NINETEEN
Perched at the edge of her kitchen chair, heat from the mug tucked against her chest warming the skin beneath, Darcy tried for a calming breath. Chances were good she wouldn’t see Jeff today. The low rumble of an engine had pulled her from a restless sleep around three, and when she’d walked past his room on her way downstairs a half hour before, the bed was more or less made up, the room empty.
Just as well.
“Stay...”
With echoes of the night before still whispering through her head, some distance couldn’t hurt. In fact, the idea of Jeff in the city, figuring he’d wait a few more days, or maybe a week before coming back did more to ease the tension within her than all the chamomile-infused air she been gulping for the past ten minutes.
“...Maybe you should stay in my arms...”
Who knew, maybe he’d need to go back to Australia and it would be weeks before he had an opportunity to see her again. Even better.
“...Maybe I shouldn’t let you go—”
It would give her time to stop wondering about whatever had been hovering on his lips when they’d realized his mother had returned home and the thought was cut off. Whether he’d been about to say tonight, at all or for a few more minutes.
It would give her time to remember it didn’t matter what qualifier he’d been about to apply. The man couldn’t be held to anything he said after two days without sleep.
“...I warned you...”
A shiver ran through her at the memory of the heat those words had caused and all that had happened after.
Yes, it would be good if Jeff got very, very busy and she didn’t have to see him again for a long, long—
“Are you interested in dating any of the guys my mother’s getting lined up for you?”
Darcy jumped at the gruff voice she’d mentally relocated to downtown L.A., sloshing tea over the lip of her mug. “Jeff! You scared the life out of me. I—I thought you’d left last night. Your room was empty.... Wait, what?”
Jeff stood in the doorway to the kitchen wearing a contemplative scowl and a sleeveless white runner’s tank with navy shorts. His skin was sweaty and dark from exertion, his hair standing in a sexy mess of damp spikes.
“Because she’s not going to let it drop.” He stared at her, a dark look in his eyes. “Hell, you’ve met her. She’s tenacious. And these guys aren’t going to be the usual fare of tail-chasing chumps you’ve spent the past few years deflecting. If you decided you wanted one of them...”
Darcy pushed back from the table and went to get a dish towel to wipe up her spill.
How could he even ask after what happened last night? It hurt—but it shouldn’t. She shouldn’t give him so much power over her. Steeling herself, she kept it simple.
“No.” And then because she couldn’t stand the sight of the scowl he was wearing, she added lightly, “I shudder to think how your ego would take it.”
His mouth kicked up, and Jeff walked into the room, going straight to the coffee machine. “Hmm, I like how susceptible you are to his plight. With that in mind, what do you think about packing your things and coming back with me?”
“What?” She most definitely couldn’t have heard him right. Not with the way Jeff was standing there casually brewing himself a mug of coffee while he basically blew everything they’d agreed upon last night straight to hell.
“Turns out I’m the jealous sort. As it applies to you, anyway.”
Jealous. Where was this coming from? After her near-date with Grant?
“If my mom’s parading Southern California’s most eligible bachelors in front of you every now and then...” He shook his head, again running that wide palm over the scrub of his solid jaw. “Yeah, I’m losing it a little thinking about one of them catching your attention. Because you’ll catch theirs. Every one, Darcy. So, self-serving bastard that I am, I’m going to be driving out here seven days a week with the straight-up intention of sabotaging her efforts.”
“Jeff,” she tried again, needing to inject some reason where suddenly there seemed to be none. “I’m a high school dropout. They aren’t—”
“Going to care. Mom wouldn’t let some stuck-up prick with a hard-on for credentials within ten thousand feet of you. But the men who would appreciate how easy it is to carry on a conversation with you about virtually anything—the ones who would respect that you’ve been steadily working your way through my old textbooks since you got here and read two newspapers a day. The ones who earn that laugh of yours—” Breaking off, he looked away muttering a coarse expletive.
“So yeah, even after I run the lot of these great guys off, the ego you keep indulging is still going to have something to prove. Which means...I’m going to be pulling out every dirty, low-down trick I can think of to seduce you back into my bed. And, Darcy?”
The dark look in Jeff’s eyes did things to her she didn’t want to think about. Didn’t want to acknowledge.
Didn’t want to stop. “What?”
He stepped behind her and, gathering her hair in a loose twist over one shoulder, ran his lips and then the stubble rough edge of his jaw along the sensitive exposed length of her neck in a way that made her breath catch and a needy ache stir low in her belly.
“I’ve got a lot of tricks. And I already know several that work on you.”
“So what are you saying?” she asked, fighting the purr and moan trying to slip out with her words. “If I move in with you, you won’t be compelled to seduce me?”
His hands slid down the length of her arms, then slowly back up as the low rumble of his laugh vibrated against her back. “No. I’ll seduce you either way. But for a change, once I get you into my bed, I’d like to wake up to you still there the next morning.”
A weight settled in her chest.
“Jeff, we talked about this. We agreed last night.”
“You can’t hold me to anything I said last night. I hadn’t slept in days. This morning, though, I’m seeing things clearly. I know you’re worried about complicating a relationship we need to sustain for our child’s sake. But it doesn’t need to get complicated. What’s between us—”
“Is sex,” she stated evenly, though inside everything felt turbulent and chaotic.
“Yeah, really, really incredible sex. But there’s friendship and caring and respect, too. And the truth is what I’m suggesting makes sense. You’re pregnant with my child. I don’t want you to be alone. And while you most definitely could stay out here with my mother...there’s a very big part of me asking why you would, when we could be making the most of this time we’ve got before our little guy comes. We could take care of each other.”
It was those last words that caught her, the balance suggested in taking care of each other that gave her pause.
“And what happens if one of us realizes they want more than the other? If one of us suddenly wants less? What happens if it gets messy?”
“It won’t. We can keep it simple. You move in with me, I make you feel good in ways that get you to give up those breathless little cries on a frequent basis, my ego gets regular feedings and we take all the guesswork out of it by putting a natural stop date on the fun and games when Junior comes—if we’re open and honest about the limits of where this can go, no one gets hurt. We know what we’re getting into.”
He made it sound so easy, but it wouldn’t be. Not for her. And yet what he was offering held an unmistakable appeal. It was the ready excuse to take more of this man she wanted so badly. The handy justification she needed to give in to the want without hating herself for being weak, for all but inviting the hurt and vulnerability some open-ended go at a relationship would involve.
If she agreed to what Jeff was suggesting, even if her emotions did get away from her, she wouldn’t be waiting around for a happily ever after. She’d know there was a limit on the relationship and, having been a part of establishing those boundaries, wouldn’t feel as though she’d betrayed herself by giving in. She’d have made the conscious, informed decision to grab hold of this pleasure for the time it was available.
And when it was over, she’d be able to look at herself in the mirror without seeing some pathetic victim with her hand out waiting for whatever emotional scraps were available and her breath held for some fantasy that would never come true.
She turned to face him, searching his eyes. “So you’re talking about a sort of extended friends-with-benefits arrangement?”
Jeff winced as though he didn’t like the sound of it, but then seemed to reconsider. “I suppose that would be accurate.”
She wouldn’t be his girlfriend. It wouldn’t be a relationship.
It would be an affair with a bittersweet but predetermined end date. Something she could live with.
“What would we tell your mother?” she asked. “What would you tell everyone?”
Because people would talk. How could they not? She remembered some of the stories about Connor and Megan and knew the talk they’d had to contend with was nothing compared to the gossip and speculation that would surround her. Not that there wasn’t plenty already, but if she moved in with Jeff...and then moved out.
“Nothing. It’s no one’s business but ours.” His arms snaked around her back in an unmistakably possessive hold. “You’re not going to regret this.”
This close she couldn’t think, at least not about anything beyond how good it felt to have him touch her. How much closer she wanted to get. Pressing her palms into his chest she pushed, trying to keep the action from turning into a shameless feel.
“Jeff, wait, I haven’t decided yet.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Yes, you have.”
And when he ducked his head to catch her mouth with his, there was no denying he was right.
* * *
For long moments he kissed her, slowly, deeply, thoroughly—the languid sweep of his tongue between her lips serving both to seal the deal as well as remind her they could take as much time as they liked.
And then from the hall beyond came the rattle of keys and Darcy jerked back, only to have Jeff catch her before she could put more than a few inches between them.
“Not done with you yet,” he murmured at her ear as Gail’s sing-songy chatter—a little more clipped than usual, spilled around the corner.
“Running late...Pilates...lots of errands...back later.”
Jeff’s brow arched and they both looked toward the doorway leading to the back door in time to see Gail buzz past with a hasty wave and barely a backward glance.
Darcy glanced up at Jeff. “She knows.”
Jeff wagged his head. “Probably. On the upside, she won’t be surprised when we tell her you’re moving out.”