I sighed and snagged one of the cupcakes. I dragged my finger through the frosting, then licked it off as I considered what to say. That’s the problem with having a friend who understands you. Sometimes they understand you too well.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m sure. It’s a good job in a field I understand. I grew up in politics. I have the degree.” It will make my parents happy. Only I didn’t say that last part. Instead, I shrugged. “It makes sense. I mean, not everyone can know exactly what they want to be when they grow up. Some of us fall into careers by default.”
Kat took a long swallow from her Heineken. “Oh, I don’t have a career plan. Just a goal.”
“Rich,” we said together, and then laughed.
“So how’s that working out for you so far?” I asked.
“Apparently the road to riches isn’t paved with coffee filters. At least not unless you’re the dude who invented Starbucks. But I have some irons in the fire.”
“Really? Tell me.”
She waved it off. “Nothing to talk about. Just some stuff my dad’s putting together.”
I frowned, but didn’t say anything. From what she’d told me of her dad, he was hardly someone to emulate. Then again, the guy did have a house in Winnetka and a condo in Palm Beach, so maybe he knew his stuff.
“You need to totally do him,” Kat said.
“Excuse me?” I wrinkled my nose, then realized she was still talking about Evan. “I think he put the brakes on that plan.”
“Just once or you’ll regret it. Besides, your uncle only said he wasn’t the guy for you, right? Not that you couldn’t fuck him. After all, it’s not like you’re marrying him.”
I took a sip of my beer. “You have a very convoluted way of thinking,” I told her. “I like it.”
She laughed. “Years of dedicated practice. And I know you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She shrugged. “Just that you get off on the thrill. He’s put on the brakes? Big deal. That just makes him more of a challenge. And a lot more interesting challenge than snagging a couple of earrings.”
I leaned back in my seat. “I don’t do that anymore,” I said, purposefully staring at the white movie screen instead of Kat because I didn’t want her to see the truth in my eyes. Didn’t want her to see how close I’d come just a few hours ago. “I told you.” I hadn’t told her why. Hadn’t told her about the arrest. For one, I hadn’t wanted to get into it. For another, I’d been damned embarrassed at getting caught. But most important, Jahn had moved heaven and earth to get my record clear, because I was so freaked out about my transgression soiling my dad’s pristine reputation and ruining his shot at the vice presidency.
Which means I wasn’t about to tell anyone. Not even my best girlfriend.
More than that, the fact that I’d come so close today only underscored just how much of a wreck I was.
I thought of Evan. Of the peace I’d felt in his arms. Of the way I’d slept through the night with no nightmares nipping at my heels.
I so desperately wanted to be soothed like that again. I was centered right now, but I was balancing on a fence, and it would only take the slightest push to send me tumbling over.
I wanted the man. Needed him, even. And that only made the pain of his rejection that much keener.
Beside me, Kat was oblivious to my mental meanderings. Even so, she’d reached pretty much the same conclusion. “The point is that you’d get off on the thrill of having a guy like Evan Black in your bed.”
“I would,” I admitted, because I could hardly deny it. But that didn’t mean I was going to chase him.
I leaned toward her, sliding into gossip mode, both to distract her and because I wanted her reaction. “Kevin says the FBI is watching Evan. Tyler and Cole, too.”
Kat shifted in her seat, obviously intrigued. “Really? Do you think it’s true? I bet it is. They all have that bad boy look about them.” The corner of her mouth curved up. “Especially Cole.”
“You are so not subtle, you know.”
“What? He’s hot.”
“Can’t argue with that. Hell, they all are.”