“No, you came here to help me cook, and I don’t report for duty for another eight hours.”
She touched my face, her expression preparing me for what she might say. “Travis, I think we—”
“Don’t say it, okay? I don’t want to think about it until I have to.” I stood up and pulled on my boxers, walking over to Abby’s bag. I tossed her clothes to the bed, and then yanked my T-shirt over my head. “I want to remember this as a good day.”
It seemed not long after we awoke, it was lunchtime. The day raced by, far too fucking fast. I dreaded every minute, cursing the clock as it approached the evening.
Admittedly, I was all over Abby. It didn’t even matter that she was putting on a show, I refused to even consider the truth while she was next to me.
When we sat down for dinner, Dad insisted that I carve the turkey, and Abby smiled with pride as I stood up to do the honors.
The Maddox clan annihilated Abby’s hard work, and showered her with compliments.
“Did I make enough?” She laughed.
Dad smiled, pulling his fork through his lips to get it clean for dessert. “You made plenty, Abby. We just wanted to tide ourselves over until next year . . . unless you’d like to do this all over again at Christmas. You’re a Maddox, now. I expect you at every holiday, and not to cook.”
With Dad’s words, the truth seeped in, and my smile faded.
“Thanks, Jim.”
“Don’t tell her that, Dad,” Trenton said. “She’s gotta cook. I haven’t had a meal like this since I was five!” He shoveled half a slice of pecan pie into his mouth, humming with satisfaction.
While my brothers cleared the table and washed the dishes, I sat with Abby on the couch, trying not to hold her too tight. Dad had already turned in, his belly full, making him too tired to attempt to stay awake.
I pulled Abby’s legs onto my lap, and slipped off her shoes, massaging the soles of her feet with my thumbs. She loved that, and I knew it. I might have been trying to subtly remind her about how good we were together, even though I knew deep down that it was time for her to move on.
Abby did love me, but she also cared about me too much to send me packing when she should. Even though I’d told her before that I couldn’t walk away from her, I finally realized that I loved her too much to fuck up her life by staying, or to lose her completely by forcing us both to hang on until we hated each other.
“This was the best Thanksgiving we’ve had since Mom died,” I said.
“I’m glad I was here to see it.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m different,” I said, conflicted about what I would say next. “I don’t know what happened to me in Vegas. That wasn’t me. I was thinking about everything we could buy with that money, and that was all I was thinking about. I didn’t see how much it hurt you for me to want to take you back there, but deep down, I think I knew. I deserved for you to leave me. I deserved all the sleep I lost and the pain I’ve felt. I needed all that to realize how much I need you, and what I’m willing to do to keep you in my life.
“You said you’re done with me, and I accept that. I’m a different person since I met you. I’ve changed . . . for the better. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to do right by you. We were friends first, and I can’t lose you, Pigeon. I will always love you, but if I can’t make you happy, it doesn’t make much sense for me to try to get you back. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but I’ll be happy as long as we’re friends.”
“You want to be friends?”
“I want you to be happy. Whatever that takes.”
She smiled, breaking the part of my heart that wanted to take back everything I’d just said. Part of me hoped she would tell me to shut the fuck up because we belonged together.
“Fifty bucks says you’ll be thanking me for this when you meet your future wife.”
“That’s an easy bet,” I said. I couldn’t imagine a life without her, and she was already thinking about our separate futures. “The only woman I’d ever wanna marry just broke my heart.”
Abby wiped her eyes and then stood up. “I think it’s time you took me home.”
“C’mon, Pigeon. I’m sorry, that wasn’t funny.”
“It’s not that, Trav. I’m just tired, and I’m ready to go home.”
I sucked in a breath and nodded, standing up. Abby hugged my brothers goodbye, and asked Trenton to say goodbye to Dad. I stood at the door with our bags, watching them all agree to come home for Christmas.
When I slowed to a stop at Morgan Hall, I felt the tiniest bit of closure, but it didn’t stop my heart from shattering.
I leaned over to kiss her cheek, and then held the door open, watching as she walked inside. “Thanks for today. You don’t know how happy you made my family.”
Abby stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned. “You’re going to tell them tomorrow, aren’t you?”