Where One Goes

“Because I never asked about your story. I never asked what you’ve been through. I’m an asshole for asking you to help George when you’re going through so much yourself.”

 

I fidget with the edge of a pillowcase, flicking the material back and forth between my fingers. My story is so . . . depressing, I’m not sure I want to tell him.

 

“I’d like to know, Charlotte. Tell me. Please.” When I look up, I meet his gaze and nod.

 

“Well . . .” I start and sort of snort. “Where the hell do I begin?”

 

“I want to know everything,” he answers, and I take a deep breath.

 

“Well . . . I grew up in Jackson County in Oklahoma. My mother’s a school teacher, she works in special education,” I add, “and my father is a pharmaceutical rep for a company called Lincoln. And I had an older brother, Axel,” I nearly choke as I say his name. I’ve rarely said it out loud in years, and I forgot the emotion speaking his name evokes from me. “He was three years older than me,” I finally manage. “We weren’t twins, but we were close. I don’t think anyone cried harder than me when he left for college,” I laugh and meet Ike’s gaze. “I suppose I was more enamored with my big brother than he was with me. I saw him as my confidant, my best friend, and he saw me as his baby sister he had to protect from everything. But he wasn’t overbearing or anything. I think he knew if he tried to tell me what to do, I would stop confiding in him. He was smart that way.” I stand and stretch before moving to the dresser where I have a half-filled bottle of water, taking a large swig before I continue.

 

“So of course, when I graduated, there was no other college I wanted to go to other than the one he was at. I’m not sure how he felt about it, but he never said anything to deter me, so off I went. Six years ago I was a freshman at Oklahoma State University. At the beginning of the second semester, I had joined a sorority and made some friends. I hung out with Axel every chance I could, but his fraternity kept him busy. One night, I was at this mixer, a paint mixer,” I laugh sadly. “Drunk off my ass and covered from head to toe in fluorescent paint several college boys had graciously rubbed all over me.”

 

“Lucky bastards,” Ike chimes in with a smirk.

 

“There was this girl, Melissa, I was friends with that had a huge crush on Axel. Somewhere along the evening she managed to grab my phone and take a picture of me dancing, sandwiched between two guys and texted it to Axel.”

 

Ike snorts a little laugh. “Let me guess. Axel showed up?”

 

“Yeah. But he didn’t try to drag me out or anything. I found out later any guy he saw talking to me got a very stern threat to remain two feet away from me at all times,” I laugh. “I couldn’t understand why guys started avoiding me.” I sip my water again, my hand trembling as I bring the bottle to my mouth. “So eventually I got bored and asked him to take me home. He rode this badass Harley, spent his life’s savings to get it. He’d only had it a year, and the purchase had definitely caused a rift between him and my parents. But Axel was . . .” My gaze moves to the ceiling as I search for the best way to describe him. “He was loyal to a fault. A good son, always had good grades, played football, yada yada. He rarely went against the grain, and when my parents threatened to stop paying his tuition, I was surprised he wouldn’t budge. He loved that bike.”

 

I move back to the bed and sit with my legs crisscrossed again, grabbing my hair tie off the nightstand and twisting my hair into a messy bun. “He gave me his helmet to wear that night. Less than a mile from my dorm, a drunk senior turned left in front of us and we hit him going forty miles per hour. When I woke up, I was in an ambulance, the paramedics messing with me, and Axel was beside me, unscathed, staring down at me. I could tell I was in bad shape by the look on his face.”

 

I pause, willing myself not to breakdown. “‘Hold tight, Char. Everything is going to be okay,’ he’d said.” Tears brim my eyes as I remember him, the way his voice trembled as he spoke to me. “I went unconscious. I had broken my back and my right leg. I had some swelling on my brain, even though I had been wearing a helmet, and they put me in an induced coma until the swelling went down. When I finally came to, my parents were so relieved and crying. I was really groggy and tired, but when I saw Axel smiling at me, I thought everything would be okay. He nodded once at me and said, ‘I love you. Always remember that.’” I swallow hard around the lump in my throat.

 

“I was in and out of consciousness for a day or two, but when I finally came to fully, the doctors began telling me about the road ahead and my recovery. When they left, I looked at my mother and asked, ‘Where’s Axel?’”

 

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