Wildest Dreams

chapter 26

September 1880

Katie walked up the steps of the new log building that sported a sign reading Billings Library. At Lettie's urging that she start socializing more, she had begun several months ago to join her mother at the women's club meetings, and it was at one of those meetings that she had proposed the idea of a library for Billings. All the women had raved that it was a wonderful thought. A library was another step forward in civilizing Billings, and through the library Katie planned to begin keeping records of local pioneers, those who had settled here first, where they were from, when they had first arrived and what businesses they ran or ranches or farms they had settled. It was part of Katie's plan to help her mother keep records that could be used to build a museum one day in honor of people like Will and Henny.

She felt good now about how receptive the women had been to the idea, and to her. All were kind and friendly, and she realized why her mother had wanted her to begin joining the meetings. Gradually over the past two years she had managed to come out of the shell into which she had withdrawn after her ordeal with the Walkers, and she loved her mother even more for the constant support she and her women friends had given her.

She carried a stack of new books inside, glowing from the fact that her father had also been proud of her desire to found a library. Luke had given the money necessary to put up the building, as well as making a generous contribution, along with other businessmen in town, toward buying books from New York and Chicago. Her parents, along with others, had also contributed books from their own libraries at home.

It was a dream project for Katie, who loved books more than jewels or pretty clothes or anything else she could think of. For five days out of every week she lived at the Stowe's boardinghouse on Will and Henny's old property, sharing a room with a new female teacher from Chicago, a widow named Yolanda Brown. Mrs. Brown had been hired to assist the town's only other teacher, Howard Task, who had been hired out of Kansas through an ad the Billings citizens had placed because of a great need for a school for the evergrowing community. Her father and other businessmen had built a large, two-room school last summer, and already two teachers were needed. Sometimes Katie also helped teach, but most of her time was spent organizing the hundreds of books that now lined the shelves of the library.

She had spent hours setting up a method of keeping records of all the books that came in, as well as a way to keep track of books by title, author, and subject, and records of books checked out. She knew her mother supported her new "job" because it kept her busy, and being busy meant less time to dwell on ugly memories. People treated her as though nothing had ever happened, and she felt important and needed. It felt good to hear people tell her how clever and industrious she was for coming up with the idea for a library and being willing to stay in town to run it. Many had already visited her, some of the older ones unable to read but wanting books for their children. They also brought with them or dictated to her information about their families and backgrounds so she could incorporate the information into the ledger she kept for the future museum.

Everyone had been eager about both ideas, making it easy to raise the necessary money to maintain the building and buy more books. All the shelves inside had been built by Phillip Crane, a fairly new resident of Billings. Crane was a carpenter and furniture maker, and to show his support of the town, he had donated the material and his own labor to build the shelves. His contribution had immediately put him in a favorable light, and already the man's carpentry and furniture-making business was rapidly growing, as many of the female citizens of Billings and the surrounding area were anxious for new furniture in their homes or to have old furniture refinished. Now his biggest project was to put the finishing touches on the new four-story Hotel Fontaine, which her father had had built over the past winter. Already Luke Fontaine's latest business venture was doing well, and soon a plaque would be placed on the front of the library reading Billings Library, Est. 1880 by Luke and Eletta Fontaine.

She breathed deeply of the smell of fresh pine as she laid the newly arrived books on a desk, thinking what an important role her mother and father had played in settling the area. She went outside to get more books from the freight wagon that had been parked in front of the library by a man from Hendrixon's Freighting and Supply, through whom the books had been ordered. It would take a while to unload all of them, but she didn't mind. She opened another box, having to take a few books in at a time because a full box was too heavy to carry.

She stopped for a moment to open one of the books and sniff it, enjoying the wonderful smell of new pages; yet she also loved the smell of older books. It was reading that had gotten her through the past two years and had helped take her away to places of the mind, where she could forget about what had happened to her. It was books that had helped her heal, as well as spending this time in town organizing the library. Luke and Lettie had not wanted her to leave home, but they understood that for now, maybe this was best. She had a good roommate in Mrs. Brown, who was a childless, middle-aged woman who enjoyed the same things Katie enjoyed, reading, learning, and teaching. She was proud to be living partly on her own at sixteen, and she felt comfortable at the boardinghouse because she used to go there to see Will and Henny when she was little. The house had been enlarged several times so that now the original cabin was nothing more than a large dining room where boarders gathered for daily meals, but Katie remembered playing in that very room when she was small, chasing Henny's several cats, some of which still hung around the property. Martin Stowe and his wife had added on ten rooms, and with the three extra rooms that had already been a part of the main house, there were twelve rooms that could be rented in addition to the room in which the Stowes slept.

Because of the way Billings was growing, the boardinghouse was nearly always full, and the Stowes were already talking about adding on again. The barn and shed out back that were once used by Will for his stock now served as shelter for the horses of those who rented rooms. Mrs. Stowe ran the boardinghouse while her husband managed the Hotel Fontaine for Luke.

Katie took another armload of books out of the box, thinking how happy Will and Henny would be to know how their property was being used, to help new settlers, people who contributed to the growth of the once-tiny town they had helped found. She headed back up the steps with the books, which were heavier and harder to balance than she thought. She realized she had taken too many, but decided to hurry and get them inside before she dropped them. In her haste, she walked right into someone. She heard a yelp as the books went tumbling against whoever it was, some of them landing on his foot. She managed to cling to three of the books, then stepped back to see a young man bending over to pick up those she had dropped.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she told him. "I didn't see you. I guess I just took too many at once."

"It's okay, ma'am." The man straightened with the rest of the books in his arms, and for a moment he stared at her.

Katie blushed at the obvious pleasure in the man's eyes as he quickly looked her over. Those eyes were a soft green, the strands of hair that stuck out from under his leather hat a sandy color. In spite of the fact that she had never had any particularly romantic feelings for any young man, something about this one stirred an odd feeling deep inside that almost frightened her. She was sure that after what she had been through she should and could never have feelings for anyone of the opposite sex, but this young man impressed her in a special way. She was surprised to realize she was wondering how she looked. Until this very moment, she had never cared how she appeared to anyone else, certainly not to a man. This one was handsome, with a sure look in his eyes, his smile bright and kind. He stood only a couple of inches taller than she, but he had a husky, brawny build. She was nearly five foot eight herself, something else that had always made her feel awkward around young men, since the ones who were her age were usually shorter than she.

"You want me to take these inside for you?" the stranger asked.

Katie realized she had been staring, and she wished she could hide the crimson she was sure showed in her cheeks. "Yes, that would be very nice. I truly am sorry I walked right into you like that."

His gaze moved over her again, and strangely, she did not feel insulted or offended by the way he seemed to be gauging her every curve. She wondered if he thought her pretty or ugly, maybe too tall and gangly. Her mother was always telling her how pretty she was, but all mothers thought that way. Maybe to men she wasn't pretty at all, and any who knew the truth about her probably wanted nothing to do with her. She had only socialized with women since the ugly attack, had not gone to any dances or other events that might put her into contact with men on a social level. Because of that, she had no way of knowing what the other young men in town thought of her, except that none had formally called on her. She knew that could be because she was Luke Fontaine's daughter and they were afraid of Luke; or because she was simply still too young. Then again, she was sure the primary reason was that they surely felt awkward, knowing what had happened to her.

She went inside, followed by the young man, who carried the rest of the books. "Just lay them on this desk," she told him.

He obeyed, then looked around the little log structure. "I've heard about libraries, but I've never seen one before."

Lettie folded her arms self-consciously. "Well, I have never seen one either, but my tutor back home taught me about them, how they are set up and all. I would love to see a really big one, like in Chicago."

The young man shrugged. "You must read real good. I can read some, but not enough that I would sit with a book for hours." He met her eyes. "You run this place?"

Lettie felt herself blushing again. "It was my idea. I also teach at the new school down at the west end of town. Billings is growing so much that we already have two school teachers, and they still need my help."

"Sounds like the town is growing real fast."

"Oh, it is! When my parents settled near here seventeen years ago, they tell me there were just a few log buildings here, mostly saloons. Now we have a school and all kinds of businesses, two hotels and a boardinghouse, now a library. I'm even organizing records of founding families that will be used in the future for a museum. We have a sheriff and a jail, a church and preacher, and the town citizens have gotten rid of a lot of the saloons. Only a couple of those left still have permission to allow gambling. We have completely outlawed pros—" She hesitated, felt the heat come into her cheeks. She was amazed at how she was babbling like an idiot.

The young man grinned. "In other words, Billings has become very respectable," he finished for her. "Yes." Katie looked away.

"I know about the boardinghouse," the man told her. "I just took a room there."

She met his eyes again, her curiosity aroused. "You did? I live there, too, during the week, with one of the schoolteachers, Mrs. Brown. I stay in town so that I can manage this library, and, of course, because of the need for a teaching assistant. The property the boardinghouse is on used to belong to my parents' best friends. They both died over a year ago, and my father inherited the property. He sold it to the Stowes. Mr. Stowe also manages the Hotel Fontaine. My father owns it."

"The Hotel Fontaine? Is that your name then?"

"Yes. I'm Katie Fontaine." She waited for a reaction. Had he heard anything about her? She saw nothing in his eyes that told her so.

"Excuse me, ma'am, for not introducing myself. Bradley Tillis. I'm from Colorado. I'm up here looking for land."

Katie put down the books she had carried in. "Oh? Are you going to farm, or ranch?" She noticed a wary look come into his eyes at the question, and he seemed hesitant at first to answer.

"Ranch."

"Oh, then, you must meet my father. He's one of the biggest cattle ranchers in Montana. He can get you into the Cattlemen's Association, introduce you around town."

Bradley suddenly appeared nervous. "Well, I guess your pa must be a pretty big man around here, owning the hotel and all."

Katie shrugged. "He has a hand in a lot of businesses, even owns some copper mines. But cattle are his first love and that is what he has built everything around. He and my mother were among the first to settle in this area." Katie wondered why she found him so easy to talk to. She felt as though she had known this stranger forever, and she felt a flutter at the way he smiled, a warm smile, with clean, even teeth and dimples in his cheeks. He seemed to be a grand mixture of man and boy, handsome and well built, with a sure look about him, but a boyish charm to his grin. She caught herself staring again and quickly looked away. "Well, I had better get busy unloading the rest of those books. Mr. Hendrixon will be back soon to pick up his wagon."

Bradley set his hat on one of the bookshelves. "Let me help you."

"Oh, you must be busy. You really don't have to—"

"I'd like to. I've finished what I intended to do today— got a map from the land office showing where the other ranches are. Come to think of it, your father's was the biggest area on the map. Does he use a lot of federal land for grazing?"

"All the ranchers do. They couldn't get by without it. That's why they try to keep out the sheep ranchers."

Katie's back was turned to him as she answered on her way out the door. She did not see the look of concern in Bradley Tillis's eyes. "Is that so? Is there a lot of trouble around here over sheep?"

Katie reached into the wagon again. "Oh, not like the things we heard happened in Colorado and Wyoming—no killings or anything like that, at least not yet. My father and the other cattlemen can give a man a lot of trouble if they set their minds to it, but so far they've managed to keep things fairly peaceful. Some Mormons tried to settle in with sheep last summer, but the cattlemen convinced them to leave. So far threats are all that have been necessary."

Damn, Bradley thought. I meet a pretty girl, and she's the daughter of the biggest cattle rancher in the area. Maybe this was some kind of omen that he should give up right now on the reason he had come here. Then again, maybe it was a different kind of omen. If a sheep man married a cattleman's daughter...

He finished helping her with the books, all the while studying the way Katie Fontaine carried herself. She seemed proud and sure, and she filled out her blue calico dress in all the right places. She was the prettiest thing he had seen in his entire life, and she was smart and independent, too, considering that she could surely be living at home doing nothing. The girl had class, was probably pampered, her father's ranch house most likely a castle. Instead, she was here in town on her own, teaching school and running a library. Her parents were pioneers here, so she came from strong stock. What a fine wife she would make, just the kind of woman he was looking for; but first he had to find a way to continue to earn his own way at what he knew best— raising sheep. A terrible drought in Colorado had nearly wiped out the family ranch. He wanted to go off on his own and start his own ranch, but he needed someplace new to start. He had been told he would find less trouble in Montana as far as not having to face the ugly range wars he and his father had suffered the last few years. They had been forced out of Nebraska, Wyoming, and Colorado, and things were even worse in Arizona and New Mexico; so he had come north to find peace, and enough good grassland to start anew.

Now he wasn't so sure he could bring sheep up here without more problems. He had told no one yet why he was here. Like Katie Fontaine, the land agent had taken it for granted he had come here to raise cattle. Already he could see he was not going to have an easy time of it, but he was determined to find a way. Sheep ranching was all he or his father or his grandfather had ever known.

He finished helping Katie carry in the books, then picked up his hat. "Well, I, uh, I guess I'll see you at supper-time at the boardinghouse, then?"

Katie felt her heart beat a little faster, amazed to find herself attracted to anyone of the opposite sex. She actually noticed how strong he looked, the way he filled out his checkered flannel shirt. His denim pants fit his slender hips nicely, and there was that charming smile again. Was it wrong to be aware of such things in a man, after what she had been through? What was happening to her? Was her mother right when she had told her someone would come along who could erase all the ugly memories?

"Yes, I'll see you at supper," she answered. "Mrs. Stowe makes wonderful biscuits. I often help her. I love cooking and baking, but I don't always have a lot of time for either one."

So, she cooks, too, Brad thought. He chastised himself for thinking the daughter of a wealthy cattle barron, especially one as pretty as this one, would even give him the time of day. Once she found out his real reason for being here, his chances of courting this pretty girl would go down to zero.

"Well, we can talk more tonight, then." Katie smiled bashfully and nodded. "How long will you be in Billings?"

"I'm not sure yet. Depends on whether I can find some decent land. Men like your Pa probably already own the best pieces. I might have to go on west of here, or maybe farther north." Was that disappointment he saw in her eyes, or did he just want it to be there?

"Well, I hope you find what you need somewhere close to Billings." Katie immediately wondered why she had said that. Would he take it the wrong way? "Thank you so much for helping carry in the books. You didn't have to do that."

Bradley tipped his hat. "It was my pleasure, Miss Fontaine." He turned to leave, and Katie watched him, tiptoeing to the doorway so he would not know she had gone there to watch him walk away. He was a fine-looking young man, interesting because he was a stranger in town. She guessed him to be about twenty-five. Part of her was terribly attracted to him, for reasons she could not even explain; but when she thought about any young man touching her...

She shivered and turned away, chastising herself for allowing romantic thoughts for any man. No matter how she felt about Bradley Tillis or anyone else who might come along, she didn't think she could ever be intimate with any of them. She might as well give up thinking about marriage and children and ever living like a normal woman. Despite how it had worked out for her mother, she didn't see how any man would want her for a wife once he knew the awful truth.



Bradley Tillis took a job at the livery in Billings, and Katie knew why. Both were aware of the attraction between them, and although Bradley had said he should go on west to find land, since all the land for a hundred miles or more around Billings was claimed, he stayed in Billings... for Katie. She looked forward to every meal they shared, every walk they took in the evening, every visit to the library. She had not told her parents yet of her feelings for Bradley, mainly because she wasn't sure any of it would last once he found out the truth. It was obvious she was going to have to tell him soon, for last night he had almost kissed her, and to her surprise she had wanted him to.

Christmas was coming. She wanted Bradley to come to the Double L and see the ranch, meet the family, and share Christmas with them. But she dared not ask him until she told him everything. If the man was as serious about her as she suspected, she had to tell him about her rape, not just for his sake, but for her own, for she was fast losing her heart.

She blew out an oil lamp and took her cape from a peg on the wall. She had worked extra late that night with another new order of books. Her parents were so thrilled with her involvement in the project that Luke had donated even more money, and she had ordered a collection of Shakespeare and Poe and several other classics. Before she realized it, she was lost in reading instead of getting the books organized, which led to working well after dark. She headed for the door, but it opened before she could reach it, and Brad walked inside, deep concern in his eyes.

"Katie! When you didn't show up at supper I got worried. What are you still doing here?"

Why did he look even more handsome in the partially darkened room? "I got behind—started reading instead of working. I was just finishing up."

"Well, you shouldn't be walking after dark. Billings might be a civilized town now, but that's no guarantee that it's safe for a pretty young girl to be walking alone."

Katie felt the familiar pain in her stomach. This pretty young girl is already soiled, Bradley. You needn't worry. "Oh, I don't worry about that," she said aloud. "After all, I'm Luke Fontaine's daughter," she joked. "One scream from me, and the whole town would come running." She started to turn down the oil lamp near the door, but Bradley grasped her arm.

"Like the whole town contributed to the kidnapping money?"

Katie felt as though every nerve end was alive and on fire, and her stomach ached even more fiercely. He knew! She had to get away! Hide! How could she look at him? She had been going to tell him in her own way, when she was ready, when the time was right. She jerked her arm, but he would not let go.

"Katie, it's all right."

"No, it isn't! Please let me go, Bradley!" She felt the tears wanting to come then. She hated him! No, she loved him! But it did no good to feel that way. He knew now. He was going to tell her gently that he couldn't see her anymore, wasn't he? Then why was he turning her, putting his arms around her? Why wouldn't he let go of her?

"You stay right here, Katie girl. Do you really think what happened matters to me?"

"Please, let me go, Brad." His chest was solid, and he smelled good.

"You don't want me to let go, not any more than I want to let go. I love you, Katie Fontaine, and there isn't anything going to change that. I'm just sorry I wasn't around at the time to have a hand in catching those bastards. I would love to have helped pull that lever."

Katie put a hand to her face, cringing against his chest, and finally the tears came full force. "Who told you?" she sobbed.

"Mrs. Stowe. She could see how things were getting to be between us, and she suspected you never said anything. She didn't do it to be mean. She did it because she cares about you, Katie. She figured maybe it would be easier if somebody else told me so I'd be prepared, and so you wouldn't have to go through the whole ugly thing again yourself. Having to tell it to a jury was bad enough."

"I was... only fourteen," she wept. "And they were... grown men... and strong. There wasn't anything... I could do to stop them. I tried, Brad... but they... kept hitting me... and they held me..."

"Hush, Katie." He wrapped his arms even tighter around her. "It doesn't matter now. What matters is that you came through it, and you're strong and proud and you've gone on with your life. All you need now is to learn that being with a man doesn't have to be something horrible like that... not if you love him... and he loves you. And you might as well know right now that I want to be that man. I'd never hurt you, Katie. I love you and I want you to be my wife."

She reached into a pocket on her yellow dress and took out a handkerchief, pulling away from him then to wipe at her nose and eyes. "How can you want me?"

He put his hands to her waist. "Because you're beautiful and brave and tough, let alone damn smart and a hard worker. You're everything a man could want, Katie, and you were raised on a ranch, so you know what that kind of life is like. Mostly I want you just because you're sweet and good-hearted, and I just plain love you. I think I loved you the first day we met."

She managed a faint smile through her tears, feeling the heat come back into her face again. It continued to amaze her that she actually enjoyed his touch. "I feel the same way about you, Brad, but I was so afraid that once you knew... I'd lose you."

He smiled the fetching grin that had a way of melting away her inhibitions. "You've got to have more faith in the man you love, Katie girl, especially when he's going to be your husband."

She studied the sincerity and determination in his gentle eyes, and did not resist when he leaned closer. With a pounding heart, Katie closed her own eyes and allowed his lips to touch hers lightly. It was a sweet, tender kiss. She wondered how one man's touch could be so horrifying, while another's could be so wonderful. The kiss grew deeper, and he pressed her close. She felt on fire with feelings she'd never thought she could possibly have for a man, yet when she thought of letting him invade her the way the Walker boys had done, she stiffened in his arms.

Bradley felt her resistance, and he left her lips, kissed her hair. "It will be okay, Katie. If you'll be my wife, I promise you I won't come to your bed until you feel like you're ready; but I also promise you that when you decide to be my wife in every way, you're going to be surprised at how nice it will be. And then you'll start having babies, and you'll forget all the ugly things and see the beautiful side of being with a man."

She thought about her own mother, how she had found that happiness with Luke, in spite of what she had been through. Now she understood what Lettie meant when she told her the right man would come along some day to erase all the ugliness. She relaxed again, meeting his gaze. "I do love you, Brad, and I do want to marry you. Three months might not seem like very long to some, but from that very first day we met, I felt so comfortable with you. I'm glad you know. Now we can share everything."

A strange, almost guilty look came into his eyes then. He kissed her forehead, then pulled away with a deep sigh. "The trouble is, we have to get your pa's permission first to marry."

Katie frowned. "He won't object, once he meets you and finds out what a good person you are; and especially when he realizes I love you. My parents will be thrilled that I have found someone who can take away the bad memories. They want nothing more than for me to be happy and to live a normal life. And with you being a cattleman and all—"

"That's the trouble," he interrupted. "Now it's my turn to 'fess up, Katie." He sighed and walked a few feet away, studying a row of books for a moment before turning to face her. "You're right that we should share everything. Now it's my turn to tell a secret, Katie." He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "All I said was that I was a rancher, Katie. I never said it was cattle that I raised."

Katie frowned thoughtfully, then her eyes widened. "Not sheep!"

He nodded. "It's all I know. My grandfather raised sheep, my father, and now I want to get started on my own, but I can't do it down in Colorado or even in Wyoming. Between the drought we've been having and the trouble with cattlemen, I've got to try someplace new."

She put a hand to her lips. "Oh, dear."

"Yeah." He rolled his eyes. "Now do you see our problem? It's bad enough we haven't known each other all that long, and that your folks have never even met me yet, let alone the fact that your pa probably expects you to marry some rich rancher's son. Not only am I not rich, but I'm not in cattle at all. Your pa will probably blow to high heaven when he finds out you're in love with a sheep man, and it will probably mean we'd have to live far away from here. He'd never allow me to graze sheep anyplace around here." He shoved his hands into his back pockets and paced. "This doesn't change how you feel about me, does it?"

Katie folded her arms, watching him longingly. "No. I just know how my father feels about sheep." She sighed thoughtfully. "Brad, my father isn't the monster you think he is, and there is one way he can be convinced, one person who can keep him calm and reason with him."

"Who's that?"

"My mother. As powerful and determined as my father can be, he'll do anything my mother asks. I just have to talk to her first." Yes, Lettie would understand more than anyone what it meant to her to find love, to find a man who could overlook what had happened to her. "My mother will come to get me this weekend. I'm going home for Christmas. Pa probably won't come with her to town this time because he already attended a cattlemen's meeting last week, and he said he had to stay at the ranch this week. He's going out to the north section with some of his men to bring in some stray cattle that could starve this winter if they aren't brought closer to the main ranch. It will take several days, and he'll get back just in time for Christmas. Mother will probably just bring a couple of men from the ranch along to accompany her, so you and I will have some time alone."

"You and I?"

"Yes. You're coming to the Double L for Christmas, Brad. It's time you met my family, and we can tell Mother about our plans and about you being a sheep rancher. That way at least she will be prepared and ready to handle my father when he finds out. Please say you'll come."

Brad rubbed at his eyes. "Why do I get the feeling this will not be a very merry Christmas?"

"It will be, Brad, once my father realizes how much we love each other and how determined I am. Mother will know how to smooth it over."

"What if she doesn't like me?"

"Oh, but she will. I'm not worried about that. We can make this work, with my mother's help. We'll tell my pa flat out that we're in love and intend to be married. Maybe between the three of us we can present the sheep issue without any big problems. Maybe pa will even let you try raising sheep on his land."

Bradley chuckled. "You're a dreamer, Katie girl."

She walked closer, taking hold of his hands. "Maybe. But ornery as my pa can be, one thing I know is how much he loves his family and wants what's best for us. It was Pa who came for me when I was abducted, and I'll never forget the look on his face when he found me." Her eyes teared again. "And when he told me never to hang my head. And with all those men surrounding us, he grabbed me up and rode off with me, took a bullet in the back that could have killed or crippled him. No matter how he reacts, don't hate him right away. He's a good man. He gets a little stubborn in his ideas sometimes, but he can be reasoned with, and my mother is the one who can do it."

Bradley sighed deeply. "All I know is that I'll do whatever it takes to make you my wife, but I won't bow to any man or give up what I know how to do best. And with or without Luke Fontaine's blessing, I want you for my wife, Katie. Will you still marry me, even if he doesn't approve?"

Katie could not imagine going against her father; but now she could also not imagine letting Brad Tillis ride out of her life. "Yes, I'll marry you, even if Pa doesn't approve."