chapter Eight
Nate was indeed sitting on the edge of Claudia’s bed. He tried not to slide off the slippery satin bedspread, and tried not to think about everything his traitorous body had wanted to do with Claudia not twenty minutes ago. To say it was weird to think about getting Claudia naked in here—or anywhere, for that matter—was a gross understatement. Sure, once or twice, years ago, he’d thought about trying to take her out, date her. And his mom, for as much as she moved outside of herself every once in a while in the intervening years, would make comments about him just finally marrying Claudia and making the boy his own. But he’d never really considered anything of the sort himself since she’d gotten pregnant.
He’d been there for her when that rat bastard Peter had left her alone at three months pregnant. He’d been outside the delivery room, where he’d had to shut his ears to Claudia’s snarling and yelling while giving birth to Justin. And yeah, he loved the ten-year-old who brightened his day and his life. But Nate had always thought of himself as a fond uncle. He didn’t know whether he ever wanted to be a dad, much less be responsible for a wife with a child born from someone else.
Not that he wouldn’t. But it was a big step away from the single, total-bachelor life Nate had enjoyed for himself all these years and envisioned continuing indefinitely. He chased after some women, dated, satisfied his urges and theirs. But he never really gave himself to any of them. He didn’t know if he ever could. And until that episode out in the living room, the way Claudia had come apart in his arms, the episode he was still trying to calm his hormones after, he hadn’t thought that was a problem. Now his head was filled with turmoil and his heart didn’t know what he should do.
And if Claudia didn’t get rid of her mom soon and rescue him from this very feminine room where he couldn’t stop thinking about the bed under him, he might go stark raving mad.
It was uncanny the way things happened in his life. Just as he was about to start poking through things in this room where he’d never before entered, Claudia showed up in the doorway with her finger to her closed mouth.
“Come on out,” she whispered through lips no longer swollen.
He followed her out, slightly wistful for what he could have done to her on that bed. But he was still having a difficult time thinking of it being Claudia under him. Claudia! His best friend. Too weird.
He continued following her out to the deck she’d had built onto the back of the house, above the back door to the store. Big buckets of flowers lined the corners of the structure, filling the air with a sweet fragrance that matched whatever she was wearing tonight on her soft skin. Tiny twinkling lights wrapped around the railing, giving off soft light that spilled over the half-closed blooms. A little patio table with four chairs dominated the small space, with a fat candle squatting in the middle of the tabletop.
She grabbed a lighter from a box near the door and lit the wick, then took a seat at the table, gesturing for him to take the seat next to her. He chose the one across from her instead, thinking it would better if she wasn’t in touching distance while they discussed whatever she had on her mind.
She pouted. There was no other word for the expression on her face, but it was one he didn’t think he’d ever seen on her before.
“You don’t want to sit next to me? I won’t bite unless you ask. Nicely.”
His brain shorted out. Claudia, his best friend, was offering to bite him? He cleared his throat and tried to get his brain back online. Christ. This was not easy. It was going to take a little time to readjust his thinking. In the meantime he readjusted his pants and the way he was sitting to relieve a little of the tension swelling down there.
“I’m just going to sit over here.” He cleared his throat, again, thankful that at least his mouth was working the right way.
“Are you sure?” She batted her lashes at him and a flash of memory hit him in the gut. He’d offered her first aid for her eye just the other day for that. Had she been trying to flirt with him then? Oh, man, that must have crushed her. Should he apologize?
But before he could make a decision, she went on, oblivious to his turmoil.
“I just told Justin to clean up his room before dinner, so we have about ten minutes to talk.” She sat back in her cushioned chair and crossed her arms under her rather impressive chest. The nipple he’d licked and sucked seemed to call to him even from across the distance.
But, God, did that make him feel lower than dirt to even be thinking about her boobs. This was not going to work. It was just too weird for words. “What is going on?”
It was a pretty blunt question, but Claudia stepped up to the plate without a single hesitation. “I want icing.”
What? He breathed in through his nose and tried to let the flowers around him calm him. It didn’t work, nor did it make anything make any more sense. “So go down to the grocery store and buy yourself a can. It’s like two bucks or something. I’ll give you the money.”
She laughed, throwing her head back. The twinkling lights picked up the glow of her skin. His mouth watered, against his better judgment.
“Not that kind of icing. And actually, I just want some cake. I’ve decided to start eating cake again instead of stale cookies. And you are definitely the person I want to give it to me.”
This was not making one whit of sense to him. Had she gone off the deep end after seeing Peter and didn’t know it? And the way she’d worded the thing about him giving it to her made him think she was on the verge of something he might not approve of at all.
And then she proceeded to blow him away. And not in a good way.
“I want icing in my life. I want the sparks. I want to be able to wear high heels and feel like a woman. I don’t want to have to follow a schedule or wait to be talked to. I don’t want to be talked down to or told that my cake business is a hobby I have to give up when I get shackled to a short, toupee-wearing idiot.”
Her eyes were bright and her hair nearly wild. But now he finally understood what was behind all this. Kind of. But what did it have to do with him?
“So you want icing? Or cake? Or both? What?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his own chair. And what exactly did that have to do with kissing him, coming for him while she called his name? All things he was raring to do again, but shouldn’t be. Damn. This could be interesting.
She began drawing invisible pictures on the table with her fingertip. He could almost feel it on his skin.
“I just want some cake in my life. I think I rate some cake in my life. I don’t need the whole enchilada, with the icing and the sparks and the undying love, but I would like some sparks, some heat, some good sex.” She fisted her hand at her chest and he knew she meant business.
“And I fit into all this how?”
Her smile was the closest thing to predatory he’d ever seen outside the big cat display at the zoo. “Why, you’re going to be the cake, and from what we did less than half an hour ago, I’d say you’re going to like it.”
****
“I can call Nate, honey, but I’m pretty sure that’s the night he’s out of town for business,” Claudia said that evening as she arranged on a roll some of the lunchmeat May had sent home with her and slathered the mayonnaise on thick like Justin liked it. The boy was really into his condiments. The idea of a girls’ night had been a good one earlier in the day, but both May and Zoe had ended up having to call off. Zoe had forgotten she had a date, and May had said later would be a better time. Claudia tried not to feel blown off, but it was a close thing.
“We should have asked him while he was here earlier,” she said now. Not that she could have remembered in the afterglow of that orgasm.
“I want him to go.”
“And I’m sure he wants to go, but there’s no guarantee he can. He does have a life of his own, you know.” Claudia rubbed the base of her skull and moved to put everything back in the refrigerator. She’d lost her appetite about the time Justin had asked, right after Nate had driven off, if Nate could please take him to the annual father-son dinner. Every year she’d been his substitute dad, but apparently that wasn’t going to work this year.
She understood. She did. And tried not to make it about her or her simple lack of a penis when that had been okay for the last five years. But it did still hurt. Just a little.
“Well, can we call him? I want to ask him before he makes a date with some girl or something.”
Claudia’s heart clenched. Justin had walked out to the deck right after she made her announcement to Nate that he was going to be her cake. He hadn’t said anything after that to her, as Justin had started yammering. Then Nate left, saying nothing other than goodbye as he walked out the door without looking her in the eye.
Had she miscalculated? She probably should have asked him if he was dating someone before she started batting her eyelashes at him and kissing him, letting him take her straight to the moon and back. But they’d never really shared much about their love lives with one another. They could, and did, talk about nearly everything else, but that was one subject they each seemed to keep to themselves.
“I’ll go call him,” she said, when she realized she’d taken too long to answer and Justin was staring at her as if she had three heads. “You get your shower and then bring your homework out.”
Picking up the phone from the kitchen, she hesitated over the keypad. She felt almost weird calling the man she’d talked to every day for years. She needed to get over this and figure out if she should do a full frontal assault again or look for her cake elsewhere.
The phone rang four times, and she was about to click the End button when he picked up.
“Hello?”
Her breath became shorter, hearing his rumbly voice across the line. Her palms were sweating, and she wondered briefly if she was in the middle of a panic attack.
“Hello? Is anyone there, or were you just planning on heavy breathing in my ear?”
Her heart fluttered damn near out of her chest.
“Last chance, sick puppy. I can hear you breathing, so unless you have something to say, I’m hanging up.”
And then all she heard was a click as the line went dead. She’d never been more thankful Nate was one of the few holdouts on Caller ID. At least she didn’t run the risk of him knowing it had been her.
Now all she had to decide was whether to call him back right away and pretend nothing had happened, or to wait a little bit, make sure Justin was starting his bath, then call and act as if nothing happened. She opted for number one, since it would mean getting the whole thing out of the way. And she wasn’t much of a procrastinator.
Plus, she could hear the shower running down the hall, and Justin would yell if she walked in now and saw him naked. Boys—kids, for that matter. It wasn’t like he had anything she hadn’t seen before. Hell, she used to wipe his little butt for him for almost three full years.
And now she was procrastinating, again. She pressed the Talk button and then Redial. Putting the phone up to her ear, she waited for the ringing to start and mentally rehearsed what she would say to Nate.
But no ringing sounded in her ear. The only thing she heard was Nate’s deep voice saying, “Well, hello, Claudia, were you planning on talking to me this time or am I in for a little more heavy breathing?”
Claudia couldn’t help the nervous laughter that burbled out of her throat. So much for staying anonymous. The luxury had been taken right out of her hands. “Hey, Nate. Um, no, no more heavy breathing. Sorry about that the first time, I was trying to listen for Justin getting in the shower and got distracted before you answered the phone.”
“Sounds kind of like a load of crap.” The smile in his voice was evident.
Yeah, the excuse sounded lame to her, too, but she wasn’t going to explain herself further or even discuss that subject again. Ever, if she could help it. “Anyway, Justin has a father-son dinner coming up on Friday night that he wanted you to go to with him, and I was wondering if you were available.” She worked hard to restrain her imagination as to what she would like him to be available for.
“As long as I don’t have anything going on, it should be fine. Why isn’t he taking you, like he has every other year?”
“For some reason I’m not enough, and he asked for you.” It still broke her heart a little, but the way Nate stepped up to the plate immediately warmed those broken pieces. “It’s on Friday. Will you pick him up? I’d like to get pictures of the two of you.” She’d almost said her two handsome men, but stopped herself at the last second. That was close.
“Let me look at my calendar here a minute.” He made humming noises low in his throat that came shooting through the phone and right down into Claudia from her ear to her toes. He’d made the same noise with her nipple sucked into his mouth.
Who knew humming could be such a turn-on? And since when did everything Nate did make her gooey inside? They’d been friends for years and she’d never had a dirty thought about him. Well, maybe one or two, but she’d never been this focused on him and aware of his every breath.
Fortunately, he broke her out of her lustful haze by talking. “Actually that’ll be fine. It should be a blast. What time, and what do I have to wear?”
How about right here, right now, and absolutely nothing but a big old smile? She tried to regulate her uneven breathing when it threatened to chuff out of her with the force of a steam engine. “Great. Justin will be so pleased, and it’s suit-and-tie. Thanks for doing this.”
She said goodbye before she could get all sappy about him and the way he thought about Justin’s needs and participated in his life. Or before she asked again if he wanted to be her cake. Maybe she had completely disgusted him with her suggestion and he really wasn’t ready to buy into it. But that kiss he’d laid on her kept popping back into her head, too, and so did the way she’d screamed his name. There was no denying he’d had an erection that would no doubt satisfy her like nothing else. But couldn’t guys get it up for almost any female? Way too much to think about.
If nothing else, at least she’d get to see him in a suit. The last time had been at May’s wedding, three years ago, and she hadn’t fully taken the time to truly admire him. She wouldn’t miss out again.
After raiding the refrigerator looking for something to cool her off a little, Claudia sat at the kitchen table sipping a glass of iced tea. The shower down the hall had turned off some time ago, and now she could hear Justin knocking around in his room. The ceiling fan whirred in the relative stillness as she contemplated the darkening sky in the distance.
Her thoughts whirled and twirled in her head. What was she doing, looking for icing after all these years? She’d done fine for herself, even if she’d had little love outside of her family. Justin and she hadn’t suffered much for it. Life went on, even if you had no one in your bed.
“Bring your homework out to the table,” she called to Justin, more to distract herself than to make sure he actually did it. She wondered what torture she would have to endure in the name of schoolwork this evening as she threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave.
He was like a herd of elephants tramping down the hallway. Zoe was out this evening, doing heaven only knew what on her date. Claudia hadn’t had time to talk to her, either. She was feeling out of sorts without that contact, especially after her conversation with Nate. There was something about his easy acceptance of taking Justin to the dinner that spoke to her heart—and to her libido.
And she needed to get her mind out of the gutter if she wanted to concentrate on whatever torture it was Justin needed to work on tonight.
He trundled toward the living room, books in hand. Following more sedately with the steaming bag of popcorn, she tried, again, to remember what kind of homework Justin had this evening. And when it came to her, she shivered with dread.
Long division.
With books already spread out in a jumble on the low coffee table, Justin pulled his assignment from the bottom of a hopelessly messy backpack and smoothed it flat with his small hands. Hands so much like his father’s. What a shame. Just one more thing he didn’t get from her.
She shook her head to clear it and focused on what she remembered about remainders and carrying numbers.
But before they got started, Justin turned to her with shining eyes. “So what did Nate say? Will he take me? Does he want to be my dad for the night?”
He was practically bouncing, and she was so happy she didn’t have to disappoint him. “Turns out I was wrong about what days he’s out of town. He’s thrilled to take you. He said he can’t wait.” Yeah, in between laughing at her heavy breathing routine and the way she’d totally embarrassed herself with her lame excuse about being distracted by Justin’s shower.
“Oh, yeah! I can’t wait. This is going to be so much cooler than the last couple of years. Did he say he was going to dress up? Do you think we should be, like, coordinated or anything?” He clasped his hands in front of his chest and had the biggest grin on his face she’d seen in a long time.
Inside, she picked up the pieces of her cracked heart and tried to overlook the comment about the other years where she was his date. On the outside, she smiled, ruffled his hair, and told him, “We can decide all that later. We have a few days, but right now we have enough long division to make me feel like my eyes are going to bleed.” Another feeling erupted inside her to override the hurt—happiness for how he responded to Nate. If, and it was a big if, she ever managed to get Nate to see her as an actual woman instead of reminding him she was the one who’d been his friend forever, at least she knew she’d have her son’s complete approval of the man she wanted.
An hour later, as she listened to Justin preparing for bed, she leaned back on the sofa, glad she had survived this interminable day. The water running as he brushed his teeth, the thud of his feet as he went to his room, and the soft thump of music drifting down the hall soothed her. These were normal things. Things she was used to and that fit into her regular day. Nothing like the rest of the day had been, with one upheaval after another. Perhaps she should just forget today ever happened and start anew tomorrow. It wasn’t a bad idea, as far as she was concerned.