“I know. I’m trying,” I whispered.
“And I’m not giving up on us. I want you as mine,” he said, walking over to me. He tipped my face up to look at him.
The air thickened with tension, and I sensed somehow things had suddenly changed between us. “Why?” I whispered.
He pulled me against him. “Because I see who you are now. And I’d walk over hot coals to make you love me,” he said, lowering his head. He kissed me hard and deep and for the first time since we’d gotten reacquainted, I felt real heat bloom inside me.
He murmured my name and tugged me closer, his hands pressing on the small of my back until I could feel his erection. I rubbed myself against him, making him groan.
“Are you ready to take us further, Nora?” he whispered, kissing my neck.
“Yes.”
“I’m dying to make love to you again,” he said into my shoulder, his lips going lower and lower.
“Yes, soon,” I promised as I pulled his face up to me and gazed into his hazel eyes, liking what I saw. In the past few weeks, we’d grown close and although I hadn’t told him about Finn, I had considered it. The thought of one more person knowing terrified me, but I had to learn to be true to myself. If he cared about me, then my past wouldn’t matter.
He grinned his crooked smile and picked me up and swung me around until I squealed. When he sat me down, we were both breathless.
“Kiss me again,” I said.
Like a kite string that’s been broken by a strong, sudden wind, I felt the tenuous hold I’d been keeping for Leo in my heart finally snap. He was gone, drifting away somewhere out there, destined to belong to someone else.
***
A few nights later, I met Drew and Sebastian and Mila at one of my favorite locally owned bookstores. It was within walking distance from the shop, and with its regular signings and readings, it was a hangout for college-age kids and hipsters. It had three levels, which included a basement area that held out-of-date college textbooks and discounted books. After we’d gotten a table and purchased some lattes from the café, we settled in at table to read and people watch.
After a while, I headed downstairs to the less populated basement to search out some interesting books. I’d just unearthed one about the Victorian poets, when I heard steps behind me in the stacks. I turned, expecting to see Drew, but it was Leo.
With a couple of books in his hand, he stood there frozen, looking at me with a stunned expression on his face. He obviously hadn’t expected to see me.
I glanced at him nervously. “Hey. Find anything good?”
He stared at me blankly.
“Leo?”
“Uh, yeah,” he said holding up two books, “found a bargain on Bob Dylan’s Lyrics and another one on football in the 1970s. What about you?”
“Still looking.” I peered around him, expecting to see the meerkat scurrying around the corner any moment. “Where’s Tiffani?”
He stiffened and shrugged. “Where’s Drew?”
“Upstairs with Sebastian and Mila.”
He nodded. I nodded. We looked around the basement but not at each other.
Crickets may have chirped.
“So . . .” I murmured.
“Uh . . .” he said at the same time.
We both tried to laugh.
I sighed. “Things are weird between us aren’t they?”
“I don’t want them to be.” He stared at his books. “Sorry about Saturday. I never drink like that.”
“I know.”
He nodded.
“Are you happy with Tiffani?”
He dropped his eyes and when he didn’t speak, I smiled regretfully.
“Are you happy with Drew?” he asked, moving close enough to me that I could feel his heat. My breath whooshed out when he touched my hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “Does he kiss you like I did?”
Anger rose in me. “Yes. In fact, I think he’d like to thank you for telling me to leave you alone.”
He closed his eyes, and I think he looked like he was hurting. Then he stared at me like I was his manna from heaven, and I wanted him so bad right then, that if he said he wanted me, I would throw caution to the wind—but instead I heard, “Okay. I guess that’s good then.”
“Yes, it is,” I said after a bit, struggling to get the words out.
“Nora, I’ve been wanting to say something to you about what you told me, and there hasn’t been a time when we’ve been alone. I know I was too late to protect you from Finn, but if Drew, or anyone for that matter, ever hurts you . . .” he paused. “Tell me, and they’ll never walk again.”
“Drew won’t hurt me.”
He took a deep breath. “Just let me be there for you, okay? Please. If you ever need me.”
I nodded.
“I got one last request, and I’ll never ask again.”
“What?” I croaked out.
He set his books on a shelf and then took mine and set them beside his. He tugged me to him until our chests were touching.
“What are you doing?” I mumbled in confusion.
He put his hands on either side of my face and slid them into my hair, letting out a breath as if in relief. “Just saying goodbye, Nora.”