We’re going to Vegas, baby,” she said excited.
I was actually excited this time. We had such a great time when we went the last time, once I relaxed and knew that I wasn’t going to run into Drew, that is. I thought that Dawson and I needed a break.
“When?” I asked.
“March.”
Great, that was almost four months away, a whole winter.
“I can’t wait,” I said, trying to sound excited. She talked on and on about it, and was going to make hotel reservations right away to insure we got closer to the expo this time.
“Why don’t you go on home? I’ll close up.”
I looked at the clock, and it was almost three. I knew she wouldn’t be overwhelmed with customers, so I took her up on her offer and left, stopping at the grocery store on my way.
“Hi,” I answered my cellphone.
“Hey, you still mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you, Dawson.”
“I’m sorry, Ry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“It’s fine, Daw.”
“Where are you?” he asked, when he heard a car horn blow, figuring that I wasn’t at the shop.
“On my way home, I left early.”
“Why? You okay?”
I rolled my eyes. I loved that he cared about me. I loved that he loved me, but his constant badgering was almost more than I could take. I couldn’t forget my past because he wasn’t about to let me. If he wasn’t continuously asking me if I was okay, he wanted to talk about it, or me talk about it rather.
“Just a little headache, I’m going to go home and take a nap.”
“Okay. I’ll bring supper home.”
“Dawson, can I just be alone tonight?” Why did I just ask him permission to be alone? I was a twenty six year old woman. I didn’t need his permission.
“Please don’t push me away, Riley.”
“I’m not, Dawson. I am still going to marry you, and I still love you. I just need some alone time.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll talk to you later.”
I put the few groceries away and lay on my couch.
I didn’t really have a headache anymore, but I was feeling a bit of, I don’t know, self-pity, maybe. I did doze off and slept for all of twenty minutes before Lauren’s key unlocked my door, and she let herself in.
“Ry?” she called.
I raised my hand for her to see that I was on the couch.
She bounced around and sat in the chair.
“Watcha doing?”
Really?
“I was trying to take a nap,” I stated the obvious, sitting up.
“Are you sick?”
“No. Tired.”
“What are you doing for supper?”
“Do you think about anything but food?”
“Yeah. Sex,” she smiled.
I smiled too. “What are you doing tonight? Let’s order Chinese and have a girl’s night.”
“I don’t think Dawson is going to fit in,” she teased.
“He’s not invited,” I replied.
“Uh oh, did you guys have a fight?”
“No. Not really. I just told him that I wanted to be alone tonight. I feel like he is suffocating me.”
“Did you talk to him about it?”
“No. I am tired of talking about it,” I said, not talking about the same thing that she was talking about.
Lauren and I wrapped ourselves in warm fuzzy blankets and sat on the back deck with a twelve pack of beer. It was just what I needed. The November sky was dark and cloudy, kind of like my mood, but laughing about silly stuff with Lauren pulled me right away from my self-absorption. We only made it outside for about an hour and were freezing. We ordered Chinese around seven. Lauren flirted with the poor delivery boy something fierce. I couldn’t help but laugh at her.
She didn’t stay long much after that. She woke too early, and it was getting close to her bedtime. I found myself alone and damnit if I didn’t miss my sheriff. I was surprised that he hadn’t called, but I was sure that he was trying to give me my space.
I showered and cuddled up on the couch as I flipped on the television. I channel surfed for a while, never landing on one certain show. I took a deep breath, giving in and dialed Dawson.
“Feel better?” he asked on the first ring. I smiled. I
loved him so much, and wished then that I hadn’t been such a prune. He would have been right there with me had I not decided to go all dark on him.
“Yes, and I am sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I don’t know. For being such a pain, I guess.”
“You’re not a pain, Ry. I love you just the way you are.”
I snorted. He shouldn’t love me. He shouldn’t love me at all. He should have run the other way as soon as we met.
“Well, I feel like a real idiot now.”
“Why?”
“Because, I am going to bed alone.”
“I will be there in twenty minutes,” he said. I could see his smile through the phone.
“You will?”
“Unless you don’t want me to.”
“I want you to.”
***
I almost missed Las Vegas after enduring winter in
Maine. It was freezing, and I was tired of being indoors.