I was dirty, smelly, and mentally drained, so I darted to my room before anyone could stop me.
My mom bellowed at me when dinner was done, and I knew by her tone that I had better sit down with the family. Hiding out the entire night in my room was not an option. Used to large gatherings, Mom had the longest table known to man in her dining room. It still wasn’t big enough for all of us though, and a couple of folding tables were set up for the kids. It was like Thanksgiving on crack.
After helping Mom set the table, because not helping wasn’t an option either, I took a spot next to Dustin and mumbled a polite greeting. Chelsey was on his other side, beaming up at him like he was the center of her universe, and maybe he was. She certainly hadn’t looked this at peace while he’d been gone. It made me think of my own universe and how a huge piece of it was missing.
Mom set down heaping bowls of cut tomatoes, avocados, olives, onions, and lettuce. Then she brought out about five pounds of ground beef and enough tortillas to tile the entire house…and I didn’t want any of it. Eating sounded about as appealing as licking the toilet seat. After Liam had used it.
I made a plate, ’cause I knew Mom would flip a lid if I didn’t, but as the rest of my family dug into their tacos, I only nibbled on a piece of lettuce. Everyone asked Dustin about his time away, which allowed me to sit and stew in silence. I didn’t want them to ask about my first day. I didn’t want to think about my first day. Or my second, third, fourth…
Luck wasn’t with me though. As soon as Dustin had a break in recounting his heroics, he asked me, “So, Griffin, Chesley tells me you changed jobs, and today was your first day. How was it? Anybody recognize you from the band? Ask for a signature?”
By the look on his face, I knew he sincerely meant that. He didn’t realize the way people saw me now. The way the general public saw me. I didn’t want to tell him either. It was embarrassing to admit that I had been recognized…and laughed at.
Admitting the truth wasn’t an option, but my lie kind of sucked too, just for a different reason. “No…nobody recognized me.”
Dustin seemed as disheartened to hear that as I was to say it. “Oh, well…that’s probably for the best anyway.” He gave me an award-worthy smile. “Knowing a celebrity was in their midst would be distracting.”
My smile was brief. Yeah…distracting.
Dustin seemed about to ask me more, but luckily Liam asked him a technical question about fighter jets. Dustin hadn’t worked on or around planes, but I guess Liam just assumed he’d be an expert on them since he was in the military. Jackass.
While Dustin told him the tidbits he did know, I zoned out. My gaze returned to Chelsey as she watched her husband and ate her taco. She looked so satisfied just staring at him. It made me wonder if all Anna and I’d had was physical. Was Anna happy with me when it came to the nonsexual side of our relationship? I wanted to believe she was, but I really wasn’t sure. She must not have been if she left. And you must not have been if you let her leave.
Pushing that nagging thought from my brain, I rewound to a simpler time…a time when we’d been happy, with no cares in the world. It had been back when we were just fooling around—fuck buddies. The best of both worlds. Not really, but that was what I’d been telling myself at the time.
We’d just left a restaurant in Seattle and were walking back to the car. When I’d parked us down by the pier, we hadn’t been sure where we wanted to eat, and we’d wandered almost a dozen blocks to find this little hole-in-the-wall Irish pub with great beer and awesome food.
Stuff like that happened a lot with Anna. We’d play it by ear, go where the wind took us, and wind up having an amazing night. But after leaving the pub, we were both too stuffed to make the long trip back to my car. We hadn’t been sure what to do when I’d suddenly spotted the answer.
“Let’s take a horse carriage ride.” I pointed in front of us to where a white stallion was hooked up to a carriage lined with red roses. It was a pretty romantic setup, but at the time, I’d just wanted to get off my feet for a while.
“But that won’t get us any closer to the car. It goes in a circle.”
Nodding, I started pulling her toward the carriage. “Yeah, it will get us a little closer if we bail halfway through…and if we don’t, we’ll at least get to work on these food babies.” I grabbed my stomach with my free hand and Anna laughed. God, I loved that sound.