‘So that is what I have done, and you cannot imagine his delight.’Ellie looked down at the floor, biting the inside of her lip until she tasted blood.
Fighting one pain with another.
‘Naturally we wish to be married as soon as possible,’ Silvia went on brightly.
‘So I suggested that Angelo should come down here in person and talk to you.
Put his powers of persuasion to good use rather than issue an ultimatum from a distance.
When his heart is set on a thing, he becomes quite impossible to resist, don’t you find?‘And as he is now instructing his lawyers, his methods were clearly successful.’ She gave a little gurgle of laughter.
‘He has always believed that the end justifies the means and I understand he had you eating out of the palm of his hand.’She paused again.
‘But we now feel that for his grandmother’s sake—and to spare Madrina’s feelings too—it would be better if your marriage was quietly annulled.
After all, cara, neither of you wished to marry the other, so it should be quite simple to arrange.’‘I know very little of these things.’ Ellie was astonished to hear the steadiness of her own voice.
‘But I’ll sign whatever paperwork is necessary, if that’s what you came to hear.
And now I’d like you to go.’Silvia rose unhurriedly, smoothing her skirt.
‘You seem a little disturbed, cara.’ Her gaze searched her cousin’s white face.
‘The situation is awkward, perhaps, but there is no real need for embarrassment between us.
Whatever Angelo felt obliged to do was for my sake and the sake of our future together.
I know this, so please believe that I do not begrudge the time he spent with you, or how it was spent.
And I wish you well.’Ellie did not reply.
Somehow she managed to get to the door without stumbling, and hold it open for her unwanted visitor.
Somehow, she managed to close it and lock it behind her.
Then she bolted to the bathroom and was instantly and violently sick.
‘You are selling Casa Bianca?’ The Signora stared at Ellie in disbelief.
‘Your grandmother’s house where you have known such happiness for so long? No, it is impossible.
You could not do such a thing.’‘I’m afraid that I must.’ Ellie gave her neighbour a strained smile.
‘Coming here for all these years has been wonderful, but nothing lasts forever, and my life is going to be very different from now on.
In fact I’m probably going to get a job in England and live there, so it—it’s time to sell.’She added, ‘Someone from the property company is coming to give a valuation this afternoon.
I wanted to tell you myself before he arrived.’‘But why—why do you do this? Italy is your home.
Your friends are here.
Also your family.’Ellie winced inwardly.
‘But I’m going to find another home, somewhere else.
I—I need to make a change.
I’ve been thinking about it for a while.’‘I know this while,’ the Signora said darkly.
‘It is since your handsome man went away.
You cannot deceive me, Elena.’ She made an impassioned gesture.
‘So if he comes back, and you are no longer here—what then? How will he find you?’Ellie took a deep breath.
‘There’s no question of that.
I have my own life to deal with.
No-one else is involved.’‘But you were happy with him,’ the Signora said gently.
‘All the world could see it.
Now it is different—as if a light inside you has gone out.’ She paused.
‘And there will be sadness here too.
You will be much missed by myself and many others.
Poco will grieve.’Ellie bent to fondle the little dog’s ears.
‘Perhaps your new neighbours will like walking too,’ she whispered to him.
Detaching herself would not be easy, Ellie thought when she was back in her own living room.
But it had to be done.
She could neither stay here nor return to Rome.
She had to find some other place where she could hide until the wounds Silvia had so contemptuously inflicted had healed.
Somewhere her cousin would never find.
Or Angelo either …Our next meeting …It was those casual words from his letter, now torn up and burned, which had forced this drastic action from her.
Because the thought of having to see him again, even briefly in the formality of a lawyer’s office, was totally, and hideously unbearable.
His betrayal of her was worse than she could ever have imagined, leaving her hollow with pain and shock.
It was also incomprehensible because he already knew from the note she’d left she was willing to divorce him.
There was no need for any extra ‘persuasion’ from him with or without Silvia’s sanction, so why had he gone to those lengths to seduce her? To lure her into a fantasy world and pretend such tenderness—such desire.
She shuddered, her throat tightening with renewed misery.
It was cynical, wicked, unforgivable.
But the person she most needed to forgive was herself—for allowing it to happen.
For letting him indulge his sexual ego at her expense.
If he’d needed to make sure she’d meant what she said, why hadn’t he been honest with her—told her that he had resumed his affair with her cousin and that Silvia was pregnant? It would have hurt terribly, but it would hardly have been any great surprise.
A blow she’d been expecting to fall.
Besides, the raw and monstrous pain now tearing her apart was far worse.
Yet that was not her only torment.
Because even hating him as she did—as she must do—could not confer any kind of immunity from him.
On the contrary, she had to face the humiliating truth that she dared not risk another confrontation.
That her anger and misery over his treachery might not be sufficient protection.
That if he smiled at her, moved towards her or—dear God—touched her, she might not be able to trust herself to turn away.
She needed another refuge and fast.
A place where no-one would dream of looking for her.
Not Nonna Cosima, Madrina or even Tullia, she thought with a pang.
And once they learned the reason for her sudden disappearance, as they soon would, none of them could really blame her.
A place where she would be safe, she told herself with a sigh.
And where she might one day forget that she was also running from herself.
‘And they lived happily ever after.’ The story drawn to its proper conclusion, Ellie closed her book and smiled down at the semi-circle of entranced faces in front of her.
‘More, signorina, more,’ a chorus of small voices petitioned, but she shook her head.
‘It is almost time for the lunch bell.
If you are late, Mother Felicitas might say there must be no more stories.’However far-fetched the threat, the children accepted it and trooped off.
Ellie slid the book into her bag, and rose, preparing to follow them, then paused, walking instead to the sunlit window.
It was a wonderful view of rolling green hills, shimmering in the haze of summer heat, interspersed with fields of yellow mustard and scarlet poppies.
The nearest town was a mere smudge on the horizon.
Directly below was a small paved courtyard with a mulberry tree, its canopy shading a wooden seat, which had become one of Ellie’s favourite places.
The convent was the perfect sanctuary, she thought.
And she would never be able to sufficiently repay Mother Felicitas for offering it to her.
Or for asking so few questions.
When Ellie had told her haltingly that her marriage was over, she had simply expressed quiet concern.