Opening my eyes, I close them again when I realize I haven’t been dreaming. I’m really at Jax’s house in Tennessee. Sitting up and putting my feet on the floor, I stretch before standing. I don’t want Hope to wake up Jax, and my daughter—though I love her more than anything in this world—is loud. I don’t think she has ever gotten the concept of her inside voice. Opening my door and looking down the hall towards Jax’s room, I see his door is open, but he’s not awake. At least, I don’t think so.
His chest is rising and falling steadily. His arm muscles are flexed, one over his head, the other draped across his bare abdomen. All I can see is beautiful golden skin over muscle…lots and lots of muscle. Pulling my eyes from him and tiptoeing down the hall, I make it to Hope’s room and go inside, shutting the door.
Seeing Hope asleep in her bed on her tummy with her hand pressed under her cheek, I walk to the only other piece of furniture in the room, an old rocking chair, and sit down. My life with Hope hasn’t always been easy, but we’ve always been happy. I have always made sure she has what she needs, and a little extra when I could afford it, but last night, when we pulled up in front of Jax’s house and she whispered to him that he lived in a castle, I knew I needed to do more. She deserves to live in a house, not a trailer park where drugs are dealt right outside her bedroom window. She deserves a backyard and a good school, with friends who are good kids. I’m not sure what is going to happen with us living in Tennessee, but I vow I will work harder to give Hope a life completely different than the one I had growing up.
“Mama?”
“Hey, Angel.” I smile, opening my arms to her as she walks sleepily toward me. “Did you sleep okay?” I ask, tucking her head under my chin and wrapping my arms around her, rocking her gently.
“Like a pwincess.” She smiles, tipping her head back to look at me. “I’m hungwy.”
I know Jax said to make ourselves at home, but I still feel awkward using his stuff when he isn’t around. It feels personal…way too personal. “Can I have pancakes?”
Crap. I’m not gonna starve my daughter, so I need to pull my big girl panties up and get over whatever reservations I have with being in Jax’s house, especially since this is our home for the time being, too.
“You have to be very quiet until we get downstairs. Can you do that?”
“Like a mouse,” she whispers, making me smile.
“Okay, little mouse, let’s go,” I tell her, standing up and taking her hand in mine.
“Jax is sweepin’,” she loudly whispers when we step into the hall.
“Remember, quiet as a mouse,” I say, and her nose scrunches up and down a few times like a mouse would do, and I grin.
Getting to the kitchen, I lift her up, set her on the counter, and then look around.
Jax’s house is nice, but you can tell he’s slowly trying to fix it up. Cans of paint and different tiles sit in the corner next to a backdoor I hadn’t noticed last night. The upper cabinets don’t match the lower ones, and the linoleum floors are peeling up, completely gone in some spots. The fridge is new, stainless steel, with some kind of computer on the front, but the other appliance are old and white. The one thing that’s completed is the countertops. They aren’t granite, but look like concrete that has specks of glass imbedded in them. Looking around, I can tell that one day, when he gets around to finishing everything, it will be amazing.
“What are you doing?” Hope giggles, bringing me out of my perusal of the kitchen.
Smiling at her, I shrug then begin opening the cupboards one at a time until I come across the stuff necessary to make pancakes.
“Are you ready to be my mixer?” I ask her, putting some flour in the bowl and handing her a spoon.
“Yep.” She grins, stirring the flour, causing it to fly up out of the bowl and hit us both in the face. “Uh oh.” She covers her mouth with the spoon still in her hand, flinging flour at me and dumping some on her in the process. Then she begins to giggle louder, her little body shaking with the force of it.
Narrowing my eyes, I set my hands on my hips. “You did that on purpose.”
“I didn’t. I pwomise.”
“You did.” I laugh then tickle her while kissing her all over her face, making her squirm in my arms.