“I’m proud of you for having the balls to leave,” he told me, his eyes watery. “I know there’s a rift between us, but I do love you.”
I studied his sad face. “Did you ever say anything to Mother about what I told you?”
He nodded. “She denies it all.”
“And you still believe me?”
He paled. “God, of course, Nora.”
I nodded. “Did you confront Finn?”
His lips tightened. “I told the motherfucker if he came near you again, I’d stab him myself.” He shrugged. “He’s dead now. We need to move on.”
I bit my lip, scared to hope. Maybe there was a chance for me and him after all.
***
His funeral shocked me, I guess because death always takes us by surprise, especially when it’s a young person. We think we’re invincible, but we’re not. One way or another, we’re all placed six feet under. It made me even more determined to live the rest of my life as a happy person.
Was I glad that Finn was gone? Yes. We’re taught that forgiveness is good for your soul, so some will say I’m going to hell for my unwillingness, but neither Finn nor Mother would ever get absolution from me.
I’m no Mother Teresa.
Drew, Sebastian, Mila, and Leo all came to the funeral, but Leo was the person I gazed at. As I drank him in, I thought about how easily life can be snuffed out, never to be lived again. I thought about how Leo had lost his parents in the blink of an eye. And it sounded so cliché, but life is precious, and we only get one shot at it. So when the minister started talking about living life to its fullest, I realized I hadn’t. I’d been living day to day, always stuck looking at the past, just trying to survive.
I didn’t want to coast by anymore.
I wanted some fucking happiness.
As I sat in that cathedral, it dawned on me, an extraordinary moment when I realized that being happy could be a choice, not some elusive state of euphoria that few ever achieve. I didn’t want to spend a lifetime waiting for happiness to find me. It was never going to come knocking on my door, inviting me to come out and play.
It was up to me to decide if I wanted to live a bleak existence, constantly thinking about what had happened to me, or I could make a conscious decision to be happy now, to be grateful for what I had. To live. To love.
I was responsible for my own happiness.
If there was something out there that made me happy, it was up to me to go get it.
I knew exactly what I wanted.
Chapter 31
––––––––
Nora
––––––––
“I’m breaking out of this cage. It begins today.” –Nora Blakely
––––––––
Three days later, Halloween and the big grand opening party at Club Vita finally arrived.
It was cool at night now, so Leo rented several standing gas heaters for the patio. The party rental place had set up a huge white tent next to the back parking lot and adjacent to the pool. Inside the tent, Tiffani set up the main bar, the buffet tables, and seating. She’d also set up two bar areas that were close to the pool. With over three hundred people coming, it was going to be huge.
Earlier that morning, the band had sat down and talked about the performance. We hadn’t even chosen a name yet so that became imperative. After a lot of laughs, we went with Teddy’s suggestion, the Vital Rejects. Leo suggested he only play the second set since he would be busy making sure the party got off to a great start. Sebastian could play guitar although he wasn’t as skilled as Leo, so we decided to focus on predominately piano centered songs.
Leo seemed nervous, and I wanted to assure him it would be awesome, but Tiffani was flitting in and out of the party area. As he conferred with Tiffani about last minutes details, we set up our instruments and spotlights.
After a quick run through with the band, I was back in my attic room with Mila getting dressed. She grunted and squirmed as she lay on the bed, tugging on her tight leather pants. I chuckled, watching her red face. I still couldn’t believe she’d chosen such a racy costume. “Everything okay?”
She snorted and yanked harder, finally getting them zipped. “Gah, dressing as Lady Gaga sucks!”
I tsked at her pants. “And there’re gonna make your butt sweat.”
She heaved herself up, her black-clad legs looking stiff and uncomfortable. “That’s a good point, but they’re on, so I’m never taking them off. There.”
I picked my Wonder Woman costume up, not missing the irony of dressing as an Amazon. As I dressed, Mila looked at my tat with big eyes. “Go ahead,” I teased her, “I know you wanna touch it.”
“You got your own set of wings!” she squealed, happier than I thought she would be. She ran her fingers across them.
“And I didn’t die of ink poisoning.”
She arched her brow. “Could have.”
I pulled on the red thigh-high boots and picked up my Lasso of Truth. Mila helped me tease my hot-rolled hair into a 60s style bouffant, and I adjusted her platinum wig and black corset. I put my gold cuffs and crown on. She slid on her bedazzled sunglasses.
“We look like hookers,” I mused at our reflection. “And not the expensive kind.”