“Kevin …” I heard the apology in my voice, along with the plea.
“Dammit—fine.” He released me and held up his hands, fingers spread, and in that moment I imagined him talking to a suspect, patronizing them. Telling them to just be calm and everything would be okay.
Unfair, maybe, but the direction of my thoughts only made me more determined to get out of there.
“Now,” I said. “I’m going now.”
“I’ll drive you.”
“No.” I drew in a breath, tried to calm the panic that seemed to want to spring out of me. Couldn’t he see that I needed to run—needed to go. “I just—I want to be alone. Please.”
He should have yelled at me and called me a liar and told me to get the hell out. Instead, his eyes softened and he nodded. “Fine. But I’m putting you in the cab. Tomorrow,” he said as he gently stroked my cheek. “Tomorrow, we talk.”
It took a solid seven minutes for the cab to arrive. I know because I looked at my watch seven times during the period. I shifted my weight from foot to foot. I glanced around the darkened neighborhood. The lights were out at Yolk, one of my favorite breakfast places, and just looking that direction made my stomach growl. I’d eaten nothing since that morning, I realized, and had to acknowledge that hunger might be contributing to my moodiness.
A black Lexus with tinted windows turned onto McClurg, slid to a stop in front of Fox & Obel, a high-end grocery store one block down, and idled there. Because I am always—always—aware of my surroundings when I’m outside, I noticed. But since there’s nothing inherently wrong about a car waiting at a curb, and because I had Kevin right beside me, I paid it little attention. Then I erased it from my thoughts entirely when the bright yellow cab turned off East Grand and came to a stop right in front of us.
Kevin opened the door for me, and I slid in, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He leaned in to kiss my cheek, then firmly shut the door. I expected that would be that, so I was surprised when he tugged open the front passenger door. I held my breath, not wanting to argue, but damn sure ready to do just that if he was planning to break his word and come with me. But all he was doing was giving the driver the address—and paying the fare in advance.
“I have cash,” I said.
“I’ve got it,” he said firmly, and because I’d turned down the tea, I acquiesced on the cab fare.
The moment the cab pulled away from the curb, I breathed easier. Kevin was sweet, of course, and I knew that he genuinely cared about me. But he didn’t give me what I needed. Then again, I wasn’t entirely sure what I needed, though the possibility of continuing what Evan had started on the roof was certainly on my list.
For a moment, I entertained the fantasy of knocking on Evan’s door, throwing myself in his arms, and kissing away his protests. But there is a huge gap between fantasy and reality.
Besides, I had no clue where he lived.
Fuck.
Antsy, I shifted on the seat. We were on Lake Shore Drive now, getting close to the condo, but that wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted someplace so loud I didn’t have to think. Someplace I could go and be someone other than Angelina Raine, the good girl. The senator’s daughter. The entrepreneur’s niece.
Stop it, already.
I drew in a breath and forced myself to just lean back, close my eyes, and enjoy the ride. I knew damn well that I needed to not be that girl. I needed to be Angie, not give in and be Lina, who would let her grief and her frustration and need just take over.
To my credit, I got as far as the condo. But when the cab pulled up in front, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back in there. Not while I felt so frayed and at loose ends.
“Drive,” I said, my voice raw. “Just keep driving.”
He glanced at me in his rearview mirror. “You sure about that, sugar? Because that man of yours was adamant, and I have the C-note to prove it.”