“There are no circumstances to consider. I did a wrong thing, and I am willing to accept responsibility for my actions.” He ran his hand through his short hair. “I will never forgive myself for hurting you in that way.”
“It was wrong, but it can never be undone.” She cupped his face in her hand. “And I have forgiven you.” He kissed her palm, once lightly, the second time more slowly. She laid her head against his chest and listened to his heart beating under her ear.
He’s alive. He’s safe. We are together.
She would never forget what it felt like to go to bed at night, not knowing if he was alive. She would never again take his presence in her life for granted.
They sat in dark together, his heartbeat steady in her ear. Warm and comfortable, she drifted off. Sophie stirred as he gathered her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs, still wrapped in the blanket. Gently, Michael laid her down in the bed and slid into the sheets, turning toward her. She snuggled into his arms, their bodies intertwined. She sighed with pleasure, and tipped over the edge into peaceful darkness.
When Sophie awoke, she was shocked to discover that it was just after noon. Michael still slept, his face relaxed. She got up and left the room, returning with the newspaper, her iPhone, and a cup of coffee.
She read the international news section of the paper, noting the coverage on Orlisia. Then she caught up on the email reports from Parnaas. She smiled when she read that a school had been set up since they left. Even in the midst of chaos, kids had to go to school.
She flagged a dozen or so items for follow up. She should probably go into the office at some point during the weekend, but right then, she had no desire to get out of bed. Sophie glanced down at Michael, still sleeping beside her. Who would want to get out of bed with the most gorgeous guy in the world curled up naked in the sheets?
His green eyes suddenly fluttered open. He looked like he didn’t quite know where he was. “What time is it?”
“Almost one o’clock in the afternoon, if you can believe it,” she said. “You’re beautiful when you sleep, you know.”
Michael smiled sheepishly then got out of bed. He came back shortly after with his own coffee, and climbed back in beside her. “What is new in the world?” He gestured to the paper.
“Same old, same old. The UN High Commissioner for Refugees continues to urge the Soviet Republic to hand over full control of the Parnaas camp to them. Commandant Jaros, of course, has gone back to Moscow, never to be seen again. Zimbabwe is still a mess. Somalia’s getting worse. We’ve been thinking for a while that the Horn of Africa will be our next target.” He flinched, and she looked at him in surprise. “What?”
“Nothing.” Then after a long silence, he sighed. “It is something I need to learn to deal with. You going away to dangerous places without me.”
“It’s not an unreasonable fear,” Sophie said. “I felt the same way when you went to Orlisia last year. I understand.” She drew closer to him, and he rested his head in her lap. “The therapist can help you cope with those feelings. He’s worked with the spouses of some of our field workers, helping them deal with their fears while their partners are away.”
“Is it wrong for me to wish from time to time that you had selected a more conventional profession?”
“No. Sometimes I wish it myself. But it’s what I do, and I love it.” She looked down at her iPhone without seeing it. “Although I don’t know how I will bear it the first time I’m away from you for a month or two. I don’t even like being away from you for a day. We’ll both have some adjusting to do.”
“You getting hurt or being in danger when I am not there to protect you…that is the worst fear in my heart.”
Sophie felt her throat constrict at Michael’s confession. How could she not relate to what he was saying after everything that had happened in the last year?
“I know.” She groped for his hand and squeezed it, willing her tears away. “It’s hard for me to imagine you being frightened about anything, big, strong man that you are.”
He grinned and kissed the back of her hand. “I feel similarly about you, even though you are a small, weak woman. You also rarely show fear. Tell me, mana mila, what do you fear most?”
“I don’t like spiders.”
“I know that,” he said, grinning, “for I have killed many for you over the years. But that is not what you fear most in life, is it?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She suddenly felt very uneasy. Sophie knew exactly what she feared most, but she didn’t like the idea of sharing it with him.