“So harsh! I thought Rachel’s life was chilling you out a bit.” He takes a drag and exhales, blowing a smoke ring that disintegrates inches from my face, and I move my body to shield Charlotte from the smoke.
“Please,” I gasp, out of breath from chasing him. “Please tell us how to change back. We’ve learned our lesson.”
“Have you?” He laughs. “It didn’t sound like it just now in the ballroom.”
“Seriously, what kind of magic is this? Is it a curse? Tell me how to make it right. Please,” I plead, choking back tears. “I just want my life back.”
“Do you? Do you really want it back?” He throws the cigarette down and stubs it out with his Vans tennis shoe. “Was it really so great? Were you really so happy?”
“It wasn’t perfect. But it was my life.”
“You’re right,” he says. “ But . . .”
“But, what?”
“I guess I’m just wondering why there’s only one of you standing up here right now.”
I look back toward the door, wondering again where Rachel is. And when I turn back, Brian’s gone.
? ? ?
As I walk carefully back down the stairs holding Charlotte tightly, wiping the tears from my face, I hear my own voice carrying up the stairwell. “Fantastic! No, no, that’s great news.” I walk into the ballroom and see Rachel, phone to her ear. “Okay. I can’t wait to see you either.”
I freeze. Is she talking to Charlie?
She hangs up and turns to face me. “Hey, sorry about that.”
“Sorry about what? The fact that you didn’t move a muscle while I hauled Charlotte up two flights of stairs chasing the one person who can help us switch back? Or sorry I just heard you talking to Charlie like you’re some lovesick teenager? How many times do I have to tell you not to get involved with him?”
“Calm down. It’s not what you think.”
“Then please, enlighten me.” I move Charlotte to my left hip.
“You just tore out of here, I wasn’t sure who or what you were chasing. And then I had to take a work-related call.”
“Do you want to switch back?”
“What?”
“You heard me. Do you even want to switch back? Do you want your old life back or have you decided that mine suits you better?”
“What kind of question is that? Of course I want my life back!”
“Do you?” I ask again. “Because you seem to be getting quite comfortable in Casey Lee’s life.” I sit down at the nearest table, pull out a bottle for Charlotte, and hand it to her.
Rachel takes the empty seat next to me. “Do I really have a choice? Would you rather be out of a job right now?” She shakes her head. “And please, let’s not forget that you seem to be pretty comfortable playing house with John and the kids.” She points to Charlotte, half asleep on my lap. “Don’t you think that’s hard on me too? Even Charlotte seems to like you better than me.”
“Stop,” I say.
“Come on, I’m not stupid. Audrey’s never been happier since you’ve been there.” She sighs. “John, too.”
“How would you even know? You haven’t been around. If you really wanted your life back you wouldn’t have let a silly fight with me keep you away from your family. Just be careful. You know how much I’ve given up to be where I am. I’d hate to see you make the same mistakes.”
Rachel starts to say something, but stops.
“Speechless, huh? That’s what I thought. And for what it’s worth, it’s not better without you around, it’s just different. And if it makes you feel better, Sophie still seems as wildly unhappy as she did before.”
“Now, that I believe.” Rachel laughs and puts her hand on mine and squeezes it lightly. “Tell me. What did Brian say?”
“He thought it was pretty interesting that I was the only one who chased him down like her life depended on it.”
Rachel doesn’t answer. “Did he say anything else? Anything helpful?”
“No. Nothing,” I say and run my hands through Charlotte’s hair. “We’re in deep shit, aren’t we?”
“Yep.”
CHAPTER 26
* * *
rachel
I lean into the plush leather seat in the back of the limo and take a drink from the bottle of Fiji Water the driver left for me, next to a copy of USA Today. These perks used to make me feel uncomfortable, but I’ve started to look forward to them. I curl my legs underneath me and watch the ocean slowly disappear from view as we turn onto the freeway and head toward the studio. I wonder: Why didn’t I chase Brian too?