Laughter over the dinner table. Banter during the cleaning up. Then Gram in her chair, knitting while they watched television. Sean stretched out on the couch with his head in her lap. She could stroke his hair or give him a kiss in the kitchen and not feel like a fraud. And without the Kowalskis stirring up trouble, they’d fallen into a comfortable evening routine that felt a little more real every day.
It was a tourism commercial for Florida that popped her bubble. It was a too-cheerful reminder that in less than a week, Gram would be flying back to North Fort Meyers. And that meant Sean would be leaving, too.
She’d be alone again. She hadn’t minded it before—had enjoyed having the big house all to herself—but now she couldn’t imagine sitting alone and watching TV. Or heating up a microwave meal. Not having anybody to talk to or to laugh with.
It wasn’t only Gram she couldn’t imagine her life without. It was Sean, and that scared her so badly she nudged him and told him she wanted to get up.
“You okay?” He touched her face, clearly concerned.
“Fine. I just need to…I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
She went upstairs to their bedroom—her bedroom—and then locked herself in the little bathroom. Once there, she discovered a possible culprit for her emotional state, but she knew it was far worse than hormones on their monthly rollercoaster ride.
Despite his warnings, she’d gone and gotten ideas about Sean. She was afraid she’d fallen in love with him and there was nothing she could do to talk herself out of it now.
Just great, she thought, pressing the heels of her hands against her eyes in an effort to stem the tears. Now she had to pretend not to the love the man she was pretending to love while pretending she wasn’t sleeping with him.
Sean gave Emma twenty minutes before he decided to go after her. Something had obviously upset her, and he suspected it was the Florida commercial. Now that she was in her last week with Gram, it had probably hit her she’d be going home soon.
“Do you want to pause this?” Cat asked him when he got up off the couch.
“No, go ahead and watch it. I’m going to check on Emma. I think…I think maybe she doesn’t feel good, so I’m not sure if we’ll be back down or not.”
She gave him a warm smile and went back to her knitting, so he went up the stairs and into their room. Emma was curled up on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket, and she’d brought her pillow.
“What happened?” he asked, crouching down next to her and pushing her hair back from her face. She wasn’t crying, but she had recently.
“Nothing.”
“Was it the commercial? The one about Florida?” She hesitated a few seconds, then nodded. “I’ll miss her, too. She’s a great lady.”
A tear spilled onto Emma’s cheek and he wiped it away. “Is that all that’s bothering you?”
She lifted one shoulder in a half-ass shrug. “I’m just tired.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Then we’ll go to bed. Why are you on the couch?”
“Because…” She sniffled and her cheeks turned pink. “It’s, um…that time.”
“Oh.” Plumbing issues, as his uncle so delicately referred to that time, explained a lot. “You’ll be more comfortable in the bed.”
She shook her head and pulled the blanket up over her face, so he stood and considered his options. He could go back downstairs and finish watching the show with Cat, but he didn’t really like leaving Emma alone, not that there was anything he could do to ease her misery. And he couldn’t stand next to the couch all night watching her, so he went into the bathroom and got ready for bed.
After turning off the light and punching his pillow into shape, Sean sprawled on the bed and tried to force himself to sleep. He had the whole bed to himself and he didn’t have to share the covers, so it should have been all good.
But he was too aware of her across the room and he didn’t want her there. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep with her there. He wanted her next to him, where she was supposed to be.
His eyes flew open and he flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. That was wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be sleeping next to him. She was supposed to be sleeping on the couch, which was exactly where she was. What they had between them wasn’t real, so he should be able to do something as simple as fall asleep without her in his arms, dammit.
He’d be leaving in less than a week. He’d probably go back to the apartment over Jasper’s Bar & Grille. Or, screw it, maybe he’d go back to Maine and stay at the Northern Star until he figured out what he wanted to do. Or hop in his truck and drive to New Mexico to check on his sister.
No matter what he did or where he went, there’d be no more Emma for him.
When she sniffled and then shifted for what seemed like the tenth time in two minutes, Sean had had enough. She wasn’t on the couch because she was more comfortable there. She was there because she didn’t think he’d share the bed if there was no sex in it for him. He got up and walked across the bedroom. Then he threw the blanket across the back of the couch and scooped her up, pillow and all, to carry her to the bed.