14
Like an invisible hammer had plowed into her midsection, Vyxen was thrown back against the bathroom wall with so much force she punched right through it, leaving a giant gaping hole in her wake.
I shot up from the bed, running to her without a moment’s hesitation. I hated her, but now that the fog of demon energy had extinguished itself, I knew I should never have allowed myself to get as worked up as I had. Hate her or not, Vyxen was part of my family.
She was sprawled in my tub, legs dangling over the edge as she stared up at the ceiling with a dazed expression.
“Vyx, talk to me.” I grabbed her by the shoulders and slapped her cheeks a couple of times before she finally was able to focus her gaze on me.
“What just happened?”
“I had a power surge and you took a direct hit.”
Gone was the uptight snob; Vyxen was visibly shaking and clearly still a little perplexed by how she’d wound up in my bathtub with bits of plaster and slivers of wood all over her and the floor.
“Why’d you touch me?” I asked her.
“Because I want what you have,” she said softly, and this time there was no malice or hate behind it. She was stating a simple truth. “I’ve always wanted what you have.”
“Why do you hate me so much?”
Her dark brows gathered, that ugly blue wig she’d worn had fallen off her head, revealing the nut-brown elfin cut that actually made her long face look ten times more striking.
“Who said I hate you?” There was such a stark honesty in her gaze that the shame of what I’d done hit me like a ten-ton weight smack in the chest.
A loudly clearing throat made me turn on my heel. Luc was in the doorway, eyes wide and peering around the bathroom that looked as if it’d just been nuked.
“What happened?” he asked, but then the moment his eyes landed on me, he stuttered, “Dora... What...? You’re healed.”
“What?” Standing, heart throbbing so hard in my chest I could taste it beating on the back of my tongue, I walked over to the mirror and couldn’t believe it. Just seconds before Vyxen had grabbed me, I’d been a bubonic-plague poster child. I ran my hands over my throat and then shoved the sweater up. My breasts, stomach, nothing... All smooth, perfect skin met my gaze. Twisting around, I gaped at my bottom.
Brushing my fingers across it, I shook my head. “I don’t know what just happened.”
Luc was helping a still-shaky Vyxen from the tub. She clung to him like a wet, helpless kitten.
“She glowed green.” Vyxen pointed at me.
“Glowed green?” Luc had his arm wrapped around her waist, helping her to regain her equilibrium.
Then I remembered I was royally pissed with him. My jaw jutted out. “What are you doing here?”
His nostrils flared. “I heard the explosion and came as fast as I could. Why were you glowing green, does it have something to do with the bite?”
He knew I was pissed. Luc knew me. It didn’t matter how long he’d been screwing Vyx, in many ways he was a soul mate to me. We’d grown up together, seen the world together; he was the other half of me.
Yeah, smug prick was always hot and bothered about the secrets I kept. Well this was a doozy he’d been keeping from me. Raw and upset, I blurted it out.
“No, it’s from when I went to Hell. I was possessed by Pestilence. That’s what you sucked into yourself, Vyxen.”
“Pestilence?” His voice went low and he had the nerve to look upset that I hadn’t told him.
I swatted at a cloud of plaster that floated past my nose. Dammit, I was going to have my hands full cleaning this trailer. I’d so wanted to preserve it exactly as Kemen had left it, but that was next to impossible now. Freaking Vyxen and her need to always take.
Lifting a brow, I crossed my arms, breathing a sigh when it didn’t hurt. “What do you want me to say, Luc, huh?”
“You never told me about Pestilence. Is that why you’ve been so...” His eyes shot almost guiltily to Vyxen before his words drifted off.
“Don’t worry, Vyxy gave me all the gory details. Your secret’s out. Hope you two have a great life. Don’t forget to send me a wedding invitation.”
It really didn’t matter to me that Vyxen was currently in his arms, and that neither one of us was even taking her into consideration. The cat would live, which was a lot more than I could say for my relationship with Luc. Far as I was concerned, we were officially over.
“Don’t do this here. Not right now,” he said, the thick burr in his voice a clear warning. “We have to talk you and me. But in private.”
His hand tightened on her waist and all I felt in that moment was a giant wave of disgust. “No, we don’t. Far as I’m concerned, who you screw is your business and who I screw is mine. You and me, we aren’t.” Tossing my hands up, I shook my head. Wow, it’d been so much easier to say than I thought it would be.
He flinched. The rough-and-tumble exterior cracked for just a split second, and from the corner of my eye I saw Vyxen’s hand creep up his chest, patting it like she had a right to. Like it would help him, heal him. Stop him from tearing the roof off my trailer because I knew that’s what he wanted to do.
“You need to go, Luc, right now. And take your kitten with you.”
His eyes shivered with threads of Lust and I quickly turned my face to the floor. Never again. Not from him. Ever.
“I’ll be back.” His voice was full of grit and gravel.
“Don’t bother.” I stood there, a towering presence of rage and righteous fury, until they traced, until I knew I was alone, and then I collapsed onto the edge of the bed as the truth began to finally sink its way into my brain.
I gripped the edge of the bed and visions played in my mind, memories of him and me. And looking back, I couldn’t even try to pinpoint when it’d all gone to hell. Luc and I made me think of the analogy where if you sit a frog in lukewarm pot of water and slowly crank the stove up, it would never realize that all it needed to do was jump out to prevent itself from getting killed. Because the change happened so gradually, it never even saw it coming until it was much too late to do anything about it.
My life, who I was, and everything I did, I did for the sake of the only family I knew. For the Neph that I loved.
I sniffed, fighting the betraying heat welling behind my eyelids. But as much as I loved my band, I wasn’t sure any of them felt a tenth for me of what I felt for them. Kemen, maybe. And he’d been the only one. Bubba was the next closest, but we weren’t all that close and after what I’d done to him tonight, probably not at all anymore. The only thing I knew about the Norseman was that he loved to listen to country music cranked up as high as he could get it on his days off while he glugged beer after beer, shooting at rusted-out tin cans.
Who he really was, why he’d adopted such an unusual Southern drawl for a Neph who’d been born during the day of the Vikings, was a complete and total mystery to me. Lilith, Kane, Stryker, even Vyxen—I didn’t really know any of them.
The only one I’d ever known fully was Luc.
Or so I’d thought.
How could he keep her a secret from me?
I grabbed my stomach.
Thinking about them, about Luc, was no good for my sanity. I wasn’t wasting another minute of my life on him. Determined, I stood and went in search of a broom and dustpan.
Fifteen minutes later, I’d managed to clean up the worst of the damage. Now it was just a giant hole in the wall instead of a hole and a war zone.
“Pandora?” That warm scratchy inflection washed through me, making my lashes flutter with want and need.
Twirling, I tackled Asher to the ground. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just breathed him in.
“Whoa, what’s the matter? I leave for a few hours and come back to find you healed and your home practically destroyed.” His hand glided up and down my spine, making me shudder and lean farther into his touch.
“I just need you to hold me for a second, Ash,” I murmured against his neck, brushing my lips against his soft skin.
He sighed and shook his head, then after a bit he widened his legs so that he was cradling me.
After a few more minutes, he kissed my brow. “The not knowing is killing me. Was this a zombie attack?”
“No.” I sighed and reluctantly got back to my feet, helping him up too. “Did you know?”
He gave me a blank stare. “Know what?”
“About Luc and Vyxen?”
His face scrunched into a grimace. “What about them, Pandora? I’m walking blind here.”
It was probably not very cool to ask my new boy toy/boyfriend/sex toy (ugh, labels... I really hate them) about my old flame, but Asher knew he wasn’t gonna get easy when he chose me.
“That they’ve been screwing like bunnies for the past two years.”
“Really? You’re asking me that?” He looked seriously insulted and it so wasn’t what I wanted to do. “Do you think I give a shit what those two have been up to?” His lip pulled back and my heartbeat ratcheted up.
I shouldn’t be so turned on right now, but there was no denying the sudden flashes of heat sizzling through my blood.
The man made wicked sexy.
Grabbing his hands before he tried to walk off on me, I tugged him back to my side. “No lies with you. Ever. You hear me? Luc and I screwed us up from the very beginning. I don’t ever want to do that with you.”
His jaw was still clenched tight and I knew I was pushing all his alpha caveman buttons right now, but we had to clear the air now before the ghost of relationships past killed us.
“Ash, I like you. More than is sane, more than I probably should. But I’m terrified. Because the last time I trusted my whole heart and soul to someone, they didn’t just break it, they mangled it.”
Finally I seemed to have gotten through to him. Brushing his thumb across my cheek, he positioned me so that we were directly facing each other.
“Little demon...”
My heart totally melts every time he calls me that, just sayin’...
“I meant everything I said in that cave today. My feelings for you have only grown through the years and each time I saw your capacity for love and kindness, I knew I was lost. I am lost. Your safety, your heart”—he pressed his palm to my breast—“it means everything to me. Everything.”
“Stalking shouldn’t be such a turn-on for me. I’m seriously disturbed in the head.” I laughed to break the tension because my stomach was completely flipping over on itself right now.
No one, and I mean literally no one, had ever shared themselves like this with me before. It was terrifying and highly addictive.
He chuckled. “It’s not like I was constantly spying on you. In fact, I only saw you naked once and that was an accident.” Then his hand, which had been holding my face, dipped to my breast and his eyes were liquid as he said, “But once was enough to memorize every swell and indentation. The cute mole kissing the nape of your neck. Those rosy tips of your nipples and the graceful lines of your long, athletic legs.”
I gulped, breath growing heavy from the pressure of his hand on me. Wishing like hell I wasn’t wearing this sweater right now.
“But I won’t share you. I’m not built that way.”
“How are you built?”
“I have found the paradox—that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love.”
I smiled. “Mother Teresa.”
His hand slid across my shoulders and down my arms. “That is how I’m built. There will only ever be one for me. I’ll worship you, I’ll give you all of me, little demon, I’ll even kill for you. But only if you can do the same.”
The blood was rushing like a tsunami wave through my ear canals, booming so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts.
“The entire world is stacked against us.” I shook my head. “Your people, the Order, Hell, LCD, Nephilim. If you think Luc was pissed, just wait till you see what’ll happen when I introduce you to my family.”
Sliding his fingers through mine, his thumb rubbed the webbing between my own. “When you introduce me?”
Lips twitching, I rolled my eyes. “You didn’t answer me. You’re a death priest, Ash, there will be death threats and lots of them.”
“Yeah, and if I can’t handle a few measly Nephilim, what kind of priest am I?”
It’s not like we weren’t touching already, but I needed more. Tugging his hand, I pulled him down onto the bed and crawled under the sheets, dragging him along with me. Sitting up, I pulled Kemen’s sweater off and turned to him, completely naked. It’s not like he hadn’t seen me before, but this felt like the first time to me.
I was blushing as his hot gaze scoured my body.
“You’re so damn beautiful,” he whispered and the fact that he wasn’t actually touching me but just looking at me like he wanted to eat me whole was such a freaking turn-on.
“Your turn.” I nibbled my lip and jerked my chin at him.
He didn’t ask me why, or what I had planned. Asher stood and I wet my lips as my blood pressure soared. If I were human, I’d have been in full-on cardiac arrest.
Holding my gaze as if daring me to flinch or turn away, he stripped. He took off his shirt and I gasped.
Asher had a beautiful body—broad shouldered with hard ropes of muscles flexing on his chest and abs. His skin was tanned and toned. His waist tapered into a vee at his hips and there was a dark treasure trail that begged the eyes to follow it down.
But that wasn’t what made me gasp. I’d known Ash would be a hard body, and sexy as he was, he was by far not the prettiest man I’d ever seen. After all, I was surrounded by a freakish pack of bangable alpha males.
No, it was the crisscrossing of faint white lines drawn all over him. Anywhere clothes would cover the marks.
Scooting forward, I tentatively reached out to trace one. “You’re covered in scars.”
He didn’t flinch when I drew my finger down a line that ran from his nipple to his belly button. When his eyes closed at my touch and with the way his skin pebbled, I realized he actually liked it.
The amount of damage that would have needed to be inflicted to leave these scars would have been severe. Hating that he’d ever felt this kind of pain, I kissed it. Starting at the very top, right by his nipple, I kissed and worked my way slowly and gently down the long line. By the time I was done, he was panting and staring at me with need.
“The rest,” I demanded.
Again, he said nothing. Just grabbed the button of his jeans and undid it. They slid down his legs and if I hadn’t been sitting already, I might have stumbled back unceremoniously.
His legs were tight, the muscles clearly delineated. There was a light brown dusting of leg hair; even the thatch surrounding his cock was dark. A pretty lame joke popped into my head just then—“So, you’re a real brunette then, huh?” Thankfully I never actually said it.
Probably because I was completely absorbed by the fact that my straightlaced death priest had a Prince Albert piercing on his thick appendage.
It was an effort, but I finally forced my eyes from there, only to note that even his legs were covered in scars. In fact, apart from his neck, face, and arms, he was full of them.
“Asher.” I circled his leg with my arms and pressed a kiss to his inner thigh. “What is all this? Don’t priests heal?”
When I looked at his face I saw the anguish reflected there. Not wanting him to think for one second that I didn’t like him just the way he was, I continued to lightly stroke him.
“Ahh.” He slowly expelled a long breath, then moved so that he could rejoin me back in the bed. “Little Demon, there are some wounds that will never heal.”
Lying down, I pulled him beside me and he immediately crossed his legs over mine.
“I think you’re beautiful,” I whispered.
His lips twisted. “I don’t disgust you?”
Toying with the end of one of his dark curls, I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Then I kicked off the sheets and stretched out with my arms above my head. “Your turn, look at me. All of me.”
“You don’t need to do this. I showed myself to you, knowing I’m nothing like what you’re used to.”
“You’re right, you’re nothing like Luc or any other male Neph in this place.” Total transparency—Asher would never get anything less than the truth from me. “And that’s what intrigues me so much.” I ran my finger down the bridge of his nose. “First time I met you, I fell for your eyes. Because they were warm and brown. Not lavender, not jade or sapphire or glowing like molten rubies... but because they were so perfect it literally took my breath. And when I saw you die”—I closed my eyes—“a part of me died too. Asher, from the moment we’ve met, you’re all I’ve wanted.”
His lashes fluttered and a deep sigh escaped him. He sat up. It was his turn to look. Every bed partner I’d ever taken, I’d transformed into whatever vision of sexy they wanted so I was always perfect for them. There was no fear of not measuring up, of having them witness my flaws.
That my breasts, while perky, weren’t very large. That my stomach, while flat and toned, had the tiniest bump at the bottom. That there was a dimple in both my butt cheeks, and that I too bore a horrible scar—I was terrified and had to close my eyes when his fingers traced the jagged edges of the heart.
He spent a long time tracing it, learning it, before doing to it as I’d done to him and kissing its very center.
I hissed and almost died when a dry sobbing sound escaped my lips. Gentle fingers stroked my jaw.
“Some wounds never heal,” I whispered back at him.
“This one will, little demon. This one will.”
And it was in that moment, in that room, that I allowed myself to fall in love again.