Chapter Twelve
Very casually, Eli leaned forward to pat Ray on the back. He pretended not to understand the source of her distress. “Don’t gulp your soup, Ray.” Then he settled back in his chair and continued. “My grandfather is back home now, and my grandmother and Jeremy, of course. You won’t find a place more conducive to rest, and the weather is beautiful this time of year. You could—”
“No.”
Eli gave her a level look. “Why not?”
“Because . . . because . . .” She looked at her brother in near desperation. “Matt and I both have jobs. We can’t just take off whenever we please.”
Quietly, Eli contemplated the problem before giving his attention to Matt. “You’re going to college soon?”
“This fall.”
He nodded. “The men who work for me make good wages. It isn’t easy work, but if you’re interested, I can always use another hand. You can put in as many or as few hours as you like. It would be up to you.”
Matt flicked a glance at Ray. Again, Eli noted the strong family resemblance between them. They shared the same dark eyes and hair, the same high cheekbones and stubborn chin. But where Ray seemed intensely purposeful most of the time, Matt had a natural geniality about him. Eli imagined Ray had done much to see that Matt maintained that carefree attitude—at her own expense.
Ray put her spoon on her tray. “It doesn’t matter if Matt agrees. I still have a job to think about.”
Eli hated pushing her when she wasn’t up to snuff, but this was too important. “You also have a baby to consider. Look at yourself, Ray. You’re exhausted and as pale as your sheets. You need to take care of yourself right now.”
“I’ve always done just that, Eli. On my own. And without your help.”
“Agreed. But now you have my baby—our baby—to think of, too.” He stood next to the bed and looked down at her. “So you’ll have my help, whether you want it or not.”
“Is that so?”
He leaned down, caging her in with his arms. “I’m not going away, Ray. I don’t know what it’s going to take to convince you, but whatever it is, I’ll find it.”
Ray tightened her mouth mutinously. Then she suddenly blurted, “Your brother doesn’t like me.”
Incredulous, Eli straightened. “For God’s sake, he doesn’t even know you. I can’t believe you’d be offended by anything he said when you knew what he’d just been through. He sure as hell wasn’t himself, and your introduction wasn’t under the best of circumstances.” Eli shook his head. “I want you to marry me, Ray.”
Her eyes looked ready to fall out of her head. “Marry you?” The words were little more than a horrified whisper. “But . . . why?”
Eli’s thoughts scrambled for credible arguments. “I can help with Matt’s college bills.”
The color returned to her face in a rush. “We pay our own bills.”
“Don’t sound so damned offended. As my wife, you and your family would become my concern, so they’d be my bills, too. Matt would have a good job in the summer, and attend college the rest of the time.”
“I can take care of Matt on my own.”
Matt made a rude sound. “You two make me sound like an infant who needs to be taken care of.”
“Speaking of infants, you are having my baby.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, at this point, marriage isn’t going to change anything.”
Exasperated, Eli snapped, “I care about you, damn it.”
There were three beats of silence before Ray replied. “You never said so before.”
“Hell, Ray, you kept telling me to get lost. I wasn’t sure you’d want to hear it.”
Matt cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t mind going with Eli. You’re not the only one who likes to use his hands, you know. I do, too. What he’s offering sounds better than working at the mall, which is about the only summer job I could get. And you did say you finished your carpentry job today . . .” At the expression she aimed his way, he rushed to add, “But naturally, it’s up to you.”
Ray sighed.
“I have to go out for a while,” Matt said with sudden decisiveness. “Don’t, ah, expect me until late. Okay?” He picked up the dog and started out the door.
“We’ll leave early in the morning,” Eli called after him. “I’d give you more time, but I need to get back for my grandfather.”
Matt nodded.
Scowling, Ray said, “Matt, wait. Nothing’s been decided . . .”
He was already gone, the door closed softly behind him. Eli blew out a deep breath. One down, one to go.
The love Ray felt for her brother, the protectiveness, was plain to see, and Eli decided to use that to his advantage. “You should consider Matt before making a decision, Ray. Don’t you think he’ll feel better knowing you’re well taken care of? I saw how he dotes on you. He’s worried.”
“I know.” Ray tilted her head back in frustration, then viciously punched the mattress next to her hip. That didn’t appease her and she hit it again, then twice more.
“Feel better?”
“No,” she snarled.
Knowing victory was imminent, Eli hid his satisfaction and reseated himself beside her. He removed the tray before she spilled it and took her hands in his, rubbing her knuckles until she relaxed, loosening her fists, then he kissed each palm.
It was time to get serious, and to do some apologizing. “What happened in the hotel . . . it was my fault. I should have thought of protection, but it never occurred to me. And that’s strange because I’ve always been careful.”
She shrugged. “Me, too. And it wasn’t all your fault. I remember being there, Eli, a willing participant.”
Always honest. She pleased him so damn much. “Very willing. But that doesn’t excuse me. At the time, all I could think of was showing you how much I cared.” He touched her cheek. “I really do, you know.”
Ray shied away from his declaration. “Here I thought maybe it was the comfort of a real bed.”
“With you, I’m finding time and place doesn’t matter. In the jungle, that ratty little hut out in the middle of nowhere, it all seemed . . . I don’t know. Surreal.” He would have said magical, beautiful, incredible—but he didn’t want to push her more than he already had. “At the hotel, I already knew you were planning to skip out on me. I felt it.”
Ray looked uncomfortable at that. “You’re too damned astute.” And she grumbled, “I’m sorry.”
He acknowledged that with a nod. “I’d like to make love to you in my bed, without worrying about bats or guerillas. I’d like to love you knowing you’ll still be there in the morning, that you don’t want to leave.”
Her bottom lip started to quiver, totally unmanning him. “Ray.” He scooted closer to her on the bed, pulled her into his side. “Honey, I know it’s a little late to be asking you this, but how do you feel about having the baby?”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. She shook her head.
He frowned over her distressed expression. “I don’t know what that means, babe. Talk to me.”
She looked up at him. “What do I know about having babies or being a parent? I scare grown men, Eli. Matt wasn’t joking about those women running off in tears just because I tried to instruct them. Can you imagine what I’d do to a kid?”
Eli felt caught between a laugh and suffocating tenderness. He pulled Ray into a hug, rocking her. “Everything will be all right, Ray. Trust me.”
“You don’t understand.” Her voice was shaky and self-derisive. “Look at me, Eli. I’m a thirty-one-year-old part-time mercenary and carpenter. What a joke.”
“You’re a beautiful, sensitive woman.”
Her laugh was raw, heartbreaking. “I don’t have anything to teach a kid except how to protect himself and how to survive, and given a choice, I don’t want any kid to have to worry about stuff like that.”
Eli squeezed her tighter. “Those are important things to learn. But you’re wrong when you say that’s all you know.” He caught her chin and brought her face up to his. “You know honesty and honor, pride, integrity, and the value of hard work. You, Ray Vereker, are going to be an excellent mother.”
Ray blinked at him before laughing. “Did you fall off another planet, Eli? Because you sure as hell don’t have your feet planted firmly in this one. And you don’t talk like a rich man, either. What’s all this about hard work? I thought your type disdained that sort of thing.”
“One of these days, you’re going to really piss me off, Ray, do you know that?” Though he knew she resorted to insults to distance herself, it still bothered him. He stood to pace restlessly around the room, finally stopping before a high window. Keeping his back to Ray, he said, “There are a few things you don’t know about me. Since you’ll soon be my wife and the mother of my child, maybe it’s time you did.”
She scooted up higher in the bed. “I didn’t agree to the wife part, but I’m all ears.”
Eli turned to face her. “I’ll make this as short and uncomplicated as I can.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I never knew my father, Ray.” She didn’t look shocked or judgmental, just curious. “He married my mother against my grandfather’s wishes, and they ran off together. My grandparents still loved him, but they’d argued and . . .he became estranged from the family.” Eli shoved his hands into his pockets and starting pacing again. He hated rehashing old news, and if Ray hadn’t persisted in trying to make him out as some wealthy snob, he might not have told her. At least, not yet. “My mother hadn’t counted on that because, just as my grandfather predicted, she’d married him for his money, not out of love. It didn’t take my father long to realize my grandfather was right. She was . . . immoral, to say the least.”
“How so?”
Eli shook his head and stared beyond her. “They divorced and my father went home, before my mother told him about me.”
She straightened in the bed. “Eli, I swear, I would have told you—”
He smiled to reassure her. “You’re nothing like her, Ray, I know that. You would never use a baby. But I can remember my mother laughing about it, saying she’d duped him and that soon she’d cash in. She said I’d take my rightful place in the family and there wasn’t anything they could do about it. She made no bones about the fact that I’d be a pawn. Hell, she loved it.”
“That’s awful.” She placed her hands protectively over her belly, and it pleased him. “So did she finally introduce you to your family?”
“I don’t think she quite had the nerve. Whenever she drank she’d make plans, but when she sobered up, she wouldn’t mention it.”
“She was an alcoholic?”
Inside his pockets, where it wouldn’t show, Eli’s hands curled into fists. “She wasn’t really a drunk so much as a partier. I can remember one man after another trooping through. We lived with some of them, sometimes we lived in trailers, and once at a women’s shelter.”
“But Jeremy . . . ?”
“Is my half brother. My father remarried and they had Jeremy and were very happy together, from what I’ve been told. They died in a car wreck before I could ever meet them.”
“Then you must have introduced yourself to your grandparents on your own.” She gave Eli a look of admiration. “That had to be tough.”
He laughed with self-derision. “It wasn’t like that, honey. When I contacted them, it was with the intent of using them, just as my mother had always planned. You see, she’d long since washed her hands of me. She disappeared completely when I was seventeen. I just . . . I came home one day and she was gone. Not that I should have been surprised. She told me she’d leave if I didn’t stay out of trouble.”
Softly, Ray asked, “And you didn’t?”
“Hell, no. If anything, it seemed I got worse, until finally I was arrested for hurting a guy during a brawl. I spent two days in county jail because I didn’t have anyone to call or any way to make bail.” His eyes searched her face, looking for some sign of what she thought, how she took his news.
“Why’d you hurt him?”
“Who?”
“The guy in the brawl.”
“Oh.” Eli didn’t know why it mattered to her, but he said, “He was drunk and a bully and he was picking on this skinny little guy—”
Ray grinned. “I see. So you called your grandfather?”
“Not exactly. I’d been in trouble before with juvenile authorities, mostly just pranks, but I knew this time it would probably be bad. I decided I had nothing to lose, so I tried looking up my father.”
Ray leaned forward on the bed, curling her legs beneath her and listening intently to Eli. “What happened?”
“My grandfather showed up instead. And let me tell you something about Granddad, no one uses him.” Eli relaxed with that memory, smiling with genuine affection. “He took one look at me, saw a family resemblance, and claimed me as a Connors.”
Ray nodded. “Smart man.”
“So damn smart, it’s scary. His bones are weaker now, but his mind is still razor sharp.” He settled his most somber gaze on Ray. “You think my grandfather must be a snob because he’s wealthy. But he went through the Depression a poor man. Everything he has, he earned the old-fashioned way—by nearly working himself into the grave. He’s a self-made man and even though his attitudes tend to be hard in some ways, he’s always fair.”
“Was he hard on you?”
Grinning, Eli said, “He was a mean son of a bitch at first, but then so was I, and we fought all the time. He didn’t put up with anything. Before I knew it I was sitting at a table for three meals a day, because Granddad said my grandmother expected it and he wouldn’t let me disappoint her. When I wasn’t in school, he had me working by his side at the ranch until I was so exhausted, I didn’t have the energy to get into trouble. He also bought me my first horse, and my first car.”
“Something fancy?”
He laughed. “A beat-up trap that we had to work on together. But by the time we finished, it looked and ran great. It got me through college, and when I graduated with honors, just to prove to him that I could, he told me how proud he was of me. I’d never heard that kind of praise in my whole life. The next year, after I’d trained in the business, he gave me responsibility and trust.” Eli’s jaw flexed as he remembered the swell of emotions he’d suffered that day. “He gave me his business to run.”
Ray nodded. “I think I like your grandfather already.”
Her comment helped him to shake off the memories. “He said the same thing about you when I told him about the piranha.”
“You didn’t,” she protested. But she was laughing.
“It’s been tough on Jeremy. He lost his parents when he was little more than a baby and then I showed up and stole half his grandparents’ attention. I hope you’ll give him some time.”
“To do what?”
“To get to know you like I do.”
“You don’t really know me.” As if admitting a grave sin, she said, “I screw up sometimes. I make big mistakes and I fail at things.”
He shrugged. “You’re human. It happens.” Ray frowned in thought. “What?” He bent to capture her gaze. “Come on, Ray. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Why me? That’s what I can’t understand, Eli. Despite everything you just said, you know good and well it won’t be easy between us, especially on me. I won’t fit comfortably into your life, so why don’t you look somewhere else for a wife?”
Eli sat beside her on the bed. “I’m thirty-three years old, I haven’t been a monk, but I’ve never met a woman I enjoyed as much as you. You make me proud, Ray, with all you’ve accomplished and all you can do. Not many people, man or woman, can claim your talents. You also make me laugh and you sure as hell make me hot. I like talking to you, holding you, and the sex is phenomenal.” He stopped to smile. “Far as I can tell, your biggest complaint about me is my money.”
She was still frowning over his straightforward compliments, but said, “Not just money, Eli. You’re rich.”
“Yeah. But you know, a wise woman once told me there was a big difference between people born with money and those that acquired it on their own. My father and Jeremy are the only Connors men able to take wealth for granted. And as for me, well, I think I fall somewhere in the middle.”
“You’ve been rich a long time.”
“I wasn’t born that way. And though a lot of it was given to me, I’ve made quite a bit since starting to work with my grandfather all those years ago. I didn’t have to create the opportunity, but I’ve definitely taken advantage of it. And I work damned hard to make everything run smoothly, for myself, for my grandparents, and for Jeremy. If that makes me a bad person, Ray, then so be it. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. And if you’re honest, you’ll admit you care about me, too.”
She lowered her head. “I used to think about marriage. Even about babies.”
Eli’s heart beat faster. “Yeah?”
“A long time ago, when I was a different person. Young and stupid.”
“You were never dumb, Ray.”
She drew a careful breath. “When I was a kid, when my folks were still alive, I had all the same silly dreams most girls have. Then things changed, and I found out I’m different.”
“Wonderfully different.”
She didn’t look up. “I had a partner once. I was crazy about him. I’d have died for him. But . . .” She shook her head. “I let him down.”
The words sliced into Eli. “No, Ray. You did the best you could, and if things didn’t work out, then no one was to blame.”
She didn’t realize he knew the story. She thought he was just speaking in generalities. Her gaze met his, somber and distant and so damn sad. “Don’t you see, Eli. I disappointed a man who was so much like me, a man who knew what to expect from me. I tried, but I couldn’t . . .” She bit her lips hard before continuing. “With you it’d be even harder. The things you’d need from me, I can’t give, and I’d end up disappointing you, too.”
Rage burned in his gut. “Just what the hell do you think I’ll want you to do?”
“Dinner parties? Society events? I don’t even know, because I don’t know your world. I used to think I did, but now I’m not so sure.”
Eli came to his feet. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re being a coward.”
Her mouth tightened.
“You refuse to even try because you’re afraid of failing. Come to the ranch with me, see what it’s like, then decide. Who knows, maybe I’ll surprise you. If you don’t want to stay, we’ll work something else out. But that’s not too much to ask, not of you, not of a mercenary who faces down armed guerillas, and not from the woman who’s carrying my baby.”
Eli held his breath, waiting to see what she would say. Regardless, he wouldn’t give up on her. He couldn’t. He’d never wanted anything as badly as he wanted Ray Vereker and the baby she carried.
She sighed. “I’m feeling better. And I’m starved. You want to go downstairs with me and have some soup? This bowl’s gotten cold already. Matt makes great soup.”
Lunch wasn’t really the first thing on his mind. “You’ll come to the ranch with me?”
She was already leaving the bed, her face not quite so pale now. “I’ll go—for a while. And then we’ll see. I’m not making any promises about marriage, though.”
Eli was content with the bargain. Small steps, he told himself. Ray’s life had been very unique and trying. He couldn’t expect to change everything, certainly not her insecurities, overnight. “We’ll leave tomorrow. First thing.”
“Maybe. I have to make some arrangements first.”
Her back was to him as he followed her out the door, so she couldn’t see his wide grin of triumph. He even picked up her dog on his way down the steps, rubbing the shaggy little rat behind his furry ears. Precious growled deliriously, appreciating his touch but apparently not willing to let Eli know it.
He thought the dog and Ray shared some definite similarities.
“Soup sounds great.”
Ray glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes questioning.
“But after lunch, I intend to strip you naked, shower with you, then put you back to bed.”
Ray shivered. “You know, I think I feel another faint coming on.”
Eli chuckled as he slipped his arm around her waist. “Don’t worry. I promise I’ll revive you so you don’t miss a thing.” Then he kissed her brow. “Trust me.”
Ray groaned as Eli pressed small, gentle kisses onto her belly. “I can hardly believe you’re pregnant.” He covered her with his hand, his fingertips touching her hipbones. “You’re still so slim.”
Ray arched into his palm. “I’ll be fat as a cow soon enough.”
Eli lifted his head to smile at her. “The idea of you all round and womanly with my baby makes me hot.”
“That’s no test. Everything makes you hot.” She started to laugh, then groaned instead as Eli very gently and very slowly slid his finger deep inside her. He was being especially careful with her and it drove Ray nuts. “I’m not in a good frame of mine, Eli. You shouldn’t play with me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Ray.”
She curled her hand around his head, her fingers tangling in his soft brown hair. “You would never hurt me.”
His gaze shot to hers, smoldering hot. “You believe that now?”
She nodded. He would never deliberately hurt her, but that didn’t mean he could control the future, or shield her from the rest of his family. Regardless of what he said, Ray still couldn’t imagine any family, rich or poor, taking her in stride. Even the people who didn’t know her well—her neighbors, teachers at her brother’s school—gave her a wide berth and watched her with the same caution they’d give a wild animal.
She used to do her best to fit in; now she just got by and took what pleasure in her life that she could. Eli was pleasure personified—so should she take him at his word?
Eli forced her mind from that train of thought when he nuzzled against her breast. She gasped, and he asked quietly, with great interest, “Are you tender already?”
He hadn’t stopped touching her to ask that question, hadn’t slowed the gentle, rhythmic thrusting of his finger, so Ray was only able to nod. But Eli was satisfied with her answer. He suckled her with gentle care, drawing her nipple deep into the heat of his mouth and very lightly stroking her with his tongue.
It was an exquisite torture, and her tolerance was excessively low these days. Ray decided she’d had enough. With little effort, taking Eli by surprise, she switched their positions. She might be pregnant, but she was no slacker.
Eli found himself flat on his back. Ray straddled his upper thighs, captured his hot, hard erection in her hands, and grinned wickedly as she felt him flex in excitement. “Let’s see how you like being tormented, Eli.”
“I wasn’t tormenting you,” he started to object, but ended by groaning loudly. Ray stroked him, smoothed her fingers over the tip of him, and then leaned forward to kiss his hard, hair-roughened belly, much as he had done to her.
“There’s something you need to understand right now, Eli Connors. You’re not always going to be in charge in the sack.” She made that statement between careful nibbles on his hip, her fingers wrapped firmly around his pulsing cock, stroking, enticing. He strained against her. “I’ve let you have your way most of the time, but right now I’m not feeling so generous.”
Eli caught her shoulders and pulled her higher so that she was poised just above him, her thighs open and vulnerable over his pelvis, her breasts within reach of his mouth. He raised his hips and slowly began to enter her.
“Honey, you can be in charge whenever you want,” he rasped, holding her tightly.
Ray almost laughed, since Eli was again taking over. But as he filled her, lifting his head at the same time to cautiously capture a tender nipple, she decided she didn’t mind at all.
Ray braced her hands on his tense shoulders, tightened her thighs on his hips, then thrust herself down, taking his length completely. The pregnancy had made her more sensitive and she yelled with the pleasure of it.
Eli’s fingers dug into her soft buttocks as he held her steady for his accelerated thrusts. And Ray, smiling in satisfaction, let him have his way.
“I hope Matt doesn’t get lost.” She would have preferred for them all to leave together, but that hadn’t been possible, not with Eli rushing, and Matt insistent on telling his friends good-bye.
“I gave him detailed instructions, Ray. He seems like a real levelheaded kid, so have a little faith, will you? He and Precious will make it in one piece.”
“How much farther do we have to go?” It already seemed like they’d been on the road forever.
Eli shrugged. “A couple of hours. Why? Do you need another break?”
“No, but I can’t blame you for asking. Being pregnant has done strange things to me. I swear I have a bladder the size of a titmouse.”
Eli laughed as he reached over and squeezed her knee. “I don’t mind stopping, honey, as long as you don’t overdo. You’re finally starting to look like yourself again. I don’t mind telling you now, I almost suffered shock when I saw you at that restaurant.”
“Most people have to work, Eli.”
“Don’t get defensive. That isn’t what I meant at all. It’s just that I’m used to seeing you carry a weapon, not a tool belt that probably weighs more than you do.”
She punched him in the arm, earning a grin.
“And then your brother goes and tells me I’m to be a father.” He shook his head. “It’s a damned good thing I have a strong constitution, or you two would have been picking me up off the floor. Mortal men can only take so much.”
It seemed to Ray that Eli had accepted the pregnancy much easier than she had. Of course, he wasn’t the one suffering the side effects. “You’re okay with the whole thing?”
His voice softened. “Are you kidding? I’m thrilled. I’ve already been imagining what he’ll look like.”
“He?” And just to be contrary, she asked, “What if it’s a girl?”
“Then I hope she looks exactly like her mother.”
If she had her way, her baby wouldn’t have a single similarity to her. She wanted this child to be happy—she just didn’t know if it was possible, not with her as the mother. “Does your family know you’re bringing me back?”
“They knew that was my intention. My grandfather wished me luck.”
Be careful what you wish for. “And Jeremy?”
“Try to be understanding with him, Ray. He’s always had to be my little brother. There’s a fourteen-year difference in our ages. When I showed up, Jeremy was only four years old and very used to being the center of everyone’s attention. Even though Jeremy’s always treated me exactly like a brother, I think it bothers him that I’m only his half brother, and yet everything that should have been rightfully his by birth has been handed to me. Until Jeremy finishes college, he’s dependent on me and the company.”
Ray scowled. “Nothing was handed to you. You worked hard for what you have. The fact that your father didn’t marry your mother shouldn’t have anything to do with it.”
Eli laughed. “You don’t have to defend me, honey. No one treats me like an outsider, least of all Jeremy. But it can’t be easy for him being so much younger. He’s forever trying to prove himself.”
“And never quite measuring up?”
Eli shrugged. “I have a lot of years and experience over him.”
“Not to mention a different background?” Ray shook her head. “You know, Eli, I don’t think being born rich or having things given to you is necessarily a favor.”
“But our baby will have advantages, Ray. Things you didn’t have. It’ll be up to us to teach him about hard work, about earning and then appreciating what you get.”
It’ll be up to us . . . Ray squeezed her eyes shut on that daunting thought. She’d be responsible for a person, not just for a short time, but from birth on. This wouldn’t be like crawling through a bug-infested swamp, or climbing barbed wire. It wasn’t something she could resolve with a few well-placed hits.
This was important—and she could really screw it up.
“You look more like yourself now.”
Ray jumped, then wanted to curse herself. “What do you mean?”
“Your color is back. You don’t look so exhausted.”
“Oh.” Eli was so good at reading her thoughts, she often felt exposed, and wary. “It’s a beautiful day, and for once my stomach is at peace. Probably because of all this fresh air.”
“And here I thought it was me.”
“You?”
Eli nodded, dead serious. “You’ve been worried, thinking about the future and how to handle raising a baby on your own. Now you know you don’t have to. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
He had read her thoughts! “Now you’re the cure for morning sickness? Well hell, Eli, we’ll neither one need to work. We’ll make a fortune just passing you around to all the preggo ladies.”
He didn’t mind her teasing. “I’m only saying that you’re more comfortable with me near.”
True. With Eli’s return, a bubble of happiness had slowly expanded inside her. At first, she’d tried to call it nerves, annoyance, but she knew deep down what it really was. And that forced her to accept how miserable she’d been without him. Unacceptable.
“Your ego knows no bounds, Eli.”
“At least admit you missed me.”
The smile came without her permission. “I did.”
“Just a little?”
Her voice softened, as did her heart. “Actually . . . a lot.” Eli looked so pleased by her admission, she was glad she’d given it to him.
Nothing had really been settled yet, but Eli was here, claiming he’d stick around. She didn’t have to worry about being a bad mother, because she knew instinctively that Eli would be one hell of a dad.
Exhaustion pulled at her, and Ray settled back to take a small nap. She didn’t feel nearly as self-conscious with the weakness as she thought she would, probably because Eli was so matter-of-fact about it. He didn’t see it as a weakness, just the natural course of her pregnancy. His easy acceptance of her body’s changes helped her to accept them, too. And that did make her stomach feel more settled.
At the subtle shake of her shoulder, she jerked awake with a start. She was so sluggish, she knew she’d been totally out. “What?”
“Time to get up, sleepyhead.”
Ray stretched. Had Eli driven all that way without her company? God, she hoped she hadn’t snored. He came around to her side of the truck and opened the door.
She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, stepped out, and blurted, “I thought we were going to your home.”
“This is it.”
No. She looked around at the expansive yard, the white fences, and the enormous two-story building. It had to be a hotel. “How many bedrooms?”
“Ray . . .”
“How many?”
“Eight, and before you ask, there are five private baths. Which only means you’ll be comfortable.”
No, it meant she’d get lost trying to find her way around. She stepped away from the truck, staring around herself in shock. Behind the house were several more buildings—two enormous wooden barns, one with ten stall doors and one with twelve doors. There was a smaller shed, a sixty-foot round pen with six-foot sides, and a walk-through gate. More training areas, another building with an enormous loft, and a black walnut grove helped fill the landscape.
The house had two stories, each with a beautiful railed balcony and an abundance of sparkling windows. Stately oaks flanked each side with lush, mature landscaping, shrubs and flowers everywhere. The white brick with black shutters and shingles looked very elegant. The double front door was an aged oak with elaborately leaded sidelights and transom. Breathtaking.
And intimidating.
And now . . . open.
“Ah, here’re my grandparents.”
Ray held her breath as two elderly people emerged, the man dressed in a flannel shirt despite the heat, with suspenders and using a cane, the woman wiping her hands on a snowy, starched apron. They paused there in the sunlight.
It was like a fricking Norman Rockwell painting, complete with the homey feeling.
Shading his eyes, Eli’s grandfather visually raked Ray from head to toe, then scowled ferociously at Eli.
Her old nausea returned in one staggering wave. Ray clamped her hand over her mouth, but didn’t know where to go.
“Hold on.” Eli grabbed her arm and hustled her up the porch steps so fast that his grandparents had to scurry to get out of the way. Belatedly, he shouted, “Excuse us, please,” and Ray barely heard a woman’s softly spoken, “Oh my,” before Eli dumped her into a small guest bathroom. She fell to her knees before the toilet, hung her head, and quickly prayed for some way to disappear.
“I’ll be right outside the door,” Eli told her, giving her the privacy she badly needed.
Some minutes later, when Ray finally quit heaving, she crawled up to the cream-colored porcelain sink, splashed her face, and rinsed her mouth, then looked around for a way to escape. She did not want to face those old people again.
Unfortunately, the only window was octagonal cut glass, meant to let light in, not to let mercenaries out.
Eli tapped at the door. “Ray? Are you all right?”
Just dandy. “Unfortunately, it looks like I’ll live.”
She could hear Eli’s smile when he said through the door, “That bad, huh?” Then the door opened a crack and Eli dared to show himself. “Come on out and I’ll get you some tea.”
Ray groaned and sank back against the sink. “No way. I can’t imagine what your grandparents think.”
Ray’s eyes flared and her spine stiffened when a female voice, cool and commanding, said from behind Eli, “They think Eli hasn’t told them quite everything.”
“Uh-oh,” Ray whispered. “The fat’s in the fire now.” She would rather have faced a legion of guards in Central America than go through an inquisition with Eli’s grandparents.
Eli laughed, caught her arm, and towed her out. “I wasn’t given a chance, Gram. I didn’t know until I found her, and there wasn’t time to call. I was in a hurry to get home.”
“To check up on me, you mean,” came a grouchy male voice.
“It’s a nasty job,” Eli teased, “but someone has to keep you in line.”
Ray stared. Up close, she could see that Eli’s grandfather had enough eyebrow hair for three men. Deep, permanent creases left him in a perpetual scowl, and his watery brown eyes were direct and mean. But he stood straight and proud, and as Ray took in the sight of him, he thumped his cane on the floor, making her jump.
Eli rubbed the back of her neck. “If you’re feeling okay now, I’ll finish my introductions.”
Ray nodded. No way in hell could she smile, but she did square her shoulders and lift her chin.
“Granddad, Gram, this is Ray Vereker. Ray, my grandparents, Hank and Lily.”
“How far along are you, girl?” Hank demanded in a tone that brooked no arguments.
That particular tone prodded Ray. She narrowed her eyes and said, “I’m not a girl.”
Lily smiled. “Obviously not, since you’re carrying a baby. Still, we would like to know when to expect the birth.”
Ray didn’t know what to think. Eli stood there grinning like a half-wit, his hand still firm on her shoulder, and his grandparents were watching her expectantly. Grumbling, she admitted, “I’m about five weeks along.”
Hank groaned, making her expect the worse. Maybe now he’d throw her out, or question her character.
Instead, he said, “That’s not very far along at all. I may not make it another eight months!”
Taken aback, Ray said, “Uh . . .”
Eli shook his head. “She can’t make the baby come any earlier, so stop trying to make her feel guilty.”
Lily shushed both men. “Can’t you two see she’s ill? She needs to sit down, for heaven’s sake, and she needs something to eat.”
Ray’s stomach gave a violent lurch at the thought of food. “No, thank you. I’m not hungry.”
“Nonsense. You should nibble on dry toast or crackers whenever you feel queasy. It really helps to settle your stomach.” Lily spoke with absolute conviction and confidence. “And you should concentrate on getting a lot of small, fresh meals, rather than three large ones. I can help with that. In a month or so, the sickness will probably be gone completely.”
Ray’s heart picked up speed. “Really?” This was more information than she’d ever gotten from her condescending doctor. That fool had acted like her pregnancy was a crime against nature. She would have stopped going to him—but that would mean breaking in a new doctor, and she had no time for that.
If Lily spoke the truth, she could handle a month. It was the thought of being sick for the rest of her pregnancy that beat her down.
Lily took her arm. “The time will fly by,” she predicted. “I’ll show you to the kitchen, since Eli doesn’t seem capable of doing anything but grinning. We’ll have you chipper in no time.”
Chipper? Not likely. That wasn’t a word that had ever been applied to her.
Still, she went along willingly. Lily offered her some bread and sharp cheese, and a cup of hot, sweet tea. It didn’t sound particularly appetizing at first, but once she started, Ray ate every bite. And a moment later, she did feel much better.
Lily chatted at her while she ate, and the woman was constant motion. She’d no sooner sit down than she’d be up again to refill a cup, to offer more food, or just to fuss around. She cleaned the countertop at least three times, even though it was already clean. And she’d look out the kitchen window at a bird or a squirrel and smile.
Ray liked her. Before getting pregnant, she had detested idle time, too, so she could relate. “Your house is incredible.”
“Thank you.” Lily beamed. “It’s seen its share of repairs and additions, but we’ve been here forever. I can’t imagine any place else being home.”
Ray nodded. Instead of being the mansion she’d envisioned, it was the kind of home every young girl dreamed about. It was homey, warm, and well lived in. There was a mudroom off the kitchen, and on the floor sat several pairs of scuffed, dirty cowboy boots. Rain slickers and windbreakers covered hooks on a wall, and there were shelves lined with fresh canned goods.
Lily was telling Ray about the time the creek flooded when Lily noticed her yawning. It was only four o’clock, but to Ray, it felt much later.
“You go up and take a nap. Getting plenty of rest early on is important. I remember I slept away the first three months of each of my pregnancies.”
Ray didn’t want to go to bed. “How many children did you have?”
“Only two. Eli’s father, who sadly enough died some time ago in an automobile accident on the freeway, and a daughter, Jessica, who lives in California now with her husband.”
“Do you have other grandchildren, then?”
“Oh, no. Jessica can’t have children, though they did try for several years. And since Eli hadn’t seemed particularly interested in any one woman, we’d about given up hope of enjoying any babies. You can understand why we’re so pleased the two of you will be getting married and giving us a great-grandchild.”
Eli chose that propitious moment to saunter into the kitchen. His eyes held Ray’s as he said slowly and grievously, “The marriage part is still up in the air, Gram.”
Hank, who had followed on his heels, was instantly enraged. “What the hell do you mean, up in the air? You got her pregnant and you’re still dodging marriage?”
“Actually,” Eli said, his eyes glinting with humor, “I’m not the one doing the dodging. It’s Ray who refuses to say yes.”
All eyes turned to Ray, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt herself blush. When she got him alone, Eli was dead meat. But until then, she didn’t think his grandfather would appreciate a display of her combat abilities. And though she hated to admit it, she didn’t want these gentle, loving people to know the truth about her.
At her venomous look, Eli told them, “Ray didn’t think you would like her because she doesn’t have a ton of money.”
Ray sputtered.
“She also happens to be very independent and self-sufficient.” Eli reached over and smoothed a knuckle over Ray’s cheek. “She thought she’d have a hard time fitting in.”
Ray was overwhelmed by the response that comment generated. Hank and Lily both rushed to reassure her. They wanted her to stay—but then, they didn’t know what they were asking.
She hated deceiving them, allowing them to believe that she and Eli would make a nice little family. She hated letting them think she was an average woman with maternal skills.
Hank gave her another glare, and Ray decided it was simply his normal expression. “Where else would you go with my great-grandchild, I’d like to know?”
“It’s not that easy,” Ray admitted.
“You’re pregnant and Eli’s the father. Sounds pretty easy to me.”
Eli grinned at her. He must have known the reception she’d get—and how starved she was for acceptance. She’d given up dreams of her own family a long time ago.
At that moment, the kitchen door opened. Jeremy stood there, his hands planted on his hips, his face stony. His smile was not a pleasant thing. “Well, if it isn’t Ray Vereker. Who needs rescuing this time?”
“Jeremy.” Ray pushed back her chair and came to her feet.
He looked her over. “Hey, you’re dressed this time. But still wearing boots, I see. Army boots?”
Eli started to step forward, but Ray put her hand on his sleeve. She and Jeremy had to come to terms sooner or later. By the looks of it, he wanted it sooner—like now. “They’re not military issue, no.”
“You packing any weapons?” He grinned. “Got an Uzi hidden up your pants leg? Maybe a machete?”
He was full of the beans today, Ray noted. And he did look better, healthier than last time. Strange, but she kind of preferred him snoring.
She took a step toward him, her own smile a threat, and flexed her hands. “I don’t need a weapon, remember?”
Alarm skittered across his features until Ray laughed, then his expression darkened and he turned to his grandparents. “Is she here looking for more money?”
Eli put his arm around Ray and said, “More? She never got paid the first time.”
Ray shook her head. She’d taken off that night without the money they’d originally agreed on. To her mind, nothing had gone as planned, and she’d broken so many of her own rules she didn’t deserve pay. As far as she was concerned, nothing had changed on that score. “I don’t want it.”
“Buddy might.”
She lifted her chin. “I paid him out of my own account.”
“Ray.” Eli’s tone was chastising but not really annoyed. “That won’t do and you know it.”
“What’s all this about pay?” Hank demanded.
“She’s a hired killer,” Jeremy accused.
Ray felt her stomach sink. She could have truthfully denied the killer part, but said calmly instead, “I prefer the term ‘mercenary.’ ”
Hank and Lily went wide-eyed.
“Whatever you call it,” Jeremy said, “it doesn’t change who you are.”
“No,” Ray agreed, “it doesn’t.”
That admission didn’t appease Jeremy. “You still live and fight like a man.”
“Better than a man, actually.” In for a penny . . . “Which is how I saved your sorry butt.”
“Saved me?” Jeremy laughed. “Yeah, right. You knew the guys who took me, and it was your friend who poisoned me.” He shook his head, his look calculating. “I’ve thought about it, and I’m not so sure you weren’t in on the kidnapping all along.”