“Nope.”
“She must suspect something after working so closely with you for so long.”
“Not to be flippant about our recent troubles, but you married me, slept with me, made love with me, spent weeks with me and only me, and you didn’t know.”
“True, but then again, I didn’t even know such a thing existed until I found Hayden’s room.”
“I’m not sure that Addie knows it exists either.”
“Is this why Hayden doesn’t pursue his feelings for her?”
“Yes.”
“So many things make sense in this new context.”
“And yet I still feel I have to say again—Hayden’s business is his and his alone. Until you, I have never told another living soul about his involvement in the lifestyle, just as I’m confident he’s never told anyone about mine.”
“I’m honored to be trusted with all of this, Flynn. I swear to you again that I will never speak of it to anyone. You have my word on that.”
“Even if our marriage disintegrates into a Hollywood disaster?” he asks with a wry grin that doesn’t quite touch his eyes. I know he has no desire to discuss the possible demise of our marriage, but he’s wise to be concerned nonetheless.
“Even then.”
He takes my hand and brings it to his lips. “Thank you for that, for everything today, for giving me the chance to explain, to bring you all the way into my life. I’m so full of gratitude where you’re concerned.”
“It’s odd because I felt so close to you before this, but now… It’s even more so than it was before. Thank you for letting me the rest of the way into your world, even though you didn’t want to.”
“It’s not that I didn’t want to. It was my misguided attempt to protect you, which backfired badly and undermined everything we’ve built together.”
I squeeze his hand, which is still wrapped around mine. “This isn’t something I would’ve thought I wanted, but listening to you describe it to me…” I fan my face, making him laugh. “I don’t know if I can do all of it, but I’m definitely curious and interested.”
“That’s an important first step. Now finish your dinner and read the contract.”
“Yes, Sir.”
My reply makes his eyes get very dark, and the connection between us in that moment is absolutely incendiary.
“Read,” he says in a low growl.
I smile at him before I return my attention to the documents.
The contract begins by outlining the timeframe for our agreement, which has been left blank. It goes on to cover a number of safety-related items, such as the hard and soft limits he’s already mentioned and the use of what’s referred to as a traffic-light system in which green means go, yellow means the sub is approaching his or her limits, and red means everything needs to stop right now. It covers the importance of open, honest communication between the Dom and the sub, and the proper form of address between a sub and the Dom.
Next is the availability of the sub, which is pretty much all the time, except for when the sub is at work or sleeping or otherwise engaged in his or her own activities. Then I read a line that says the terms of the agreement are enforceable by the Dom whether the couple is at home or in public.
I glance up at Flynn, who is watching me intently. “What?” he asks.
“At home or in public?”
He laughs, which softens his entire demeanor. “That’s where you get lucky. Because of who I am to the rest of the world, I won’t make you blow me in the men’s room at LaGuardia.”
“Thank goodness for small favors.”
“I believe you once said there’s nothing small about it.”
His comment cracks me up. I love that we’re laughing our way through what could’ve been a tense, uncomfortable conversation. It’s anything but that. With every clause and sentence I read in the agreement, I feel closer to him, to understanding the real him and what makes him tick. I want to know that. I want to know everything about him. “So define public for me, then. What does that mean for us?”
“Possibly, down the road, when you’re ready and I feel confident that you can handle it, we’d do a scene at the club.”
“In front of people we know.”
“Yes.” He eyes me with his head tipped in inquiry. “What do you think of that?”
“I-I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it? Just okay?”
“We’ll put public scenes on your soft limits list for now, and we can revisit it later. I have no intention of plunging you into this thing all at once, Nat. We’re going to ease you in and take it one step at a time. At first it will just be us, experimenting, playing, trying new things in private. A public scene at the club would only happen much later, if or when we both decide it’s time.”
“What if I never get there?”
“Then you never get there, and I’ll still love you with all my heart and be thankful every day that you’re my wife as well as my sexual submissive.”
“Could I… could we… maybe sometime… go to the club? Together?”
“That could be arranged.”