Swallowing hard, I tilt my chin up, inviting him to give me the kiss I want so badly even though I shouldn’t. George is still recovering and this may all be symptomatic. I may only be a method to cope, and maybe later he’ll regret it. But I can’t fight it. If he wants to kiss me, I’ll let him.
One hand finds the back of my neck and he pulls me toward him. When our mouths collide, his other hand wraps around my back just above my waist and he slams me to him. As his tongue dips in to my mouth, I moan, letting my hands rest on his biceps. In the warm water I can feel his length, hard, pressing against my belly, causing a delicious ache to blossom between my legs. The kiss is fierce and bold, the two of us clinging to each other for dear life. After all, George and I are floating, desperately seeking footing so we can stay planted to the ground. Perhaps we’ll ground each other.
When George pulls away, I tremble, my body missing his warmth against it. The corner of his mouth curves slightly as his soft gaze lingers on my lips. “Thank you,” he says, quietly.
George just gave me the best first kiss I’ve ever had. Will never kissed me like this—with such intensity. I’m pretty sure it’s the best first kiss any girl has ever had. I should be thanking him. So I do. I slam my body to his and kiss him again, my want for him conveyed by the desire on my lips. My kisses tell him there’s more, so much more to me, but I’m not ready to tell him everything just yet. He groans with arousal and I kiss him harder one last time. When I pull away, I say, “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s . . . amazing.”
I stood outside the Jefferson Pools while George and Charlotte were inside. When they exited, they were holding hands, and I could feel my brother’s happiness radiating from him. He’s falling for her. My brother and I are in love with the same girl. I half laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.
Flashing back to the motel, I wait in my chair for Charlotte to return. I won’t tell her I followed her. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t be herself around George or for her to get the creeps because I was following her.
An hour later, the door opens and she flips on the light. She jumps when she sees me, but laughs as she grabs her chest. “You’re trying to give me a heart attack, aren’t you?”
I smile and stand. “Just keeping you on your toes.”
“Where have you been?”
“You told me to give you space to work so I’ve been trying to do that.”
“Oh,” she mumbles as she tosses her bag on the floor by the bed. She climbs on the bed and yawns, her hair still damp from the water. “George took me to the Jefferson Pools. It was pretty nice.”
Shoving my hands in my pockets, I say, “I’m glad you’re getting the full Bath County experience.” When her gaze meets mine, I see the sadness and the guilt in her eyes. I know she feels bad about wanting us both, but she feels worse because she knows I can do nothing about it, no matter what.
“Will you lie down with me?” She pats the bed beside her and I want to say no, to resist, but I can’t. If this is all I can have of her for this short time, I’m going to take it, no matter how wrong it is. I lunge and jump as if I’ll land on top of her. She shrieks and laughs when I morph and end up lying beside her.
“Why does that always freak me out?”
“I don’t know,” I chuckle. Turning to face her, her gray eyes meet mine and she smiles softly. “How’d it go tonight?” I ask, even though I already know.
Her eyes dart away for a brief moment before meeting mine again. “He likes me . . . like, really likes me,” she says, quietly.
“Do you like him?” I ask, even though, again, I already know the answer.
Her eyes brim with tears and she turns her face into her pillow. “This is such a fucked up situation, Ike,” she says. I close my eyes, pained by all the things I am incapable of. I want to hold her and kiss her, and press my body to hers, but I can’t. None of what I feel for her matters because I can never give her what she needs. And I have to remind myself of that. I have to let her go eventually. She cares for me . . . I know it. I feel it every time she looks at me. But I’m dead. She shouldn’t feel guilty about caring for my brother, too. I have to let her know it’s okay; that I understand.
“It’s okay to like him, Charlotte,” I tell her softly. “Don’t feel bad because you . . .” Like me, too? Should I say that?
“It’s not just about you being dead, Ike. Who lets themselves fall for twin brothers? What kind of person am I to say that I love you both?”
And there it is. She loves us both. My heart twists. “If you are going to share your heart with another man other than me, I’d want it to be George.”
“If you were both alive, I’d never choose, Ike. I’d leave. I could never choose one of you over the other. I’d never want to hurt either of you.”
Smiling, I say, “I guess it’s a good thing it worked out this way. You weren’t given a choice, Charlotte. The choice is already made.”