…
All five of them spent the evening together in Vaughn’s room, eating a dinner of delivered Chinese and vending machine soda. Reece demolished his General Tso’s in no time, then began flipping through news channels on TV, no doubt already running financial figures and damage analysis in his computer-like brain, trying to figure out how they would salvage their business when half of their building had been blown to ruins. Greer sat in a second visitor chair, aged a decade by exhaustion and worry, picking at his lo mein with a pair of chopsticks. Jude skipped dinner and continued drawing on Vaughn’s cast, finishing the unicorn and peppering the top of his foot with hearts and swirls. Nobody spoke, but as usual, their memories of a better time filled the silence—the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room that everyone studiously ignored.
Still, it was kind of nice to be all together for a meal. Minus the hospital and take out cartons, it was almost like a real sit-down family dinner. Or at least as close as the Wilde brothers had gotten to one since before their parents died.
A bittersweet longing filled Cam’s chest as he poked at his moo goo gai pan. He thought of Eva’s idea of a family, then thought of his own parents. He’d had that ideal once and it had been shattered by a senseless act of violence. Maybe that was why he just couldn’t bring himself to believe in the kind of future Eva wanted.
The murder of their parents had impacted each of the brothers in different ways. Jude had become insolent. Vaughn, reckless. Reece, callous. Greer, detached. And Cam? What had he become? He had no idea, but suspected it wasn’t something he was happy with.
They’d lost the foundation of their family that cold October night twenty years ago, but had gained the kind of forged-in-battle bond usually seen in brothers-in-arms rather than in true blooded brothers. Cam saw that bond now, so tangible he could almost touch it, but still took little comfort from it. He had his brothers, yes, but, dammit all, he wanted the kind of family Eva talked about. The real thing, the kind that sat down to meals together every night and chatted about their days. The kind who celebrated holidays and birthdays with more than a beer and a slap on the back.
Didn’t matter now.
He’d been such a goddamn *, carrying a flame for her all these years, unable to be honest about what he wanted with her from the get-go. He didn’t want friendship. Never had, but the thought of loving and losing her had made him keep his distance. And his silence had pushed her straight into Preston Linz’s arms. Hell, breaking his silence after all these years had probably accomplished the exact same thing.
Cam didn’t think he’d ever forgive himself for that.
Looking at Vaughn laying in the hospital bed, so bruised and swollen, he realized he had a lot that he wasn’t going to forgive himself for and lost his appetite.
By the time visiting hours ended, Vaughn’s cast looked like the pages of a teenage girl’s notebook. He promised creative, humiliating revenge, and everyone—even Cam—laughed. It took Vaughn feigning sleepiness for Greer, Reece, and Jude to start making noises about leaving and another fifteen minutes before they actually cleared out.
But as soon as the door shut behind them, Vaughn’s eyes popped open, and he nailed Cam with his spill it glare. “Want to explain to me what that was all about?”
Cam jerked a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the door. “Jude was pissed because—”
“Not that. Eva. You know exactly what she was trying to tell you by wearing that ring.”
Dropping heavily into the seat Reece had vacated, Cam dragged both hands over his head. “I know.”
“And you are stupid in love with her. So explain to me why you’re sitting here instead of annoying our neighbors with rowdy make-up sex?”
“Because…I can’t.”
Vaughn hissed through his teeth. “That’s probably something you should get checked, bro.”
“Jesus. If you weren’t already down and out, I’d punch you.”
“Nah, you wouldn’t. You know I’m right about this.” He yawned. Maybe he wasn’t faking sleepiness after all.
Cam stood to make tracks and let him get some rest, but Vaughn pointed a finger at him, pinning him in his place. “Hold it.”
“Bro, you’re exhausted. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Nope. Sit your ass back down.”
Cam sat. “Now you sound like Greer.”
“Good. I’ll take that as a compliment.” He paused to shut his eyes and let his ragged breathing from the strain of so much movement even out. Just as Cam started wondering if he could make an escape before Vaughn gathered his strength, he opened his eyes again.