Chapter Eight
If Seth had any lingering feelings from last night, he didn’t show it. He showered and packed up his bag like normal, called me Thetis, and regarded me with all the affection he normally did. I watched him as he moved toward the door.
“You going to that diner again?” I asked carefully.
He glanced up, face momentarily distracted. I could tell he was already getting sucked into the whirling plots of his stories.
“Hmm? Ah, no…they’re closed on Sundays. Gonna go over to that coffee shop across the street.”
“The one with the pig on the front? It looks horrible.”
“Yeah. But just because it’s not kosher…”
I groaned. “Oh my God. I really sleep with you?”
He grinned, one of the rare, genuine ones that flashed across his face like a sunrise breaking over the horizon.
“Yes. Happily.”
He brushed a kiss over my mouth, then headed out. I stared at the door a few moments, felt a smile of my own cross my lips, and left shortly thereafter, suddenly feeling cheery about life again.
That cheeriness faded when I reached my destination for the day. The trial was over, the ballroom empty. No more court. Now it was time for the jury to deliberate.
Apparently, Hell had decided it couldn’t spring to pay for another conference room in the hotel. The thirteen of us instead found ourselves crammed into one of the jurors’ rooms. Admittedly, it was a nice room, but there wasn’t enough space, and I chose to sit cross-legged on the floor. No one paid any attention to me, so I tried to make myself small as I listened to the conversation.
“I’m telling you, the internet is going to send more souls our way than the Inquisition and the Pill combined,” one demon was saying. He had slicked-back brown hair and a weak chin.
Peanut Butter Guy shook his head. He looked remarkably alert today. “The internet’s taking souls from us,” he argued. “People don’t have to sin in the real world anymore. They can do it virtually.”
“Doesn’t matter if they’re actually doing it,” said Weak Chin. “So long as they feel guilt from it. You don’t think a married minister looking at gay porn isn’t doing mental selfflagellation? Besides, the internet’s a gateway sin. Experience it enough virtually, and eventually you crave the real thing.”
“Let’s not forget child predators,” piped up a demoness who was idly flipping through channels. She had full lips painted glossy and bright with magenta lipstick. “You think they’d have as much access to thirteen-year-olds without the internet?”
“Oh, fuck,” said Peanut Butter. “I love when Chris Hansen does those Dateline specials.”
“Oh yeah,” said Weak Chin excitedly. He appeared to have forgotten his earlier argument. “Did you see that one last week? With that guy they caught again? ”
The entire room grew enthusiastic.
“That was fantastic! How could he let Dateline bust him twice? How stupid do you have to be?”
“Guys like that are keeping our coffers full.”
“Yup, that and craigslist.”
There was a pause, and then they all burst into laughter.
I sighed.
Eventually, the rest of the jurors showed up. I straightened, figuring we’d get down to business now. Instead, the newcomers simply joined in on the internet conversation, which had now strayed into MySpace and stealing wireless internet.
After about a half hour of this, I took advantage of a momentary lull to ask, “Um…so, are we going to talk about the trial?”
Twelve sets of eyes turned to me. Silence.
I shifted uncomfortably. “I mean. Isn’t that why we’re here? To reach a decision?”
Weak Chin finally spoke. “Already reached mine. Clyde.”
The demoness with magenta lips glared at him. “Starla.”
“Kurtis.”
“Starla.”
They went around the room. Four, four, and four.
“What about you?” asked Magenta Lips.
“Um, well…I don’t know. That’s why I figured we’d be discussing it.”
“Nothing to discuss,” said another demon.
“How can you guys be so—” I stopped myself. “Oh. The bribes. That’s why you’re voting.”
“Of course,” chuckled Peanut Butter. “Why else?”
“I don’t know…to get to the truth.”
They all started laughing again. Even more than when craigslist had been mentioned.
“Darling, you’ve got a lot to learn.”
“What do you expect? Putting a succubus on a jury.”
“Well, yeah, but fuck. That was brilliant. Jerome’s drinking mai tais somewhere while we have to put up with this shit.”
“And a goddamned Marriott too.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. A moment later, I opened them.
“Okay,” I said. “Even if you’re voting by bribe, we still have to reach a unanimous decision.”
They considered, and then, the whole room burst into noise. Arguments broke out as everyone tried to convince/bully others into voting their way. It was dizzying. Most of them tried to do it by offering bribes of their own. There was more negotiating than in a game of Monopoly. Some, however, tried to do it by force. As I’d noted earlier, this wasn’t the most powerful group of demons I’d ever seen, but they could compete with each other. As tempers rose, I felt power flare, filling the room like static before a storm.
I shrank back, briefly considered turning invisible, but knew it wouldn’t matter with this group.
Finally, after a few more hours, our deliberation ended for the day. We dispersed, off to do our different things. No decision had been reached.
I left the room, nearly dizzy. Fuck. What had that all been about? We weren’t going to reach a decision any time this millennium. I’d be stuck in Los Angeles forever. Seth would marry Beth and have ten kids. I’d have to move in furniture to the Marriott.
Speaking of Seth, I decided seeing him was exactly what I needed. That calm nature would help soothe my frazzled nerves and forget the day’s insanity.
I’d reached the lobby when I felt someone walking with me.
“How’d it go?”
I glanced over at Kurtis’ laughing face. I sighed. So much for forgetting the insanity.
“Not so well.”
“Hmm. Not surprised. Bribes have been flying fast and furious. What’s the split right now?”
“Four, four, and four.”
“Really? I’m surprised it isn’t even more split.”
I stared. “How could it be more split than that?”
“Write-ins.” He grinned. “What’s your vote?”
“I don’t have one.”
His eyebrows rose in mock astonishment. “Really? Even with all the lovely things you’ve been offered?”
“I told you. I don’t go for that.”
“How are things with your guy?”
“Fine,” I said automatically. “We have a great relationship.”
“But not the kind where you wrap your bodies around each other and break out the handcuffs.”
“Will you stop this?” I asked. “I already told you I’m not going for any of that. You’re wasting your time.”
“If your relationship’s so great, then why isn’t he here?”
“Because he’s working.”
“With Golden Girl.”
“No,” I declared loftily. “He’s not even at that diner today.”
“Why? Are they closed?”
“I have places to be,” I snapped.
“Of course you do. Off to beg for his attention, right? Make him notice you with your stunning wit and charm, hoping desperately to keep him captivated while his eyes and thoughts stray to other women…”
In normal circumstances, I never would have walked out on a demon. But Kurtis was powerless to hurt me just now, so I picked up my pace and stormed out the front doors. I knew he could have easily reached me again, but fortunately, he didn’t.
I crossed the street over to the coffee shop Seth had gone to and paused in front of the window. He sat there working, no cute waitresses in sight. I breathed a sigh of relief.
My insecurity embarrassed me. There was no reason I should let Kurtis’ words get to me. I knew that. I trusted Seth. I trusted his love. Yet…the demon had been effective. Not surprising, of course. He was, well, a fucking demon. And Seth had refused my advances last night.
I stared at Seth, willing the queasy feeling in my chest to go away.
Hoping desperately to keep him captivated while his eyes and thoughts stray to other women…
Not tonight, Thetis.
I swallowed. And then…I did the craziest thing I’d done in a while. I slipped into the coffee shop, carefully avoiding his line of sight. Not that it would have mattered. He was so engrossed, like always, that a marching band could have come through without him noticing. I went straight to the bathroom, shut the door, and changed my shape.
Into Beth.
A barista gave me a startled look when I stepped out. I think he’d seen me go in in my usual shape. But a few seconds later, he shook his head, apparently deciding he’d imagined it. That’s how mortals were. They didn’t expect the fantastic in their lives, so they tended to rationalize it when it happened.
Clad in blond, hourglass glory, I walked over to Seth’s table.
“Hey,” I said, hoping I had her voice right. I’d only heard her a couple of times.
There was a delay, as usual, then he looked up. “Hey,” he said, clearly surprised. But he didn’t look displeased. “What are you doing here?”
I shrugged. “Was walking by and saw you. I need some coffee…mind if I join you?”
He frowned. “I thought you didn’t like coffee.”
Fuck.
“Once in a while I do,” I said evasively. “The only way I can get a real caffeine kick sometimes.”
He nodded, thankfully not questioning it too much. After getting a cup of drip, I sat down across from him.
“So, how’s progress today?” I asked.
“Slow,” he admitted. “It happens sometimes.”
A lapse of silence fell. I tried to think of something that idiotic fan girl would say.
“Slow for you is probably ten times faster than what I can write.” Recycled material, but what could you do? Praying they hadn’t had this conversation before, I asked, “How’d you get published in the first place?”
He smiled. “Slush pile.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s where unimportant aspiring authors go when they’re trying to get published. It often gets ignored. Or sorted by interns.”
I frowned. “Then how did you get noticed?”
“Mmm…well, agents still go through it. They just take a while sometimes. Or sometimes you get a savvy intern.”
“I thought only actors have agents.”
“Everyone selling themselves has an agent.”
“Is yours good?”
He nodded. “She’s got me some great deals.” He paused. “I’m not convinced she has a soul, though. The best ones never do.”
“You know a lot of soulless people?” I asked glibly.
He flinched. “Um, yeah. Some.”
Then, just like in the Robert Frost poem, two paths diverged in the woods. I could either make Beth sound completely idiotic and see if Seth would lose interest. Or, I could aim for compelling and captivating to see if he’d go for it.
I wasn’t really good at idiotic.
“I dated a guy once who I’m pretty sure didn’t have a soul.” Beth’s fictitious past rolled off my lips like it was my own. “He was a lawyer. I swear, I used to hear him mumble in his sleep at night. I think he was chanting Doors songs backwards.”
“That’s evidence of being soulless?”
“You seen Jim Morrison? That guy was so hot that there’s no way he didn’t have some deal with the devil.”
Seth laughed genuinely, and I saw it. The interest in his eyes.
I pushed forward, chatty and funny, trying to do it in a way that was interesting but didn’t sound like a Georgina clone. To my dismay, Seth forgot all about the laptop and displayed none of his usual reticence in conversation. He spoke to Beth as easily as if she were, well, me.
An hour or so later, I made my move.
“I know you’ve got a girlfriend,” I said hesitantly. “And I know you couldn’t do coffee the other day…but…I’d love to keep hanging out, and I’m really hungry. Do you think maybe you’d like to go grab some food? I’m starving, and I know a great place. And it’d be just as friends.”
Seth’s good humor faltered. “Well…I would…but, well, I’ve got to meet her later on. I don’t have the time. I mean, but I would otherwise. It sounds fun.”
This was true. Seth and I had made dinner plans. He had a legitimate excuse. But what if he didn’t…?
Stop this, Georgina, I told myself. This trial’s unhinging you. You’re moving into psycho territory.
“Okay. No problem,” I said, smiling and open. I stood up. “Hey, I’ll be right back.”
I headed into the bathroom and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed Seth’s number.
“Hey,” he said when he answered.
“Hey,” I returned, back to Georgina’s voice.
“How’s the jury thing going?”
“Ugh. It sucks,” I grumbled. “Finally wrapped up for the day.”
“Ah, cool.”
“But, I’ve got some bad news. I got sucked into some dinner thing. I’m not going to be able to see you until a lot later.”
A long pause.
“That’s okay…I can fend for myself.”
“I’m really sorry…I feel like I’ve been neglecting you.”
“Nah, it’s okay. Really.”
“Cool. I’ll catch you later.”
We disconnected, and I walked back to the table, fully in Beth mode.
“Back,” I said, returning to my chair.
Seth smiled. This time it was the bemused, pensive smile he got when he was thinking hard about something. Finally, I saw a decision snap into his eyes.
“So…hey. Maybe we can do dinner after all…”