Web of Deception

chapter Ten



The wind whipped through Kate’s hair, stinging her face. She pushed it behind her ears, and turned into the breeze so the tresses blew straight behind her. Though windy, it wasn’t particularly cold.

The balcony on Daniel’s apartment afforded a clear view across the white peaks of the choppy water of the bay to the Sydney Heads and the storm that was brewing. The sky was dramatic, not a speck of blue visible through the dark clouds.

Kate felt like a spectator. She could watch the storm come in but she wouldn’t get caught in the middle of it. She’d make sure she was safe.

Behind her, the sliding door swished open.

“What are you doing out here?” Daniel asked.

She glanced over her shoulder. “Is dinner ready?”

“It is. Come inside.”

Kate turned and walked past him into the cool, crisp interior of his apartment where he’d placed two steaming bowls of pasta on the table. They both sat at the table.

They hadn’t even left the ski fields that morning when Daniel had asked her if she’d like to come back to his place for the evening. Of course she did. She couldn’t say no.

No matter what he’d done in the past.

One more night with him. One more day. Always more.

Last night was the first time he’d talked so frankly about Irwin Webb. She’d always been able to stop herself thinking about it, push it to the back of her mind, leave it for tomorrow.

Now tomorrow had come.

Irwin Webb – his company – had caused thousands of small investors to lose their life-savings. She might have been able to forgive that if her parents hadn’t been two of the little people who got caught up in it.

No one meant more to her than her parents. No one had stood by her through everything. No one else loved her unconditionally.

Even so, Kate couldn’t bring herself to walk away from Daniel. She wasn’t stupid. She knew it would be easier to do sooner rather than later but logic and common sense didn’t mean anything.

He was an addiction.

Love was an addiction.

“You don’t seen quite yourself tonight,” Daniel said, twirling his fork in his spaghetti carbonara.

“Just tired,” she said. “I had a wonderful weekend and tomorrow is so close. Then, it’s back to work.”

“I thought you liked your work.”

“I do.” She smiled. “But I like holidays better.”

Kate couldn’t tell him the true reason for her change in mood. The man in charge of Irwin Webb had always been dishonest and she’d always known that but she’d been fooling herself.

When had she fallen in love with Daniel? At what exact point had the realisation dawned on her? She couldn’t say.

From the first time she’d met him, he’d taken over her senses, and she’d enjoyed the rush, the exhilaration. He hadn’t let up after that and she hadn’t wanted him to. His attention was so constant, so consuming. There was nothing else. Only Daniel and her overwhelming need to be with him.

She’d known from the beginning that this would be nothing more than a fling and for Daniel, that was fine.

It was different for her. She’d thought she could treat it lightly and enjoy the relationship for what it was, a bit of fun.

Somewhere along the line, it had turned into more than that for her. Much more.

Perhaps some people were cut out for this sort of thing. Daniel certainly didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He was good at calling the shots and getting her to play along with it. She’d never had this sort of relationship with any man before, one based on instant gratification and sexual adventure. That was how it had started, anyway.

Damn it, if it was only the sex she could turn her back on it with ease. Physical pleasure was part of it, for sure, but there was much more to the relationship than that.

She’d made a lot of mistakes in her time but this one took the cake. Part of her wished she could just flick a switch and turn off her feelings, stop herself from getting too involved but it just didn’t work that way.

Not in life.

And not in love.

Daniel reached across the table and covered her hand with his. Damn it, he always knew exactly what to do, what to say, how to make her feel better. One touch, one smile, and he made the rest of the world and all her problems disappear.

The pasta went down much more easily after that and so did the conversation. However as they left the table and shifted towards the sofa, it wasn’t conversation Kate wanted. Not tonight.

Her body needed more of the drug that was Daniel Webb.

“Would you like a coffee?” he asked, taking a seat beside her.

Kate slid closer to him. “Just dessert will do me fine.”

“You seem to have perked up a bit.”

Suddenly, Daniel’s arm was around her, his lips on her neck. A sensual shiver shot up her spine as she felt herself melting under his touch. She needed this.

Her hand slid across his muscular thigh. “You know exactly how to turn me on.”

He pushed her hair back behind her ear and leaned in closer, his breath hot and moist on her neck. “I’m hardly doing a thing.”

She liked these little games and the way he made her feel. He was so strong, his body so muscular, covered in a layer of supple olive skin. He made her feel secure. Like she belonged.

It was strange, because only minutes ago, that was the last thing way she’d have felt. But, then, emotions weren’t always logical and, right now, sensible was the last thing Kate wanted to be.

Daniel trailed a line along her jaw with his fingertips, then tilted her chin upwards. She looked up at his dark eyes smouldering with passion. Another current of electricity shot through her.

This was such a delicious moment. Those few instants as he leaned in closer and she waited for his lips to brush against hers were filled with anticipation. And even though she knew exactly what was coming, it only increased her anxiety.

His lips parted as he tilted his head and covered her mouth with his. He tasted fresh, like the white wine they’d drunk with dinner. And he felt firm and sure of himself.

“You can feel it too,” he said. “This thing we have between us. It’s more than chemistry, more than sexual attraction.”

God, she wanted to think so, wanted to believe him. She knew what she felt, but did he feel the same?

“There’s been so much there from the start,” she said. “I denied but it was always there.”

“I’m not talking about that first night I met you. So much has changed since then. I’m talking about now.”

She’d felt anxious before but that was nothing compared to the way she felt now. She didn’t know what was coming though she knew what she hoped for.

The words almost slipped out. She wanted to tell him she loved him too, but she held back.

There was so much on the line. She’d had other boyfriends, gone out with Mark for a year, but had never felt anything that compared with this.

She stopped herself. No, she couldn’t rush it, couldn’t push him into an avowal of love. It wouldn’t be right.

Kate looked into his eyes. “What’s changed?”

“I think we both have. I know I have. I still want you. That part hasn’t changed. But usually when I get what I want, whether it’s from a woman or a business deal, I move on. To the next big deal. To the next woman. One desire has been fulfilled and then I want something else. But everything is different now.”

She felt herself trembling. “Everything?”

“I don’t want another woman. I want you to stay in my life.”

Daniel wanted her to stay in his life? Was he asking her to hang around for a year or two or was there something more?

“I don’t quite understand,” she said.

He slid his arm out from around her and enveloped her hands in both of his. “You’re different from any other woman I’ve known. I’m not going to let you go. We can make something of this. We can work things out together.”

Her heart raced. She didn’t dare believe he might feel the same as her.

“What does that mean?” she asked.

“We both have careers that are important to us. I make a heck of a lot of money, much more than you, but money is only one factor. You’re good at your job and you’re passionate about it. I can tell from the way you talk about it, from the way you put my father in his place that night. I’d never expect you to give up architecture. For me or anyone else.”

She frowned. “Why would I give up architecture?”

“A lot of women might if they were considering having kids because that’s what I’m really talking about. We both want children. I certainly do. I grew up in a big family and I want my kids to have the same thing. Brothers and sisters to talk to and fight with and grow up together.”

This was going too fast for Kate. She’d thought he was going to tell her about his feelings for her but he was talking about children. He was obviously several steps ahead of her.

“I think you’ve misunderstood something,” she said. “I don’t want to have five children like in your family.”

He smiled. “Two or three would do me fine. We don’t have to worry about that right now. I grew up in a big family but I never had my father around and that’s one mistake I’m not going to make. I’m going to be a better father than he was. I’m going to be there for the kids. Change the nappies and feed them and do all the mundane jobs. Take them to the park and help them with their homework. Talk to them. Get to know their friends. Teach them life’s values.”

It struck her that he was serious. This hadn’t come out of nowhere. He’d been thinking about this for a while. Regardless of whatever he’d said before about not being the marrying kind, he wanted a wife and a family and a life together, after all.

“I can’t believe you’re saying all this,” she said.

“Kate, we’re so right together. And you’re more open-minded than you think. I’ve seen it in you.”

Her stomach twisted into a knot. Something was amiss. She just didn’t know what.

“No, I’m not that open-minded,” she said. “I can be very one-eyed about some things. I want the same thing most women do. Commitment.”

“There are different types of commitment.”

No, this wasn’t what she wanted. This wasn’t what she’d thought was coming.

This was something else.

“That sounds like a cop-out,” she said. “Like you’re trying to weasel out of something.”

“No, I’m trying to be honest with you. You know what you want and you’re smart but you’ve only been looking at things one way. The traditional way. There are other ways of doing things.”

Kate slid her hands out from his, folding them carefully in her lap. “One thing’s for sure. I told you I want commitment and I’m not going to settle for second best.”

“Commitment comes in different forms. We can work out what suits our personal circumstances.”

He sounded more like a lawyer putting up an argument for the defence than a man in love. This couldn’t be happening.

“You mean what suits you best,” she said. “You’re used to getting your own way.”

“No, I’m thinking of you, too. I want you to be part of my future.”

“And how long is this future going to be? For the rest of our lives?”

“I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep. How many men would be that honest with you?”

Kate felt her face growing hot. “So if we’re going to divorce or break up or whatever somewhere down the track, you think we shouldn’t even try. Not even aim for something longer, deeper, more worthwhile. Is that it?”

“We can still make this work. For both of us. Not just for me. I can be good to you. I can certainly be a good father. You’ll never have to worry about money again–”

“I don’t worry about money,” she said dryly. “Right now, that’s the last thing on my mind.”

“I can provide for you, take care of you, support you. I’d be behind you whatever you wanted to do, whether it was keep working or take care of the children.”

She looked him in the eye. “Ever since I met you, you’ve been saying you’re not cut out for marriage.”

“I’m not.”

Daniel was matter-of-fact, like there was nothing even remotely unusual in what he was saying.

“So how do you plan on having all these children?” she asked.

“Not on my own, obviously. I thought we’d do it together. Forge a relationship that works for both of us and have a family. There are many different kinds of families and I know we can be a good one. Together. Me and you.”

“I don’t understand. What kinds of relationship? What kind of family?”

“I can be a good father.”

He hadn’t answered her question.

“Can you be a good husband?” she asked.

Daniel shook his head. “I’d never be a good husband. Not in the traditional sense. Not until death do us part. That’s the one thing I can’t promise you.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying we can still be a family. Me, you, and the children we have together.”

“You want to set me up as some kind of mistress? Isn’t that a bit old fashioned, even for you?”

“Not a mistress. I’d never keep you hidden away from the rest of the world like some sordid secret. I think of it as more of a partnership. We’ll have a family and live together for as long as it suits us, for as long as it works. It’ll be a relationship between two equals.”

“What kind of relationship?”

“A new kind. One that we construct ourselves to suit us.”

“What? So you can see other women?”

“I don’t want to see other women. Not now. Not in the foreseeable future. But I can’t give you a written guarantee now on exactly what I’ll want in ten or twenty years time. And I don’t think you can either. It’d be a lie. A lot of people tell each other those things and then they get divorced. I’m different. I don’t want to lie to you in the first place.”

“No, you just want to have me while I’m young. While I’m still good for some hot sex. While I’m still in my prime childbearing years. Then when you’re sick of me, you’ll move on to someone else.”

He slid his hand across her thigh. She flinched and he pulled back.

“I want to look after you,” he said. “I don’t want to lie to you.”

“Let’s get this clear. You don’t want to marry me.” His expression remained unchanged so she added, “You just want me to have your children.”

Daniel pleaded with his hands. “I want children and I want you. Is that so bad?”

“You want to use me.”

“You’re stuck on this marriage thing. That’s it, isn’t it? I don’t want to marry you so you’ve jumped to the conclusion that I’m using you. Kate, marriage isn’t the only way. Maybe it’s not the honest way.”

“Not for you because you don’t believe in it.”

“What works for other people won’t necessarily work for me. And it doesn’t work so well for most of them either but people convince themselves they did the right thing because they got married.”

Kate couldn’t believe it had come to this, couldn’t believe they were having this argument.

She hadn’t seen it coming. She thought about Daniel’s hints about how she was different, about how she wanted to do things her way. It all started to make sense. She just hadn’t seen where it was headed at the time.

She could have stayed with him for weeks, months, perhaps even years until the passion faded. His, that is, because she knew her feelings weren’t going to disappear. Damn it, she’d have stayed with him on his terms because that was the only way she could have him.

But she couldn’t stay with him after this…insult. She wasn’t a baby machine. She was a human being with goals and desires of her own. Not to mention feelings. Daniel didn’t seem to be taking that into account. He thought he could manipulate her into doing whatever he wanted.

And he nearly had.

She’d been willing to put her life on hold for her passion, for a man. She’d been ready to put aside her own aims in life to fritter away some time with him, knowing there would be no substance behind the relationship, knowing he wasn’t in it for the long term.

There was no way she could stay with him after this.

She loved him. It wasn’t enough, though. Not when he didn’t love her. He’d all but told her he didn’t. If he loved her, he couldn’t have talked to her that way and made her that offer.

It was ironic, but that was exactly what gave her the strength to fight her addiction.

To stand.

And to walk to the door.

Because that was exactly what she did.

She stood by the door and looked down at her suitcase, still sitting exactly where she’d left it earlier.

Daniel followed her and placed his hand on her shoulder. “Kate, I’ve done this all wrong. I assumed too much and started in the wrong place. I care for you and I want to share part of my life with you.”

He cared for her. She’d worked that much out for herself but caring wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

She turned and looked up at him. “But not all of your life.”

“I don’t plan on making promises I can’t keep. I won’t lie to you and pledge the rest of my life to you because I don’t know if I can live up to that.”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I won’t force you to marry me.”

“Let’s start over again. We can work this out. I don’t want to lose you over a misunderstanding.”

Kate shook her head. “There’s no misunderstanding.”

She should have known better than this. She’d been fooling herself, believing what she wanted to believe.

This man was so cutthroat in business that he was willing to ruin good people like her parents, not to mention countless others. That sort of person was always no-good. That side of his personality was always going to surface sooner or later.

Time to stop lying to herself.

“I’ve muffed this up completely,” Daniel said. “You want some romance in your life and that’s fair enough.”

She felt strangely calm. “I don’t want romance. I want the one thing you can’t give. Yourself.”

“I can’t promise that you and I will last forever. I can’t say that in ten or twenty years time I’ll still feel this strongly about you.”

But Kate could.

She pulled open the door and picked up her suitcase.

“Goodbye Daniel,” she said.