“You need to chill the fuck out,” Jase said.
Cam sidestepped his friend, eyes narrowed on the other guy. “Let me the fuck go, Jase.”
“Fuck no.” Jase got in-between them, putting his hands on Cam’s chest. “You don’t need this, remember? Getting into a fight is the last thing you fucking need right now. So back down.”
Something in what Jase had said seemed to reach Cam. He cast the guy against the wall one last promising look and then shrugged off Jase’s hands. Cam turned, thrusting his hand through his hair. Through the people standing between us, his gaze landed on me and Brit. He started forward, but Jase said something that made him stop. Out of nowhere, Ollie appeared, shoving a bottle of beer in Cam’s hands. Between the two of them, they ushered him back into the house. I started after them, but Brit hauled me into a corner, her wings bouncing as she turned to me. “What the hell happened?”
“I don’t know.” My chest rose and fell sharply. “The guy wouldn’t let me go and Cam just came out of nowhere. I need to—”
“No.” She stopped me, blocking my path. “You need to let him cool down. He’s with his boys, let him be.”
Smoothing my hands over my hips, I was slow to process what Brit was saying. There was a good chance I was going to hurl. I looked around, willing my heart to slow down. Some people were staring at us. Others had lost interest the moment it was obvious there wouldn’t be a fight. Steph was at the ping pong table, lips thinning as our gazes collided. Music picked back up, thumping in tune with my heart. Sweat dotted my brow.
“Hey, Avery, you okay?” Brit asked.
I forced a nod, but I wasn’t okay. The garage was shifting again—all the costumes and the sounds amplified. Pressure clamped down on my chest. The smell of beer, perfume, and sweat clouded the air. I took a breath, but it didn’t seem like enough.
“I need fresh air,” I told Brit, pulling free.
“I’ll go with you.”
“No. No, I’m fine. Stay here.” I didn’t want to ruin her night. “I’m okay. Really. I just need some fresh air.”
Brit relented with a little more coaxing, and I hurried out of the garage, feeling like a hundred eyes were on my back even though I knew probably no one was looking.
Cool air lifted the damp hair off my neck, but I didn’t really feel it. I didn’t stop. I kept walking, my hands opening and closing at my sides. I was by my car before I realized it. Digging my keys out of my pocket, I got in behind the wheel.
Hands shaking, I pressed them against my face. Oh God, I could still feel his hands—not the drunk guy’s but Blaine’s. I could hear him whispering in my ear, feel him behind me and the pressure…. Throwing my head back against the headrest, I squeezed my eyes shut. “No. I’m not doing this.”
The words seemed to echo in the car and were thrown back in my face, because I was doing this. I was doing exactly what I shouldn’t do.
I couldn’t go back in there, not for my friends or for my hoodie.
Shoving the keys into the ignition, I eased my car out from between two cars. I don’t even know how I got home. I didn’t remember anything from the ride, just that I was standing in the middle of my apartment, trying to catch my breath.
I made it to the hallway before I slid down the wall, bringing my knees against my chest. I curled up, thrusting my hands into my hair. I squeezed my eyes shut, but the tears snuck free, spilling down my cheeks.
There was no doubt in my mind that I had screwed up—I’d overreacted. The guy at the party had been obnoxiously grabby, but I had overreacted. I’d let the past distort what had been really happening. I’d panicked and Cam almost got into a fight over it.
I pressed my forehead against my knees, pulling my hair back. I couldn’t do it. I’d tried and I had turned a good time into an epic fail. What was wrong with me?
There were several valid answers to that—a lot was wrong. Not breaking news there but this… I had wanted so badly for tonight to be good, for tonight to be that extra push in the right direction, whatever direction that was. A sob rose and I clamped my jaw shut until my molars ached. Instead, I was here, back to where I started.
#
The throbbing in my head had increased until it felt like the entire apartment was pounding right along with it. Wincing, I opened my eyes and realized I was where I’d sat down, in the hall and my entire body ached. I’d fallen asleep, maybe for an hour or two.
And the thumping wasn’t just in my head—it was on my door.
I pushed off the floor, hurrying to the door in a haze. I was so out of it I didn’t even check to see who it was.
Cam barreled through the door and I was against his chest before I processed what was happening. Strong arms swept around me and his hand came up, cradling the back of my head. I inhaled deeply, drawing in the faint scent of cologne and alcohol.