Twenty-One
Grant turned the knob on the back door, surprised to find it locked. He knew it was later than usual, but he’d promised he’d come over. Had she gone to bed? Surely she wouldn’t just forget.
Just as he was pulling his cell phone out to call her, Tessa flipped on the kitchen light and came rushing to the door to unlock it.
“Sorry. I was trying to watch for you, but with your black ninja gear it was kind of hard to see.”
“I assumed it would be unlocked,” he told her as he came in and shut the door behind him.
“I prefer it to stay locked while the movie is being filmed. Never know what crazies will go traipsing around.”
When she crossed her arms over her chest and glanced around the room, Grant stepped forward. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Meeting his gaze and attempting—and failing—to smile, she shrugged. “Just trying to stay cautious.”
He rested his hands on her slender shoulders. “I live in a land where people get paid to lie. You, my darling, are terrible at it. Now, what’s going on?”
“Aaron was inside my house when Cassie dropped me off.”
“What? Why didn’t you call me right then?”
Tessa shrugged. “Honestly, I was trying to figure out how to protect you. I didn’t want you rushing over here. What if he stayed behind? What if he was waiting for you? He could’ve snapped pictures and held them over you for blackmail, or he could’ve started an altercation. I couldn’t chance it.”
“I don’t give a damn about me, Tessa. You’re obviously shaken up. I should’ve been here.” Rage boiled within Grant at some bastard who thought it was okay to toy with her. “What the hell was he doing in your house?”
“He apparently used the hidden key, which I have since removed.”
She stepped away from Grant and started toward the living room. After turning on the lamp on the end table, she took a seat in the corner of the floral sofa. When she crossed her arms around her waist and stared up at him, Grant settled directly in front of her on the squat coffee table.
“What did he say?” he asked, trying to keep his anger under control, when in reality he was ready to punch this Aaron jerk in the face.
“Just that he wanted me back, that he made a mistake.” Tessa’s eyes met his. “He also saw us kissing.”
Grant cursed, raking a hand over his head. “Well, we can’t change that now. If he says anything we can just call him a jealous ex who didn’t like a Hollywood type staying here.”
“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I don’t want to come between you and this film. I just wanted to make sure he was gone, and I knew you’d be discreet coming out tonight.”
Grant reached for her hands. “Nothing will come between me and the film...or me and you.”
He would go to Bronson and Anthony and just explain, he decided. At this point, he needed to tell them, because he was falling deeper and deeper in love with Tessa and couldn’t avoid the truth any longer.
Besides, he wanted to stop hiding. It wasn’t fair to the relationship they’d developed, and it wasn’t fair to her. What they had was special and couldn’t be kept behind closed doors.
Glancing down at their joined hands, Grant zeroed in on the bruises on her forearm.
“What the hell is this?” he asked, gently stroking her skin. His eyes came back up to hers. “Tessa?”
“Aaron was pretty upset when I refused him and demanded he leave. Nothing I couldn’t take care of.”
Grant came to his feet. “He assaulted you.”
Tessa leaned her head back on the sofa and laughed. Actually laughed, while he was fuming with rage.
“He didn’t assault me,” she corrected. “He grabbed me, I threatened to call the cops, he left. End of story.”
“This is not something to blow off.” Grant sank onto the cushion next to her. With a sigh, he reached up to stroke her cheek. “Why do I find your independence so appealing?”
Shrugging, she smiled and nestled her face against his palm. “Same reason I find your arrogance and white knight routine appealing.”
“I wish you would’ve called me. I’d gladly accept an altercation and an opportunity to punch him in his face.”
“I was fine. Besides, you’d just been here and I knew you needed to talk to Bronson and Anthony about the film. You coming right back would only confirm Aaron’s allegations. Right now he has no proof and just sounds like a jealous ex.”
“Nothing is more important than you, Tessa.” Grant cupped his other hand over her cheek and forced her to look him in the eye. “Nothing.”
“I’m fine,” she repeated.
“I hate seeing you hurt, knowing some bastard put his hands on you.”
“He’s not coming back, and if he tries to blackmail me, we’ll face this together.”
Grant shook his head. “Yes, we will. But I worry—”
She placed a fingertip over his lips as her gaze held his. Their conversation from a few nights ago kept replaying in his mind, and she knew exactly what he was thinking.
“Slick, you can’t keep me down. I know you are scared of the horses, I know me riding them bothers you, but it’s who I am. I might get hurt, but I’ll get over it and move on. And I hope I do all of that with you.” Her other hand slid up his chest and around his neck. “Now are we going to talk all night or are you going to take me to bed?”
Grant laughed. “I’ve created a monster.”
“And you love every minute of it.”
True. He did. But if he ever got a hold of this Aaron jerk, he’d pummel his face for the marks he’d put on Tessa. No man should ever lay his hands on a woman in such a manner.
And Grant might just have to look the guy up to remind him of that.
* * *
The Kentucky Derby was the most prestigious horse race known to man—and there was so much more to it than oversize hats and mint juleps. The buildup, the anticipation, the glamour all centered around a few short moments on the track and a lifetime of praise for one lucky winner.
And Tessa was going to be that winner. She’d trained her whole life for this. Waited to follow in her father’s footsteps, knowing she’d be the first female jockey to win.
Nerves danced in her belly. She knew Grant and his crew were here taping, but she didn’t have time to worry about their job...she had her own job to do.
Once the race was over, she’d see Grant—hopefully in the winner’s circle. So far Aaron had kept away, and hopefully, he would stay that way. Right now, she didn’t have space in her mind for him.
“You’ve got this,” Cassie said, holding on to the lead line and taking Don Pedro toward the gates. “It’s a beautiful day for a race.”
Tessa glanced over to the beautiful women in their delicate, colorful hats, the men in pale suits. The laughter, the drinking, the betting—she loved the whole ambience. There was something magical about the Derby and she wanted to take a piece of that magic home with her—the same way her father had done.
“I’m proud of my girls.” Damon walked on the other side of the horse and escorted them to the gate. “Both of you have done me proud no matter how today turns out. Your mother would be proud, too.”
Tessa didn’t want to get choked up, didn’t want to even think of the fact that her mother wasn’t here to share in this monumental moment.
Eyes straight ahead, Tessa focused on the beauty of the sunshine, the soft gentle breeze. Seriously, the day couldn’t be more perfect.
As she lined up amid the other jockeys, she didn’t speak and barely threw a smile to those on either side of her. While the horse racing industry was a close-knit community, Tessa had never been one to be too chummy just before a race. Everyone had their own little quirks, and hers was that she got into the zone by focusing and having chitchats with herself in peace and quiet.
The crowd cheered, creating a roar over the entire track. Nothing mattered but the end.
Tessa gripped the reins with one hand and reached down to pat Don Pedro with the other. It was showtime.
* * *
Tessa and Don Pedro were immediately swallowed up by press, cameras and family in the winner’s circle. Grant wanted to go to her, tell her that he’d decided to come clean with Bronson and Anthony. He wanted her to know that she came first in his life.
But he remained where he was near the grandstands. He wanted to talk to her in private, wanted to be able to have her undivided attention and let her know that she was the most important part of his life.
He also wanted to get to Bronson and Anthony soon, because he didn’t want them hearing it from an outside source.
No way in hell would he let Aaron get any pleasure from grade-school-level tattling.
Grant hated lying, and he thought for sure Anthony and Bronson would understand. But they’d have to tell Marty, and he wasn’t so understanding.
* * *
Hours later, when Tessa was back in her Louisville home, because most jockeys and owners kept a place in the area, Grant knocked on her door, ready to come clean, to tell her what he’d decided. Excitement and nervousness flooded him.
When she opened her door, her red hair was down, free from the tight bun she’d had it in while racing. Her face was void of any makeup and she’d put on an oversize denim shirt and black leggings.
“Grant.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I thought I would’ve seen you after the race.”
Yeah, he knew she’d be upset about that, but he honestly couldn’t go to her just then. He’d needed to be alone with her, to tell her what had transpired while she’d been fulfilling her dreams. He had some dreams of his own...and every single one of them included her.
“I couldn’t get down to you.” Mentally, he hadn’t been able to, he added silently as he stepped over the threshold. “We need to talk.”
Her eyes widened, but she nodded as she moved toward the open living room. When she picked up a large bag of ice and eased down onto the sofa, Grant eyed her.
“What happened?”
She lifted her shirt and shifted the ice pack beneath it, wincing as she did. “I was careless.”
That sliver of fear slid through him, gliding right over the excitement he’d felt only seconds ago.
“What happened?” he repeated.
Settling back against the cushions, Tessa closed her eyes and sighed. “We were in the barns, and Nash was brushing Don Pedro. I stepped behind another horse and got kicked. Rookie mistake, but my mind was elsewhere.”
Grant rested his hip on the edge of the couch and started unbuttoning her shirt from the bottom. “Let me see.”
“It’s not a big deal, Grant.”
Ignoring her protest, he got four buttons undone and slid the material aside before removing the ice pack.
The giant bruise covered her entire side, and it sickened him to see her delicate skin so marred. But so much more could’ve happened to her. There was no guarantee that because she was a professional she was exempt from injuries.
“Tell me you went to the hospital to have this checked out,” he exclaimed, eyeing her.
“Gee, thanks for the congratulations on my win, Slick.”
He met her gaze, knowing her victory was the most important moment of her life so far. “I’ve never been more proud. We got some good shots of you, by the way.”
“Really?” she asked, her smile beaming. “That’s awesome.”
“Now, please tell me you had this looked at.”
Rolling her eyes, she nodded. “The on-site doctor actually had a portable X-ray machine. I have two cracked ribs, but I’m fine.”
Cracked ribs? The countless possibilities of what could’ve happened filled his mind and made his stomach clench.
“Fine?” Grant sighed, gently replacing the ice and leaving her shirt undone. “This isn’t fine, Tessa. That careless mistake could’ve cost you more than just a few cracked ribs.”
Brows drawn together, she stared up at him. “What is wrong with you? I said I’m fine. They will heal.”
He got to his feet, paced the spacious living area, trying to find the words. He’d had his mind made up when he’d come. He was ready to drop the film for her, ready to give this a try, but how could he when she reminded him of that painful time in his past? How could he be with her knowing she lived the life that had crippled his sister and held a choke hold on him, as well?
Damn it. He hated how quickly he could be reduced to being so vulnerable where Tessa was concerned. Tears burned his eyes and he gave himself a minute before he spoke.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered as he turned back to look at her. “We can’t do this anymore.”
She tried to straighten up, but cried out in pain and held her side. “Don’t do this to me.”
When he started to step forward to help her, she shot daggers at him with her eyes, so he stopped. “Don’t...not if you’re ending things.”
“I can’t handle this, seeing you hurt, knowing at any time you could be paralyzed, too.”
“We’ve been over this,” she cried. “I thought we’d moved past all of this fear you had. Did you even call your sister like I asked you to?”
Grant shook his head, cursing the tears still threatening to consume him. “I will. I swear. I’m just... I can’t go all-in yet with you. I love you, but...”
With careful movements, Tessa rose to her feet and clutched her shirt around her torso. “You’re a coward, Grant Carter. You can’t take on a relationship with me until you tackle the relationship with your sister. And I don’t want a man in my life who can’t live with me the way I am.”
Grant didn’t blame her for being angry, Hell, he was angry with himself. This wasn’t what he’d planned to tell her when he arrived, but once he’d seen her hurt, that torrent of fear had rushed through him again and he realized he couldn’t live his life always worried.
Tears gathered in Tessa’s eyes, but she lifted her chin and narrowed her gaze. “You have no idea what I would give up for you. I’d give up everything this second if I knew you were ready, because I believe in us. I believe in you. But you have to face Melanie.”
Grant stepped forward, stopping when she held up her hand. “No. I don’t want to hear it. You obviously already made your choice.”
Swallowing back emotions, he shoved his hands into his pockets. “I can’t be anything to you with how my life is right now, Tessa.”
“You can’t be anything to me until you decide that what we have is more powerful than your fear.”
She turned to walk from the room, throwing a glance over her shoulder. “Lock the door on your way out.”
And she was gone. The hurt in her voice, the unshed tears...he’d caused all that.
It was time to talk to Melanie, put this nightmare from his past to rest one way or another.
He’d lost his sister years ago, and now he’d lost the woman he loved and wanted to spend his life with.
Tessa was right. He’d been a coward, but no more. It was time to face those demons that had chased away everything good in his life.