She hung up, looked at Xander.
“At least now we know,” he said.
“Yes,” she said. “Now we know. He’s right, we need proof. The word of a dead man who clearly was compromised by his disease will get them in the door, but Mac Picker’s smart. He won’t have this stuff lying around the office. We need another play. We need someone to talk.”
“I doubt Curtis Lott and Lauren will be willing to provide it. They’ve already said all they have to say until their trials.”
She smiled at him. “I think I have a better idea.”
Chapter
61
Lynchburg, Virginia
FLETCHER DROVE SAM to the Lynchburg law offices of Benedict, Picker, Green and Thompson, a look of concern etched on his face. “You think I’m crazy for doing this, don’t you?”
“Yep. It could backfire. They know you’ve been hanging out with the cops. They aren’t stupid. On the contrary, these people are so incredibly smart, they’ll make you immediately if you don’t handle this perfectly. If they see even a hint that you’re lying, they’ll kill you. You need to be convincing. More than convincing.”
“I understand your concern. I really do. But, Fletcher, you have to trust me. I have a lot of experience being this particular woman. Firsthand knowledge. I spent two years being her. People looked at me like I was addled in the brain because of what happened. Who knows, maybe they were right to think I was screwed up.”
“You were screwed up.”
She shot him a glance.
“Sorry. And I’m sorry for this, too. I gotta ask, sunshine, and don’t take this the wrong way, but three days ago you were shaking like a leaf on the floor of Matcliff’s cabin, rattled to the core because some stranger had singled you out. Are you absolutely sure you can do this?”
Sam was quiet for a minute. She allowed herself a moment to think back to the episode at the cabin. It seemed as if more than three days had passed. It felt like a lifetime.
Something had changed in her. The pervasive panic was gone. She didn’t feel it anymore, lurking around the edges of her mind like a stalking lion, ready to clamp its jaws around her thin, delicate leg, twist her down to the earth and rip out her throat.
She’d spent two years in a fog, barely able to function, to breathe, to think of her family without shutting down, forcing her hands under piping-hot water in punishment. Suddenly the need to punish herself was gone, and its absence was extraordinary.
She touched them then in her mind—Simon, his geeky glasses and floppy hair and crooked grin, the man she’d loved since they were teenagers; Madeline and Matthew, twins who’d shared her womb; the faceless little stranger taken from her by force. Four reasons for living, four senseless deaths.
She waited for the urge to overtake her, but it didn’t.
This must be what they meant when they talked about acceptance. And hope.
She took a deep breath. “You want to know the worst part of losing Simon and the kids? Aside from their permanent absence, I mean? The pity. People pitied me. And damn it, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want their pity, their shoulders to cry on, their casseroles and whispers. I lost my world, and they just looked at me like I was the girl in the after-school special, incapable and sad and not myself. I didn’t become a different person, but everyone treated me differently. This is one of the big reasons I moved to D.C. You, and Xander, and Nocek—you don’t pity me. You understand what I’ve been through without making me feel bad about it. And I love all of you for it. But I am strong and capable and sick to death of these shackles. I refuse to feel guilty anymore for being happy. I’m going to go by the beat of my own drummer, and to hell with what people think.”
The voice in her head stood up and took a bow.
Fletcher’s face broke into a huge grin, making the bandage on his neck shift. “Well said, sister.” He held up a hand and high-fived her, making her laugh.
“You seem awfully happy, my friend.”
“That’s because as of this morning I’ve officially been promoted. Improves my outlook on life.”
“To lieutenant? Congratulations. But I thought you wanted out?”
“I did. I don’t know what possessed me to say yes, but I did, and so it’s happening.”
“What’s Jordan think?”
“She’s really happy for me.”
“I’m happy for you, too, Fletch.” She put her hand on his arm, hoped he understood she was talking about more than his promotion. “Let’s get this over with.”
Fletcher spoke into his comms unit, checked off everyone listening. They were all set. He raised an eyebrow. “You ready?”
Sam adjusted the small wireless microphone they’d taped between her breasts, making sure there was no way anyone would suspect it was there, then gave him a sly smile. “Don’t worry. I was the lead in every school play we had. I’ve got this.”