“What did you do? Where did you go?”
“I got really lucky. One of the detectives took me into his family while we awaited trial. They were incredibly good to me. In many ways, they saved my life by getting me into therapy and helping me finish high school with tutors. The worst part was losing my sisters. I’ve always wondered what they were told and what they know. I wonder if they miss me or think about me, or if my dad poisoned them against me. Candace is in college now, I suppose, but I’ve never been able to work up the courage to reach out to her. If she hates me, I’d rather not know that.”
The sadness is still so pervasive after all this time. “It was a really tough couple of years, but I got through it with the help of the family that took me in and the financial support that flooded in from anonymous donors who hated Stone and wanted to help me bring him down. That money paid for my new identity and my first two years of college. The other half… Well, I’m not sure what I’ll do about that now that my contract has been voided.”
“I’ll take care of that. Don’t worry about it.”
“I will worry about it, and I’ll take care of it, not you.”
“Are you kidding me right now? Why are you in this mess to begin with?”
“I’m in this ‘mess,’ as you call it, because Oren Stone raped me when I was fifteen. I’ve been dealing with it on my own ever since, and I’ll continue to deal with it.”
“You’re not alone anymore, baby,” he says softly, so softly I almost don’t hear him. “Everything is different now, and the last thing in the world I want you worried about is student loans that I could pay off for you tomorrow without even feeling it.”
I’m shaking my head before he finishes speaking. “I don’t want you to do that. I’ll figure it out the way I always have. I’ll get another job.”
He starts to say something, but then shakes his head, pulling away from me.
“What?”
“I’m going to take a shower.”
“Okay.”
He gets up and walks into the house without looking back. Watching him go, I’m fearful that despite his assurances to the contrary, hearing my story is going to change everything for us.
Chapter 6
I want to punch something. I want to kick the shit out of Natalie’s father and shake sense into her pathetic excuse for a mother. I want to dig up Oren Stone and kill him all over again for what he did to her.
The shower in Hayden’s downstairs bathroom is big enough for six people. Standing under the pulsating water, I try to contain my rage, but there’s no containing the despair I feel after having heard what happened to my precious Natalie. I slam my fist against the tile wall. When that doesn’t make me feel better, I do it again.
And then she’s there, pulling me back and wrapping her arms around me. I realize I’m sobbing. I can’t remember the last time I cried before I met Natalie, but my heart is literally breaking for the girl Natalie once was and for the woman she is today, thanks to her own grit and determination.
“It’s okay, Flynn.” She runs her hand over my back in a soothing caress.
Why is she comforting me? I should be comforting her, but I’m reeling. I can’t seem to get control of myself or my emotions, which is all new for me. I am always in control. Always.
“I’m okay. It was years ago, and I’ve put it behind me where it belongs.”
I want to follow her lead, to put it behind me and move forward with her, but I don’t know if I can. How will I not think of what happened to her, what was done to her, every time I touch her? What if I can’t control myself? What if the overpowering desire I feel for her makes me forget, even for a moment, what she’s endured in the past? I won’t be able to live with myself if I harm her in any way.
Every sexual encounter we’ve already had runs through my mind with new context. Have I already pushed her too hard or too far? Have I frightened her with my desire? My entire body is trembling from the fear and the rage that pound through me like a jackhammer.
“God, you’re bleeding.” She raises my injured right hand to the water.
The sting of the hot water on my split knuckles snaps me out of the stupor. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. You’re hurt.”
I pull my hand free of her hold and shut off the water. “I need… I’m going to go for a run.”
“Don’t run away from me, Flynn. Please don’t.”
“I don’t trust myself to be what you need right now.”
“You are what I need. I had no idea how badly I needed you until you forced your way into my life and made me fall in love with you.”
“Nat…” She slays me with her sweetness and her light. How can there be all that light when she’s endured so much darkness? I admire her as much as I love her.
Her arms come around me, and she guides my head to her shoulder. “You’re exactly what I need. Please don’t run away. Stay with me. Be with me. Hold me.”
I’m shaking like a tree in a hurricane. “I’m afraid to touch you.”