“Where has Little C been anyway? Out of town?” John asks.
“She’s been in New York,” I say, not wanting to talk about Rachel. Not wanting to think about our fight, the harsh words we both said. How this body-swapping thing has only driven us further apart. Wondering again what the point of it all has been. And if we ever switch back, will we be able to stay friends?
“New York! Wow, that girl, she really gets to live the life.”
“I don’t think her life is all it’s cracked up to be,” I respond lightly and turn to stare at the view.
“Hey, are you feeling jealous again? Is this because she finally beat Access L.A.?” He laughs sheepishly, and then catching the confused expression on my face, adding, “I do read the entertainment section occasionally.”
Jealous? Again? Was Rachel jealous of me?
“I’m not jealous,” I say defensively. “Why in the world would I be jealous? I’ve got a husband, a family. I’ve never even had to hold down a real job!” I regret the words the minute they leave my mouth. I know now that being home with three kids is probably the hardest job I’ll ever have.
“Hold on.” John puts his hands up. “Don’t be like that. We’re having such a nice time.” He reaches over and strokes my arm. “It just seems like Casey’s really hitting her stride at work lately, that’s all.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” I say quietly and lean into the curve of his arm despite myself.
“Hey,” John says gently. “It’s not too late for you to live out your dreams too. I know you’ve been dead set against going back to work, but if Casey’s success is getting to you, then maybe it’s time for you to get back out there. Didn’t you just say it’s never too late to reinvent yourself??”
“I don’t know,” I say, wondering what the real Rachel would do. Most people in TV are over the hill at forty, not just getting their feet wet. And what else is she qualified for?
“It’s just that, there’s definitely something different about you ever since we went to the reunion.”
I take a huge gulp of my drink. “I can explain . . .” I start to mumble.
“Shhh . . .” He puts a finger to my lips and I’m terrified he’s going to kiss me. “I don’t really care what happened. I just thought you wanting to go back to work might be the reason behind it. All I know is that the woman I fell in love with is back. We’re back.” He signals the server for another round. “I was starting to think we might have lost us forever.”
I gaze back at him, humbled by his kind words. This was the John I had known for years, the one who would walk over hot coals for Rachel. The one who would borrow a hundred-thousand-dollar car from God-knows-who and drive over an hour to have a drink and watch the sunset with her. I only wish she was here to see it instead of gallivanting all over New York with the one man I’ve ever cared about. “I thought we had too. It’s nice to see us again.”
John leans in to kiss me and I turn my cheek at the last second. “What?” he says, looking hurt, and I’m worried I’ve ruined the moment.
I point to my throat. “I think I’m getting sick. I don’t want you to catch it.”
He looks relieved. “Well, we can do other things later that don’t require kissing.”
I put what I hope looks like a smile on my face and whisper in his ear, “I’ve got my period, honey. Sorry.”
CHAPTER 24
* * *
rachel
I hit delete, erasing the email to Casey I spent the last hour writing and rewriting. It doesn’t matter how I arrange the words, when I read them back, they sound hollow and fake. And maybe they are. Maybe I’m trying too hard. We haven’t spoken since our fight a few days ago (the longest I can remember being mad at each other since I talked her into that spiral perm in junior high). And even though we’ve literally never been closer—I’m inside her body!—we’ve never been further apart. Of all the times to be in an argument. My phone beeps and I grab it.
Downstairs. Can’t wait to see you.
A text message from Charlie. Here to take me to the black-tie party for GossipTV’s five-hundredth episode. Since the McKnight interview aired, it’s become Hollywood’s hottest ticket (the McKnights are even rumored to be dropping in). I take a last look in the full-length mirror, amazed at how beautiful Casey Lee looks in the short, sassy strapless gown picked out by Rachel Zoe, celebrity stylist. The one whose show I used to watch late at night on Bravo while wearing John’s sweat pants and breast-feeding Charlotte. The same one who hand-selected this gorgeous silk dress I’m wearing.
“Wow.” Charlie kisses me on the cheek and helps me into the limo.
“You clean up nice too,” I say with a laugh, instantly relaxing. “And you shaved.” I touch my hand to his smooth cheek.
He gives me a shy smile. “You like?”