Meeting Sam had given him purpose again. She knew that, as much as she knew he gave her a reason to get up in the morning, too. It was getting harder for her to imagine a time without him, and she knew that was a good thing. It didn’t matter anymore that they hadn’t known each other very long. The heart wants what it wants, and you can try to deny it, or give in, let go and acknowledge you sometimes don’t have one hundred percent control over your life. Destiny and fate have a say, too.
But today’s argument had been much worse than any little squabble they’d had over the past three months. She chalked it up to the pressure-cooker situation they’d been thrust into, but part of her knew it was more than that. Xander had checked out from the world on purpose. Being with Sam was forcing him back into it. And she wondered if that was a good thing.
Saying he’d be good at something that wasn’t along the lines of the life he’d chosen was tantamount to saying she wanted to change him, and she honestly didn’t. She was perfectly content with his choices. They brought him peace, a peace he’d earned after his service, after what he’d seen.
What she was wondering was how they were going to align his desire to be left alone on top of his mountain with her clear desire to be in the thick of things.
She wasn’t ready to deal with the knowledge that being at FBI headquarters, seeing Baldwin, working with him on this case, was bringing back a long-dormant part of her psyche—the part that made her such a good medical examiner in the first place.
Curiosity.
She had it in spades.
She’d been a reluctant participant in anything more complicated than determining whether a person died from cardiac arrest or cerebral hemorrhage for nearly two years. She could tell that was over. Done. She wanted to be involved in this case. Wanted to help solve it.
And wanted, perhaps, to work on some more.
So what did that mean for her and Xander?
She glanced over at him, driving in the now deep darkness through the dimly lit streets of Georgetown, arm casually resting on the steering wheel, a hand over his shoulder massaging Thor’s ears. It was going to take some doing to get him to fit seamlessly into this new world she was walking into.
But she loved him enough to make it work.
“Hey,” she said softly.
He looked over, face hopeful. He’d caught her tone, heard the unspoken apology.
“I was a bitch this afternoon. I’m so sorry.”
He touched her knee with his right hand. “No, you weren’t. I can see how intriguing this is for you. You’re all lit up inside. Watching you in action today, seeing you save that woman’s life—I was a bit in awe, to tell you the truth. And a little jealous. I can see it might steal your attention.”
“This is what I’m good at.”
“That’s clear as glass, sweetheart. I’m not going to stand in your way anymore. Just promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“Be careful. I can’t lose you, not to something that would have been easily avoidable if I went all caveman on you and forced you to stay home making me pancakes. All right?”
They hit the red light at M Street and Wisconsin Avenue. She smiled, scooted over in the seat, leaned over the gearshift and kissed him. She wasn’t gentle about it, either, and she felt him respond. Teasing, she pulled away, back to her own space.
“Light’s green,” she said.
“I don’t care. Come back here.”
He kissed her, hard, and she felt it all the way through her body as if she’d been struck by lightning.
The car behind them laid on the horn, three long bursts, and they came up for air, laughing. It felt good. Right. This was how things were supposed to be between them.
She let her hand linger on his thigh. “We’re only a few minutes from home. Hurry.”
Chapter
37
Georgetown
THE HOUSE WAS dark when Xander pulled the Jeep to the curb. Sam waited on the front step while he took Thor for a quick potty break. They joined her quickly, and as she went to unlock the door, Thor suddenly started growling.
Sam could feel Thor’s sides quivering, the hair standing on end on his neck. “What is it, boy? What do you hear?”
Thor took two steps toward the front door, completely on alert.
“Pass auf!” Xander said, a term she’d heard him use before. It meant heads-up. All of Xander’s commands for Thor were in German, ensuring that a stranger couldn’t confuse him with his own orders.
Thor quivered, sniffed the air and barked once. Something was wrong with the house.
Xander pulled Sam back, reached for the doorknob, turned it slowly. It was unlocked. They never left the door unlocked.
Xander’s entire demeanor changed. He went operational in a second, so quickly Sam didn’t even see him reach for the Glock 17 he had stashed in his ankle holster.
“Stay here,” he whispered to her, then spoke to the dog. “Thor. Voran! Such!”
She knew the commands—take the lead, search.
He pushed open the front door. Thor burst inside. Xander followed with the gun leveled. They disappeared into the dark and Sam paused, but there was no way she was going to stand on the stoop alone. She stepped just inside the door, heard Thor going wild in the living room, barking his meanest, deepest warnings. A decidedly female shriek rang out.