CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
There was a viewing platform in Marfa built so that tourists could have a good vantage point to view The Lights. It was made up of a small stone building with a large wrap-around porch. Our group made our way up the stairs that lead to the porch after we’d reconvened in the parking lot.
I’d briefly met everyone at the bar before we left. Tom and Izzie were from England and they were backpacking across the United States before heading off “to university”. Izzie wore a black dress with her pin-straight blonde hair. Tom was dressed really well in a pair of ankle jeans, boots, and an army fatigue jacket. Drew, our tour guide, seemed incredibly odd, but I was happy to have a guide so I didn’t complain.
“ So do you guys know much about these lights?” Tom asked with a thick British accent as he started to roll his third cigarette of the night. He was chain-smoking. He’d pull out a bag of tobacco, roll it into a thin piece of paper, and lick it closed, repeating the process as soon as the previous cigarette was finished. I wondered when he had time to eat or drink.
“ Beck told me a little bit about them. That they’re supposed to be aliens?” I answered with a shrug. I tried to force my head to stop spinning by taking deep breaths, but nothing seemed to help.
Izzie smiled, “Yeah. That’s all we’ve heard as well.”
Drew, who’d been inspecting the perimeter of the rock wall for God knows what, stray javelinas maybe, turned when he heard us talking about the lights.
“ They ARE aliens,” he clarified with a sharp tone. Izzie and I shot each other a silly glance and I tried my hardest to stifle a laugh. Okay then.
“ The Lights were first sighted in 1957 and there have been many studies that claim to explain what the lights are, but I believe they’re examples of paranormal phenomena.” Drew’s facts were interesting, but his tone was going in one ear and out the other.
I turned my chin toward the sky and inspected the billions of stars floating over head. Beck and I had seen stars when we went camping our first night, but the stars in Marfa were on steroids. They were brilliant flickers of white against stark blackness. As I stared up trying to connect them all into made-up constellations, I felt closer to Caroline than I had since the last time I’d spoken to her on the phone.
“ The lights are going to look like small flickers of white light way out in the distance.”
I cast my gaze to where he was pointing, but still wasn’t convinced.
“ I only see that blinking radio tower,” I muttered, confused how that played a role in alien activity.
Drew shot me an annoyed glance, as if to say ‘dumb tourist’. “Everything to the left of the radio tower is Marfa lights. Everything to the right is just headlights.”
I tried to comprehend what he was talking about. I could see the radio tower, but I didn’t see lights on either side of it. Why were the lights on one side aliens, but not on the other side?
I didn’t want to ruin the moment for Beck, so I shrugged and kept my mouth closed.
“ I feel like you’re pulling our leg,” Tom laughed toward Drew, rolling another cigarette. Meanwhile, Izzie pulled out a bottle of cheap champagne from her backpack, apparently uninterested in finding the lights at all. Drew stared daggers at them.
“ Will we know when we see them?” Beck asked.
“ Yes,” Drew groaned.
“ Alriiighty then,” Beck answered. He kept his arm wrapped around me and propelled us toward the ledge and away from the group.
We turned to look back out onto the desert landscape. To be honest, I didn’t really think we’d see anything. It seemed impossible to find something when I had no clue what I was looking for. The stars were distracting and I had to concentrate hard to block out their appeal. Beck and I didn’t budge. We stared off into the distance, trying to stay as still as possible. My eyes scoped every inch of the blackness, and then finally a glow of bright white light came into view.
“ Beck!” I hissed, pointing toward the light, fearing it was about to flicker out.
“ I see it, too,” he spoke into my ear, and we stood there completely mesmerized. It looked like a soft glow of a lantern in the distance, except it was a sphere shape. It bounced and moved around the horizon line until it faded away after a few moments. My eyes were huge when I turned to Beck. “Holy crap! That’s so cool!”
“ We missed it!” Izzie cried. She and Tom were taking turns sipping from the champagne bottle and Drew was standing a few yards back with his arms crossed. His constipated expression said it all.
“ They’ll be back, you just have to wait. That one didn’t last as long as they usually do,” he huffed, as if he thought we weren’t deserving of the Light’s presence. I tried to give him a small smile, but he wouldn’t look in my direction.
We waited. All five of us stood at the edge of the porch in a line. No one said a word for fear that we would lose focus. I leaned into Beck, frustrated with my burning eyes. They were probably just dry from the desert air, but I tried to blink away the pain and focus on the night spread out before me.
If you’ve ever tried to see a shooting star, it felt a lot like that. You know, statistically speaking, that you’re bound to see one eventually. You just have to be patient and wait it out.
“ There!” Izzie called suddenly, pointing out to the left. My gaze flickered over and I spotted them right away. This time there were three dancing lights, flickering brighter than the first one we’d seen. We all shouted gleefully and watched them with sharp focus. They lingered longer than the first group had, growing in size and then dwindling to nothing.
The truth is, I didn’t care what they were: headlights, UFOs, a mirage caused from the temperature gradients in the desert. They moved on a backdrop of black sky, pulling my attention and stimulating a part of my mind that rarely got used in adulthood: wonderment. True amazement in the fact that I had no clue why they were there.
…
The campsite was quiet when we returned. Beck had to use the flashlight on his phone to lead us through the tents. The desert air had finally chilled and I was happy to be in the warmth of the teepee when we stepped inside and tied the flap.
“ Are you okay, Abby?” Beck asked with a concerned frown.
I was wondering how long I had until he asked me that question. I’d been quiet on the way home, fearing the worst but trying to stay calm about how sick I felt. Maybe it was just the flu. I didn’t want Beck to worry though.
“ I feel fine, just thinking about things,” I lied, bending down toward my bag. I couldn’t ignore my heavy heart, but I didn’t want Beck to catch on. I shoved my clothes aside and retrieved one of the condom wrappers from the box.
Beck’s eyebrow arched when he saw what I was reaching for, but he didn’t say a word.
“ Do you think this will be the last night of our trip?” I asked quietly as a melancholy feeling surrounded us. Beck’s frown deepened.
“ We should probably head back to Dallas tomorrow. I’m not sure how long we can put off real life,” he answered, staring at my scar peeking out from my dress. I swallowed and tried to push my fever aside. If we were going home tomorrow then I couldn’t let our last night go to waste. The magic that clung to us on this road trip would be wiped clean the moment we stepped foot in Dallas. Home represented decisions. Decisions that weighed me down so much that I could hardly breathe. I wasn’t ready to face them yet.
With small steps, I moved to Beck and wrapped my hands around his neck.
“ Then let’s make it count,” I whispered as my finger trailed along the back of his hair. Before he could answer, I pulled two towels off a shelf and tugged Beck out of the teepee and over to the outdoor showers. There was a chance that people were still awake in the camp, but we’d be quiet. I looked back to see the sinful grin spread across Beck’s lips.
“ Are you leading me where I think you’re leading me?” he asked.
I shrugged and threw him a smug smile.
The showers were empty when we walked inside. The rock wall was more than enough privacy from the rest of the world. Without a word, I stepped into one of the big stalls and started to unzip the back of my dress.
I turned to see Beck watching me as he pulled his shirt off over his head. He dropped it on a bench beside him and I let myself marvel at the sharp contours of his chest longer than usual. I didn’t want to rush, not when we’d never get this night back.
The night we saw the Marfa lights.
The night I told him I loved him as he stepped closer and helped me unzip my dress.
“ I know, Abby,” he answered with a whisper, and then tugged my dress over my head. “I love you, too.” We stood there, taking each other in, and then Beck reached behind me to twist the shower head to warm. Icy cold water shot out onto my back and I squealed, throwing myself into Beck’s arms.
“ Sorry,” Beck smiled into my hair, holding me against his warm body. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent. I wished I could have bottled it up; Beck mixed with the campground and fresh air.
When he reached down to kiss me, it didn’t feel rushed. It was slow and intimate. And when he pressed me back against the stone wall, he held my weight so that the rocks didn’t scrape my back. We murmured I love you under the stars, and the water dripped down around us as he thrust into me with such sweetness that I couldn’t hold the weight of my body up any longer. I let Beck lead us, and when I had that blissful orgasm in the shower of El Cosmico, I cried because I thought it might be the very last time.
I didn’t wake up that next morning.