What Goes Around

chapter FORTY

‘Hi, Luke…’

My face is burning as I look up from the table as he comes down the hall.

Jess has gone to visit her mum in Wales, he told me when I rang about the uniform, and I told him a bit about last night.

My neighbour lets him in and, after a few moments of chat, she gives me a hug and leaves, telling me if I need her, just to call.

The strange thing is, I might.

I can’t look at him.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says and I frown, because an apology from Luke I wasn’t expecting. ‘I knew you were in trouble.’ He sits at the table with me. ‘I should have made you see your GP.’ I look up and he closes his eyes. ‘We shouldn’t have left you on your own last night.’

‘You offered to come over.’

‘Yeah,’ he gives a pale smile. ‘I shouldn’t have listened when you said no.’

He looks at me for a very long time.

‘You need to sort yourself out.’

‘I know.’

‘Properly.’

‘I know.’

He tells me how worried he is and I get a very long lecture about taking better care of myself. He just drones on and on but, at one point, he gets really cross with me.

‘It’s not just the f*cking cream,’ he says, he actually stands at that point, he leans over the table and shouts at me. ‘Was the missing cream the problem when you shagged Noel?’

I start to cry.

‘Was the missing cream the problem when you forgot to wash?’

‘Please Luke,’ I beg him to leave it.

‘No, I will not leave it,’ he shouts. ‘Your daughter needs you and you need to do whatever it takes to be here for her.’

‘I get it.’

‘I don’t think you do…’ Luke says. ‘I lost my mum. I had a single mum and I know how I felt when she was ill…’ He doesn’t say any more than that about it. ‘You need to ring your mum and get her over here.’

I don’t want to though.

‘Lucy, even if you don’t need her now, then Charlotte does…’

He waits while I ring her and he waits till she is here.

Then he leaves me alone with Mum.