chapter Nine
Claudia could have laughed at her naiveté, a mere handful of days after long division, if she didn’t want so badly to howl at the moon. She’d moped around for days, trying to get hold of Nate, but he wasn’t answering his phone. He never had answered her cake question, and now she didn’t think she wanted to bring it up again, in case she wasn’t getting his subtle hint to drop the whole thing.
She’d tried to talk Zoe into calling him earlier. They still had to go over the build-out plans Nate had left at the apartment on Saturday. But Zoe was absolutely refusing, in retaliation for Claudia making her deal with Dex, the lawyer, and May wasn’t in a position to make any final decisions, since her partnership was still up in the air.
Which left Claudia with a phone call to make. She had even briefly thought of letting her mom handle things, but she was afraid of what might come out of her mother’s mouth.
She sighed, thinking that he hadn’t even taken them out to dinner on Monday as he had promised. She had really screwed things up with those kisses and letting him give her an orgasm. Though she really couldn’t regret that last one. It far out ranked anything her trusty vibrator could provide.
Grabbing up the phone, she punched out his number before she could lose her nerve.
He picked up on the third ring. “I was just going to call you.”
“I doubt that, since you’ve been avoiding me the last several days.” She certainly hadn’t meant to sound so sharp, had in fact meant to be nice and forget anything had happened this last week at all, from Zoe’s very first mention of cake onward, but something inside her was playing the devil.
“I haven’t been avoiding you.”
“Yeah, right.”
There was a long pause, and she thought he’d hung up on her until he cleared his throat. “Look, I wasn’t avoiding you completely. Grandma Stelle had a doctor’s appointment on Monday, and she’s not doing so well. Mom is having fits, and I’ve been on the phone day and night with her, talking about nursing homes.”
“That must have been fun. I bet Stelle is not liking that at all.” Nate’s grandma was stubborn to a fault, and she had always said she would die before she went to one of those “old folks’ homes.”
Claudia knew she should be relieved that he’d been preoccupied and not completely avoiding her, but they had always talked about this kind of thing. Normally, she’d have been the first one he called—before all that mess this weekend. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Do you have a muzzle? Or two?”
“The only one I have I’m using on Justin lately.” The rhythm of their conversation was slowly resuming its normal pace. She did not want to lose this connection, regardless of what did or did not happen in the bedroom department. “It must be a ‘fits-having’ kind of couple of days.”
“They aren’t the only females giving me fits right now, either.” There was another pause and another throat clearing. “Do you have time today, Claudia? I think we should talk. Face to face would be better.”
Why? So he could turn down her cake offer to her face? Not going to happen if she could help it. The build-out on Decadence could wait until this all quietly faded away. “Uh, no. I don’t think I have time at all today, and probably not for the next week or so. But we should definitely set up a time to go over the plans. Or you can meet with Zoe another day. I’m sure she can handle it all without a problem.” Her pulse was frantic, her heart bumping into her breastbone to the point she was afraid it would be on the table any minute now.
“Now who’s avoiding?”
“I am,” she said and hung up before he could say another word.
Of course that wasn’t the end of it, and Claudia knew it. The other shoe would drop at some point. In the meantime, she had a shop to run.
Downstairs, Claudia opened a new box of supplies that had arrived that morning, poking around inside to see what kind of fun new cake decorators had come her way. Nothing but those Styrofoam peanuts, yet, but she had hope her new professional-grade rind grater was somewhere in all the packing material.
Zoe slouched against the counter. She kept peeking out into the front of the store as if expecting something, or someone, to come through the door. She swiped her hair off her forehead and blew out a breath. “I really think that someone else should handle the lawyer thing. I don’t know what Uncle Al was thinking, but if he won’t deal with me, then I’m not dealing with Dex.”
“Well, that sucks for you. You’re the only one who has time to do this right now, and we want to make sure we have all our ducks in a row before we move forward with making May a partner. I don’t want our butts hanging out in the wind with legalities.” She knew the grater was in here somewhere. Why did they always have to pack everything like the deliveryman was going to drop-kick it through her door?
“Right. You’re so busy, what with avoiding Nate now that you’ve finally figured out that he is super sexy. I heard Justin caught you all over each other. I hope you’re not planning to break in the living room floor, since I think that’s already been done.”
Claudia looked up quickly to find Zoe with a smug smile on her face. “I don’t even want to know what it is you’re alluding to. I’m trying to find my grater, and I can’t be distracted by your dirty birdy mind.”
Zoe nudged her shoulder, dipped her hand into the white peanuts, and came out with the grater. “Oh, come on. Like you’ve thought completely pure thoughts since you decided to run out and grab you a piece of Nate.” She handed the shiny new device over to Claudia, who hummed long and low at the back of her throat.
The hum could have been for the grater or for thoughts of Nate, but she wasn’t going to tell Zoe which one. She’d simply avoid that particular conversation all together. “So how about this new guy from Sunday night?”
Zoe was obviously willing to be distracted back to her own life. “He definitely has stallion potential. I could try this one on for size without a single problem.”
“Stallion or not, is he a nice guy?”
“Yeah, well, I guess so.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to caution Zoe against just having fling after fling. But who was she to tell anyone how to run her love life? Claudia had enough of her own problems trying to forget that Nate had seen her as a woman for about ten glorious minutes and now he wanted to “talk.” She hated talking when she knew it wasn’t going to go in her favor. And this conversation could quite possibly embarrass the hell out of her.
Clearing her throat, Claudia dove back into the box of peanuts, looking for the icing tip she’d also ordered. She found the packing receipt but nothing else. The receipt showed it had been shipped, but after sifting her hands through all the packing material, she found nothing. “Can you stick your magic hand in here again and find my decorating tip?”
Zoe did as Claudia asked and came up seconds later with the wrapped plastic in her hand. She handed that over, too, then smiled. “Here you go. I don’t know why you can’t find these things.”
“Yeah, me either.”
“Perhaps you’re a little blind.”
“Not yet.”
“Well, I can tell you a spot where you are blind.”
“I do not want to have this conversation, ever, and especially not right now.” The glint in Zoe’s eyes did not bode well for Claudia, though. She’d been on her to call Nate about the cake thing again, and Claudia wasn’t going to do it. He’d had his chance. She was not looking to be shot down again.
“You should wear something sexy when Nate comes to pick up Justin for that father-son dinner. I bet he’d change his mind in a second if you showed him what he’s missing.”
“Don’t you have something else to do? We’ve been over this before. He’s not interested. We’ll leave it at that. His grandma is having issues, his mom is calling him day and night, and starting something between us would only end up in disaster. I’d rather have my friendship back on an even keel than have my lust satisfied.”
“You were all about the cake just a few days ago.” Zoe twiddled with the trailing vine on top of the cake display counter. “I think you were on the right track then.”
“Well, you think wrong.” Even if she wore one of Zoe’s slut dresses when Nate came to pick up Justin for the dinner, she wouldn’t be wowing him. She’d only come off as desperate. Besides, it wasn’t as if she could lose thirty pounds in three days and fit into Zoe’s size.
Speaking of the devil, though, brought him in the door, wafting a subtle hint of the cologne she’d given him for Christmas last year. He smelled good enough to eat. Despite all her protests to the contrary, Claudia was more than prepared to dig out her spoon for a taste. She should be nervous and wary about him being here so soon after she’d hung up on him, and she was. But she also knew him well enough to be sure he wouldn’t drag her off for “the talk” in front of other people or at her place of business. She decided to play it as if they hadn’t talked and he hadn’t tried to push the issue of her recent behavior. Most likely he would follow along with the program.
“Hey, Claude, got a minute?” Nate circled around the back of her counter and took a Styrofoam peanut from the box.
“Sure.” Now that she had put her worry to the back of her mind and let her lust roar to the front, she imagined wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth. He wore black pants with a pale blue dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar. It wasn’t often she got to see him in something other than jeans and T-shirts or sweatshirts, and it only served to whet her appetite for Friday, when he would be in a suit coat and tie, too. Yummy. She caught herself before she leaped at him, rode him to the rubber mat behind her counter, and had her wicked way with him. “I...um...what can I do you for? I mean, do for you?” She knew she was blushing, but she’d put it down to just having come out of the kitchen, if she had to. It wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t have to know.
“I wanted to check the time with you for that dinner with Justin and find out if I need to buy him anything for it. I’ve never been to one of these with him since he’s always taken you. I don’t want to do anything wrong.”
It didn’t tear at her nearly as much this time that she wasn’t going. In fact, she’d convinced herself that the time alone would be nice, and it was just one more way for Justin and Nate to bond. Not that they needed to be any closer, since they were thick as thieves. Perhaps this is what he had wanted to talk about face to face and she had wigged out for no reason.
If she’d had any resistance to him at all, his question now would have melted everything inside her. As it was, she tried valiantly to keep herself from grabbing his ears and kissing the daylights out of him. She did, however, lean in and kiss him on the cheek. She wasn’t fool enough to pass up this perfect opportunity. She lingered for a second longer and pulled away from him slowly, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze for a full minute that felt like forever.
He put his hand on his cheek, a startled expression clouding his face. “What was that for?”
“You’re a great guy. I appreciate you doing this for Justin. He’s so excited, he’s ready to burst at the seams. So, thanks.”
“Um, sure, okay.” His look went from startled to confused. He seemed to shake it off in a moment. His normal grin came back onto his lips. “So is there anything I can do for Justin? If he were a girl, I’d get him a corsage or something. Do we need to have boutonnieres? Will the other kids’ dads have something special for them?”
“No, but thanks for asking. I would have supplied something if you needed it.”
“Hey, I’m a working man. I can afford to take my friend out to dinner.”
As he leaned back against her counter with his legs crossed at the ankles, she wanted to bite him in the worst possible way. The thought arose from the back of her mind, and she pressed her tongue to the back of her teeth to keep them closed. She had to get him moving along before she really did something outrageous. Or before that other shoe dropped and he mentioned the cake thing. “Well, thanks for stopping by. He’ll be waiting for you on Friday. Don’t forget to dress pretty much like what you have on plus a tie and a coat. He’ll be wearing the same thing.”
She turned away, dismissing him and trying to think about getting to work on an elaborate anniversary cake for a couple celebrating fifty years together. She needed something to calm her hormones.
Either he didn’t know she had work to do or he thought she could afford to stand around all day and handle the sight of his burly body. She felt his presence behind her, and he hadn’t shifted an inch.
“Was there something else you needed?” she asked, swiping at a couple of strands of hair that had fallen out of her ruthless ponytail. She had too much baking to do today to have nice swingy hair like Zoe. Damn him for coming in on a day she looked like death warmed over. She didn’t even think a fancy dress in two days was going to make an impression on him. She was about to give up on that anyway. After the way they’d gone after each other after lunch the other day, he hadn’t touched her again. It was as if nothing had happened. And it was damned disappointing.
But now he was no longer leaning casually. Instead he took her by the shoulders, gently turned her toward him, and nearly blew her socks off. Or would have, if she’d been wearing any.
“I want to be your cake,” he said in answer to her old, unanswered question. Then he leaned in and kissed her square on the mouth.
****
Nate walked out of the shop, probably looking as stunned as Claudia had when he’d backed off after a brief pressure of lips on lips. He had no idea what possessed him to tell her he wanted to be her cake. He had come to the decision over the past few days that she was too important to him, their relationship was too important to him, to make any changes. He’d never successfully had a long-term relationship other than his friendship with her, and he shouldn’t be messing with perfection.
But she’d looked so adorable with her hair curling around her face and her flushed skin, he’d done it before he really gave it a thought. It was supposed to be—should have been—a friendly kiss on the cheek, but he’d taken it into a whole different realm. Damn. And then he’d offered to be her damn cake. He was losing his mind, for sure.
Slamming into his truck, he cranked the engine and nearly squealed out from his parking spot. There was no reason to act like a jerk and get a speeding ticket, though. He slowed down and forced his mind to remain absolutely blank on how soft Claudia’s lips had been and the way cake batter smelled on her, like the richest perfume in the world…
Not working. Damn.
And now he had to go to a meeting with his dad with a boner he could probably hang shingles with. He’d have untucked his shirt if he thought he could get away with it, but he’d been told to come dressed for business to his dad’s office, and you crossed Darren West at your own peril.
He had about ten minutes until he hit the office, so he switched on the radio and tried to think about anything other than Claudia and that kiss. But, like some crazy cosmic joke, every station had some song about lips and kissing or touching. Even the hard rock station had a seventies song about licking. He flicked off the radio with more force than necessary and tore the knob right off.
His cell phone rang from the seat next to him. He wanted to ignore the constant buzzing but was afraid it might be his dad with some last-minute instructions. Glancing at the display screen before flipping the phone open, he sighed in relief when he saw it was his brother. “Hey, what’s up? Are you at Dad’s already?”
“No, man, I’m not. I should be there in about two minutes. I wanted to catch you before you came in, though, and let you know I saw your little act in the window of Decadence. I was thinking maybe you were doing some advertising for the shop. Or maybe you were helping her get icing off her face. Maybe she had something in her eye. Anyway, I just thought it was mighty interesting to drive by on my merry way and see that little display. Good job there, big brother.” His cackle ran through the line and grated on Nate’s nerves.
He didn’t even bother saying goodbye, just snapped the phone closed and threw it on the seat. He’d have to beat the crap out of Logan later. Right now he had to figure out how he was going to sit across from him for a whole meeting and ignore his knowing smile and leers without taking his bait. Both his brother and their dad had been trying to get Nate together with Claudia for years. Actually, they alternated between getting them together and telling him to run on out and get laid. Although maybe their prodding was better than his mom calling to harass him about when could Grandma start on some baby booties since she wasn’t going to be around forever.
He would have laid his head on the steering wheel if he wasn’t hurtling through town at forty miles per hour in a twenty-five-miles-an-hour zone. The cop who always sat around the corner of Blanchard Street saw him hurtling, too. Nate’s day was complete when he accepted a ticket and a warning to pay attention to what he was doing while driving even if his mind was preoccupied by kissing that pretty girl down at the wedding shop.
****
Justin slammed through the door of their upstairs apartment after school that afternoon, and Claudia braced herself for anything. She’d come upstairs to take a short breather after that kiss and the things it did to her insides. Nate had said he would see her later—and then kissed her again like he couldn’t get enough, now that he’d made up his mind.
As for the slamming door, maybe someone who had seen the kiss in the window earlier had said something about it to Justin. Her mom had already called to chide her for causing a ruckus in town. So had Nate’s mother, and his grandma, who was doing better if still ornery. May had called, too, to congratulate her. So much for being inconspicuous.
Fortunately or unfortunately, the kiss had nothing to do with the slamming door. Justin hit her with a curve ball.
“Hey! Did you know I’m a bastard?” Happiness radiated from his every pore. Bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, he practically vibrated with the emotion.
Caught off guard, by both the language and the completely inappropriate glee in his eyes, Claudia took a moment to calm her pounding heart before answering. “Who said that word to you? I don’t want you repeating it.” She said it sternly, while inside she was seething and crumbling at the same time.
But Justin just skipped past her to reach the refrigerator and jerk the door open. Then he turned around and faced her with happiness in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter who said it. What does it mean? I think I know, but I want to be sure.”
Claudia had always tried to tell Justin the truth, except where it concerned everything about Peter, but she was well aware this was going to be a tough conversation to have. “Sit down, honey.” She patted a cushion-covered chair that matched the dining table and waited for him to plop down. His reaction was very weird, and she didn’t know whether to look for him to explode or to really assume he was as happy as he appeared to be.
She wished Zoe wasn’t downstairs helping out with May right now. She could use some backup. She dragged her thoughts together and picked her words carefully. Praying she would find the right ones to explain such a hurtful word. “Justin, a bastard is one of those words that we don’t say in this house. If you don’t know what it means, then why are you so freaking happy?”
“Because if it’s true, then I can say it all I want.” His grin nearly split his face. “I have to be who I am, after all.”
She wanted to thunk her head on the table. He was way too smart for her liking. He was killing her. And she was trying really hard not to laugh. How on earth did she manage to raise someone who could play her like this? And didn’t it just suck to have her own words thrown back in her teeth?
He seemed to puff up his chest. Claudia felt a bubble of laughter try to escape her throat, while twisting mirth clenched in her stomach. She tried to explain as carefully as she could, without snorting or yelling at him, that it wasn’t really appropriate. “A bastard,” she said quietly, “technically, is a child who is born outside of a marriage. But the word doesn’t mean the same thing today as it did when it was originally used. The kids who said it are probably just being mean. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but today that word is generally used as a swear word. Not in the literal sense.”
“So, it’s true then. I am a bastard, even if it’s just technically.” He tapped the top of the table, bouncing in his chair and causing the legs to screech on the gray tile. More screeching as he knocked the chair back with his knees. Standing with his hands fisted in the air, he whooped around in the kitchen like a clown capering in a circus. He was the very picture of glee and merriment.
“No, Justin,” she pleaded, clenching a fist to her stomach, not sure she’d be able to hold it in much longer. She reached out her other hand to snag him on his next circuit around the table, a touch to let him know that she loved him, and he sidestepped her outstretched hand before it could make contact. She let it drop silently to settle in her lap, willing away the hurt that his avoidance caused in her heart. And the completely inappropriate feeling of laughter still sitting in her stomach. “What happened before you were born was none of your fault. Just don’t listen to the other kids. And I don’t want you saying it, even if it is what you are. It’s not funny.”
His mood changed instantly like a switch had been flipped. “You can’t tell me. You’re not a bastard. I am. And I say I should be proud of it.” Defiance shot from him like shards of glass aimed directly at Claudia’s heart.
They hit their mark. All the laughter in her belly turned to lead. She tried to temper her voice, but it still came out harsh. She shook her head. It wasn’t that big a deal, but she really didn’t want him running around calling himself a bastard any more than she had wanted him calling Peter a sperm donor. “Stop saying that word. I told you we don’t use it in this house, and I expect you to abide by my rules.” Heat rose in her cheeks and burned behind her eyes.
“You didn’t abide by any rules!” he shouted. “It’s all your fault. Why couldn’t I have been born normal, like every other kid?” And then Justin whirled on the heel of his white tennis shoe and dashed out of the kitchen.
Without any warning, she broke. “I tried,” she sobbed to the empty room. “I tried.” She laid her head on her crossed arms atop the table.
And she continued to weep silently, the tension coiled in her body, while she listened to Justin stomp his way down the hall, slamming the door to his room.
After several long moments, the silence in the house was overwhelming, so she went to the refrigerator and returned to sit at the round oak table again, this time contemplating a glass of wine instead of the falling darkness, as she had before. Wondering for the thousandth time what the heck had happened to her well-ordered life. And, more importantly, what was she going to do to fix it?
“Mom,” Justin yelled. “Phone’s for you!”
Well, at least he was talking to her. She picked up the cordless and wished she hadn’t.
“Hello, Claudia. I just wanted to make sure we were on for our weekly date tonight. You know how I don’t like to miss out on the prime rib on Wednesdays.”
What the hell was going on? Edward sounded like nothing had happened between them over a week ago. Didn’t he remember she had dumped him and stalked out of the restaurant? That hadn’t been a figment of her imagination. Had it?
“Edward, we aren’t dating anymore,” she said. She didn’t want to be hurtful, but she also wasn’t going to beat around the bush, either.
“Well, of course we are, Claudia. Just because you got into a bit of a snit before doesn’t mean I’m going to let you throw away our whole relationship. Now, should I pick you up at the regular time?”
She took the phone away from her ear and stared at it, then put it back. “Um, no?”
“So, you’d rather meet me there? I’m not sure I like that, Claudia. I’d rather pick you up.”
“Edward, we aren’t seeing each other anymore.” She figured she’d try one more time before hanging up on the lunatic.
“Oh, you were serious?”
Duh. “Um, yes, yes, I was, Edward. I think you need to move on with your life and find someone who would appreciate your special brand of caring.” More like smothering, but she wasn’t going to go back to that now that he sounded rational.
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that, dear. I thought we were good together.” He sounded sincere.
Claudia took about a second to let her heart bleed a little for him and then moved on. “Well, good luck with life.”
“You, too, Claudia.” And he hung up.
That went a lot better than she had thought it would when they started the conversation. She did not need anything new happening right now.
As if in defiance of what she wanted, Claudia’s cell rang with a punk song from the ’80s. Nate. Well, at least this wouldn’t be a bad conversation, hopefully.
Picking up her cell phone, Claudia settled into the couch and answered the call.
“Hey, Claude. How’s it going?”
Snuggling down in the cushions, Claudia rested her head back against the couch. “It’s going okay except for Justin now wanting to be called Bastard Justin.” She explained the afternoon to him and loved the way he laughed. “Oh, and Edward called to see if we were still going out on our weekly date.”
“That’s bizarre. I guess on top of the hair plugs, he also has hearing issues.”
Now she was the one to laugh. “So how’s it going? What have you been up to today?” Conversations with Nate had always been a highlight of her day, but now they’d have a little extra zing, like a touch of lemon in a plain vanilla cake.
“Well, you’re not going to like this, but I’m going to have to cut out of the dinner with Justin. My dad has a meeting out of town on the books, one he didn’t tell me about, and I’m going to have to go with him. Do you think Justin is going to be pissed? Can you take him? I won’t be back until late Friday night at the earliest.”
Justin wasn’t going to be happy, but she could take him. And it wasn’t as if Nate often went back on his promises. Not to mention he did own the company with his dad, and if they had meetings then they had meetings. “I’ll take him, but maybe you could take him somewhere when you get back, so it will lessen the blow a little.”
“Absolutely. We’ll go to a ball game or something. I promise. Hell, I’ll take him to Hershey Park for the day, if it will make him happy. We’re having trouble on this out-of-town build, and I have to be there to smooth over feathers. You know how my dad can be sometimes.”
Yes, she did, and was very thankful that Nate had not inherited that temper. “These things happen.” She wrapped a fringe from the afghan around her finger. “When did you say you were going to be back?”
“Friday night late. Do you have plans on Saturday? I just realized I never took you out to dinner for the big sale at Decadence, what with the madness going on with my grandma. We should rain-check it. Maybe have some cake as dessert.”
“Definite rain check for Saturday, then. I’ll look forward to it.” The sly tone in his voice when he said “cake” made her every nerve tingle. But she did not want to come off as a nympho or overly easy, so she kept the rest of the conversation light. They talked for a little while longer, and Claudia felt a sense of contentment with how they were connecting. No, it wasn’t great balls of lust and sparkly conversation. But it was good conversation and sharing, two things she had always valued in Nate as a friend and that she would hopefully soon value in him as a lover.
Cake tasting would begin Saturday.
****
Nate hung up with Claudia and rested back against his headboard. Maybe this would actually work, being Claudia’s cake. They had a lot in common and a lot of years under their belts. It wasn’t like a new relationship, he thought as he flipped channels on the TV hung on the opposite wall. It wasn’t all pounding hearts and blind lust, but he’d felt a definite zing down below as he talked with her, and that was a bonus. While he wouldn’t admit it to any of his buddies, he did have to acknowledge that the more he thought about his past, the more he realized he was committed to Claudia on a level he had never thought too much about.
They’d been friends for years, but on closer examination, he realized he had never let another woman in the way he did Claudia. Never took dating seriously. He’d always assumed it was because he wasn’t interested in the whole family and responsibility thing, but maybe it was more than that. Maybe Claudia was his “more.”
Saturday felt a world away, but the anticipation would all be worth it.