Wildest Dreams

chapter 19

August 1877

Lettie disembarked from the family's three-seater buggy and walked up to Will and Henny's log home, grabbing hold of her straw hat to keep it from blowing off in a stiff, hot wind. She could see Henny was sitting in a rocker on the porch. She forced herself to smile, though she was shocked at how white the woman's hair had become. She lifted the hem of her yellow cotton dress as she went up the steps, then leaned over Henny to give her a hug.

"Oh, it's good to see you again, Henny! I miss you being able to come out to the ranch."

"Lettie! I didn't know you were coming. I'm so glad, dear." The words were slightly slurred. Since her stroke, Henny could barely walk, and Will had hired a woman to come and do the cleaning and cooking. One of Henny's several cats sat on her lap, and the woman petted it lightly with her right hand, which was weak but usable. She could hardly move her left hand and arm, and the left side of her face drooped slightly.

"It's been so long, Lettie. I was so worried about you. The other women say you almost never leave the house. I'm so glad to see you're getting out."

Lettie noticed the woman's eyes were more sunken, and she appeared to be even weaker than the last time she had seen her. Was her good friend dying? Oh, how she hated death. She couldn't bear losing Henny, too. Not now!

She pulled up a chair and sat down beside the woman, while Bob Franks, who had brought her to visit, headed the family buggy back to Billings. "For reasons even I don't understand, I find it hard to leave home anymore, Henny. I'm so sorry I've neglected visiting as often as I should. Somehow I feel as if I'm deserting Paul when I go away. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can't help it."

Henny reached over and touched her arm. "No one knows how they will react to losing a loved one until it happens, Lettie. Each of us works out our grief differently."

Lettie sighed deeply. "I suppose. At any rate, the girls needed some things that they wanted to come to town to pick out themselves, and Luke and Ty are on the cattle drive to Cheyenne. Bob Franks was bringing Mae into town, so we all came together. He left Mae and the girls at Syd Martin's store. Mae and Bob are married now, you know. Mae is staying on to help me, though. She and Bob share a room on the third floor, and Bob will stay on as a ranch hand."

"Will told me they got married. How nice for Mae!" Henny managed to turn her head to meet Lettie's green eyes, her own dark eyes all-knowing. "What about your marriage, Lettie? It's all the other women gossip about when they visit, you know."

Lettie paled. "They do?"

Henny squeezed her arm, an understanding smile making her face break into its many premature wrinkles. "Lettie, everyone knows Luke spends more time over at the Lonesome Tree or out on the range than he does at home. Ever since Paul died—"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lettie interrupted, pulling her arm away. "I didn't come here for that."

"Didn't you?"

Lettie put a hand to her forehead. "That stroke certainly didn't affect your mind or your insight, did it? You get right to the point."

Henny smiled. "We've always been close, Lettie. I've been so worried about you, not visiting, keeping yourself away from people, not attending the women's meetings. You've always been the one to bring people together, a leader, so strong and elegant and sure. I hear the rumors and I hurt for you. As far as getting to the point, I have to, Lettie. You're my friend, and I love you; and God knows we might not get another chance to talk, my health the way it is."

"Oh, don't say that, Henny! I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't talk to you sometimes. Even when I don't visit, just knowing you're here is somehow a comfort. What does Doc Manning say?"

Henny began stroking the cat on her lap again. "There isn't much he can do. I try to do things to build my strength, but every day I feel a little weaker. I don't really mind for me, you know. I just hate being this way for Will. He's been so patient and good." She sighed. "Enough of me. You're trying to change the subject, Lettie Fontaine, and I won't let you do it. You're hurting. Luke is hurting. But you aren't sharing that hurt and helping each other. Why not?"

Lettie shook her head. "I give up." She smiled sadly. "There is so much I want to say to him, Henny, but the words just won't come."

"You had a good marriage, Lettie. Everyone could see how strong it was, how much you loved each other. Love like that doesn't die without a good fight. Maybe that's what you need—a good fight—scream, yell, get it all out."

"Maybe. I just don't quite know how to get the conversation started, and Luke is gone so much now." Lettie grasped at her hat again as a gust of wind tugged at it. "It's so hot today."

"Ah, ah! You're changing the subject again."

Lettie sat quietly thinking for a moment before continuing. "At first I blamed him for everything, and I guess he sensed that. He grew so cold and hard. Now I don't know how to get him back. I'm not even sure how I feel about him anymore. Since Nathan ran off and Paul died... I don't know. I just don't have those feelings anymore. It's as though all the love and passion have gone out of me. I don't even do the books anymore. I used to love doing that for Luke. Now everything is changed. It's as though we're on different pathways. We don't even—" She looked down at the handbag in her lap. "We don't even share the same bedroom any more."

"Oh, Lettie! Surely you know how much that man loves you."

Lettie met her eyes. "So much that he spends his nights with Annie Gates?"

Henny frowned. "Do you know that for a fact?"

"No," Lettie answered, rising. "But it wouldn't surprise me." She walked over to grasp one of the porch posts. "Has Will ever said anything about it?"

"No. But you know how men are. They stick together. He knows if he ever mentioned it to me, I would tell you. But maybe there is nothing to tell, Lettie."

Lettie smiled bitterly. "Part of me doesn't even care and doesn't blame him. And part of me wants to run to him, beg him never to go near that woman."

"So what is stopping you? Nial Bentley?"

Lettie turned in surprise. "What?"

Henny shook her head. "I told you you're the most talked-about woman in Billings. Luke's men see Nial coming to visit every couple of weeks while Luke's gone on the cattle drive; they tell other men; word gets around."

Lettie sighed and came to sit back down. "Nial is just being a friend. He has a wonderful, gentle nature, now that I've gotten to know him better. He has visited several times, listens to Pearl play the piano, brought some books about medicine to Robbie. He is entertaining, easy to talk to, and his concern for the children and my own losses over the past year and a half have made me appreciate his visits. I didn't much like him when he first gave me attention four years ago, but I see him through different eyes now."

"Nial Bentley wants to be more than just a friend, Let-tie. You must know that. You'd better be careful. You know how Luke feels about him, and Luke has never been an easy man to tangle with."

Lettie leaned back in the chair. "I know. I worry for

Nial, but he insists on coming around. He has a way of making me talk, Lettie. I've shared things with him that I once would only have shared with Luke; and he's so attentive to the children, teaching them about life in England and in big cities, telling them about universities and schools. He has Pearl dreaming of studying music, and Robbie determined to be a doctor. They're starved for that attention. God knows Luke hasn't been much of a father to any of them these past months, except to Ty. They're still very close." She looked at Henny. "Ty doesn't like Nial, but the other three children do, very much. When Nial comes over, it's like we're a family again; but when Luke is there, the children grow quiet. They're almost afraid of him, and now I don't know how to reach him myself."

"Lettie, Luke couldn't help any of the things that have happened."

Tears formed in Lettie's eyes. "I know that."

"Then tell him, and get rid of Nial Bentley before he destroys your marriage."

Lettie watched three cats run by, all chasing a chipmunk. "If our marriage is destroyed, it won't be because of Nial Bentley or Annie Gates."

Henny sniffed. "They're both biting at the bit. Don't you fool yourself. Annie's probably been telling Luke you're not the right woman for him, that you're too refined and too educated to be married to a rancher; she's probably filled his head with hints about what might be going on with Nial. And Nial is probably doing the same with you, hinting that you're meant for better men than Luke Fontaine. But they don't come any better as far as I'm concerned, and he's still damn handsome for all his forty-two years."

Lettie thought about the first time she'd set eyes on Luke, when he saved Nathan from being trampled. There were moments when she could vividly remember the passion Luke stirred in her, and all the reasons she had married the man. "You're right about everything you're saying, Henny. There's just this terrible riff between us now. With my baby buried, it just doesn't seem right that I should ever enjoy life and love again."

"That's ridiculous! Do you think denying yourself happiness for the rest of your life is going to bring back Paul? It's time you straightened things out with Luke, Lettie, before all of this goes too far. You love each other too much to let this keep happening. Nial Bentley is like a vulture, waiting for something to die, picking at it little by little even though it's still alive." The woman took Lettie's hand again. "Paul is dead, Lettie. You have to face that fact and get on with life, give your attention to your other children, your husband, yourself. There is no bringing Paul back, no matter what kinds of sacrifices or penance you try to make. It's nobody's fault. Nobody's! Not yours, not Luke's, nobody's."

Lettie swallowed at the eternal lump in her throat. "Poor Robbie thinks it's something he did. He was bathing Paul with a cool rag when it happened. It was a terrible thing for him. He needs to talk to his father about it, but Luke isn't there. Nial has talked to him, has encouraged him in being a doctor. He needs that right now. I can't help but be grateful for how he has helped Robbie emotionally. Me, too. I've suffered so, knowing that I neglected Paul when Nathan was home... and the moment he died, I should have been holding him in my arms. He should have been in my—" She could not finish. As the sickening grief revisited her, she broke into sobs.

"My God, Lettie, have you given Luke the chance to help you through this? Does he even know how you or Robbie or anyone is feeling?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know because you haven't told him. Talk to Luke instead of that damned Englishman. Let him back into your life. Don't let Nial Bentley take advantage of your problems. You and Luke have something Will and I were never blessed with. Children. Yes, you've lost two sons, but there is hope one will come back to you; and you have four other children who need their mother and father. Those children are something you and Luke share that you can never share with Nial Bentley. You also share a past, memories, lots of them good ones. Don't you see how much you have to be thankful for, Lettie?"

Lettie quickly wiped at her tears and turned to take both of Henny's hands. "I know one thing I am thankful for, and that's my very best friend, Henny Doolan. You are going to be all right, aren't you, Henny? I need you."

Henny smiled lovingly. "You need Luke, Lettie, not me. You remember that. You remember who loves you more than anybody on earth could love you, even though he might be afraid to show it right now."

Lettie leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Always ready with sage advice, aren't you, Henny?"

She shrugged. "A woman has to be good for something."

Lettie smiled then herself. "You're good for me, and for Will. Where is Will, anyway?"

"Haven't you heard? There has been a lot of trouble with rustlers lately. Will and several other ranchers formed a posse. All but Luke are back from Cheyenne. They got word some of the outlaws might be camped down by Pine Creek, hiding cattle in that canyon area where hardly anybody ever goes, probably figure on sneaking them out of there and on up into Canada. At any rate, Will and the others hope to catch Luke on his way back from the drive so he can join in on the hunt. Your men at the Double L probably don't know about it yet because they all just rode out yesterday. They had enough men that they weren't even going to stop at your ranch. They probably didn't want you getting all up-set.

Lettie's smile vanished. She rose. "No, I didn't know. I've been so wrapped up in my personal problems. Nial never said anything about rustlers and men forming a posse. He must know about it."

"Of course he knows. Some of his own men are with the posse. Nial probably doesn't want you worrying, not for your sake, but because it would make you start thinking about Luke, and he doesn't want that. If the man had any sand in him, he'd be riding with the posse himself; but he's not one to get in there and handle things himself like Luke. He lets his men do his work for him, while he goes off trying to steal another man's wife."

Lettie felt a heat come into her cheeks. Was that how it really was? Had she let her emotions over Paul blind her womanly instincts? She had most certainly let her loneliness and need draw her to another man. Did everyone else think there was something intimate going on? And what if something happened to Luke, before they had the chance to find each other again? If she lost Luke now... and Ty! She hadn't spent much time with him these last months while he was learning to run the ranch. She had never even asked her son how he felt about little Paul's death. Ty was with Luke. If he went along on the search for the rustlers, he could be hurt!

She turned to look up the road from town. Bob Franks wasn't back yet. She was suddenly impatient to get back home in case Luke came back before going after those rustlers. There was so much to tell him. And she hadn't hugged Ty in the longest time. Henny was right. She had been so involved in mourning the children she had lost, that she had failed to give enough love and attention to the children still with her.



Luke and his men watched from the high plateau where they had made camp the night before. A cloud of dust on the open plains below signified several riders.

"Who do you think it is, Pa?" Tyler asked his father. The boy sat straight and proud in his saddle, feeling every bit a man for being allowed to go with his father on the cattle drive this summer. Even though he was only twelve, he was big and strong enough in body to handle Stomper, a big, roan-colored gelding often ridden by Tex.

"I'm not sure," Luke answered. He looked over at the faithful scout who had been with him for several years now. "What do you think, Runner?"

"Can't tell. Maybe a posse. They are white men, and they ride all together like they are very determined."

"They're headed southwest," Tex put in. "Looks like they're real intent on gettin' where they're goin'."

"I don't think they're outlaws or rustlers," Billy Sacks added. "I've always heard they usually travel with extra horses, and this time of year, coming out of the best range like that, they'd already have stolen cattle and horses along."

"I agree," Luke spoke up. "Let's ride down there and meet them, see what's going on." He kicked his horse into a hard ride, his riding agility tested when the animal slipped and slid down a steep hillside that was a mixture of clay and gravel. He glanced back to be sure Ty was doing all right in the dangerous descent, proud of how well his son had handled his first cattle drive, taking night watch at times just like the other men, sometimes helping the cook, taking his turn at tending the remuda, never complaining. He was a ranchman, born and bred. Maybe someday Robbie would come around and want to be as much a part of the ranch as his brother. There was a time when he'd dreamed of all three of his sons taking over someday, but Robbie was lost in his dream of being a doctor; and Paul...

He couldn't think about Paul. Couldn't talk about him. He wished he could. Maybe then he and Lettie could find each other again. The pain was just too great, of remembering holding his littlest boy in his arms, already dead; of knowing he might have lived if he hadn't been so far from help; of recalling the look in Lettie's eyes when she realized the last child she would ever have had been taken from her. It was so much easier to be out here under big skies, or to drink himself into a stupor in town, than to face the reality of his son's death and the loss of his wife's companionship. How had he managed to be such a success in matters outside the home, and such a failure at his personal life?

He and the eight men with him, plus Ty, reached the bottom of the plateau and broke into a hard gallop, the cook, simply called Oatmeal, lagging behind with the chuck wagon, and three more men herding the remuda even farther back. He could see that the riders they were trying to reach before they got too far past had finally noticed them and were pulling up. Luke glanced over at Ty, who was riding hard right alongside him, his dark hair flying away from his face, his wide-brimmed hat caught by its cord around his neck and bouncing at his shoulders. He grinned as he realized Ty was turning this into a race, and he let up a little on his own gray-and-white speckled Appaloosa, letting the boy nose ahead of him. "All right, you win!" he shouted as they neared the waiting riders.

Ty let out a war whoop and laughed. "You let me win, didn't you?"

"No. I swear," Luke answered with a grin. Yes. Out here he could feel good. Out here he could laugh. He wanted to share laughter again with Lettie and the other children.

"Luke! We was hopin' to run into you!"

Luke recognized his good friend Will's voice. It reminded him of poor Henny, partly crippled now. He knew how hard it was for Will to see her that way, but at least the woman wasn't crippled emotionally, as Lettie seemed to be. "What's going on?" he shouted in reply, slowing his horse to a trot as he rode closer. He recognized several of the others now, Carl Rose, Calvin Briggs, Joe Parker, Hank Kline, and several other men, some of them small ranchers, some businessmen from Billings who had joined them, men sworn to help uphold the law in Montana the only way it could be done in these parts—through vigilante committees. "You boys look like you're hot on somebody's trail." Luke's men formed a line beside him.

"We're headed for Pine Creek, Luke," Calvin Briggs answered. "We would have waited for you, but we couldn't wait on this one. Annie Gates had a customer the other night who got so drunk he bragged about how he was going to meet up with some buddies of his at Pine Creek Canyon and help herd some cattle north, said he'd be making a lot of money for helping because they'd get a good price for the cattle up in Canada. Told Annie he'd bring her a diamond necklace when he came back. There's no ranchers we know of around Pine Creek, and nobody we know takes their cattle to Canada except rustlers. Annie told Sheriff Tracy about it, and he sent messengers out to the rest of the ranchers. Figured it was a job for us instead of him. We had us a little talk with the one who bragged about helpin' herd the cattle. By the time we finished with him, he told us the truth. It's rustlers, all right, and part of their gang is the Walkers, them two boys and their pa that you chased off the Double L last year."

"I thought they were far away from here by now. Don't they realize we all know they're the ones who raided Matt Duncan's place and killed Duncan? They raped the poor man's wife besides, then made off with all his livestock. How can they be stupid enough to come back here?"

"Well, it's a good thing that hired hand of Duncan's managed to get to town to tell us he seen it was the Walker boys. Now we've got no doubt what to do with them if we find them."

"Bastards," Luke fumed. "I've lost at least three hundred head myself over the past couple of years. It was probably the Walkers who took them."

"It's just too bad it took so long for Duncan's man to get to town to tell us about what happened," Will put in. "Otherwise we could have followed their tracks if they were fresh. I'd have chased the bastards all the way into Canada if necessary, but by the time we got out there, it was too late. Rain had washed away the tracks. Now we've got a chance to get our hands on those sons of bitches."

"We'll get them this time," Hank spoke up. He scratched at his gray beard. "If we do, I guess that means Annie is good for more than a roll in bed."

They all laughed, and Luke felt an ache for a woman. He wanted that woman to be Lettie, but she hadn't come to his bed in months, and because of Paul's death, he couldn't bring himself to force his wife into submitting, but his estrangement from Lettie had led him into Annie Gates's bed. He knew some of these men were aware he'd been with Annie, probably thought he had done so more than once. He was not about to bother trying to explain it to any one of them. Men like these understood such things were private, and they made no judgments. "I'll send my cook and a couple more men home with Ty. The rest of us will join you," he told Will and the others.

"No, Pa! I want to go with you!" Ty protested.

"Not on your life. You might be old enough for the drive, but not for rustlers. There will probably be a lot of shooting."

"But, Pa—"

"Ty, you'll go home!" Luke said sternly. "The last thing your mother and I need is to lose another son."

The other men lost their smiles and signaled to one another to ride on ahead a ways and let Luke talk to the boy alone. Will stayed behind.

"Pa, it sounds exciting."

"And in two or three more years, I'll let you take part in these things, but not yet, Ty." Luke moved his horse closer, removing his hat and wiping at his brow with the sleeve of his blue shirt. "Ty, you know what a strain this past year and a half has been. This could be dangerous, and it would be more dangerous for me if I have to worry about where you are and if you're all right. You go on home with Oatmeal and the remuda. Explain to your mother where I've gone and that I'll be back as soon as it's over. A good ranch hand obeys orders, Ty. You know that."

Tyler nodded, pouting. "You be careful, Pa. Ma needs you. She might not say so, or act like it, but she does."

Luke felt the growing pain in his heart, wishing, hoping the boy was right. He and Ty had had a lot of time to talk on the trail, and Ty had told him about Nial Bentley's visit last spring. In some ways Luke thought maybe a man like Nial was better for Lettie after all; but his own possessive jealousy refused to allow it. Nial had stayed away from the cattlemen's meetings, and Luke had not had a chance to talk to the man before he left on the cattle drive. He hoped Bentley had sense enough to stay away from the Double L while he'd been gone. "Things will work out, Ty," he said now. "I promised you I'd stay home more this fall and winter, and I will." He reached out, and father and son hugged briefly. "You did a damn good job, Ty. You go back and take care of your mother and brother and sisters until I get back."

"Be careful, Pa."

Luke nodded, turning to his men and ordering three of them to go on to the ranch with Oatmeal and Ty and take the remuda with them. They all headed out, and Luke waved when Ty turned for a last look at his father. He waved back, then rode around the remuda to help herd the horses.

"The boy did good, did he?" Will asked, riding closer to Luke.

"Real well. When I'm gone, the Double L will be in good hands," Luke answered. "I just hope Robbie will be a part of it, too."

"You can't order your kids' lives, Luke. You know how much Paul's death affected poor Robbie. If bein' a doctor makes it all better for him, you've gotta let the boy try."

Luke sighed, turning his horse. "I don't know, Will. It seems that my family is going in six different directions. Maybe it would all be easier for me to cope with if I could feel close to Lettie again, but it's as if she's in another world, as though she hardly knows I'm around when I am home."

"Well, you'd best stay for a while this time and get things straightened out before that damned Englishman steals your woman right from under your nose. You might as well know Bentley has been over to the ranch quite a few times over the summer, accordin' to what your men tell me. He dotes on Pearl and Robbie mostly, but Katie, too. I think the man is tryin' to get to Lettie through the kids. Lord knows their own father hasn't been around enough to know what's goin' on in their lives. If you don't want to lose them all, Luke, you'd better tend to the family. If Lettie won't talk, then find a way to make her talk, but first, get rid of Nial Bentley. And don't tell me it don't bother you to know the man is after your wife again. A woman in her state needs a man's strength, and don't think Nial don't know that. He's movin' in for the kill, and you're lettin' him do it."

Luke drew his horse to a halt, and when Will looked over at him, he shivered at how dark the man's eyes looked, their blue color seeming to change to smoke. "I'm not letting the man do anything! I had no idea Bentley was damn fool enough to keep coming around. I let that first visit go by as an expression of friendship and sympathy. I didn't know there were others."

"Everybody in town talks about you and Annie and Lettie and Nial. I just thought you should know. I don't doubt Nial has put ideas into Lettie's head about you and Annie Gates. If she thinks you're sleepin' with the woman, it ain't gonna help anything." He paused, studying Luke intently. "Have you slept with Annie?"

Luke looked away. "Only once." He heard Will sigh, and he met the man's eyes again. "Jesus, Will, Lettie hasn't slept with me since before Paul died. A man can only take so much." He turned away again. "But I'm not taking it anymore. Something is going to get straightened out when I get home, and it's going to start with Nial Bentley!" The last words were spoken with bitter venom. "Let's bag ourselves some rustlers!" He kicked his horse and headed toward the posse, which was well ahead of them now. Will charged out after him, glad to see a new spark of life in Luke's eyes. Henny was right to suggest that he tell Luke about Nial Bentley. Jealousy could do a lot of things to a man.