do nothing to you because they were weak," said Tessa. "That has not proven true. He said to you only what he had to say, to get you to do what he wanted you to. He is my brother, and I tell you, he is a cheat and a liar."
"We need you to write a letter to him," said Jem. "Tel ing him you have knowledge of a secret Shadowhunter plot against Mortmain, and to meet you tonight-"
Jessamine shook her head, plucking at the rough blanket. "I Will not betray him."
"Jessie." Jem's voice was soft; Tessa did not know how Jessamine could hold out against him. "Please. We are only asking you to save yourself. Send this message; tell us your usual meeting place. That is all we ask."
Jessamine shook her head. "Mortmain," she said. "Mortmain Will yet win out over you. Then the Silent Brothers Will be defeated and Nate Will come to claim me."
"Very well," said Tessa. "Imagine that does happen. You say Nate loves you. Then, he would forgive you anything, wouldn't he? Because when a man loves a woman, he understands that she is weak. That she cannot hold out against, for instance, torture, in the manner in which he could."
Jessamine made a whimpering sound.
"He understands that she is frail and delicate and easily led," Tessa went on, and gently touched Jessamine's arm. "Jessie, you see your choice. If you do not help us, the Clave Will know it, and they Will not be lenient with you. If you do help us, Nate Will understand. If he loves you . . . he has no choice. For love means forgiveness."
"I . . ." Jessamine looked from one of them to the other, like a frightened rabbit. "Would you forgive Tessa, if it were her?"
"I would forgive Tessa anything," Jem said gravely.
Tessa could not see his expression, she was facing Jessamine, but she felt her heart skip a beat. She could not look at Jem, too afraid her expression would betray her feelings.
"Jessie, please," she said instead.
Jessamine was silent for a long time. When she spoke, final y, her voice was as thin as a thread. "You Will be meeting him, I suppose, disguised as me."
Tessa nodded.
"You must wear boys' clothes," she said. "When I meet him at night, I am always dressed as a boy. It is safer for me to traverse the streets alone like that. He Will expect it." She looked up, pushing her matted hair out of her face. "Have you a pen and paper?" she added. "I Will write the note."
She took the proffered items from Jem and began to scribble. "I ought to get something in return for this," she said. "If they Will not let me out-"
"They Will not," said Jem, "until it is determined that your information is good."
"Then they ought to at least give me better food. It's dreadful here. Just gruel and hard bread." Having finished scribbling the note, she handed it to Tessa. "The boys' clothes I wear are behind the dol 's house in my room.
Take care moving it," she added, and for a moment again she was Jessamine, her brown eyes haughty. "And if you must borrow some of my clothes, do. You've been wearing the same four dresses I bought you in June over and over. That yel ow one is practical y ancient. And if you don't want anyone to know you've been kissing in carriages, you should refrain from wearing a hat with easily crushed flowers on it. People aren't blind, you know."
"So it seems," said Jem with great gravity, and when Tessa looked over at him, he smiled, just at her.