With This Heart

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN





Each of the guys was better looking than the next. They were all different types. Tall, short, tan, and muscled. None of the men were dressed in drag; they had on normal, albeit very stylish, club attire. So what exactly was I going to be judging?

“ Ladies, Queens, Sisters…” Queen Bee began, “We have ten of the SEXIEST gay men Dallas has to offer here on stage for you.” She paused for a rowdy round of applause. “They’ll each have three minutes to dance their asses off and show us their best moves!” She stepped closer to me and wrapped her hand around my shoulders. “Our little Ruby Red will be picking the winner, so they’ll have to do everything in their power to impress her!” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I peered back to see a few of the men shoot me silly winks or blow kisses in my direction. I blushed a dark shade of crimson that I prayed the spotlight didn’t amplify.

The same Angel that had given Queen Bee the microphone earlier scurried onto the stage to place a pink barstool behind me. I didn’t miss the shy smile he shot one of the men standing in line behind me. I turned to see a sexy blonde guy blow him a kiss.

Suddenly, Queen Bee pushed me back toward the barstool and I did my best to climb onto it without revealing my underwear to the entire crowd.

“ DJ! Hit it. It’s time for contestant number one to strut his stuff!” Queen Bee clapped her hands and moved toward the edge of the stage. The blonde guy who’d grinned at the Angel started clapping his hands above his head. He strolled forward with a confident prance, throwing his arms up to get the crowd going even more…and then the real fun started.

He reached for the hem of his shirt and started tugging it up. Screams erupted from the crowd and I cupped a hand over my mouth as he pulled the shirt completely off. The next thing to go was the button on his jeans. He demurely popped it open and then shimmied his hips around in a circle before locking his eyes onto me. Oh crap . His finger pointed directly at me and his tongue licked his lips slowly.

I pressed back against the barstool and reached down to grip the seat with both hands. Was he going to touch me? Were they allowed to touch me? He strolled toward me until he was a few inches away from my chair and then dipped all the way to the ground and back up again, worshiping me like I was some goddess. I couldn’t contain my giggles or my blushing cheeks. Tequila will do that to you.

Sober-me would have been crawling out of my skin.

The music hit a new crescendo and he dropped his hips and swayed them back and forth seductively, then turned away from me and backed his ass up until it was almost touching my knees. I let out a nervous laugh as the crowd went wild. I had no clue what they expected me to do. His legs were spread eagle and his ass was popping up and down faster than I’d ever seen someone move.

So, I did what any logical girl would do. I reached out and spanked him, just once. I had no clue what came over me. It felt like an out-of-body experience.

“ There’s our little Ruby Red!” Queen Bee sang into the microphone, and I clasped a hand over my mouth in response.

Contestant number one finished his act and then stepped back in line, not even bothering to retrieve his scraps of discarded clothing. The next contestants passed in a blur of body parts and sexy dance moves. I saw flashes of male body parts I’d never seen before.

My favorite contestant, however, was the last one to go up. He was younger than the rest of them and had brown hair that reminded me of Beck’s. The crowd didn’t cheer for him in the beginning, and I instantly wanted to help him out.

I whistled and clapped my hands, and he shot me an appreciative smile. The contestant started clapping along with the beat, getting the entire crowd to join in with him. When he was satisfied that everyone was paying attention to him, he bolted off the stage and made his way through the crowd, crashing through people along his way. When he reached the bar, he hopped up on top and started working his magic. He was the best dancer out of all of them; he must have been classically trained because the kicks and spins he pulled out on that thin wood surface were too good to be accidents. I had to prop myself up onto my barstool to see over the crowd and I smiled when I saw him pick up someone’s drink and toss it back.

I lost sight of him for a few seconds and then his brown hair popped back out through the crowd. He was bee lining right for me with something held in his outstretched hand.

When he stopped in front of me, I looked down to see him holding the stem of a glistening cherry.

“ A cherry for you, Ruby Red,” he winked seductively, and then held it up so that I only had one option: to bite it off the stem while he held it out to me. I chanced a glance past him toward Queen Bee. Her grin was wide and approving. I leaned forward, meeting the contestant’s light brown eyes, and bit off the end of the cherry. The sweet juices coated my tongue and for a brief moment I pretended that the brunette contestant standing in front of me was Beck. The tequila made their similarities pop, so I leaned forward and kissed him, smack dab on the lips. His mouth tasted like strawberry Chap Stick and I pulled away giggling.


“ I’ve never kissed a gay man,” I admitted, loud enough for Queen Bee’s microphone to pick up the faint echo. My voice projected throughout the club’s speakers and everyone paused for a moment before going wild.

I looked over toward the final contestant and threw a hand over my mouth. He looked nothing like Beck. I was a tipsy fool and I didn’t care one way or the other.

I dubbed contestant number ten the winner. There were balloons, confetti, and a crazy light show. My head was spinning by the time I slid off the stage with Queen Bee.

“ Thanks for letting me go up there with you,” I said, walking out from behind the partition after I’d changed back into my normal clothes. My hair was still twirled in pretty waves and my make-up seemed thick enough to last a few years.

Queen Bee looked up at me from her director’s chair. “It was an honor. You’re welcome back any time. The crowd loved you.” She smiled at me, and we stood, taking each other in for a moment.

On stage, her drag queen get-up fit in so well, but now that we were back in the dressing room, I could see the glitter starting to sweat down her cheeks and one of her false eyelashes was starting to peel off at the edge.

“ Could I know your real name?” I asked boldly. I had no clue how the politics of this world worked. Was I supposed to understand that when we were in this club and when he was dressed up as a she, she was known as Queen Bee?

She looked at me for another second, tapping her manicured finger on her crossed knee. “Danny.”

I nodded in appreciation. It felt like he was letting me in on a little secret by revealing that to me. “My friend’s name was Caroline. I missed her death because I was in the middle of a road trip.”

I could already feel the tears fighting to fall.

Danny nodded twice slowly, letting my confession sink in. “Do you think she was upset about that?”

I thought about his question and then smiled at the memory of Caroline threatening to call in a bomb threat about me. “No. To be honest, I don’t think she was upset. I just wish I could’ve seen her one last time.”

The closure of a final goodbye seemed like it’d been ripped from my hands by fate.

“ Are you going to finish your road trip?” Danny asked, starting to unpin his pink wig.

Finish the road trip? I hadn’t even had time to consider it. Yes, we’d had fun, and the main reason for taking the journey hadn’t been even been accomplished. But I pushed the thoughts away. I couldn’t think of anything beyond dealing with Caroline’s death.

“ I’m not sure,” I answered truthfully.

After I’d collected all of my stuff, I hugged Danny, took his business card, and then bid my farewell to the best place on earth. No, not Disneyland. The Transing Pranny.

But the moment I passed through the doors, the hand clamped around my lungs once again and I struggled for breath.

Caroline was gone.





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