VANGUARD

 

She hid in her quarters until she knew Michael would be asleep, then tiptoed back to the infirmary. His breathing sounded less congested than it had in previous nights.

 

She slid silently into the bed, so narrow that she had no choice but to sleep right up against him. She sighed with pleasure as she pressed her body against his back. She slipped her arm around him, pulling herself closer, took two or three deep breaths, and started to relax.

 

In a flash, Michael rolled on top of her, his body pinning her to the bed. His hands closed around her wrists, and his knee pressed between her thighs. In the semi-darkness, she saw his furious face inches above hers. She could feel his muscles trembling, heard the harsh scrape of his breathing, and knew how much energy he was expending to pull off this little display of manliness.

 

“Why are you here?” he snarled in Orlisian. “Why do you sleep with me every night other than to humiliate me?” His anger might have been alarming if she hadn’t already seen him throw tantrums in the past. Mind you, she’d never been on the bottom of one of them before. “Since you no longer desire me, why do you return to my bed?”

 

If he hadn’t had her wrists pinned, she would have slapped her forehead in disgust. Possibly his as well.

 

“You are such a fool,” she snapped. Then she reached up to capture his mouth with her own.

 

Michael stiffened in shock, then returned the kiss with bruising force. She rammed her tongue past his lips, sweeping over every inch of his mouth. His ferocity didn’t frighten her. She knew him better than she knew herself, knew he would rather die than physically harm a woman. All the terror and desperation of the last several months poured through them as they clung to one another.

 

Slowly, his grip relaxed, and his kisses became sweet and soft. Sophie slid her hands free and moved them down through his short, spiky hair to his back. She ran her fingers over his shoulders.

 

“Now do you believe that I still want you?”

 

“Yes,” he said in a low voice. “Almost as much as I want you, Mana mila.” His words sent a shiver through her body.

 

“I’m sorry you interpreted my distance as a lack of desire. I want you more than any other man on this earth.” He growled in response, his hands sliding down to her hips. “Stop,” she said. “I’m…I’m afraid.”

 

His hands froze, and he pulled back to look at her face. “Afraid? Of me?” His expression was horrified. “Did I hurt you just now? I…I did not mean to. I will be good to you, so good, please let me show you how wonderful I can make you feel.” He started to move down her body, but she put her hands on his shoulders to still him.

 

“I know you would.” She let out a shaky sigh. “But if you do, I won’t be able to keep my wits about me. And I still don’t know how to get you back to the US without the Commandant punishing the refugees and the mission.” She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. “I’m afraid that I won’t figure it out in time.”

 

Michael rolled off her and pulled Sophie into his chest. “We can figure this out together, magnificent one. Surely we can find a way to work together, instead of against one another, for once in our lives?”

 

She smiled weakly at his words, but the fear in her gut didn’t lessen any. This was her battle with the Commandant, not his or anyone else’s. His offer to shoulder part of the burden was generous, but unnecessary.

 

“Perhaps we can,” she said, pushing the topic off for another time. “I wonder if there’s something else we might do as well.” She felt his gaze in the darkness. “There’s nothing more I want right now than you. But since we’ve waited this long, perhaps we could wait two more days?

 

“I thought we could go to Kaliningrad the day after tomorrow to get your passport. If your health allows, of course. You need your documentation to reenter the US. We could stay overnight there. In a nice hotel, so our first time together could be special.” She felt herself blushing. “And perhaps a little more private than an infirmary with no door on it.”

 

Michael’s laughter rang out in the quiet room. It was the first time she had heard him laugh – really laugh – since they’d found him in Parnaas.

 

“Yes, mana mila. I would like that, too. More than you could ever know.” Even in the dark, she could see the embarrassed flush that spread over his face. “And although I could please you greatly tonight in some ways, I am not at all certain that I can…” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “That I can make love in the traditional sense yet. So it may be best to wait for me to recover a little more.” She suppressed a giggle at this unexpected admission and resisted the urge to check to see if he was telling the truth.

 

His expression suddenly grew tender. “I have waited a long time for you. Two more days will not kill either of us.”

 

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