“You look pretty, Mama.”
“So do you.” I smile at her, lifting her off the counter and setting her on her feet. “Go make sure the puppies are okay and change your shoes so we can leave.”
“But I want to wear my princess shoes.” She frowns.
“If you want to get lots of eggs, you have to be able to run fast, so you need your other shoes.”
“Okay,” she grumbles, leaving the bathroom with me shaking my head.
Going to the closet, I slip on my heels then look at myself in the mirror once more before going downstairs, where I find Jax sitting in the living room with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.
“What happened? Who was at the door?”
Lifting his head slowly, his eyes meet mine and his hand holds out a slip of folded paper to me.
“What is it?” I whisper, and he shakes his head. Taking the paper from him, I unfold it then move to sit on the couch when I see it’s a letter from his mom.
Dear Jax,
To say I was surprised to see you standing outside of my house would be the understatement of the century. For years and years, I thought of what I would say to you if we ever met face to face, but being in your presence and seeing up close the pain I caused you made it too real.
I could make a million excuses and tell you a million lies, but the truth is I was a selfish coward. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you and your family, and if it were possible to go back in time, know I would do a lot of things differently. All except for giving birth to you.
The first time I saw your dad hold you, I knew that was what love was supposed to look like, and even though I was jealous at the time, I now understand how wrong I was for feeling that way.
I was lucky for a brief moment to see something so beautiful and to know I helped bring it to life.
I know we will never be close, and I have made peace with that, but I wish you the best and hope you find your own piece of beautiful.
XX Jules
“Oh, my God,” I breathe as tears fall onto the bottom of the shaking paper in my hands.
“That’s why she was here; she was bringing me that letter. Her mom found it in her belongings when she got her stuff back from the medical examiner,” he says, clenching his jaw.
Getting off the couch, I walk to where he’s sitting, settle myself on his lap, and then hold his face between my hands. “I’m so sorry, Babe,” I whisper, watching his eyes close briefly before meeting mine again.
“She saved my life, and because of her, you and Hope are still here.”
“I know,” I agree, pressing my mouth to his then leaning back to search his face while my hand stays wrapped around his jaw and my thumb moves over his chin.
“I’ve hated her for so long, and now I don’t know what to feel.”
“I know it’s not easy after everything that happened, but I think you’ll feel better once you find a way to forgive her,” I tell him quietly, running my fingers over his lips.
“How do I do that?” he asks, looking lost.
“I don’t know,” I confess, feeling tears fill my eyes. “But I’ll help you.”
“I’ll help too, Daddy Ax,” Hope says as she runs into the living room and climbs onto the chair with us. “What are we doin?”
Laughing, Jax presses a kiss to her hair then smiles at her. “You’re doing it, sweetheart. You and your mom both are.”
“I’m a good helper.” She smiles, making us laugh.
“You’re the best helper there is, Angel baby,” I say, kissing her forehead then Jax before getting off his lap watching Hope kiss his cheek before getting off his lap and pulling him up, tugging on his hand.