Chapter 11
Trevor
"I thought we talked about this?" I look at Liz, and then back down at the round case of pills that are taunting me from the counter. I told her that I want to start working on getting her pregnant. I need to know that she is tied to me in a way that is unbreakable. Yeah, she has my ring on her finger, and in a week she'll have my last name. But that's not going to be enough. It might make me a controlling dick, but I need it. I have to know that we have something to tie us together through eternity.
"No, you talked about it. You said what you wanted, and I told you that I don't want the same thing."
"Baby, I know you want the same thing as me."
"In Trevor's universe, I'm sure you think that." She stands, taking her plate to the sink.
"You love July." My anger is starting to surface, and I know that I need to stop before I say something I can’t take back.
"I do," she whispers. I can see tears forming in her eyes.
"Talk to me; tell me what the f*ck is going through your head?" I yell. Her eyes meet mine, and there is so much pain looking back at me that I flinch.
"I can't do it," she whispers, right before she runs out of the house. It takes a second to realize that the sound I hear is her car spitting up gravel in the driveway. "F*ck!" I roar, picking up her pill case and crushing it in my fist, before I throw them across the room, grab my keys, and head out to find my fiancée.
I have driven all over town, and called everyone and anyone who might know where Liz is, but no one has heard a word from her. Logically, I know that she's okay, but I feel sick with worry and know I won't be able to breathe easy until I can see her and touch her. Something in my brain makes me drive by the cemetery where her father is buried. When I see her car parked outside the gate, all the things I didn't understand, the things she has been keeping bottled up, slide into place. Shutting off the engine, I hop out of the truck and walk through the giant iron gates. I look to the left, seeing a bright blue blur off in the distance. When I get closer, I see Liz kneeling, her head to the ground in front of her father’s grave. Watching her small body shaking with sobs, my gut tightens, and my stomach drops. Seeing the woman I love in this kind of pain kills me. Once I reach her, I pull her into my arms, breathing her in.
"I can't do it. I love you, but I can't have your baby," she cries, her voice filled with so much pain that it feels like my skin is splitting open.
"Baby, what happened to your mom and dad is not going to happen to me and you." I feel her trying to climb into me; I hold her closer, trying to absorb some of her pain. "Your dad would want you to be as happy as possible," I whisper into her hair, running my hands up and down her back, trying to comfort her.
"I’m af–afraid that I’ll leave a kid behind like I was left behind. I d–d–don’t want that to happen," she stutters out, her body rocking against mine with the strength of her tears.
"Breathe, baby." I'm trying to speak quietly, stroking my hand down her back. "You know that we can't predict the future, but you and I not sharing the love that we have for each other with a life that we create together would be devastating to me. I love you so much more than I ever thought was possible to love another person. You have made me a better person, taught me that love—real love—is unconditional, and has no strings attached, and is given without expecting anything in return." I pull her face away from my body so I can see her eyes. "I want to share everything with you. All the good and the bad that life has to offer, I want you by my side for all of it.
"What happens if one or both of us dies? What happens then?"
"You can't live your life thinking ’what if‘. There are too many variables." I tell her honestly. "Do you think that if your dad knew that he was going to leave you while he was still young, while you were still young, that he wouldn't have wanted the time he had with you, Tim, and your mom? Or do you think that even with his time cut short, that he appreciated every single second that he had with y’all, knowing that he had his family and people who loved him.”
“He left me!” She cries harder.
“He did leave, but he never left you. He is always with you.”
“I miss him.”
“I know you do, baby,” I struggle out against the lump in my throat. “I know you do.”
“I don’t want anyone to miss me.” Her words are so quiet, that I hardly make them out.
“If something happened to you, I wouldn’t know how to go on without you. I would miss you every day; so would everyone else that you have given even the smallest amount of your time to. Every person you come in contact with is lucky to know someone like you. Knowing the kind of woman you are lets me know that when you become the mother to our children, they will be lucky, because you love so completely with everything you have.”
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Tell me,” I say, pulling her face out of my neck, looking into her eyes. As much as it would kill me to not have a child with her, if that is what she truly wanted, I would do it for her. “You don’t want a baby?” Her face goes slack; tears start to fall harder.
“When I think about never having a baby, it makes me feel sick,” she whispers. “But when I think about having a baby, I feel panic.” I nod my head in understanding.
“Have you ever talked to anyone about losing your dad?” She shakes her head. “Would you, if I went with you?”
“Do you think I’m crazy?”
“No, baby. I think that you haven’t ever had a chance to deal with losing your dad. Maybe talking to someone will help you get some closure.”
“I’m not ready to have a baby, Trevor. I love you and know that it’s something that you want, but I just…I’m not ready. I don’t know if I will ever be ready.” As much as her words make my heart ache, I know she’s right. Until she is completely ready, it wouldn’t be fair to force something on her that could give her anxiety; especially when it is supposed to be something that is celebrated.
“When, or if, you’re ever ready, we will talk about it then.”
“I don’t want to prevent you from having a family.”
“You’re my family, and if you’re all I have for the rest of my days, I will be okay with that.” She starts crying again, this time harder than before. “It will be okay, baby. One day at a time, we will work through this.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere; not without you.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” I say back. “Let’s go home.”
“Please.” I walk back out of the cemetery with Liz tucked under my arm. When we reach her car, I look down at her. Her beautiful eyes are puffy and red; she looks exhausted.
“I’m gonna call the boys and have them come get your car to bring it home so you don’t have to drive.”
“I’m okay.”
“I know, but you’re not driving. Get in the truck; I’m going to move your car over to the parking lot.”
“Fine,” she grumbles, making me smile for the first time today.
“Be right back.” I open the truck door, lifting her in, pull her face down to mine, and give her a quick kiss, before slamming the door closed. I jog to her car, slide behind the wheel, pull it into the parking lot, and shove the keys under the seat. I call Nico, asking him if he can have someone drop him off and drive Liz’s car home for me. He agrees immediately; I hang up and jog back across the parking lot to where my truck is parked in front of the cemetery, open the door, and slide in. “How do you feel about taking a nap?” I ask, pulling her across the seat by the waist of her jeans.
“I could use a nap, but I’m supposed to meet the seamstress for my last fitting.” As soon as the words are out, her body stiffens. I can see the wheels in her head turning.
“If you even think for one f*cking minute that we’re not getting married next week, you’re out of your damn mind,” I growl, a little more anger leaking into my words than I wanted, but f*ck that; we’re getting married.
“Are you sure?”
“F*ck yes.” I watch as she chews her lower lip, her eyes coming to mine. “I told you before that one way or another, we’re getting married. Even if I have to drag you down the damn aisle, you will have my last name in a week.”
“Then I need to go have my last fitting.”
“What time?” She looks at the dash, then back to me.
“Six.”
“Alright, we have a few hours. We can go home and relax till then.” I put the truck in drive, flipping a U-turn onto the main road. Once on the road, I pull her under my arm; her head lays against my chest, and the silence of the cab allows me to concentrate on her even breathing, the sound so soothing that my body relaxes, and I just enjoy the feel of her next to me. The entire way home, I think for the first time how easily this could be lost, and how lost I would be without it.
*~*~*
It’s been five days since Liz broke down about having a baby. Five days of wedding planning, lots of laughter, and tons of family. Tomorrow, I marry the woman I will be spending the rest of my life with. This last week has been good for Liz—for the both of us, really. For the first time ever, Liz spoke to her mom about her father’s death. Her mom surprised Liz by telling her that shortly after she and Liz started to rebuild their relationship, she started seeing a counselor to help her work through the grief she was feeling. I was pissed when Liz told me this, mad that she never thought to have her children talk to someone about their own feelings and what they were going through. I wanted to rage about the situation, but logically knew it would do no one any good to have me flip the f*ck out about something that happened years ago.
After Liz talked with her mom, she agreed that it was time to talk to someone about how she’s been feeling, and the fear she lives with every day, thinking that something bad is going to happen to her or someone she loves. I never knew how much she had been holding in until the day of her first session, two days after her breakdown in the cemetery. She called me, asking if I could come get her from the building where her doctor’s practice was. I could hear the tears in her voice when I answered; she sounded so lost. When we got home, she opened up about the conversation she had with her doctor. She said he explained that she had a form of anxiety, and a mild case of PTSD, brought on by the loss of her father and the lack of acceptance from her mother after his death. The doctor explained that with sessions and medication, she would be able to learn how to process what she is feeling in a positive manner, instead of trying to bury it the way she always has. I know that it’s going to be a lot of work for her, but I also know my woman is strong and can handle anything; and if there is ever a point when she thinks she won’t be able to make it, I will pick her up and carry her.
“Baby, seriously, hurry the f*ck up. We’re already late!” I yell down the hall towards the bedroom.
“Hold your damn horses, Trevor!” she yells back, making me smile.
“You really going to make us late to our own rehearsal dinner?”
“If you would stop bugging me, I would be ready already,” she yells back, making me laugh. I walk to the fridge, pull out a beer, pop the top, and look down at Lolly, who is watching me, waiting for the treat she knows I’m going to give her. I lean over the counter, lift the lid on the treat jar, listening to Lolly’s tail as she beats a hole in the floor. “You should at least give her a command when you give her a treat, so she knows why she’s getting it,” Liz says. My head comes up, and my dick becomes instantly hard. My mouth falls open, and my gut clenches at the sight of her. The navy blue all-lace dress is completely form–fitting; the neck is square-cut right above her cleavage, under her collarbones. Her long blonde hair flows over her shoulders and breasts. The sleeves are long, to her wrists, and the hem reaches mid–thigh, drawing attention to her long legs.
“Do you have anything on under that?” I ask, looking her over. My eyes fall on her shoes; they are tall, with straps wrapping around her ankles, and a heel that I want to feel in my back later tonight.
“Yes, it’s made to look like you don’t have anything on under it.”
“I don’t know if I should let you out of the house looking like you do right now.”
“What?”
“Every man who sees you is going to be picturing you naked under it.”
“You’re the only one who gets to see me naked,” she smiles.
“Come here.”
“I’m right here,” she says, taking stuff from one bag and putting it into another, not even looking up at me.
“And I want you right here,” I tell her, leaning over the counter and grabbing her hand, dragging her over to me.
“What are you doing?”
“Seeing what you’ve got on under this thing,” I say, looking her over and seeing that the lace does have some kind of mesh under it that is the same exact tone as her skin.
“Are you happy now?” she laughs.
“Not yet; one more thing.” I pull the bottom of her dress up her thighs and over her ass.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to see what I will be getting later tonight.” I look at the nude-colored lace that sits under her belly button and shows off the cheeks of her ass.
“You’re getting your hand, buddy.” She pats my chest. “I’m staying at my mom’s tonight, remember?” F*ck, I forgot about that.
“Who made that stupid rule up?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs, shimmying her dress back over her hips.
“You’re not leaving me tonight until I taste you; so you need to figure out how to make that happen, or your mom’s going to be pissed when I show up at her house, telling her that I need to eat her daughter’s p-ssy before I go to bed or else I can’t sleep.” I watch her cheeks turn bright pink as she glares at me.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Oh, but wouldn’t I?” I smirk. I wouldn’t do that, exactly, but I would show up at her mom’s to get my nightly snack.
“Trevor.”
“Figure it out, babe.”
“I’m sure that you will be okay for one night,” she says, the pink in her cheeks getting darker, traveling along her neck.
“It’s mine. There is no reason for me to go without.” We both stare at each other; her eyes darken, her breathing picks up, and I know she wants it. “Do you have everything you need?” I ask, my voice sounding a little rougher than normal. I watch as she looks around, then presses her knees together. The movement is small, but so telling.
“Yeah, but will you carry my overnight bag for me? It’s still on the bed.”
“No problem. Why don’t you go wait in the car? I’ll be there in a minute. Matter of fact...” I say, swinging her up into my arms, making her scream. “I’ll just carry you out first. I don’t want you walking in the gravel in those shoes.” She runs her finger along my bottom lip like she always does, before relaxing into me as I carry her to the car. When we finally make it to the rehearsal dinner, we have an amazing time, surrounded by all the people who mean the most to us. We talk and share stories; both our moms put together a slideshow of each of us growing up, and even though I can see the sadness in Liz’s eyes in the pictures that were taken after her father’s passing, I can tell she never let it hold her back. And I promised myself that every day, I would try to make her smile. And no matter what happens she will know how much she is loved.
After the dinner, I take Liz with me out to my truck under the pretense of getting something she needs. Really, I’m getting something I need. I sit her on the passenger’s seat of my truck, her legs hanging out the door. I lift the bottom of her dress up over her hips and eat her p-ssy, while she bites into her hand so people won’t hear her screaming my name in the parking lot. Just when I finish with her, her mom shows up, saying it’s time to go. Liz hops out of my truck, promising to see me at the wedding. I press her into the side of my truck, kissing her enough to hold me over for the night.
When I get home and finally lay down, I realize that if God is good to me, I will never have to feel her side of the bed empty again.
*~*~*
“Can I have your attention?” We all look up when my dad starts to talk.
After I got up this morning, all my brothers showed up. I had no idea what Liz would be doing, but I sat around playing Call of Duty, laughing, and joking with my brothers until it was time to put on our suits. We headed out to Liz’s grandparents’ property that was now owned by a middle-aged couple who didn’t have any children. They were more than happy to let us borrow a piece of their property for the day that had meant so much to Liz and her mom.
When we arrived at the location—the part of the property that used to house a barn but had burnt to the ground years ago—that was now turned into a giant parking lot. Leading down to the location of the old weeping willow, was a path made up of small wooden posts with ribbon wrapped around them to help guide the way of our guests. There were three giant white tents set up off to the side; that would be where we had our reception later on in the evening. At the tree where we would be getting married, someone had gathered the branches of the weeping willow and tied lavender and mint-green ribbons around them, creating a space in the tree so we could stand inside and people could still see us. The old swing was painted white, the rope wrapped in gauze. The chairs for guests were set up outside of the tree, all white with lavender or mint bows tied around each one.
Even as a guy, I had to hand it to our mothers; they went above and beyond making the whole area look magical, and I knew that when Liz saw what had been done for us, she would be more than grateful, just as I was. When the time finally came for Liz to arrive, I took my place under the tree, with Cash standing beside me as my best man. The pastor that had married Liz’s parents stood on my other side. I didn’t know what to expect when I saw Liz on our wedding day, walking towards me. But I never expected to be floored by how beautiful she looked in her white strapless dress. The top looked like a corset, and the bottom flowed out, looking like something a southern belle would wear.
My emotions were all over the place. Pride, lust, protectiveness, possessiveness, and so much love that I thought I would explode as it coursed through me. As she walked towards me, I knew that this was exactly where I was supposed to be. When she finally stood in front of me, I couldn’t help but to put my fingers into her hair that was half–up and half–down, and pull her up to me for a kiss. I whispered to her how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to be the one she walked down the aisle to. I didn’t stop whispering to her or kissing her, until I heard the pastor behind us clear his throat and say lowly that we were supposed to wait until after our vows for the kiss. I pulled back slightly, but kept my body pressed into her.
I have no idea if anyone heard our vows. I was so enraptured by her and the moment that nothing else mattered. When I slid the other part of her ring onto her finger, completing the set that would sit on her finger for the rest of our lives, I felt whole for the first time ever. And I knew she must have felt something similar when she slid my ring on my finger. Her hands were shaking, and her words low; she looked at the ring on my finger for a long time, before looking up at me with tears sliding down her cheeks that I slid away with my thumbs. The moment the pastor announced us man and wife, and that I could kiss the bride, I held her face in my hands and poured my soul into that kiss, telling her without words how happy I was.
My dad’s voice snaps me out of my daydream.
“When Trevor came to me and his mother, and told us that he was going to ask Liz to marry him, we couldn’t have been more proud of his choice in a wife.” I look down at Liz and kiss her forehead. “It’s a great honor to us as parents, seeing the boys we raised into men, choosing the kind of women our sons have chosen, and knowing that our family will grow and become bigger and better with each new addition. Son, I know you understand what a gift has been given to you. May you always nurture it, protect it, and help it grow and flourish. And may your love and commitment take you on a long and joyous journey throughout the years to come. Congratulations.”
Liz and I raise our glasses to my dad. I watch as Liz mouths to my parents that she loves them. When my dad sat down, her mom starts tapping her glass with a fork, calling attention to herself. She looks to Liz and me with tears shining in her eyes.
“This is hard for me to do,” she says quietly. Looking beside her, I see George place his hand against her lower back, and watch her take a breath, his touch giving her strength. “Liz lost her father many years ago, but I know that if he was here, he would have wanted to speak. Liz was always a daddy’s girl, and she had him wrapped around her little finger,” she laughs. “He used to joke about what life would be like when she started dating, the typical father wanting the perfect man for his little girl.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, tears fell. “I truly believe that he sent Trevor to my beautiful baby girl, a man who looks at her like she is the reason he is able to breathe, someone who completes her. I…I’m lucky to call you my son, and thankful that my daughter has a man who I know will always protect and care for her.” She raises her glass, and we all follow her lead. “To the bride and groom, my new son and daughter. May you always find a way to overcome challenges together. May you find new ways to fall in love every day all over again. And may your love for each other continue and grow. Cheers.” She sits quickly, shoving her face into her napkin, George wrapping his arms around her. I lean over kissing Liz; her lips, nose, and then forehead.
“Can I have the bride and groom make their way to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife?” the DJ asks. Adele’s Make You Feel My Love starts playing as I take Liz’s hand, helping her up, and walking her out to the dance floor.
“I love you, Mrs. Mayson,” I whisper into her ear as we sway to the music.
“I love you, Mr. Mayson,” she says, looking up at me, her eyes shining brightly with happiness.
“I can’t wait to get you out of this dress,” I say, running my hands down her sides.
“I think you said that already,” she laughs.
“It’s all I can think about. It’s all I’ve thought about since you were walking down the aisle to me.”
“You look very hot in your tux. I can’t believe that you wore one.”
“Have you met our mothers, baby?” I ask, looking at her seriously. “If I didn’t put the thing on, they would have dressed me themselves.”
“You’re right; I’m surprised they didn’t fuss when I picked my own dress.”
“I would have fought them for you.” I wrap her closer, one hand on her lower back, the other on the side of her face, holding her close to my body as we continue to sway to the music. When the song ends, my dad takes Liz away from me, while I take Liz’s mom’s hand for a dance.
“Thank you,” she smiles softly, looking up at me.
“For what?”
“Loving my daughter.”
“It’s easy,” I tell her, bending down to kiss her cheek. When the song ends, Liz and I make our way to the table that is holding the cake. Everyone gathers around as we each take a small piece. I feed her the piece I’m holding, making sure that I get it all in her mouth and none on her face. When I bend low for her to give me mine, she touches my nose with it, catching me off guard; my mouth is open, so she shoves the piece in, laughing hysterically then turns to run. But Cash, Asher, and Nico are all blocking her path. Everyone around us starts laughing, and Liz turns back around to face me. I haven’t even moved to wipe the icing from my nose.
“Sorry,” she laughs. “Um, you have something right here.” She points to her nose. I nod in understanding. “Do you want me to get it?” she asks sweetly.
“Come here baby,” I say, making sure my voice is the soft but demanding tone that I know drives her crazy.
She shakes her head no.
“Come here.” She takes a step towards me, biting her lip. When she gets close enough for me to grab, I lunge, wrapping my arm around her waist. She’s bent back over my arm, and I wipe the icing on my nose down her neck, and then proceed to lick it all off her. I listen to her laughing the whole time. “You taste so much better than the cake, baby,” I tell her, kissing her lips and hearing everyone applaud.
*~*~*
“I can’t believe this whole place is ours for the next week,” Liz says, as we look out over the forest and lake below. After the reception, we got in my truck, and everyone waved glow sticks and threw confetti as we drove away. We had already packed for our week-long honeymoon, our bags in the back of my truck, but we wouldn’t need a lot of clothes since I planned on taking advantage of the privacy at our family’s Gatlinburg cabin.
“You want to go in the hot tub?”
“Yes, but first I need help getting out of this dress.”
“I’m more than happy to help you get out of this dress,” I tell her, picking her up and heading inside to the bedroom. Once there, I watch as she pulls a small string that is tied into the waist of her dress, causing the whole bottom half of her dress to drop to the floor at her feet. “Holy shit.” I can’t take my eyes away. She still has the top of her dress on that looks like a corset. Everything she’s wearing is white. In my mind, it contrasts with how unbelievably sexy she looks in her corset, a pair of white silk panties, and white silk stockings with a thick edge of lace that are attached to the garter belt around her hips. A small sliver of skin peaks from in-between her panties and the garter belt, making me salivate.
“Can you untie the back?” She turns around, making me groan. The cheeks of her perfectly round ass are peeking out from the bottom of her silk panties.
“Are you trying to kill me?” I choke out.
“What?” Her head snaps around.
“You seriously have to know how f*cking hot you look right now.” She gets a crazy little smile on her face before arching her back slightly.
“Can you please untie me?” I step towards her, running my fingers along the edge of her panties on her ass before grabbing one of the ribbons, giving it a gentle tug, and unraveling the bow. When I finally get her completely unlaced, she pulls it around to her front, then places it on the bed, before turning around to face me, her hands holding her breasts. The whole visual is so hot; I actually do know where to start. I pull her forward, my hand wrapping around her hair, bending her head back, giving my mouth access to hers when she gasps. I lick, bite, and suck on her lips, her tongue chasing mine. My mouth travels behind her ear, down her neck to first one breast, pulling her nipple in and sucking hard, then the other, doing the same. Her body arches back. I let go of her hair, drop to my knees, pulling her by the hips so her p-ssy is right in front of my face, and bite her through her panties, before ripping them to the side and f*cking her with my mouth. She grinds down on me, using my head as leverage.
“So f*cking wet, baby. You like it when I f*ck your p-ssy with my mouth. You like me eating you.” I look up at her, her cheeks flushed, lips pink, and eyes dark and hungry. I grab both her ass cheeks, pulling her tighter against me. “Tell me,” I growl.
“Yes, I love it.” F*ck, I was going to come in my pants just from watching her get off. I pull her tighter against me, sucking her * into my mouth. She comes on a scream, and when I know she’s back with me, I stand up, kissing her deeply, and start getting undressed with her watching me the whole time. While I pull off my pants, she unclips her garter belt from her stockings and is about to roll them down her thighs, when I stop her.
“Let me do that.” I walked over, my fingers traveling up her hips and under the garter belt before pulling her panties down, leaving everything else in place. I help her onto the bed, crawl between her legs, lift one, and then the other, and rest her ankles on my shoulders. I slowly rolled down her stockings, taking my time to kiss every inch of skin I expose along the way. “You’re so beautiful.” Feeling her wet heat against the head of my cock, I can’t help but to slide into her in one long stroke, feeling her wetness surrounding me. Her p-ssy tightens, her head arches back, baring her neck, and when her eyes come back to mine, I slide out, then back in the same way. Every stroke is slow and precise, making sure to hit that spot that I know will have her screaming when it finally builds up. “You’re so tight and wet, baby. I love the way you feel surrounding me.” Her arms and legs wrap around me, holding me tightly.
I can feel myself beginning to lose it when I feel her p-ssy practically begging to convulse around me, each stroke pulling us both closer and closer. “Come with me. Shit, come with me.” I put my hand between her legs, pinching her * and sending her over with me. I rolled over so she was on top of me, both of us breathing deeply. “We just consummated our marriage,” I say on a puff of air. She starts laughing, her head coming up.
“We did; now it’s official. You’re stuck with me, Mr. Mayson.”
“Thank f*ck.” I pull her head back down, kissing the top. “How about the hot tub now?”
“Sure, just let me lay here for a few minutes.”
“You can relax in the hot tub.” I palm her ass, stand up, and carry her outside to the hot tub. And this is how we spend our honeymoon. Sleeping late, breakfast in bed, lazing around the cabin while reading, watching movies, kayaking on the lake, and nights and days making love.